by Jacy Braegan
He leans back in his chair to stare at me. His foot brushes mine under the table as he stretches out his long legs. I’ve got a childish urge to kick him, but I reign it in. No sense in riling “the beast” before what I need to say rocks his world, and not in a good way. My words draw a smile to his face before he reaches out to take my hand, or at least he tries to. His smile falters as I draw my hand down to my lap. His touch now makes my skin crawl. He clears his throat. “It won’t take long. We have a lot of history and we’ll build on that. We always did well with each other.”
I straighten in my chair at his words before meeting his gaze directly as a sigh falls between us. “It’s not happening, Blake. We didn’t just have a separation. You left me. Our story ended there. There’s no future for us.”
Anger flares in his own grey eyes as he sits up. His mouth opens, but more words slip from me before he can get a single syllable out. “No, you no longer control me, Blake. For the first time ever, you will listen to what I want and what I need. For the record, that isn’t you.”
Before I can say anything else, he leans toward me, speaking through gritted teeth, “Are you rejecting me, Jayson Martin?”
Mimicking his movement, I lean forward to make sure he doesn’t miss the next words from my mouth. He must understand. “Yes. Leaving me at the altar was the best thing you could’ve ever done. You set me free to find my own way and I’ve done that. You showed me that what we had wasn’t real. It was control and dominance for you. I’m happy with who I’ve become and you’re no longer a part of that life. Go find someone else to play with, Blake, because it will never be me again.”
Blake sputters at my words before sitting back in shocked silence. His steely gaze stares at me like I have two heads. No doubt my words shock him with how forward and commanding I’m being. Finally, I understand what people mean when they say you must stand up to the bullies in your life or they will run roughshod all over you. “Well, I can see you won’t be any fun anymore.”
My laugh comes out harsh at his words, making me shake my head. Pushing my chair back, I stand, looking down at him. “Have a great life, Blake, if you can. Just be sure to stay away from me and lose my number.”
He isn’t given a chance to respond as I walk straight out of that restaurant with my head held high. As I sink into the driver’s seat of my car, a long, relieved breath fills the silence. Thank God, that’s over. Knowing Aidan is out for dinner with friends, I head home to wait for his call.
Chapter 23
Aidan
Blake’s return to Jayson’s life has me very unhappy. If I had it my way, I would hunt that asshole down and make him regret ever having found his way into Jayson’s affections and life. I’m still having trouble believing my boyfriend is going out to meet another guy without me, but I have to trust him. Our past can have no bearing on our present and our future. I have to keep remembering that.
After constantly having to brace myself against the fear I’m going to lose him, I throw myself into extra hours of work that afternoon before Clay comes to drag me out of my cave. Having been there in the past, he knew where my head was, so he was taking me out for dinner to take my mind off everything that was going on. He picked Italian tonight, which makes me immensely grateful. We’re at a local spot that has bad ass Italian food. We’d just placed an order for an appetizer to share when a chair pulls out from our table and someone sits down.
Looking up, the guy whose Blake’s best friend is sitting down at our table. On the inside, a frown comes as my dislike for the man just by who he’s friends with rears its head momentarily. Shoving down my feelings, I try to give Russell a smile. “I didn’t know you were joining us tonight.”
Russell lifts a hand to flag down a waitress and orders a bottle of wine. Now, after spending time with Jayson, and possibly seeing him in a couple of hours, there’s no way I’ll be drinking. Russell has a grin on his face like that cat that ate the canary. He’s always rubbed me the wrong way, and I’m still not a fan of his now. “Let’s celebrate!”
Clay meets my gaze with confusion before we both look back at Russell. Clay beats me to ask, “What are we celebrating?”
We wait expectantly as the server brings the wine and pours it into three glasses. Russell grabs his and waves to our glasses. We both pick up our glasses, even though not a sip will pass my lips. With that grin still on his lips, he holds his glass out. “To Blake and Jayson getting back together.”
