BOOM: A Lovecraftian Urban Fantasy Thriller

by Ben Farthing

  "My only allies are the D.C. factions. And only when it benefits me."

  "I'm not talking about politics." Everard stood and brushed his jeans off. He tucked away the pistol. "I'm talking about the feline friends of D.C."

  Fitzwilliam stood almost nose to nose with him. His breath smelled like fish. "You're allergic."

  "I rescued George. Killed the reskinned who hurt him. And I gave him my sandwich."

  The Ailuromancer gaped. "You're not... he didn't... hold on."

  "If I'd left him, what would Undone Duncan have done to him?"

  Fitzwilliam's siblings and cousin stood in the doorway, Bethlehem behind Shadow. Roland looked ready to pounce with his claw out. They were longer and sharper than Fitzwilliam's.

  "That woman who shook his cage. She attacked me again later." He patted the flintlock. "She won't ever hurt another cat."

  "He's right," said Shadow. "I saw George after they got away from the Junk Shoals. That inside looked fat and happy."

  "I know what happened," hissed Fitzwilliam.

  Bethlehem whispered something into Shadow's ear. "Oh that's a good point. Everard also kinda saved George's balls."

  "I said I know what happened!"

  Everard hadn't considered that, and although it wasn't exactly how it went down, now wasn't the time to argue. "Your bent depends on the cats respecting you, doesn't it?"

  "I'm one of them, of course they respect me!"

  "That's why you're merciless with anyone who hurts them. And why you had to kill the rat lady."

  "I did that because I enjoyed it."

  "And because the sadistic little furballs would enjoy it. If they don't see you as the biggest, baddest housecat, do you lose your power?"

  The Ailuromancer shook with rage.

  "Do you want me to kill him?" asked Roland. "You can tell the cats I disobeyed your orders. Banish me from the city for a few months."

  "Yes, that might work."

  "Careful," said Everard, pointing to the purebreds who had followed them down from the top floor. "Little pitchers have big ears." It was a gamble. Maybe these cats were ultra loyal to the Ailuromancer. But Everard doubted it. No one was too loyal to spread gossip.

  "You can't let him go," said Roland. "He insulted you."

  "But he's a hero right now," said Shadow. "Can you afford that political capital? The Persians are already upset about the lower meat content in the Bright Feast cans."

  "They know I'm working on that!"

  Shadow held up his palms. "I'm just saying."

  "Tell you what," said Everard, "you already knocked me around a bit. Look at this, my hands are raw from the carpet, and I'm like seventy percent sure you cracked my rib. That should be enough punishment to maintain your reputation. The neighbors' cats will spread the rumor that you invited me over as a hero, and these guys here will spread the rumor that you kicked the shit out of me. Everyone believes what they want, and you stay on top."

  The Ailuromancer touched an extended claw to Everard's cheek. Everard didn't deny it.

  "It's not a bad idea," said Roland.

  Fitzwilliam slashed a two-inch gash in Everard's skin.

  "Ow, what the hell? I didn't have to let you do that." He wiped away blood.

  "And I didn't have to let you live. Think about that every time you look in the mirror. Now get out of my house." The Ailuromancer walked back up the ramp.

  "Now hold up," said Everard. "You said you know more of Inc's plan. Who are they targeting? The Burgesses?"

  "I've already told you what I agreed to." He walked away.

  Roland stared down Everard.

  "Let's get you out of here," said Shadow, moving to escort Everard past his massive cousin. Bethlehem followed several paces behind.

  Everard rubbed his wounds as they walked back through the fancy hallway, alleyway-courtyard, and savannah-foyer.

  He'd heard of the Jersey Devil and the Mothman from urban legend, but since he'd discovered the Periphery, the line between myth and reality was a lot blurrier.

  Chapter Thirty-Three

  Outside, crickets filled the night air with their chirps. The other guests had left, leaving only Loretta and Brian standing by the car, flashlights keeping away the darkness. Compared to the air conditioned house, the night air felt warm and sticky.

