This Much Is True

by Anna Albo

  I wanted to slam my head against the table. She was so negative. “No, I don’t. I don’t have an agenda. I don’t want to ruin your life. I want to know, that’s all.”

  “I’ll tell you if you answer my questions first.”

  “Depends what they are.”

  She nodded. “How did you get it?”

  “I asked Zach to show it to me, then I took it.”

  “And he gave it to you? Just like that?”

  “I took it.”

  The edges of her lips ticked up, like she’d admired what I’d done. “And he let you have it? He didn’t put up a fight?”

  “I took it,” I repeated again.

  Bianca pondered something for a moment. “He must really trust you to let you have it. Was he in it?”

  Her question caught me off guard. “What do you mean?”

  “He told me he edited himself out.”

  I swallowed hard. Was there more to the video than I knew about? “What would he have edited out?”

  I didn’t want to know and her answer scared me to death. My stomach was doing somersaults and I thought I might throw up.

  “He told me he took himself out of the video.”

  I still didn’t have a definitive answer. “Bianca, did he . . . was he one of the guys you . . . you know.”

  I could see the wheels turning in her head. She could tell me anything, and how would I know if she was lying or not? Would she even have the decency to tell me the truth?

  She cleared her throat. “He took the video. I didn’t give him a blowjob, if that’s what you’re wondering. He’s not that stupid. He made sure he didn’t appear in the video. A future politician can’t be seen in a video like that.”

  I was relieved and grossed out at the same time. “We’re never going to be friends, and I don’t like you and you’ll never like me, but I have to know why you did it, why you let them do that to you, why you let them record it.”

  “Because I was an idiot. Do you think I’m the only girl who did it? There’s lots of us, but only I was stupid enough to let them record it. I wanted acceptance and I wanted to be liked. College life was different from high school. I had to fight my way to the top all over again. It’s different with guys, especially ones like Zach. He’s god-like. People follow him willingly. I didn’t have that so I knew I had to do whatever it took. I was a freshman and essentially a nobody. Zach walked into Western and he was embraced like the cool kid all over again. It wasn’t fair.”

  “Why would you care about all this? Why is it important?”

  “It just is.”

  I leaned in closer to her. “Did they hurt you?”

  “I’m trying to forget about it, if you don’t mind.”

  “You didn’t like it.”

  Her eyes welled up with tears. The mighty Bianca Smythe was showing cracks and I felt sorry for her. “Of course I didn’t like it, but I did it. I couldn’t wimp out. I didn’t know Zach was going to be there. Having him there made it worse because I knew him and we had some of the same friends. At least I didn’t know who the other guys were.”

  “You could go after them,” I said, knowing all too well that she could go after Zach too and that frightened the hell out of me.

  “I’m not doing that. I one hundred percent knew what I was getting into. Before he started recording it, Zach even asked me if I wanted to back out. He was the only one who did. The other guys were assholes.”

  I grabbed my purse and pulled out the flash drive I had hidden away in a side pocket. “If I give you this, are you going to get Zach into trouble?”

  She looked at the flash drive, then to me. “You’re considering giving it to me?”

  The expression on her face lightened, like she didn’t have to be such a hard-ass for once.

  “On one condition. You don’t go after Zach.”

  She bit down on her quivering lip. “Why would you do this for me?”

  “It’s the last thing between us. And I hate this video and I hate that it could hurt you or Zach. It’s an albatross around all our necks.”

  “And how do you know that you can trust me?”

  I shrugged. “I guess it’s a risk. I’m not sure you want this video to get out.”

  “Uh, no!”

  “And if you take it and run, I’ll chase you down and grab it back. I know I’m faster than you.”

  She sort of smiled and I kind of smiled back even though I was completely serious.

  “So Zach is safe?” I said.

  “Yes.”

  I held out my hand and she grasped onto the flash drive and my first thought was that she’d jump up and run with it. But in one swift action she dropped it on the floor and stomped on it with the heel of her two-inch boot. It shattered into a few pieces, but that didn’t satisfy her. She got up and smashed it like a woman possessed. By the time she was finished, she was out of breath and the flash drive was in tiny pieces. She scooped them up and put them on the table in a little pile.

