by Abbi Glines
I stopped and looked back at him. Had I just heard him correctly? “Rush?” I asked, almost afraid I’d hallucinated that comment.
Woods closed his door and walked over to stand in front of his desk. He leaned back against the expensive looking shiny wood and crossed his arms over his chest. The smile he’d had when I arrived was gone. He looked more concerned now. “Yes, Rush. I know that the truth came out. Jace has told me some of it. What he knows at least. But then I already knew who you were. Or who Rush and Nan thought you were. I warned you he’d choose her. He was already choosing her when I gave you that warning. Do you really want to come back to all of this? Is Alabama that bad?
No. Alabama wasn’t that bad. Being a single pregnant nineteen year old with no family was bad though. That however was not something I was going to share with Woods. “Coming back here isn’t exactly easy. Seeing… them, won’t be easy either. But I need to figure out what I’m going to do. Where I’m going to go. There is nothing left for me in Alabama. I can’t stay there and pretend that there is. It’s time I found a new life. And Bethy is the only friend I have. My options for places to go are a little limited.”
Woods eyebrows shot up. “Ouch. What am I? Here I thought we were friends.”
Smiling, I walked over and stood behind the chair across from him. “We are but well… not close friends.”
“Not because I didn’t try my damnedest.”
A small laugh bubbled up and Woods grinned. “That’s nice to hear. I missed it.”
Maybe coming back wouldn’t be so hard.
“You can have your job. It’s yours. I’ve had shit for cart girls and Jimmy is still sulking. He doesn’t play well with the other servers. He misses you too.”
“Thank you,” I replied. “I appreciate it. I want to be honest with you though. In four months, I intend to leave. I can’t stay here forever. I’ve…”
“You have a life to get to. Yeah, I heard you. Rosemary isn’t where you intend to put down your roots. I got it. For whatever length of time, you got the job.”
Rush
I knocked once before opening the door to Nan’s condo and walking in. Her car was parked outside. I knew she was here. I just wanted to make sure she knew I was here. I’d made the mistake once of not knocking and had seen my little sister straddling a guy’s lap.I had wanted to pour bleach in my eyes and brain after that experience.
“Nan, it’s me. We need to talk.” I called out then closed the door behind me. I stepped into the living room and the sound of more than one hushed voice and footsteps coming from the master bedroom almost made me turn around and leave. But I wasn’t going to. This was more important. Her sleepover guest needed to go on home now anyway. It was after eleven.
Her bedroom door opened and closed. Interesting. Whoever was here was staying. We’d need to step outside on the balcony to talk. I wasn’t discussing Blaire in front of anyone else. I probably knew the guy in that room. It would be the only reason she would keep him hidden in there.
“Ever heard of calling before you come over?” Nan snapped as she walked into the living room dressed in a short silk wrap. She looked more and more like our mother the older she got.
“It’s almost lunch, Nan. You can’t keep the man in bed all day,” I replied and opened the doors that led out onto the balcony overlooking the gulf. “I need to talk to you and I don’t want to do it where your bedroom buddy can hear us.”
Nan rolled her eyes and stepped outside. “I find it odd that I’ve been trying to get you to talk to me for weeks and now that you want to talk you come barging over like I have no life. At least I call you first.” She was starting to sound like our mother too.
“I own this condo, Nan. I can come in any damn time I want to,” I reminded her. She would be leaving here in mid August to head back to her sorority house and her still undecided major. College was a social function for her. She knew I’d pay her bills and tuition. I’d always taken care of everything for her.
“Snarky much. What is this about? I haven’t had my coffee yet.” She also wasn’t afraid of me. I didn’t want her to be but it was time she grew up. I wasn’t going to let her send Blaire running. In a month, Nan would be gone. Normally I would be too. Not this year. I’d be keeping my residence at Rosemary. Mother would have to pick another location. She wasn’t going to have this house free for the rest of the year.