It takes every ounce of my willpower to keep from both dropping that glass and from keeping the gasp and the denials from launching out of my throat. He must have the wrong information. Jayson made me a promise. Of course, that inner voice of ultimate fear speaks inside my head. He hasn’t had the best track record with promises to you.
Clay’s gaze tracks toward me out of the side of his eye as he clinks his glass to mine and then Russell’s. My best friend asks the question I can’t get to emerge from my lips while sitting there in shocked silence. “When’d they get back together?”
I stare at Russell as he makes us wait as he drains his glass of wine so he can pour himself more. He chuckles and leans forward slightly toward us. “Just tonight. They went out for dinner and Blake talked him into it.”
My heart dives in my chest as I fall into that deep, dark chasm I’d spent so many years locked in. No… it can’t be. He fucking promised me. There’s only a few minutes to get out of there before I completely lose my shit. I set the glass in my hand down before looking over at Clay. “I forgot there’s something I have to do tonight. I’ve got to run.”
Clay pauses taking a sip of his wine before he sets it down to reach out and grab my forearm as my chair pushes back. I pause in my movements to look at him. “Are you sure you aren’t misunderstanding?”
Russell looks at the two of us in confusion, but I give nothing away of the desolation and pain that’s filling my soul. Meeting Clay’s eyes, I shake my head. “I doubt it. I’ll be home before you get there, I promise.”
He stares at me before slowly nodding his head. He got my coded message I’d still be alive when he got home, and I wasn’t thinking anything stupid. He releases my arm, allowing me to stand. As much as I hate it, I reach a hand out for Russell to shake, forcing words I don’t want to speak. “Sorry to cut and run, but duty calls. Enjoy your celebration.”
Like hell I want him to enjoy it. That fucker can take a running jump off a tall cliff for all I care at the moment. I don’t want news of my complete loss of control to get back to Blake or Jayson later though. Blake would probably laugh at it. I no longer know what Jayson would do. When I sat down at that table, life was good, and I had a great boyfriend. I’m leaving without either.
* * *
Losing myself in more work when I got home from the restaurant hadn’t worked. My mood had gone from desolation and pain to utter rage. Pacing my room while ranting in my head, I slam my fist into the wall, putting a dent into the drywall. Rage blurs the pain in my hand allowing me to ignore that something is likely broken. There’s no stopping the words from spilling out of my throat at the top of my lungs. “Goddamn mother fucker. How could he do this, again? Another promise broken, just like that.”
I hadn’t heard Clay enter the house, but I sure as hell saw him burst into my room. His surprised gaze goes from me to the abused wall behind me. “Oh, Aidan.”
He approaches me to grab my hand. I wince as the pain fills me. His appearance leeches the anger from me, letting sadness enter my soul once again. “I lost him, Clay.”
He sighs softly and grabs my good hand to lead me out of the house. “We’re going to the emergency room to have them look at that hand.”
He ignores my statement, leaving me to wonder how badly he’s wanting to shove ’I told you so’ into my face. I deserve it. I should’ve known better than to go down this road again. Jayson showed me years ago that I can’t trust him. After all, leopards can’t change their spots, right? Apparently, people can’t change either.
Clay leads me like a lost, little waif and puts me into the passenger seat of his car. The tears won’t hold back any longer and start to roll down my cheeks. I draw in a breath before shoving my face into my hands, ignoring the physical pain of my injured hand. The past showed that holding in all that emotion would become too much for me to deal with and make me break down completely. Last time my pain was this bad, they found me on the edge of bridge looking death in the face. There’s no way I can let that happen again. I’m no longer that boy.
Clay drives in silence and leaves me to my tears. By now, he knows the process I must go through to regain control of myself. Only this time, there’s no guarantee I’ll be able to recover as quickly. We pull into the emergency room lot when it hits me and makes me gasp out loud. I’m still in love with that man, even after all these years. Fuck, I’m totally screwed.
Clay quickly parks and looks over at me sharply. “What happened? Pain increase?”
The sudden realization I’ll likely be forever alone in unrequited love overrides the physical pain I’m in. I turn stricken eyes from my hands to Clay, and I choke out with a shake of my head. “I’m in love with him.”