  “Are you finished with that coffee?” she asked.

  “Yes. It’s awful.”

  She dumped the pieces into my half-full cup and smiled.

  “There. All gone. No one will ever see it again.”

  “Then it’s over.”

  “It’s strange, isn’t it? You and I don’t have to see each other ever again.”

  “Yeah, and I’m not sad about it at all,” I said, trying not to laugh.

  Bianca cracked an all-out smile. “I can see why Zach likes you so much. It’s the same reason Jake watched out for you. You’re just too sweet and girl-next-door. You haven’t been corrupted so they want to protect you. That’s what drove me so crazy. Jake was always keeping an eye out for you and I hated that you had any of his attention. I made him be such a jerk to you and I feel a little bad about that, but just a little.”

  “I wasn’t your competition. Jake loved you.”

  “He loved you too, just differently.”

  “I know, like a little sister.”

  “I guess I couldn’t deal with even that.”

  “Without you, and your horrible texts with Jake, I wouldn’t have hooked up with Zach.”

  “Look at me, a matchmaker,” she said with a dramatic eye roll. “He’d do anything for you, so consider yourself lucky. Not many of us get that and when we do, we screw it up.”

  “We aren’t friends now, are we?”

  Bianca snorted a laugh. “Never.”

  “Right. Well, I have to get to my next class.” I grabbed my bag and the cup of coffee I planned on dumping in the nearest garbage. I was about to head off, but stopped. “You know, I saw Jake over the Christmas break. He seemed to miss you. I thought you should know.”

  She smiled sheepishly. “Thanks. And I still hate you.”

  “I hate you too.”

  CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE

  Emma

  I tried to talk to Zach but he kept his distance. Most nights he was out with the guys and between teaching and Julian’s, we rarely saw each other. I hated the way things were. I’d let it go on for far too long and didn’t know how to fix it anymore. At least I had the video out of the way, done and destroyed. I wanted to tell Zach, but how could I bring it up in conversation? Hey, remember the video? Well, guess what I did?

  Yeah, not going to happen.

  The weekend rolled around and Wendy was due first thing Saturday morning. Zach was up early and packing for an ice fishing trip with Brett and a few of their friends. It was a bitterly cold day and I couldn’t believe they were going to tough it out, but they appeared determined. He said nothing to me as he rummaged through his dresser drawers looking for wool socks. I pointed them out and he took them without a word.

  “Are you coming back tonight?” I asked. “Wendy is coming for dinner. And Dad is in town doing deliveries. Even Grandpa said he’d drive up after he closes the shop. It’ll be nice having everyone here.”

  “We’ll see,” he said absently.

  He took a few
more things and left the bedroom. I sat on the bed and waited for him to leave. It was no use saying goodbye. When he was gone, I got ready for my afternoon with Wendy. She was due anytime. We were going for lunch then visiting as many bridal boutiques it took until we found the perfect dress.

  “You’ll call me when you’re on your way home,” Genie said as I poured myself coffee and waited for Wendy.

  “Why? What’s the big deal?”

  “I thought I’d do something special, but I need an hour lead time.”

  “You aren’t going to try and cook, are you?”

  “Better than that. Just give me at least an hour’s notice.”

  “Okay.”

  “You won’t forget, right?”

  “I won’t forget.”

  Something was weird about Genie. She seemed nervous and fidgety. She was always so in control. She must have had something big planned and that got me wondering. I hoped that whatever it was, it didn’t include Zach. We had to work it out on our own with as little interference as possible.

  Wendy was right on time and we set off on our shopping day. The first two boutiques were busts but the third one held some promise. Wendy instantly connected with the owner who seemed to know exactly what Wendy wanted. She picked out a simple egg-shell-colored sundress. It seemed strange seeing her in a sundress in the middle of winter.