“Blaire is back,” I told her bluntly. I’d had time to see things from another angle. I didn’t feel like Nan was the victim in this any longer. As a child she was but then so was Blaire. Nan tensed as her eyes flashed with the hate that belonged at her father’s feet instead of on Blaire. “Don’t say anything. Let me speak first or I’ll go escort your sleepover friend from my condo. I hold the power here Nan. Our mother has nothing. I support you both. I’ve never asked you for anything. Ever. But right now I’m going to ask… no, I’m going to demand you listen to me and you follow my terms.”
Nan’s anger had faded and now the spoiled brat was there looking back at me. She didn’t like being told what to do. I couldn’t blame my mother for her behavior, not entirely. I did this too. Overcompensation had ruined Nan.
“I hate her,” she seethed.
“I said to listen to me. Don’t assume I’m bluffing Nan. Because this time you’ve fucked with something I care about. This affects me, so listen and shut the hell up.”
Her eyes went round from shock. I was sure I’d never spoken to her that way. I was even a little surprised myself. Hearing the hate in her voice directed at Blaire had set me off.
“Blaire is staying with Bethy. Woods has given Blaire her job back. She has nothing in Alabama. She has no one. The father the two of you share is worthless. To her he might as well be dead. She’s back to find out where she fits and what to do next. She was doing that before but when the truth came out it sent her world crumbling so she ran. It’s a fucking miracle she’s back here. I want her back here, Nan. You may not want to hear this but I love her. I will stop at nothing to make sure she’s safe. She is secure and no one and I do mean no one, not even my sister, makes her feel unwanted. You leave soon. You can keep your misplaced hate if you want to but one day I hope you grow up enough to realize there is only one person to hate here.”
Nan sank down onto one of the lounge chairs she kept out here to lay out and read books. I loved her too. I’d been protecting her all my life. Telling her this and threatening her was hard but I couldn’t let her hurt Blaire any longer. I had to stop this. Blaire would never give me another chance as long as Nan was tormenting her life.
“So you’re choosing her over me,” Nan whispered.
“This isn’t a contest Nan. Stop acting like it is. You’ve got the dad. She lost him. You won. Now let it go.”
Nan lifted her eyes and tears were clinging to her eyelashes. “She’s made you hate me.”
Damn fucking drama. Nan lived a soap opera in her head. “Nan, listen to me. I love you. You’re my little sister. No one can change that. But I am in love with Blaire. It may be a major hitch in your plans to conquer and destroy but baby, it is time you let your daddy issues go. Three years ago he came back. I need you to put this behind you.”
“What about family first?” She choked out.
“Don’t go there. You and I both know I’ve put you first all my life. You needed me and I was there. But we are adults now, Nan.”
She wiped the tears that had leaked out of her eyes and stood back up. I could never tell if her tears were real or fake. She could turn them on and off at whim. “Fine. Maybe I’ll go back to school early. You don’t want me here anyway. You’ve chosen her.”
“I’ll always want you around, Nan. But this time I want you to play nice. Think about someone else for a change. You have a heart. I’ve seen it. Now it is time to use it.”
Nan’s spine stiffened. “If we’re done here could you please leave your condo?”
I nodded. “Yeah I’m done,” I replied and walked back insi
de. Without another word I headed out the front door. Time would now tell if I had to follow through on my threats to teach my sister a lesson. I really hoped I didn’t.
Blaire
I needed my things and I needed to sell my truck. It would never make it this far again. Cain had checked it out for me last week after it broke down and said he could temporarily fix it. The cost to fix everything that was wrong with it would cost more than I could afford to spend. Calling and asking Granny Q or Cain to ship my things and sell my truck seemed wrong. They deserved an explanation… or at least Granny Q did. She’d given me a roof, a bed and fed me for three weeks. I was going to have to go back to Sumit to get my stuff and say goodbye to Granny Q. Woods had given me a few days to get settled in before I started back to work.