  Loretta ended a phone call when she saw Everard. As he approached his friends, his ribs rebelled in a flash of pain. He tried not to wince.

  Brian put his hands on his hips like a parent scolding a child who'd touched a hot stove, "what did you learn?"

  "I feel like you're expecting me to say 'don't pick fights,' but I kicked his ass."

  "Sure you did," said Loretta. "Now let's go. We need to meet with Mr. President and regroup."

  "What did you find out from the CTO?"

  "You're interested in helping now?"

  He still just wanted to go home and get away from all this. He'd sacrificed his relationship with Abby, but he still wanted his life back. He had a feeling that outing Inc had only been kicking the wasps nest a second time. Sure, the mud and wasp saliva was crumbling, but the wasps were still mad as hell. It made the most sense to stick around and stomp a few more wasps. "I'm interested in showing Inc what happens when they threaten and attack me."

  "You're either going to get yourself killed, or end up getting comfortable in the Periphery."

  "I'm not interested in staying involved."

  "We picked up on that," said Brian. "What with you saying it over and over again."

  "What did you learn from the CTO?" Everard asked again.

  "Exactly what the Ailuromancer said. He helped design a converter, and route the power to the Perforated Woman's machines."

  "So now what?" asked Everard. "Destroy the converter. Do you know where it is?"

  "Yes, and yes. Although technically I was hired to prove Inc was behind the booms, so first we'll go to the Burgesses and show them the proof."

  "Then who's paying you to stop Inc?"

  "No one. We're doing this for similar reasons," said Loretta. "You want to warn them off you, and I'm just tired of that smug look on Bowman's face. You might even be helpful now; I'm assuming you figured out your bent if you got away from the Ailuromancer alive?"

  She must have realized what he'd been attempting by ignoring her and staying behind. "It was stronger, but still inconsistent."

  "Maybe ignoring me isn't your answer."

  "Listening to you sure as hell isn't, either."

  "You're welcome to take off whenever you want. I'll even tell you what cities Undone Duncan doesn't have any contacts in, so you can effectively hide from all your problems."

  "I already told you, I'm sticking around until Inc's scared of me."

  "Then you'll do what I say." Loretta sat down and closed the door behind her.

  "Yeah, we'll see," muttered Everard

  "How'd you get away from the Ailuromancer if you're still struggling with your bent?" asked Brian.

  "I didn't take a cat to get neutered, then shot a lady in the head."

  "That makes sense." Brian nailed the line between sincerity and irony. He opened the driver's side door.

  A man in a suit walked out of the shadows from around the corner of the house. Leather soles tapped on the sidewalk drive.

  Everard drew the flintlock. "Stop," he ordered.

  The newcomer's face was too narrow to be any of the suits who'd been inside, and his gait too unsure.

  "Uh, Loretta?" said Brian.

  A floodlight with a motion sensor clicked on, and Everard saw the man from the CEO's office, the poor host who'd almost escaped and then got tangled up in one of the suits.

  "Everard, isn't it?" he said. "I'd like a word."

  Rage overpowered his exhaustion. Everard strode towards the prisoner in his own body. Maybe he didn't have the control over his bent like Bill Bill and Mr. President, but he could get creative.

  The suit stepped back, held up a hand. "Now hold on, I just w
ant to talk."

  With a small burst of belligerence, Everard undid every buckle, button, and lace on the newcomer's body.

  "Wait," said Brian.

  The parasite and its host stumbled, trying to hold up loose pants and undone shoes.

  Loretta's door opened.

  Everard shoved the smaller man to the sidewalk. He felt a twinge of guilt at scraping up the guy's hands, but he was pretty sure he'd be understanding.

  "Now hold on!" repeated the parasite. "I'm on your side."

  "The hell you are," said Everard, flipping him over and ripping off his jacket. "No one like you will ever be on my side."

  "I want to take down the CEO!" he shouted, as Everard pulled his thousand dollar shoes off his feet.

  "Fuck your politics." Everard yanked off the parasite's pants. As soon as they came free, the host doubled over, clutching his temples. "Are you alright?"

