Ten Rules for Marrying a Cowboy

by Linda Goodnight

  Christmas Sunday. Something else she hadn’t considered. What did one wear to church on Christmas Sunday?

  Jacey rushed around the bar for her own plate, and Holt leaned in close to whisper. “Thank you. She was real excited about surprising you this morning.”

  He didn’t have to thank her. To be Jacey’s mother was why he’d married her. Yet, his words resonated deep.

  As did the fact that he’d cooked her breakfast.

  Faith Church wasn’t nearly as large as she’d expected. The white clapboard building reminded her of their wedding chapel with the steeple on top and the wide wooden front doors. Jacey, however, had been correct. The building was crowded.

  Smiling greeters stood on either side of the doorway, puffing breathy white clouds into the chill morning as they shook hands and handed out bulletins. People milled about both outside and in the foyer, smiling, offering greetings. Friendly.

  As she and her new family entered the sanctuary, an older man and woman rose from a pew to greet them. Holt made the introductions, but AnnaLeigh recognized the woman as Caroline Young, Ava’s grandmother. She occasionally picked up the girl from Cards for Kids.

  Just then, Ava came up beside Jacey, a princess, as usual, in Christmas green and red with green ribbons in her pale blonde curls.

  “Miss AnnaLeigh, you came!” Ava’s blue eyes glowed up at her. “Jacey said you would.”

  Jacey twirled around, sending her full skirt into flight. “This was my wedding dress. Isn’t it pretty? I was the flower maid. AnnaLeigh didn’t wear her new dress today, though. She gave it back. I wish she hadn’t. She looked bootiful, didn’t she, Daddy?”

  Holt reached for AnnaLeigh’s hand and squeezed, tugging her close to him. He always played the devoted husband so well. She could almost believe he loved her. “She did. She looks pretty today, too.”

  Liar. But AnnaLeigh preened a little anyway. She’d picked out a simple red tunic dress and paired it with black leggings and black heels. The tucked waist wasn’t the least bit snug. Yet. At Jacey’s insistence, she’d also pulled her hair up on the sides as she’d done for the wedding, letting soft waves fall over one shoulder. She wasn’t fancy, but she didn’t think she’d embarrass her new husband in front of his church friends.

  Ava’s grandfather, a broad man in a brown western jacket and brown boots, patted Holt on the back. “Congratulations to you both. We’re delighted to hear the news.”

  “Thank you, sir.”

  “You’re still coming to Christmas dinner, aren’t you?”

  Christmas dinner? AnnaLeigh glanced at Holt. He’d said nothing about visiting the Youngs on Christmas.

  “Wouldn’t miss it. Where’s Evan this morning?”

  Evan, the undersheriff and Ava’s dad, occasionally dropped by the card shop. A part-time rancher, he’d been to the house recently to look at a bull Holt had for sale. The two men had sat at the bar, talking horses and cows for two hours, while Jacey and Ava baked cookies with AnnaLeigh.

  “Evan’s on duty,” Mr. Young said, “but he hopes to drop in long enough to hear the children’s choir.”

  “I’m videoing in case he gets a call-out,” said Caroline, a matronly woman with salt-and-pepper hair and a kind face. She reminded AnnaLeigh of her favorite foster mom, the one who’d passed away before making AnnaLeigh her daughter. From Miss Peggy, AnnaLeigh had learned how to be a mother to Jacey.

  Music piping through the sound system switched gears, a signal, apparently, that service was about to begin. The chatter of voices subsided, and the mingling people took their seats.

  Soon, they were on their feet again, singing words from a pair of large overhead screens. Holt’s voice was rich and strong, and he sang from the heart while AnnaLeigh stumbled over the unfamiliar melodies. A time or two, he glanced at her but always with a smile.

  Truth was she was nervous and uncertain. In her scant experience, every church was different, and she didn’t want to make a mistake and raise doubt in Holt’s view about her faith. Which she didn’t have, but he didn’t know.

  She didn’t even know how to get faith.

  Shortly, a preacher came to the podium and read from the Bible. Again, the overhead screens displayed the words, but Holt opened his phone and followed along on some kind of app.