Bethy had taken off yesterday to take me to apply for Medicaid. It was time I saw a doctor but I would require insurance first. Today I had overheard her tell Jace she looked forward to their date tonight. I’d been monopolizing all her time since she came and got me. I was beginning to feel like a lot of work. I hated that feeling. I could take a bus. It would be affordable and I wouldn’t be a burden on Bethy. I opened Bethy’s laptop to google the bus schedule.
A knock on the door interrupted my thoughts. I stopped my search for a bus station and went to open the door. Rush standing there with his hands tucked into the front of his jeans and one of his tight tee shirts on was not what I’d been expecting. He reached up and pulled off his aviator sunglasses. I wished he’d kept them on. The silver color of his eyes in the sunshine was even more breathtaking than I remembered.
“Hey, I saw Bethy at the clubhouse. She said you were here,” Rush explained. He was nervous. I’d never seen Rush nervous.
“Yeah… um Woods gave me a couple of days to get my things from Sumit before I start back to work.”
“You’ve got to go get your things?”
I nodded. “Yeah. I left them there. I just brought an overnight bag with me. I hadn’t exactly been planning on staying.”
Rush frowned. “So how are you going to get there? I don’t see your truck.”
“I was just about to google bus stations and see where the closest one to here is.”
Rush’s frown deepened. “It’s forty minutes away. All the way in Fort Walton Beach.”
That wasn’t as bad as I’d feared.
“A bus isn’t safe Blaire. I don’t like the idea of you taking a bus. Let me take you. Please. I’ll get you there faster and I it’s free. You could save your money.”
Ride with him? All the way to Sumit and back? Was that a good idea?
“I don’t know…” I trailed off because honestly I didn’t know. My heart wasn’t ready for that much Rush.
“We don’t even have to talk… or we can if you want. I’ll let you choose the music and I won’t complain.”
If I went back with Rush, then Cain wouldn’t put up a fight. Or then again maybe he would. He could tell Rush about the pregnancy. But would he? I’d never confirmed to Cain that I was pregnant.
“I know you can’t forgive the lies and the hurt. I’m not asking you to. You know I’m sorry and if I could go back and change things I would. Please, Blaire, just as a friend who wants to help and keep you safe from crazy men who could hurt you on a bus, let me drive you.”
I thought of how very unlikely it was that I’d get hurt on the bus. And then I thought about the fact I wasn’t just keeping myself safe anymore. I had another life inside of me to protect.
“Okay. Yes. I’d like a ride.”
~*~
Jace was sprawled out in the large stuffed blue chair that sat in Bethy’s living room with his feet propped up on the ottoman and Bethy curled up in his lap. I was on the sofa feeling like a science experiment as they both stared at me in confusion.
“So you’re fine with Rush taking you to Sumit tomorrow to get your things? I mean you don’t feel weird or...” Bethy trailed off.
It would be strange. It would also hurt just being near him but I needed a ride. Bethy needed to work, not to take another day off to help me this week. “He offered. I needed a ride so I said yes.”
“And it was that easy? Why am I not buying it?” Bethy asked.
“Because she’s leaving out the parts where he begged and pleaded,” Jace said with a chuckle.
I pulled the afghan up over my shoulders. I was cold. I was cold a lot lately which was odd because it was summertime in Florida. “He didn’t beg,” I replied, feeling an urge to defend Rush. Even if he did actually beg, it wasn’t Jace’s business.
“Yeah, right. If you say so.” Jace took a drink of the sweet tea Bethy had fixed him.
“It isn’t our business. Leave her alone, Jace. We need to decide on what to do about the lease on this place ending in a week.”
I wouldn’t be here long. I’d told her that. Moving into the more expensive condo wasn’t a good idea. My half of the rent wouldn’t be covered after I left and she’d be left with all of it.
Jacekissed Bethy’s hand and grinned at her. “I told you I’d take care of things. If you’d just let me.” He winked at her and I turned my head away. I didn’t want to watch them. Rush and I had never been like that. Our relationship had been short. Intense and brief. I wondered what it would have felt like to have the freedom to curl up in Rush’s arms anytime I wanted. To know I was safe and that he loved me. We’d never had that chance.
