by J B Heller
She was blushing again. That blush did something to my insides. “Okay, food sounds good.”
I picked up a sandwich and Stella picked up one of the salads. We settled into a comfortable silence as we ate. I had moved closer to her when she had her little freak out, I was still sitting quite close, and she didn’t seem to mind. At least she was starting to feel more comfortable around me.
After a few minutes we started making small talk and the next hour flew by. I wished I had more time with her. I tidied up the left overs into the bag I had brought them in, but left the remaining chocolate covered strawberries for Stella.
“Thank you for seeing me today. I really enjoyed our time together. I hope we can do it again soon.” She reached out to shake my hand.
Instead I held her hand gently and brought it to my lips, placing a soft kiss on the top of her knuckles, “You’re welcome Stella.” I breathed against her soft skin before releasing her hand and walking out the door.
I didn’t bother looking back at doe eyes as I left. I quickly exited the reception area once out of sight I made a fist and punched the air. “Nailed it!”
It was childish but I felt awesome, the afternoon had gone great, I felt great. I was about to make my way to the elevator when I paused, I could feel her eyes on me, Shit.
I turned my head back in the direction of Stella’s office and sure enough, there she was, watching me. What else could I do but grin at her?
“So, it would be wishful thinking on my part that you didn’t just see that little victory display wouldn’t it?” I asked casually, already knowing the answer from the expression on her face.
She tilted her head to the side. She had to stop doing that or I was going to throw caution to the wind and just kiss her. “Is that what that was?”
“Well yeah… what else would you call it?”
“I don’t know, but it was, amusing.” She said with a small smile.
“Well then, at least my embarrassment wasn’t for nothin’. Anythin’ to make my lady smile.”
“Your lady?” she asked with wide eyes.
“Yes, my lady. I’ll have you know right here, right now Stella, I’m not goin’ anywhere. I know what I want and it’s you. I’ll go as slow as you want baby, but you’re as good as mine.” I stated.
“Oh.” She breathed.
“Yeah, oh. Now, what can I do for you? Or did you just come out here to watch my arse as I walked away?”
That shocked her I think, her mouth popped open and she started fidgeting. “I ah, I well, umm, I, you make me very nervous Brayden. I’m falling all over my words, it’s very unlike me and I don’t think I like it.”
I made the few steps it took to get to her nice and slowly so as not to startle her. I stopped right in front of her, as close as I could without actually touching her. “But you like me, right?”
“Yes.” It was only a whisper but I heard it.
I wanted to fist pump the air again, but controlled myself. “Why did you come out here Stella?”
“To ask if you would come again, maybe on Friday? I’ll provide lunch since you did today.”
Grinning like a fool I told her, “I’ll see you on Friday Stella.”
Before I could screw things up by kissing her senseless out here in the hallway I spun on my heel and got in the elevator. Friday couldn’t come soon enough.
Stella
The rest of the week passed painfully slow, all I had thought about was what I should do for lunch on Friday. It was pointless trying to focus on my work, my mind just kept wandering back to Brayden and our upcoming lunch date. I guess that’s what it was since I was now apparently ‘his lady’. Admittedly, I liked the sound of that.
He had texted me a few times throughout the week, just checking-in he said, to make sure I wouldn’t change my mind about our second date. I smiled every time I saw his name flash up on my screen. He even called last night, hearing his voice last night again made my stomach flutter.
It was now Friday and I still had no idea what I was doing about lunch. It was time to call in the big guns. I called Bianca into my office. This would be right up her ally, I just had to make sure she didn’t go overboard. “Brayden will be coming for lunch again today, what should I get?”
Her face lit up like a Christmas tree. Oh lord, had I just made a mistake asking her for help? “Are you telling me that delicious man is coming back? I don’t know if my heart can take it Stella. He’s just so… Ugh there are no words! My panties melt every time he walks in the door. I just wanna strip my clothes off and worship at the alter that is his incredible body.”