Clay reaches out to pull me into him in a tight hug over the console of the car. It’s awkward, but it doesn’t matter as I bawl into his shoulder, soaking his shirt. His hands rub my back as he lets me cry more before slowly drawing back to take hold of both of my cheeks. “Let’s see the doctor. After that, we’ll go get loads of chocolate ice cream and cry all night in a fat fest, okay?”
With a sniffle, I try to hold more tears from coming. He brushes the remainders from my face as he nods at me. “Come on, sweets. Let’s get you out of the car.”
He gets out of the car and comes around to help me out, wrapping his arm around my waist. Leaning against him in grateful support, we enter the hospital. I forgot my phone at home, but it doesn’t matter. There’s no one to talk to now, anyway.
* * *
A new day dawns as Clay brings me back home. I’d gotten very lucky and my x-rays had come back with nothing broken from radiology. The ER had been very busy for a Friday night, so it’d taken the entire night for them to get through with me. They gave me some mild painkillers and wrapped my wrist in a brace. We didn’t stop for ice cream like Clay had suggested the night before. We’re both too exhausted to care. We went straight home and to bed.
My ringing phone wakes me up a few hours later. Rolling over, I snatch the rude device from its cord to see Jayson’s smiling face looking at me from the screen. In that moment between sleep and consciousness, it causes a warm smile to come to my face. Just as I’m about to swipe my finger across the screen to answer the call, pain lodges in my heart as the night before slams into me. I silence the ringing before flopping back down on the bed. Not wanting to wake Clay, I cover my face with my pillow to muffle my scream of frustration and pain.
A ding from my phone indicates a new voicemail. Tossing the pillow to the side and sitting up, my eyes drift once more to my phone There’d be no more sleep for me now. Picking up my phone, ten missed calls and just as many voicemails, plus several text messages greet me, all from Jayson. I mark them all read without listening or looking at them. I can’t deal with him right now. It’s still too painful. He made his choice and I’m obviously not it. Knowing Jayson will probably come looking for me here, there’s only one thing left to do.
Getting out of bed and throwing on some clothes, I pack a bag while on autopilot. I add my work gear, including my spare laptop, to a second bag. I jot out a note to Clay letting him know where I’m headed and why. Leaving it in the kitchen, I head out to my Jeep. Within ten minutes of my decision to leave, I’m heading out of the city.
Chapter 24
Jayson
I’d slept like shit. Worries filled my mind and made me spend most of the night pacing. I was so fucking worried that something had happened to Aidan, so I’d gone by the house, but no one had answered the door. His Jeep had been in the drive, so I assumed he’d still been out with Clay. My worry built more and more as no word ever came from him. I passed out in exhaustion on my couch waiting to hear from him.
Morning dawns with the sun streaming through my curtains to wake me. Scrambling for my phone and finding it nearly dead, I thank every deity I can think of that it hadn’t died before seeing that Aidan still hadn’t responded. A frown crosses my face as I plug the phone in to call him. Yet again, my call goes unanswered. A sigh escapes me as I wait to leave yet another voicemail. “Aidan, it’s Jayson. I don’t know how many times I’ve called, but please call me back? I’m scared something has happened to you. Please, babe… call me.”
Hanging up after leaving that voicemail finds me frustrated as all get out. This is such fucking bullshit. He made me promise that I would come home to him, and then his ass isn’t available? Bouncing between being mad and being extremely worried, I didn’t think Aidan would have done that. Sure, I’d angered him for what I’d done in the past, but we were kids for Pete’s sake. Surely, I’m not still paying for that.
Flipping through my contacts, I’m hoping against hope I saved Clay’s number in my phone. Not seeing the man’s name in the list almost makes me throw my phone at the wall in utter frustration. Fuck waiting here. I’m going back to their house. If they aren’t home, I’ll fucking wait there till they get home.
I don’t bother changing out of my t-shirt and jeans. Changing is time I don’t want to spend. Slipping my feet into a pair of flip-flops, I grab my wallet and keys. On the way out the door, I snag my phone to charge it in the car. He can’t avoid me forever. I won’t fucking let him.
