Ticket Home

by James Michael Pratt

  “Guess so,” Lucian replied.

  “Hey, what’s the big idea,” Al growled, spitting out the pulp and a large portion of a worm with it.

  Lucian backed away slowly, laughing. “Now see here, Al. Can’t blame me if it’s extra juicy,” he said laughing, as he took off with a leap from the warehouse loading dock followed by the big man through orange trees nearby. Al in his overalls was no match for Lucian’s lightness and speed.

  Norman smiled as he finished loading the crates, listening to Lucian’s mischievous taunting off in the distance. He had known enough of his brother’s playfulness to last a lifetime. It was time to get serious though. Glad his brother was chasing his dream, but he could find no way in his soul that he would let his pa down. He figured Lucian just didn’t feel the same, but didn’t blame him. He was working for a bigger dream anyway A house, a woman, and a long future with the business of railroading once this Depression turned around.

  And the woman. Mary Jane nagged at his mind constantly. She bent it and twisted it all up. He’d like to forget her but she was there, always there. Smiling with those azure eyes that could turn a man to mush, and dipping her shoulder just so as she relaxed cross-legged, engaged in some interesting conversation about life and such.

  She was slender. So slender she would break in a strong wind if he wasn’t there to hold onto her. And that was exactly what he planned to do. Embrace her, love her, and lay down everything he was and would be if he had to for that woman.

  The army pay would give him a good boost. He could work the Santa Fe docks down in Albuquerque until he had enough money to pay off the Dearborn place in Warm Springs. Be near home too. The Guard would give him a free place to sleep.

  It was working out perfect in his mind. His pa had survived the worst of it with the help of Harry, and his and Lucian’s extra money was goin’ home to pay off the debts to land and depot.

  Just one thing left to figure out and do. He was in love or a fool. Either way he needed to see Mary Jane. And seein’ her would only make his sickness worse.

  He needed her. She might be willing to marry if he laid his plans out right. There was something between them. He could feel it.

  Tomorrow he’d hitch a ride on the Southern Pacific line up to L.A. and call his pa, get the address of where she worked from her granddad, Harry.

  He looked at the loaded pallet with satisfaction. They had run out of work in Albuquerque. Now they need him back, and of course so did the Guard unit he was training with.

  He liked the orange-growing country of rolling Ventura County hills. The cool Pacific breeze was pleasant. But he had to get back, keep working to have the girl of his dreams go with him too. He hoped she hadn’t become too attached to all this California pleasantness, the city life she had found in Los Angeles.

  Slapping his time card through the clock, he headed for the company phone. Then, after packing, he’d say good-bye to his brother, this stint on the rails in California, and look at the future with Mary Jane’s shining eyes and smiling face staring back at him every day of his life.

  Love hurt bad. But nothing hurt so good neither. He never knew a pain like this one. They don’t make pills or tonics to make it go away, he reasoned. Nothing lasted more than wanting this woman Mary Jane. And nothing felt better than believing he would have her forever. God made bliss but he surly made a man to hurt too, he thought to himself.

  Not having her was like a sore spot that festered in his heart. All wound up like a spring, his heart felt like breaking at the same time. He wanted his heart back. She could hand it to him. He was glad this misery was about to end.

  CHAPTER 16

  Lucian didn’t know what to do. Al finally quit chasing him, gave up, and he caught his breath. He had faked being fun-loving, raucous, playful, just to get away from his brother and the emotions welling inside of him.

  He wouldn’t hurt Norman for the world. But he couldn’t stop seeing Mary Jane. And he couldn’t tell Norman about him and Mary Jane.

  That night on the beach, after the three girls had picked him and Al up, was a night for the books. He thought he had felt something for her before, but walking through the surf, hand in hand, talking more seriously about life … it was a feeling he hadn’t ever tried on before. He was acting more like Norman than himself He even kept his chew in his pocket so as not to embarrass himself with spitting all over the place.