“And I told you I’m not going to let you pay my rent. Sorry. New plan. Oh, Blaire, why don’t we go apartment hunting tomorrow?”
A knock on the door interrupted me before I could agree. Then Grant opened the door and walked in.
“You did not just walk into my girl’s apartment without permission. She could’ve been naked,” Jace snarled at Grant.
Grant rolled his eyes then flashed a smile in my direction. “I saw your car here, jackass. Calm down. I’m here to see if I can convince Blaire to take a walk with me.”
“You trying to get your ass kicked?” Jace asked
Grant smirked and then shook his head before looking back at me. “Come on Blaire, let’s go take a walk and play catch up.”
Had Grant been in on the lie? Surely he had known about it. I couldn’t tell him no. Even if he had known he had also been the first nice person I’d met here. He’d filled my tank up with gas. He’d worried about me sleeping under the stairs. I nodded and stood up. “These two need some alone time anyway,” I replied, glancing back at Bethy. She was studying me closely. I gave her a reassuring smile and she appeared to relax.
“Don’t leave on our account. We need to decide on where we’re gonna live in a week,” Bethy said as I walked to the door.
“Y’all can talk about that later, Beth Ann. Blaire’s been gone for almost a month. You have to share,” Grant replied, opening the door for me to walk outside.
“Rush is gonna go apeshit,” Jace called out right before Grant closed the door muffling whatever it was Bethy had started to say.
We walked down the stairs in silence. Once we were on the sidewalk I looked over at Grant. “Did you just miss me or is there something you want to say to me?” I asked.
Grant grinned. “I missed you. I’ve had to put up with Rush’s sulking ass. So trust me I missed the fuckin’ hell outta you.”
I could tell by his teasing tone he had wanted to make a joke. But thinking about Rush being upset didn’t make me smile. It just reminded me of everything. “Sorry,” I mumbled. I wasn’t sure what else to say to that.
“Just glad you’re back.”
I waited. I knew there was more he wanted to say. I could sense it. He was taking his time and I figured he was trying to decide exactly how to say whatever it was he wanted to say to me.
“I’m sorry about what happened. How it happened. And Nan. She can come off as the world’s biggest spoiled bitch but she’s had a screwed up childhood. It warped her or something. If you’d lived with Georgianna as your mother you’d understand. Rush was a boy s
o he didn’t get it as bad. But Nan, damn, her world was fucked. It isn’t an excuse for her, just an explanation.”
I didn’t respond. I had nothing to say to that. I didn’t feel sympathy of any kind for Nan. Obviously the men in her life did. Must be nice.
“Regardless of all that, what she did was wrong. How it was kept from you was really screwed up. I’m sorry I didn’t say anything but honestly, I wasn’t even aware you and Rush had anything going until that night at the club when he lost it over the snails. I’d noticed he was attracted to you but so were most males in this town. I figured he was the one guy who wouldn’t make a move on you because of his loyalty to Nan… and well, what you represented to the both of them.” Grant stopped walking and I turned to look back at him.
“I’ve never seen him like this. Ever. It’s like he’s hollow. I can’t get through to him. He doesn’t smile. He doesn’t even pretend to enjoy life anymore. He’s different since you left. Even though he wasn’t honest and it looks like he was just protecting Nan… you two just didn’t have enough time. Nan has been his responsibility since he was a kid. That was all he knew. Then you came into his world and apparently rocked it overnight. If he’d had more time he would have told you. I know he would’ve. But he didn’t. It wasn’t fair to him. He was falling for this girl he had always thought had been the reason his sister was without a dad. His belief system was changing but it was hard for him to work through it too.”
I just stared at him. Not because I didn’t agree. I had already worked through all this in my head. I understood what he was saying. The problem was… it didn’t change things. Even if he had been going to tell me, it didn’t change who he was or who Nan was. What they represented to me. My mother’s last three years on this earth had been hell while they lived in their fancy houses and flitted from one social event to the next. Their belief in the lies they told me was the one thing I didn’t think I could ever get over.