  The man was very serious about his religion. She heard him pray with Jacey every night and read to her from a Bible story book. He even talked about praying for his ranch and his animals, for the nation, and for his non-Christian friends.

  Would he pray for her if he knew she wasn’t a believer in much of anything except survival?

  Guilt pinched her. She almost wished she were a Christian.

  The preacher read the Christmas story from Luke, a story she’d heard before, but then his sermon took another direction. He spoke of mankind’s darkness and of the separation that exists between God and humans because of sin.

  “John 3:16 reminds us that God so loved the world that he sent his only begotten Son that whoever believes in Him will live eternally. We’ve heard that verse so many times, we sort of skim over it. But think about it. Jesus was the King of glory, Creator of the universe. He was the adored Son of God, perfect in every way, living in eternal joy, peace, and perfection.”

  The pastor spoke quietly, a throb in his voice.

  “Yet on that holy Christmas night while the world lay in darkness, Jesus, the mighty, righteous King, stepped down from His throne and gave up His glory to become a tiny, helpless human baby born into the poorest of circumstances.”

  The preacher stepped off the platform, his gaze scanning the crowd.

  AnnaLeigh felt as if he looked right through her, straight into the deception.

  “Why? Why would Jesus be willing to leave perfection to live in a world of darkness and sin? Knowing, as He did, that the end result would be torture and death?” His voice dropped lower. He pointed around the congregation. “Because God loves you and you and you and you that much.”

  AnnaLeigh felt a hitch beneath her ribs.

  “Maybe you think you’ve been too bad or made too many bad choices.”

  Oh, yes, she thought. Way too many bad choices.

  “You haven’t,” the preacher said. “According to Romans eight, neither height nor depth nor anything anywhere can separate us from God’s love. All you have to do is accept Him as Savior, repent, and receive Him into your heart and life. That’s it. Jesus did the hard part. He sacrificed everything so that our part is easy. This very day on this beautiful Christmas morning, you can step out of your darkness, your depression, your hurt and heartaches, and step into the marvelous light of Christ’s eternal love.

  A longing stirred in AnnaLeigh’s heart, a homesickness she couldn’t explain. Which was crazy, considering her doubts about God.

  Moisture filled her eyes. She blinked rapidly, hoping the tears would go away. She needed to sniff but didn’t want to draw attention to herself.

  She heard other sniffles in the quiet sanctuary as gentle music began to play.

  A sweet voiced woman sang about forgiveness and God’s arms being open wide like a Father reaching for his child.

  AnnaLeigh had a vision of Jacey running into Holt’s outstretched arms and the joyous way Holt received her, as if he’d die for her.

  The way Jesus had died for the world. AnnaLeigh sniffled. Holt shifted toward her, but she kept her head down, not wanting him to see how moved she was. He reached for her hand and squeezed.

  He was such a good man. She didn’t deserve him. Not at all.

  Suddenly, she recalled the pitiful prayer she’d prayed on her bathroom floor, her faithless cry for help. She hadn’t seen it before but now she did. God had heard, and he’d answered. The evidence sat beside her, holding her hand.

  And there was more evidence of God’s presence in her life, though she’d not noticed until now. He’d protected her from Alan, brought her to Refuge, and given her the safety and security of this new life with Holt and Jacey,
the first real family she’d ever known. There was no other explanation but God. Only He could have orchestrated the events that led her to the online cowboy and the good life she now lived.

  In wonder and revelation, AnnaLeigh touched a hand to her belly, the other new life, the one inside her-boy or girl, brother or sister to Jacey, child to Holt, baby she already loved with all her heart.

  How did she deserve any of this?

  She didn’t.

  Gratitude thickened her throat. Her breath shortened.

  Through one desperate prayer, she’d been given so much more than she could ever deserve.

  Because, she realized, God is real. Because He loved the world. Loved her. She could barely take it in. The magnitude of such love seemed incomprehensible, especially to one who’d known so little love, who’d never had a mother or a father.

  Could God want to be a Father to such as her?