  He pondered what to do as he found the comfort of an oak tree on the lawn where the small red schoolhouse sat. He had Al chase him that far, darn near a mile, and needed at least that much space from his brother, that much time away to sort this thing out.

  She had kissed him that night and he never knew it could be so good, so honest. He was sure he was going to have to marry her.

  He knew he was betraying Norman while it was happening, but he couldn’t stop the feeling, the emotion—and Mary Jane? She melted him. He forgot everything when she was within eyesight of him. He couldn’t muster one level-headed thought within touching range. And kissing and hugging … Well I was just plumb lost. A goner, he silently reasoned.

  He was caught up in that night. It was two months ago now that fate had handed her to him, causing all this mess.

  “Lucian,” she said turning to him. “I wondered what it would be like. You know, being here in California, the ocean. It’s so, so, vast and mighty. It just goes forever,” she said, kicking happily at the surf with her bare feet.

  “Pretty big. Never imagined anything so big. A lot bigger than that bathing hole back home.” He smiled.

  She pushed at his arm. “You better not start now.”

  “I was just thinkin’, that’s all.”

  “Keep it there,” she reminded him.

  “Yes ’em, ma’am.” They walked on in silence. The sun, already set, had spent her light upon the water like the last hot glimmers of coal burning … embers so hot, yet dim in the steamer that the locomotive engine stayed revved up an extra mile anyway His engine was churning terribly and he couldn’t run. All he could do was just fake control. His heart was ablaze, and nothing was going to put it out.

  “Thought the Oklahoma sky went on forever,” he finally said, trying to keep up in the conversation, act smart, take his mind off the manliness overcoming him. Norman was better at trying to sound interesting, he thought to himself. A momentary twinge of guilt swept through him upon thinking about his brother.

  “I was mad at you, you know,” she laughed, interrupting his private ponderings.

  “You mean about … about the first time we met?” He smiled.

  “Something like that,” she responded playfully. “I wasn’t really, really mad exactly, just embarrassed I guess. I thought you and Norman were the same, person, and I tried playing angry ’cause you startled me so.”

  “I would have done the same, I guess.”

  “No you wouldn’t. You’re a man. Men don’t care. They’d probably like girls catching a peek.” She laughed at her own remark.

  “Well, I, uh, I’m not too sure. That all depends.”

  “Depends on what?”

  “Oh, I don’t know. You know Norm, he’s a shy one; I am too, I suppose.”

  “You?” she laughed.

  “Well, yeah. Maybe less. Well, less formal, less a gentleman sometimes, but I can be shy too,” he argued. He knew she had appreciated Norman’s quiet dignity

  She stopped him and looked up into his eyes. “You’re different. But you look exactly alike. Sad eyebrows that look so thoughtful, dimples that smile before your lips do, strong jaw line.” She softened her voice as she went on. “Exactly the same, but you’re different,” she continued.

  “Guess so,” he answered nervously, feigning indifference.

  “You know how different you are?” She ventured closer.

  “Oh, I suppose.” He gazed into blue eyes locked into his. He connected to those eyes like a a bad habit he didn’t want to break.

  She leaned up and reached her slender,
tanned arms around his neck. She offered herself softly, gently pressing against him for his arms to reach back around her.

  He didn’t resist.

  She started the kiss. His cheeks first, moving slowly, carefully toward his lips.

  They fell to the sand eagerly and hungrily kissed until there wasn’t anything left.

  He was at a loss. He sat up stunned as she nestled against him. Both of them wanting more. Both constrained by proprieties they had been taught about intimacy It had to be right. Married right. He knew it, so did she.

  He’d never done this and as much as he’d imagined it and wanted to, he couldn’t have known. No words were good enough to tell a man how it would be. And if kissing and holding her were this good … His mind wandered through the fire.

  The other girls, with Al and a sailor friend of the pretty brunette, were making their way back out of the surf from their swim.

