He would be a little impressed with how many squirrels the person was able to catch if it weren't so close to home and obvious about the type of person that was doing this. There was someone else like him, maybe not exactly the same, but cut from the same cloth, that's for sure. Someone that wasn't afraid of death and that was actually curious about it. He knew he had to catch up to Mick sooner than later before they got a taste of the real thing.
11
Pax
The morning was cool in the city. That was a good thing. The summer had been rough when going on expeditions around the city. Luckily, they had the generators to take care of powering the hospital. The air conditioners still worked fine, and they were able to raid as many hardware stores for all the parts they had. Soon, it would be colder than they wanted and the air conditioners could take a break. Maybe it was a little too soon to go up north, looking for other communities to trade with, to make alliances with. But it’s better to start early, Pax thought. It might take them a little while to find people, then to build up trust. They were entering someone else's territory, hoping for trust, so they'd better show good faith first. If they waited until the summer, it would be too late for them. They would have run out of supplies, and it would be very difficult to grow anything with the blazing sun. No, now was the right time to go.
It was early, but everyone knew what they had to do. Pax was a leader, but he wasn't their mother. The others didn't need him to wake them up. Pax shifted from each foot, waiting for the rest of his group to enter the parking garage. He wasn't sure why he was so nervous. He had gone on an expedition every day since setting himself up at the hospital. But this was different, and he knew it. They were going to be gone more than just an afternoon. In fact, he wasn't sure how long they would be out. All he knew was, he was leaving the hospital to the other board members and people inside of it. They would be able to take care of it, he had made sure of it. That's why there was a board in the first place. It wasn't just that he didn't feel right becoming the sole leader of a place he caused trouble. But that if only he ran things, it would cause chaos if he ever left. And he made sure to leave every day, trying to make things better for those inside, so they didn't have to leave. So, they didn't have to see what the world had become. He already gave them a taste of that when he brought Guthrie and that was enough.
"Is Hector okay with this?" Pax asked, thinking of the boy he took a bullet for months ago.
"He's fine. Just wants to play with his friends anyway. Janet will keep an eye on him."
Pax nodded and continued to rock on his feet.
Vanessa placed her hand on his arm, causing him to stop shifting his weight. "It's going to be okay, Paxton."
Pax inhaled deeply and let it out with a nod. "Vanessa—"
She smiled at him. "I'm sorry. I know. It won't happen in front of anyone else."
"Thank you."
"It's a nice name, though. Not that Pax isn't, but it just seems to suit you, you know?"
He did know. He never hated his name, ever. Growing up he loved it. People thought it was unique, and he never got made fun of for it. As an adult, it was more common to run into kids named that, or a dog, but it was still just him among his peers. In fact, Stacey loved the name, too. That was the problem. He loved Stacey more than anything and hanging onto anything that reminded him or her just hurt too much. He was better off ditching the name, instead of being stabbed in the heart anytime he heard it. Besides, Paxton wasn't who he was anymore, not really. Maybe part of him would always be that, which seemed all the more reasonable to keep a part of it.
Pax smiled, realizing what Vanessa had done to him. "You really know how to manipulate me, don't you?"
Her deep purple lips spread into a grin. "I have no idea what you're talking about."
He turned to look at Vanessa. She really had gotten a hold of him in the past five months. He had nearly lost everything he once was. Guthrie had shown Pax how to turn his back and ignore himself. Diego had shown him how to step back from the edge of becoming the monster, but Vanessa, Vanessa had supported him through it. She had shown him bits of himself that he thought were long gone. She had been the only thing keeping him grounded and sane during these stressful times. He owed so much to her, and he truly did love her. He never thought he would say that about someone after Stacey, but there it was. Maybe they weren't soulmates, whatever that meant. But there was real love.
He looked at her eyes, the green eye shadow was high up on her eye lids. Her complexion was light brown, with a hint of pink to her cheeks. A little bit of a laugh escaped his lips.
"What's so funny?" she asked.
"I never thought I would meet someone who cared so much about how they looked in the apocalypse," he said, placing a hand on her cheek.
Her eyes went wide, and she grabbed his hand. "You never know when you're going to meet the next person who might save your life. I want to make sure I look my best if you get eaten and some hot muscular man comes along, saving me before I join you."
He frowned a little bit. "Wow."
She smiled. "Oh, shut up, I'm just joking. Don't look so sad."
"It's not that. I just hope that when you are eaten, the adventurer chick in her shorty shorts and mid-drift shirt I meet is into beards. It could go either way, but I would think that someone like that is into the grizzly looking men."
Vanessa let out an audible laugh. "More like a hipster wannabe."
He grinned wide and kissed her. The door swung open with Mark leading the others behind him. He cleared his throat, alerting the couple to their presence.