  The minister spoke more, though AnnaLeigh caught only snatches. Her insides were a whirlwind, an aching storm yearning to set things right in her life. With God. With Holt. Could she ever?

  The stirring in her soul grew stronger. Eyes squeezed tight, she prayed, only this time she believed.

  In that moment, it was as if a giant spotlight turned on inside her head, her chest, her whole being. Light, pure and bright, flooded through her, bringing with it enormous relief and peace, a peace that made no sense at all, considering her situation.

  Children’s voices sang, “Sleep in heavenly peace.”

  For the first time in her life, the Christmas carol held meaning.

  When she opened her eyes, feeling thankful and free in a way she’d never imagined, a live nativity scene was being enacted on the platform. Behind the pretend Holy Family the children’s choir sang in the sweetest angel voices.

  AnnaLeigh scanned the stage in search of Jacey.

  Holt leaned close to whisper, “Second row, third from the right.”

  With a smile she couldn’t contain, AnnaLeigh watched her new daughter, all the while marveling at the newfound joy and faith bubbling in her soul.

  “You’re quiet tonight.” Fact of the business, AnnaLeigh had been quiet ever since this morning’s church service. After an excitement-weary Jacey had fallen asleep watching Rudolph, the house was practically silent. “Are you okay?”

  When AnnaLeigh didn’t respond, Holt closed the devotional he’d been studying and put it on the end table next to his chair. Not that it was much of an end table, but AnnaLeigh had spruced it up with lemon-scented polish, a red candle and a Christmassy wreath she’d gotten from Rachel’s Cards and Gifts.

  Beside the fireplace, the lopsided Christmas tree blinked red and green. A dozen gifts had mysteriously appeared beneath it.

  AnnaLeigh had made a lot of little changes since moving in with him. Nothing major, nothing that got on his nerves. Little touches here and there, woman touches that he would never have thought of. He liked what she’d done. The house always smelled good, sometimes with baked foods and always with scented candles or air fresheners, and the ranch seemed homey in a way it hadn’t before. Even his laundry smelled better.

  “Something on your mind?” He studied her as she hung stockings above the fireplace.

  Back turned, her hand paused against a stocking bearing his name. He’d never seen it before. Like the other two she’d hung, the stocking was red velvet decorated with white snowflakes, a fluffy white cuff, and monogrammed in a pretty font. She must have ordered them from somewhere, maybe in Vegas at Cowboy Christmas. Thoughtful. Sweet. Making Christmas special for Jacey. And him.

  Without turning to face him, she said, “About a million things.”

  Her voice sounded small, pensive.

  “Good things or bad things?” Did he really want to know?

  “Both.” She slid the stocking onto a hook and turned, clasping her hands in front of her like a nervous child. “Something happened in church today.”

  “In church?” He sat up straighter. “Did someone hurt your feelings? Did they say something negative about our quickie wedding?”

  He frowned, concerned, annoyed. He wouldn’t tolerate anyone disparaging his family. Their marriage was nobody’s business but his and AnnaLeigh’s.

  “Nothing like that. Everyone at church was friendly and welcoming. Some of the women I already knew from the shop, so being there was good. Really good.” She moved toward him, then changed her mind and went for the couch opposite his recliner. “Can I ask you something?”

  “Anything. Shoot.” He popped his recliner and sat all the way up. Sundays were the only days he let himself relax. Other than feeding the animals, Sundays were family time, for hanging out with his daughter. And now his wife.

  AnnaLeigh stared down at the hands gripped in her lap. Holt saw his ring there. They’d had it sized, and the white gold circle looked as if it had always belonged on her pale, slim finger.

  Holt found a certain satisfaction in that.

  AnnaLeigh’s eyes flashed upward and then right back down. “Have you been a Christian all your life?”

  Interesting question. “Most of it. I accepted Christ when I was a teenager. Didn’t always stay on the straight and narrow, but I knew where I belonged. Why?”

  She fiddled with the ring, slid it to her knuckle and then back again. “How did you know God was real and that He’d forgiven you?”