  They made a fire in the sand. She sat with his arms surrounding her as they sang, laughed, shared the food and drinks. He was forced to retell how Mary Jane and he had first met, to the approving laughs of the nearly-drunk Al and the more sober girls.

  Now he sat under the oak tree pondering this peculiar challenge, how to love her and yet warn Norman. Norm was headed up to L.A. to see her. It had his mind all messed up like too many drinks. It was foggy. Not clear what he should do. A fire had built up so hot that night on the beach he didn’t think he could live without it. To tell Norman the truth would kill him.

  CHAPTER 17

  Norman sat on the flat car, listening to the clanks of the wheels on the Union Pacific rails. He was somewhere near Los Angeles now, headed toward some rocky peaks and a long dark tunnel. The sign posted read SANTA SUSANA DEPOT. He liked this place. Not at all like Oklahoma, but so pleasing. Fertile land, mountains that jutted up into the sky like stony sentinels—guardians surrounding the tiny valleys. Now he was just a few miles north of the L.A. county line and then on up to Los Angeles Union Station, where he’d stay the night and look for Mary Jane.

  The train entered a tunnel leading to the L.A. county side. It was dark but relaxing after the heat of the sun had baked his face and exposed arms a reddish brown. He closed his eyes and tried to imagine this meeting with Mary Jane. Would she be surprised?

  His mind wandered over her exquisite lines, curves, the slenderness, the tenderness of an ivory skin that played his mind like the melodies of a soft piano strain. She seemed to have a music to her walk, the way her eyes glanced at him—they smiled and danced at the same time. He knew he was welcome when her eyes smiled like that.

  He wondered if Lucian knew what seeing Mary Jane meant to him now. He tried being coy about it, not offering too much information. He loved his brother but didn’t exactly trust him. He’d played tricks with a girl he was in love with once before and it had hurt. She fell for him … his twin. The girls always fell for him.

  Doggone it! Not this time, he assured himself.

  The tunnel opened suddenly to noonday brightness that caught him off guard. The tracks descended into the San Fernando Valley heading southwest to Los Angeles. Another hour will just about do it, he thought.

  Los Angeles Union was a new station. He was friends with one of the warehouse managers there. The man had offered to let him stay in one of the sleepers sitting off the tracks; a real luxury car that was being worked on. It had plumbing, a bed, the works. He’d smell good, get a shave, stow his gear, get to a phone, then find the west Los Angeles cafe where Mary Jane was said to work.

  Lucian had seen his brother off without warning him about the relationship he had with Mary Jane. He wondered how to reach her since he didn’t have the phone number where she was working. A new place, somewhere on Santa Monica Boulevard.

  He wasn’t a praying man like Norm. Lucian wished he was now. Not so much for the hurt he might feel, but for Norman’s feelings. He wished he knew a prayer. Norman was good. A lot more sensitive in his ways.

  He pulled his wallet out of his baggy trousers and took out the photo of him with Mary Jane taken just the week before down at the Santa Monica pier. “Ah, hell!” he whispered in frustration. Being a twin stunk sometimes. It just plain stinks, he thought, silently kicking at a stone as he walked back to the bunk house at the citrus packing plant in Santa Paula.

  Putting the photo away, he thought the best he could do now was hope for the best. He walked the dirt road from the loading dock down to a gray barracks-style bungalow he shared with other men working the rail lines.

  He’d better hit the rails on up to L.A. and see if he could salvage this. Tell the truth. Break the news. Help Mary Jane out of this sticky mess and hope that Norman would understand somehow.

  Norman pulled the crumpled note with the scribbled address from his shirt pocket. The diner was two blocks from the sound of crashing surf. Red flashing neon lights accented the name on the sign. JERRY’S DINER.

  He entered nervously, his heart pounding one hundred beats faster than regular when he thought about her. He sought to hide himself in the crowded doorway while setting one eye to the task of finding her.

  Every table was taken. Maybe this is a mistake, he thought. No, I can’t back out now. I won’t get up the nerve again. I won’t have a chance again.