  “Joanne, we need to find something for my future granddaughter. She’s going to be my bridesmaid. We’ll also need something matching for my sister who’ll be my maid of honor.”

  Joanne, the shop owner, brought out a few complementary sundresses with various fun and colorful designs.

  “The great thing is, this dress works for a woman of any age or size,” she said.

  “I have my sister’s measurements,” Wendy said. “Emma, why don’t you try on a few dresses?”

  An hour later I had my perfect dress. It was pastel pink with blue, yellow and red flowers. Nothing too over the top, but so pretty I would covet it forever.

  “Let’s get some lunch,” Wendy suggested. “Shopping makes me hungry.”

  We picked a pizza joint and ordered the cheesiest, meatiest pizza on the menu. Wendy was probably the only person I knew who liked coffee with her pizza. She cradled the steaming cup while we waited for our food.

  “It’s a cold one, but it’s January. What can I expect?” Wendy said, joking about the weather.

  “Zach went ice fishing with a few friends if you can believe that. I think he’s nuts.”

  “How are things going with Zach?”

  I played with my napkin, tearing bits of it up. I’d need to ask for another. “Not great. We had a fight earlier this week. He thinks something is going on with the guy from my tennis club. As if.”

  “Have you talked to him about the video?”

  “We don’t talk much.”

  “I don’t want to stick my nose in, but you need to figure out what you want and if he’s going to be part of that. What you’re doing now isn’t healthy and it might make things worse.”

  “I know. But I think Bianca and I are cool now. I met with her and gave her the flash drive with the video on it.”

  Wendy’s eyes opened wide. “You did. Are you sure that’s a good idea?”

  “She destroyed it. It’s gone forever.”

  Wendy nodded. “That’s good. It’s over with. Have you told Zach?”

  “I haven’t yet. I’m not sure what he’ll say or think when I tell him. I wonder if he’ll get mad. It seems like everything sets him off right now.”

  “Everyone is probably under a lot of stress. It will be okay.”

  “I know. I hope that if he and I talk, we can work things out.”

  “How about your mother? Any news there?” Wendy asked when our pizza arrived.

  “We’ve been emailing back and forth, but I haven’t seen her since before Christmas.”

  “Your dad was very happy about all that.”

  “I figured.” I took a bite of my pizza slice and thought of something Grandpa said. “Do you know anything about this mystery woman Grandpa thinks Dad is dating?”

  “No, but are you thinking it’s Meredith?”

  “No. She seems very happy with her husband. But I do want Dad to meet someone. I want him to be happy.”

  “Worry about yourself first, then you can find your dad a nice lady.”

  Stuffed full of pizza, we hit a few grocery stores. I wanted to plan a nice dinner. It wasn’t often that we got to entertain at the apartment, and with Grandpa driving in and Dad meeting us, only Zach would be missing. Did that make me sad? Yes, but I couldn’t make him show up.

  “I can’t even look at food,” Wendy said as we went up and down the aisles with our shopping cart.

  “Isn’t it the best time to shop for groceries? When you’re not hungry?” I said.

  “I think so. For the first time in my life, I’m not throwing a bag of cookies in the cart.”

  We finished up our shopping at that spot, and headed for our last one. I sent Zach a text. I had nothing to lose.

  Me: I really, really, really want you to come for dinner with us. Please?

  I then sent Dad and Grandpa a text to tell them to be at the apartment by six for dinner. For Christmas, Wendy had got Grandpa a smartphone which meant his flip phone went to cellphone heaven. Ever since, she’d been giving him a crash course on how to use it, and he’d mastered text messaging.

  Grandpa: Am closing up the shop shortly. Should be at your place in about an hour.

  No reply from Zach or Dad.

  Wendy and I made the last stop at a specialty grocery store I liked to frequent. I needed Spanish saffron for my paella.

  “So many neat things here,” Wendy said, wandering the aisles. “I didn’t think you could buy fifteen-dollar jam. Is it made of gold?”

  “Maybe making a limoncello jam is expensive?” I said, taking a glance at the label.