  The freed man jumped into a crouch, shirttails hanging free over white boxers. "Out of my left foot keep him away like three toes."

  Careful not to get to close to the suit lying on the cement, Everard eased toward him. "Easy, buddy."

  "Through thorough throughout birthday parties but no ice cream cake." His gaze leapt from Everard to Brian to Loretta.

  "What do we do with this guy?" Everard turned to look at Loretta. The moment Everard's eyes were averted, the freed man sprinted into the woods.

  "I guess that answers that," said Brian.

  "We should leave," said Loretta.

  "But what about him?" Everard pointed into the trees.

  "The man you just forcibly stripped?" asked Brian. "Personally, I wouldn't want to chase a naked man through Forest Hills. Someone will call the cops, and good luck explaining that one."

  "He's right," said Loretta. "Grab that suit and let's go. Only touch the outside."

  Everard carefully picked up the suit, shirt, and shoes and threw them in the trunk.

  They all jumped in the car.

  "He might have helped us," said Loretta.

  "He was holding that man prisoner."

  "That man is halfway to insane already. They get a suit on you, you start disappearing pretty quick."

  "Better insane than like that."

  "So back to the Hall of Burgesses?" asked Brian.

  "Yes," said Loretta. "But don't go down the driveway. Bowman's probably waiting."

  "Do you see another exit?" asked Everard.

  "I can maneuver through the trees," said Brian.

  Everard held on as the sedan bounced through the thick forest. A branch scratch across the door. They came out in another yard, narrowly avoided crashing into a swimming pool, and left Forest Hills through a different route.

  As they drove back towards the Capitol building, Everard gingerly touched his aching ribs. They harmonized perfectly with growing welt on his head.

  Better than the male/female vocals in the song Brian had playing.

  "Anyone have painkillers? Or more of whatever Fiametta was handing out this afternoon?"

  Loretta handed him a packet of aspirin. "Best I can do."

  Everard swallowed the pills dry. "Can we talk about what Fitzwilliam said in there? The Mothman and the Jersey Devil?"

  "Go ahead," said Loretta.

  "For starters, what are they?"

  "Scary as hell," said Brian. "The Jersey Devil is the fastest, strongest, hungriest creature on the east coast."

  "The Mothman is an outcast from a nook far outside the Periphery," said Loretta, "and it brought the physics of its home with it. Like the Ailuromancer said, both are apex predators. They hunt people. The Jersey Devil literally, the Mothman in less definable ways."

  "What happens when they fight?" asked Everard.

  "Aside from filling the atmosphere with enough energy to power the Perforated Woman's machine and kill hundreds of people? Lots of collateral damage. The Jersey Devil loose in the city will be like a bull in a china shop."

  "And the Mothman will be like a telepathic Salvador Dali in a china shop," said Brian.

  "How do we stop them from fighting?"

  "It's too late for that. The Central Nook will see a tornado or a hurricane. If they take cover, there won't be many casualties. Physical casualties at least. Not much you can do against the Mothman. Our best bet is to make sure their power isn't used for mass murder."

  "You're not going to try to stop them?"

  "I'm trying to tell you, I'd need a year to plan and a month to prepare. And I'd be the first one in history to stop something like that."

  "She's not lying," said Brian. "A few years ago, the Iku-Turso wandered into the Caribbean, which any idiot knows is defended by the Madre de Aguas. Their fight lasted a week and ended up flooding New Orleans."

  "All while every benter for a thousand miles tried to stop them," added Loretta.

  "You're really making it sound like we should be preventing this fight."

  "D.C. won't flood. Cities survive hurricanes all the time. But those thousand people can't just hunker down to avoid a bent-touched machine microwaving their insides. Our best bet is to destroy the converter."

  "We're just ignoring the fact that two urban legends are about to fight here?" said Everard. "I just about died to get that info."

  "I didn't ask you to do that. I told you not to." She opened the passenger door. "It's good that you did, though. You stood down the Ailuromancer. That'll scare people off you for a little while at least. Speaking of which, record what happened and send it to a dozen different people with instructions to distribute it if you die. See if Shadow will corraborate your story. Make sure the Ailuromancer's reputation gets destroyed if he kills you. Only seven more reality benters to go."