  Holt frowned, trying to gauge where she was coming from.

  “I’ve always believed in God. When you look around at the world, at nature, at the very gift of life, it’s hard not to. And the Bible says Jesus forgives when we ask. Simple as that.”

  “How did you…feel? Afterward, I mean.”

  “After what? After I gave my life to Christ?”

  She nodded. “Did you feel different? Changed?”

  Holt leaned forward, hands on his knees, and studied AnnaLeigh’s lowered face. She kept fiddling with her ring. Off and on, off and on.

  She was going somewhere with these questions. But where? So far in their short marriage, their theological discussions had been limited to Jacey’s nighttime questions about David and Goliath or Jonah and the big fish.

  “Well, I remember feeling relieved and peaceful, as if the world had stop spinning out of control.” He gave a short laugh. “Sometimes it still feels out of control, but then I think back to that moment when it seemed if Jesus Himself put his hand on my shoulder and said, ‘I’ve got you, son. I love you. Everything’s going to be okay now.’”

  “That’s it,” she said. “Love. Peace.” She raised her eyes to his. They were shining. “I never knew what that felt like until today.”

  He scrunched his eyebrows together. Did she mean that the way it sounded? “You never knew what?”

  “What believing in God really meant. This morning in church, when the pastor spoke and then they sang that song about the Father’s arms, I realized how much God has done for me, even when I didn’t know it was Him, even when I didn’t believe in Him. Then I prayed and something happened.” She touched the spot over her heart. “Something I’ve never felt before. I don’t even know how to explain it.”

  Holt blinked, his mind grappling. “What are you trying to say, AnnaLeigh?”

  “I should have told you, but you never asked, so I thought maybe religion wasn’t that big of a deal to you. Now I know better.”

  His jaw slackened as understanding dawned. “Are you saying you weren’t a believer until today?”

  She nodded, her voice a whisper. “Yes.”

  Shock, with a flash of anger, zipped through him. “You led me to believe we shared a common faith. It was part of the deal. A huge part.”

  “I know. I’m sorry. I was wrong to let you assume…”

  Disappointment spread like a virus through Holt’s veins. He’d married against his faith? Again? Worse, his new wife had deceived him. She hadn’t exactly lied, but she hadn’t been honest either.

  Faith in Jesus was right up there at the top of his ten
rules!

  Holt was tempted to tell her exactly what he thought of deceptive people, but AnnaLeigh looked so guilty and wretched, He couldn’t bring himself to make her feel worse.

  He could however, do the next best thing. He could get out of this house before he did or said something he’d regret. And he could pray.

  He grabbed his coat and went to the barn.

  After ten minutes of stewing and spewing and prayer while he brushed down a horse that didn’t need brushing, Holt leaned into the warm equine side.

  He and AnnaLeigh had never discussed their faith. His fault. He should have asked. He should been more of the spiritual leader. He’d been so focused on making sure Jacey’s prayers were answered that he forgot the most important aspect of any marriage.

  Slowly, he moved beyond his initial dismay to thoughts of what she’d told him. She’d given her heart to Christ this morning. She hadn’t been a believer before, but she was now.

  He slapped his forehead. The gentle horse turned his head to stare with soft, non-judgmental eyes.

  Non-judgmental. This wasn’t about him or his wounded ego. Or even about his ten rules.

  He clapped his hat tight onto his hard head, turned the horse out, and returned to the ranch house.

  AnnaLeigh was nowhere to be seen.

  He went to her bedroom door and knocked. “Can we talk?”

  She opened the door. Her eyes were red.

  “I’m sorry.” Without another thought, he tugged her into his arms as he would have Jacey. “I overreacted when I should have been thrilled instead.”

  “Really?” The word tickled against his chest. He kind of liked it.

  “I let my ego get in the way for a minute.”

  “I’m the one who’s sorry. I shouldn’t have let you assume. I should have been upfront. There’s so much about my past—”

  He interrupted with a soft, “Shh. Your past is gone, AnnaLeigh. Washed away in a sea of forgetfulness. God doesn’t look back, only forward.”