  “It sounds interesting. I think I’m going to buy it.”

  We spent forty minutes there. I was anxious to leave, worried my organic mixed greens would be frozen in the car if we took any longer. I took a quick look at them when we got to the car and everything looked intact. We were on our way home and I checked my phone again. Still nothing from Zach or Dad.

  Wendy helped me with the bags while I carried my dress. We entered the apartment and a part of me wished I’d find Zach sitting on the sofa, watching college football and smiling at us. The apartment was quiet.

  Wendy dropped the grocery bags on the kitchen table while I hung my dress in my room. I passed Genie’s closed door and realized I’d forgotten to call her. She came bursting out of her room as I was heading back to the kitchen. Blotches of red covered her face and her brown eyes were opened wide.

  “Hey, you were supposed to call me,” she said, her voice taking on a high pitch.

  “Sorry, I forgot.”

  “You have to go. I have a surprise and you can’t be here for it.”

  “Genie, what’s the big deal?”

  “I didn’t get a chance to pick up the thing I was getting,” she said, pushing me towards the front door. “I’ll run out now, but you can’t be here when I get back. It will ruin the surprise.”

  Wendy came out of the kitchen and Genie’s eyes grew even wider. “Hi, Genie,” Wendy said.

  “Oh, hi. Uh, you’re both here. All right, well, there’s that coffee shop down the street. You can go there and Wendy will keep you company. I’ll be back in fifteen minutes.”

  I groaned. “Genie, I have to make dinner. I told everyone six o’clock. That gives me a little over an hour. I’m not leaving again.”

  “I’ll pick it up. Where is it?” Wendy asked.

  Genie was fidgeting now. “I ordered something from Grier’s Bakery.”

  “Give me the address and I’ll pick it up,” Wendy said, putting her coat back on. “I’ll make sure Emma doesn’t see it.”

  Genie bit down on her lower lip. “Okay,” she said
reluctantly. “When you’re on your way back, let me know. That way Emma can leave while you’re bringing it up.”

  Wendy gave her head a slight shake before grabbing her purse and leaving.

  “What was that?” I asked when Wendy was gone.

  “I wanted to do something nice. You’ll leave when Wendy gets back?”

  “Yes, fine,” I said. “You seem pretty adamant about it. I’ll be in the kitchen if you need me. I have food to make.”

  I grabbed my phone and still no text from either Dad or Zach. While Zach didn’t surprise me, not hearing from Dad did worry me. He usually always responded within a few minutes, maybe a half-hour, but it had been too long. This time I decided to call.

  I pulled vegetables out from the fridge while I waited for him to answer. And that’s when I heard it: Dad’s familiar ring tone chiming in our apartment.

  CHAPTER FORTY

  Emma

  I left the kitchen and followed the sound down the hallway when it abruptly stopped. I heard scrambling coming from behind Genie’s bedroom door. The air deflated from my lungs and my phone slipped from my hand. I grabbed hold of Genie’s doorknob and swung open the door. The first person I saw was Dad, sitting on the edge of Genie’s bed, his dress shirt untucked, his phone in hand, trying to silence it. Genie was in the corner, her eyes opened so wide I thought they’d pop out of her head.

  “Emma, I’m sorry,” she said. “Nothing happened. I promise!”

  I couldn’t breathe. It was like someone had punched me so hard in the gut that I was suffocating.

  “Emma, let me explain,” Dad said, rising.

  The room was shrinking around me. “No, no, no,” I said, stepping back and out the door.

  Dad came towards me, but I slammed the door shut and bolted to my bedroom. I shut that door, ran for the bathroom and locked myself inside. I barely made it to the toilet before throwing up. Genie and Dad. No. I kept picturing them together, in our apartment, in the bed I used to sleep in. Genie and Dad! Having sex? My friend. My dad!

  I sat on the cold tile floor, clutching my stomach. Tears streaming down my face. My best friend and my dad. Under my nose. For how long?

  “Emma, please talk to me,” Dad said through the door.