I chocked on a laugh, “Woe, down girl. You’re getting a bit carried away there sweetie. I’ll admit Brayden is something to look at but, worship at his alter? You sound like a stalker in the making Bianca. You might want to tone it down a little.”
Her eyes were glazed over when she said, “I’d stalk him any time, I mean it Stella, if you need some recon done, I’m your girl.”
“Okay, you’re starting to scare me a little there sweetie. Just try focusing on lunch. What should I get? He brought a lovely lunch on Monday. Maybe I should just get the same thing. Can you run down to the deli for me and pick up a few sandwiches and a salad or two. Oh and get some of those chocolate covered strawberries.”
She was already on her way out the door by the time I’d finished talking. She may have been quirky at times, but she was efficient.
Brayden had already arrived by the time Bianca got back. We were sitting on the lounge in my office waiting on her when she walked in. She stood there, stock still staring at him with her big brown eyes popped right open. Like a deer stuck in head lights. It was quite funny. I had to clear my throat to get her attention.
Her head snapped in my direction. She plopped the paper bag from the deli down on the coffee table and scurried out of my office without a word.
Brayden and I both started laughing once the door clicked closed.
Our conversation flowed smoothly, without any flip outs on my part. I felt safe and comfortable with him. My attraction to him was growing by the minute. The sexual tension in the air was stifling. I wanted him to touch me, but at the same time I wasn’t sure if I was ready yet.
“What are you thinking Stella?” he asked softly.
“Hmm?” I glanced over at him.
“You’re thinking about something really hard. You tilt your head off to the side and sometimes you even chew on your lip when you do it. So, what are you thinking?”
“I do not. I was just thinking about how nice this is. It’s nice having someone to talk to about mundane things. Fergus isn’t really the talking type.”
“Who the fuck is Fergus?” he said as his body went ridged.
I couldn’t help the laugh that bubbled up from my stomach. “Settle down, Fergus is my dog.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah, Oh. You’re getting all uppity over a dog.”
“I was not getting uppity. I’ve already told you, you’re my lady. Then you go talking about this Fergus, give a guy a break, how was I to know he was your dog? This is the first time I’ve ever felt like this about anyone, you’re going to have to cut me some slack.”
I smirked at him, he was so cute. Cute isn’t really one of the words you would usually use when describing Brayden, more like drool worthy or sex on a stick as Bianca would say. But right now, getting all snooty about Fergus, it was just plain cute.
“What are you smirking about hey?” he prodded.
“Nothing, you’re just so cute.” I grinned as his transformed to mortification.
“Cute? Are you trying to insult me woman!”
“What’s wrong with being cute?” I feigned ignorance to my insult.
“Nothin’ if you’re a boy, but I’m a man damn it and you’re insulting my manliness.”
“I’m terribly sorry.”
“Good, you should be.” He said with a huff.
The rest of our time when by all too quickly,
I wanted to ask if I could see him again but I chickened out. So much for my bravery.
I actually moped for the first time in my life that afternoon. I missed his company. My numbers were no longer providing the comfort they used to. I just missed him.
We had a connection I couldn’t explain. The more time I spent with him, the more I wanted to spend with him. I never imagined I would feel this comfortable with a man again. I felt like I could be myself with him. I knew he wouldn’t judge me by my past. I already felt so close to him.
By Sunday afternoon I was missing him terribly. He had sent me a few texts through the week and after he left on Friday, getting them made my days bearable. Then we talked on the phone every night for hours. Now I was pacing in my bedroom trying to find the courage to ask him over to my apartment.
Brayden
I was getting antsy. I had only seen Stella two days ago on our lunch date but I already missed her face. I decided I had to see her tonight, I just didn’t know how to make that happen. She had already told me she wasn’t up for going out. I was racking my brain trying to figure out what to do when my phone went off signalling I had a message. It was Stella.
I didn’t think she would be the first to contact me yet, but I was damn happy about it. My fingers shook as I slid one across the screen to unlock it. I don’t do nervous, what the fuck was wrong with me?