  Debating with himself, the pros and cons of seeing her like this, was a useless pursuit. She appeared suddenly, plates in hand, through the swinging doors that led to the kitchen. There behind the counter she stopped, called back into the kitchen, swung her blond hair back, blew some puffs to remove golden strands from her eyes, and had him mesmerized. He couldn’t move now if he tried.

  He noticed there were stools vacant over at the counter. Maybe he could get a seat, act casual, like he didn’t know she worked here. Explain he was just visiting town, wanted to see the ocean, got hungry. That would work.

  “Uh, hum,” he cleared his throat. “Miss?” He directed himself to a busy waitress. “The counter over there. Is it okay to take a seat?”

  “Go ahead.” She nodded.

  He walked, head bowed slightly, not wishing to expose his identity or act too interested. He took the last seat at the farthest end from the kitchen doors and quickly occupied himself with a folding menu. His eyes met the top of the page and he gazed over it toward her. She was serving the far end of the counter now and looked his way

  He buried himself in the menu once again and wondered how he was going to respond. He couldn’t seem to keep a clear train of thought. His heart managed his mind, and seemed stuck in his throat.

  He sipped at the ice water placed there by another waitress, glad that maybe she wouldn’t be his. She passed by him, apparently headed for the soda fountain farther down the wall across from the counter.

  He found himself absorbed in her graceful movements. She looks good! So mighty fine! He gazed at her easy walk, the way she handled pressure, the ease at her handling the tasks. This distracted him, but his heart sent spurts of blood even faster into every artery and then some. Maybe she’d be first to say something.

  She turned and stopped. Her mouth unhinged, then smiled. “Hi!” she squealed.

  She recognizes me, he thought. “I was just in town and thought …”

  “Sure!” she teased. “Don’t order anything. I’ll be off in one minute. We can go down to the pier.” She winked, grinned, and acted as if seeing him was as natural and right as serving dinner.

  Man this is easy, he smiled, satisfied with the way things were going. He finished his drink, watched her talk to another waitress and noticed her explain something while nodding her head his way The waitress smiled and waved. Norman waved in return. Mary Jane gave her a hug and took off her apron, disappearing into the back of the packed restaurant.

  He waited.

  “Hey you!” She poked at him from behind. “Come on. I have something special for you.” She grinned as she placed her arm in his and pulled him through the crowded diner to the street.

  “I knew you would be coming, but tho
ught it would be next week.”

  He didn’t ask how she knew, just went along with it.

  She stopped, leaned up against the wall in the alley where deliveries were made and teasingly pulled him to her. “Well?” she asked, then went ahead without waiting.

  Norman was frozen stiff but willing as lips met. He forgot anything he would say, think, or feel, and hungrily added his passion to hers. She allowed him to find her ears, neck, and shoulder before he pulled back, suddenly, to her voice.

  “What?” he asked, stunned. “What did you say?”

  “What do you mean? I just said your name. I just said your name, and said you’ve never kissed me like this before.” She studied his shock, then his face carefully, and felt the heat from his embarrassment as he pulled away completely.

  “Mary Jane. I thought … You think I’m … ,” he said with a strained voice as his words trailed off. “You thought …” He stopped without saying his brother’s name then nodded with the sudden realization. “I’d better be going,” he added, turning from her.

  “Norman? Oh my gosh, Norman! Come here. Please?” she pleaded. “I am so, so sorry. Norman, I didn’t know. I was so excited to see you, I mean … Didn’t Lucian say anything to you? How we met?” She stumbled as her face flushed crimson with discomfort.

  He shook his head in silence, examining the sidewalk, looking for a better response. Angers that lay hidden just beneath the surface, the ones going all the way back to childhood that reared up when Lucian interfered, stalked him now.

  “Norman, I was so excited to see you … you and Lucian look so handsome, both of you are, exactly alike, and I just wanted to … ohhh, this is a mess. I’m so embarrassed. You must believe me, I would never intentionally hurt you.”