* * *
Standing there banging on the door, I don’t let up. The cars in the driveway had switched from Aidan’s to Clay’s, leaving me to surmise that the man is ignoring me. That severely pisses me off. Muttered cursing comes through the door right before it unlocks and someone yanks it open. A sleep-tousled Clay stares at me with tired eyes. It only takes moments before those eyes narrow at me in what looks like anger. It throws me off guard and keeps me quiet as he barks out, “And what the fuck do you want?”
The vehemence in his voice almost has me physically staggering back away from him. What the ever-loving hell is his problem? With a frown, I tilt my head at Clay. I’ve no doubt that my gaze reflects my total confusion. “It’s not that early in the morning to be so rude, Clay. I’m looking for Aidan. Where is he? He isn’t answering my calls or texts.”
Clay’s eyes dart to the driveway where it’s obvious that the Jeep isn’t there. His eyes widen just a hair before he slams the door in my face. Shock holds me there at the rudeness Clay exhibits. Clay always seems so easygoing, so I’m completely lost to what’s going on. Am I dreaming? Lost in the twilight zone?
Before my thoughts can take me on a ride, the door opens once again to reveal Clay holding a folded note in his hands. He looks at me a moment before speaking. I’m hoping he’s about to tell me where Aidan’s gone, but find myself mistaken. “Aidan’s gone out of town, and you won’t know where. You don’t get to torment him anymore. So just return to your car and never come back.”
Clay moves to shut the door in my face again, but this time, I stick my foot against the bottom of the door to stop it. I must be in the twilight zone because I don’t understand a damn thing going on at this point. I stare at Clay. “What the hell, Clay? That man made me promise to come home to him and now he’s not here? That’s such fucking bullshit!”
His eyes narrow at me as he leans forward. For a moment, I’m sure he’s going to bare his teeth like a rabid dog, but he speaks in a low tone instead. “Go back to Blake since that’s who you fucking chose. I won’t allow you to toy with Aidan’s feelings again.”
I chose Blake? That’s what Aidan had told him? Why would he do that? Dammit, none of this makes any sense. Fuck this. I’m getting answers and I’m getting them right now. Clay will tell me everything I’ve apparently missed since Aidan and I parted yesterda
y afternoon. Lifting my hands to shove open the door, I march my ass right into their living room. With my arms crossing over my chest, I turn to face Clay with a fire raging in my eyes. “Explain, Clay. Leave nothing out since Aidan came home yesterday. Something isn’t fucking adding up and I want it straight.”
Clay looks between me and the open door in surprise. Apparently, my new backbone shocks him. Wavering, he sighs and shuts the door muttering something about being too old for this shit, or something to that effect. He follows me into the living room and mirrors my pose before opening his mouth to give me a piece of his mind. “Fine, you want this straight? I’ll give it to you straight. That man came home so confident in his boyfriend’s loyalty to him he let said boyfriend go out to meet his ex-fiancé for dinner.”
As he pauses in his spiel, I go to question him more. He holds up a finger to stop my words. “My best friend spends time with me while he waits for his ‘loyal’ boyfriend to return home. During our dinner, he finds out that this ‘loyal’ boyfriend isn’t so fucking loyal after all.”
His arms unfold to use air quotes with his fingers whenever he speaks the word loyal about me which is wearing on my nerves. I don’t try interrupting again as I’m waiting to hear how I’m not so loyal. “While we’re waiting on our food, ex-fiancé’s friend shows up to join us and tells us all about how the two got back together during their dinner.”
His pursing lips let me know not only is he angry, but that he’s done spilling his story. Feeling one hundred percent blindsided, I sink to my ass on the couch. Staring at Clay in silent disbelief, I sputter, “Wait... what? Russell? He told Aidan that Blake and I got back together? Is that what you’re saying?”
He nods his head at me and damn near growls his response, “Yes, he did. I can’t believe you fucking did that to him again, Jayson.”