~Hi, I umm was wondering if you have any plans tonight? I know it’s Sunday night and you’re probably busy, just thought I’d ask.~
Even if I had plans I would have cancelled them. I’d cancel anything if it meant spendin’ time with Stella.
~Nope, no plans. What did you have in mind?~
Twenty minutes later she still hadn’t replied. Maybe she was having second thoughts about asking me. Or maybe she was expecting me to have plans? Another ten minutes, and still nothing. I was starting to worry.
~Stella, are you okay? We don’t have to do anything. We can just chat, like the other night. If you’d like? I can just call you.~
~No, no I’m fine. I umm, I was going to see if you would like to come to my place, maybe watch a movie?~
Watch a movie? Fuck yes I’d like to go watch a movie at her place, but not unless she was completely comfortable with me being in her space.
~Are you sure Stella? I can wait until you’re more comfortable with me.~
~I’m sure. I’ll be fine.~
~You don’t sound so sure, but I can’t say no. I wouldn’t miss an opportunity to spend time with you. Send me your address and I’ll be there in an hour.~
Stella sent me her address and I hurried to get ready.
Stella
I can’t believe I actually did it. I asked a man to come to my home. I’ve never had a man here. Never. I must be crazy. What the hell was I thinking!! I can’t do this. Oh God, I should tell him not to come, that I’ve changed my mind. My palms were sweating, I was pacing around my bedroom flexing my fingers. I was sure I was going to throw up at any moment.
Then I heard a brisk knock come from my front door. Oh Lord, he was here, and he’s early. I looked down at myself and realised I was still in my bra and panties I had put on when I got out of the shower, and nothing else.
I called out in a shaky voice that I would just be a moment and hurried to find some clothes. I found a pair of comfortable leggings and a long sweater that sat just below my butt. Then I hurried to the door, stepping up to my tippy toes I looked through the peep hole, there he was, in all his masculine glory. I think I started to drool a little.
I wiped my hand across my mouth just in case before opening the door.
I stood there frozen in place, just staring at him. I felt a fool but I couldn’t make myself move. My eyes roved over his beautiful face, down his impressive chest that was encased in a long sleeved black t-shirt that looked a size too small the way it hugged his torso. I continued my perusal of his amazing body, he wore a pair of dark jeans that sat low on his hips, if he were to move just so I would catch a glimpse of the V that I knew led below the waist band of those jeans. He cleared his throat, effectively snapping me out of my daze.
“Oh, I’m sorry. Come in.” I said looking at my feet to try hide my blush.
I stepped back holding open my front door for him to come through. He was so broad that even with my back pressed against the wall his large bicep grazed my breasts on his way past me, my nipples stood to attention immediately. What was wrong with me! I can’t remember ever reacting like this to such a simple touch. An accidental touch at that.
I closed and locked the door out of habit, before squeezing past Brayden’s large body to lead him into the main living area. I had a small apartment, I liked it like that, very basic. Dividing my kitchen and dining area from my lounge room was a half wall I had painted metallic silver, with photos and trinkets I had collected over the years sitting on the top.
My heart felt like it would beat out of my chest it was beating so hard and fast. I had a man in my apartment, the realization took my breath away. I didn’t know what to do. My mind wouldn’t focus. It was racing a mile a minute. I had a man in my apartment. One I was attracted to. That little revelation made my heart stop, and then take off at an alarming rate. My hand flew to my chest above my heart; I bent over and started heaving for air.
This was not my first panic attack. I squeezed my eyes shut and tried to focus on calming myself down and slowing my breathing before I started to hyperventilate. Before I knew what was happening I was wrapped in strong arms being carried to my couch. If I listened really hard I could hear a strong yet kind voice murmuring soothing words in my ear. I began to relax into his hold. My breathing calmed and my heart beat slowed.