  "What do you mean?"

  "There's nine people in the city who can bend reality to their will, in one way or another. We keep each other in check through mutually assured destruction. You need a clear threat to seven more of us."

  "Including you."

  "I'll let you make that decision."

  "And what's your threat against me?"

  "I don't need a dead man's switch to get revenge on you if you kill me," said Loretta. "You're not good enough to kill me yet."

  "Fair point," said Everard. He rubbed his forehead. Was warning off Inc enough? None of the other reality benters seemed to care about him. "Oh, I'm an idiot."

  "Agreed," said Loretta, "but what tipped you off?"

  "I should have kept that video of Bowman. Used it as my standing threat against the CEO." They leave him alone, call off Undone Duncan, and Everard goes home. Except he already went and played his trump card.

  "That would have been selfish," said Brian.

  "Isn't that true of this entire mutually assured destruction thing?"

  No one had an answer for that. They sat in silence until they reached the Capitol.

  Chapter Thirty-Four

  They entered the Hall of Burgesses through the door on the Capitol building veranda.

  Inside, Bluecoats stood guard around the main hall, at least twenty of them. Everard guessed they were stationed at every other entrance, too. Civilian Burgesses hurried about, far more than Everard had seen before. It probably took a lot of paperwork to stop a supernatural terrorist attack.

  A few people in regular clothes hung about as well. Everard recognized the two Minutemen who'd saved him in Undone Duncan's workshop.

  "They look like they're preparing for war," said Everard.

  "They are," said Loretta. "Mr. President doesn't want an open conflict with Inc, but he'll give it to them if that's what it takes to stop mass murder."

  Another boom—only slightly muffled by being inside the Hall of Burgesses—paused the bustle of bureaucrats.

  Everard saw another familiar face barking orders: Mr. President's attendant, Minnie. She noticed them and hurried over.

  "Loretta, Mr. President would like a personal report about the information you've sent over."

  "Hello to you, too," said Brian.


  Minnie flipped through her clipboard. "And Everard, Bill Bill wants to see you." She walked away.

  "See what Bill Bill wants," said Loretta, "then meet me at Mr. President's office. I want to take out the converter tonight."

  Brian went with Everard. They found Bill Bill in the same office as two nights ago. He'd replaced the coloring book with a map of the city.

  "Everard!" the old man stood up. "You here to deny my limp?"

  Everard had almost forgotten about that. If he denied Bill Bill's limp, Bill Bill would protect him. That wasn't enough anymore. It stopped being enough as soon as the Lynch Mobbers tried to kill him in the Burgesses' own stronghold.

  "No," said Everard. "Minnie said you wanted to see me."

  "Right, right." Bill Bill set a paperweight on top of the map to keep it from furling. "I hear you've had all sorts of adventures today."

  "I decided to be proactive about my safety."

  Bill Bill laughed. "That's one way of putting it. You three have Inc running around like a chicken with its head cut off, trying to save face."

  "And still trying to kill a lot of people. You among them, I assume."

  Bill Bill scratched at his sideburns. "That's the assumption we're working under. Bermuda says the current machines could target three to five hundred people. That's enough for all the Burgesses, and the leadership of the other National factions."

  "What about us?" asked Brian. "Capitol Bohemia and the No-Goes."

  "Hard to say," said Bill Bill. "Inc is all about technicalities, which would mean you'd be fine. But this current CEO is more emotional than most. So who knows."

  "Did you call me in here to talk about this?" asked Everard.

  "No, to tell you that your sister is free."

  "What?" The news hit Everard as hard as the Ailuromancer's blows, which surprised him. What did he care about some woman he'd never met?

  "Ryker's free?" asked Brian. "How'd you do it?"

  "I didn't. A team broke into the submarine holding her, but she wasn't there. She'd already escaped."

  Everard had never met his sister, but that didn't stop him from feeling pride. "Wait. How do you know she wasn't just killed?"