I don’t know how long we sat like that. It could have been hours, it could have been minutes. I was spent. Panic attacks always left me exhausted. I curled into his warmth, and he wrapped his arms tighter around me. I’d never felt so safe. In that moment I knew, Brayden Brooks was going to change my life.
Brayden
I sat there on Stella’s couch with her wrapped up in a little ball in my lap. She was so tiny. Whatever had just happened to her scared the hell out of me. I did the only thing I could think to do, I picked her up and just held her. Whispering what I hoped were soothing words. I almost called an ambulance, but she started to settle so I just waited it out, holding her close.
Her body started to relax and she snuggled right into me, clutching at my shirt with her tiny hands. I held her tighter, as tight as I could without hurting her. She seemed so small and delicate. I just wanted to keep her wrapped up in my arms, keep her safe from the demons in her head.
I have to talk to Sloan, I have to find out what happened to this girl who was quickly taking over my every waking thought, and she’s even starring in my dreams. Whatever had changed her, made her this way, I wanted, no, needed to fix it.
I looked down at her now peaceful face, her breathing had evened out, I was pretty sure she was sleeping. I can only imagine going through something like that would be pretty tiring. I’ve never experienced anything like it myself, and I’ve never seen it happen to anyone before either. I was totally out of my element here.
I slipped one hand into my pocket, careful not to wake Stella, and pulled out my phone. I switched my phone to silent then sent Sloan a text.
~SOS. Come to Stella’s NOW.~
~What did you do? I’ll kick your arse if your hurt her!~
~I didn’t do anything, she asked me over, I got here and she skitzed out. I’ve settled her but now I don’t know what to do. Just come.~
~I’ll be there in 15.~
Thank God. Help was on the way.
True to her word, Sloan showed up and let herself in fifteen minutes later. If the scowl on her face was anything to go by, I was on her shit list. Well fuck me.
Sloan
When I walked into Stella’s apartment the first thing I saw was Bray sitting on her couch hunched over. I didn’t see Stella though. I was about to lose my
shit. I rounded the couch ready to rip him a new one, until I saw a sleeping Stella wrapped up in his arms. She was alright.
I still wanted to yell at him, but I settled for harsh whispering instead. I didn’t want to wake Stella up. “What the fuck happened?”
“I don’t know, I had only just arrived. We walked in and all of a sudden she grabbed her chest, bent over and started breathing really hard.”
I narrowed my eyes on him, “Did you touch her?”
“What? No, I told you, we had just walked in. I hadn’t even had a chance to say anything to her before it happened. It freaked me the fuck out!”
“Yea, it can be pretty scary. She’s ended up in hospital before.” I said on a sigh.
Shock registered on Bray’s face, “What was it? I’ve never seen anything like it.”
“A panic attack. She’s been having them for a few years now. How did you get her to sleep?”
“I picked her up and brought her over here. I’ve just been holding her. I don’t know, trying to reassure her. It took a little while, but she calmed down, and went to sleep. That’s when I texted you. What do I do now? I don’t want to move and wake her, but I get the feeling she might not be cool with waking up in my arms. But I don’t want to leave her either.”
I couldn’t help the smug expression that came over my face. He had fallen for my sister. “She’ll be out for a good hour or so, they wipe her out. She hasn’t had one for a while, and it sounds like this was a decent one. Just lay her on the couch for now. I'll get her a blanket.”
I walked down the small hall way to her spare room and got a blanket out of the wardrobe in there. Before I walked out I heard a whimpering noise. I turned around but I didn’t see anything, yet there it was again, a very distinct whimper. Of course, I hadn’t seen Fergus when I walked in.
I called his name softly and he came crawling out from under the bed. “Hey buddy. Some protector you turned out to be ha.”
I scooped him up in my arms and left the room, Fergus and Blanket in hand. When I walked back into the lounge room Bray was still sitting in the same position he was when I walked in. I came around and sat next to him draping the blanket over the back of the couch. He was staring at Stella. I knew that look.