"Mark, is everything squared away?" Pax said, breaking away from Vanessa.
"Yeah Pax, we have the emergency medical supplies and rations for the road."
"You made sure and brought the extra medical supplies, too? The ones for trading."
Mark nodded, but he didn't say anything.
"What is it?" Pax asked.
Mark looked around, making sure the men that carried the crates behind him were out of listening range. "It's just that I don't know why we're bringing the extra medicine. We don't know if we're going to even find anyone. And if we do, what then? Just offer them some medicine?"
Pax smiled and put his hand on Mark's shoulder. He was the best friend that Pax had anymore, and he trusted him more than anyone else, possibly even more than Vanessa. He had nobody else to think of and could expect Mark to be straight up with him. It was good to have someone question him in a respectful manner from time to time. "I get it, Mark. But if we find people, we can't just show up and hope they share with us. If they see a group of people coming up to them, asking for food, what are they gonna do? Just give it up? No, we need to establish that we can help, too. Right now, we have some things they may need, but soon, they'll have things we need."
Mark nodded. "I get it. I just don't like the idea of carrying so much medicine around. And what if they don't help us?"
"Then we do what what’s necessary. I don't want to go down that road if we don't have to, but you and I both know better than anyone that we will do whatever it takes to save our people."
That answer seemed to make Mark happy, and it wasn't a lie. Pax would kill if he needed to, anyone around him should know that. But looking at Vanessa, it made him remember. It made him think twice about it. That's why he needed her with him. If she was there, she would keep him grounded, and that was what he needed. Mark on one side, Vanessa on the other. The three of them would make a great team on this expedition.
Vanessa squeezed his arm, and Pax nodded. It was time to head out. He stepped out in front of everyone. There weren't a ton of people going with them, but it was enough to make a small stand off if they needed it. He couldn't take too many people away from home in case they needed to defend themselves. Besides, there were also small expeditions going on in the city to continue to collect every last offering it had. No, the people with him would be enough. Vanessa, Mark, Todd, Carlos, and Eduardo. Eduardo? Pax went
up to his friend.
"Eduardo, I don't think this is the best for you. You're injured."
Eduardo shrugged and looked at his side. It was bandaged up, and he swung his arm around. "It seems fine to me."
Pax shook his head. "We can't risk you tearing up your stitches, or getting an infection."
"When did you get your medical degree?" Eduardo asked.
"What are you talking about?"
"I'm asking, when did you become a doctor."
"I'm not a doctor."
"Exactly, and unless one is here to tell me otherwise, I'm going with you. Ramesh gave me the all clear. Pumped me full of antibiotics or something."
"And he said it's okay for you to come?"
Eduardo shrugged again. "He didn't seem to like the idea much, but he also didn't say no."
"I appreciate it, man, I really do."
"Then you'll keep quiet about it and let me go. I ain't gonna take no for an answer."
Pax stared Eduardo down for a moment and sighed. There was no use fighting him. Eduardo was stubborn for all the right reasons. Besides, he knew nobody else that would put in 100% all the time. "Alright, but you keep up with the rest of us."
Eduardo saluted. "Yes, sir."
"Put your fucking hand down, idiot." Pax shook his head, leaving Eduardo grinning. "Alright everyone, I appreciate you guys coming. I know you may have been told we were going east, but there's a small change of plans. We're headed north."
There was a small collective groan from the half of the group who hadn't been privy to the information. "It's a little cold that way, don't you think?"
Pax smiled. That's what they were worried about? "Tell you guys what, we'll stop at the first shop and get you all heavy coats if that's what you're concerned about."
Not everyone seemed convinced. Pax opened his mouth, but before any more words could come out, Vanessa stepped to his side. "Pax says we're going north, then that's where we're going. It makes the most sense for everyone right now to do it. We can go east, west, south at some other time, but today it's north. I don't want to hear any moaning or groaning about it. If that's how it's gonna be, then you can stay here. We'll travel lighter without you." She turned to him and winked.
Pax was definitely glad Vanessa was with him. Sometimes, he thought the men followed her more than they followed him, and maybe it was partially true. Either way, as long as they were on the same page, they could lead together. "So, let's head out. We started early so we could get there early. Once we're out of the city, we don't know what to expect. There could be road blocks or hordes of the dead. We need to keep all our wits about us."
Everyone filled the two vehicles. One was an SUV that probably could fit the entire group if need be, and the other was a pickup truck. It was smarter to take two vehicles, not only to take the supplies up, or bring hauls back, but in case something happened, they always had an escape plan. They were headed into new territory, and this was not the time to cut corners.
Pax started up the truck and headed out of the parking garage with Mark in the SUV following behind. The guard at the entrance closed the gate behind them, and they were on the road. He knew there were enough people there to hold down the fort and keep them all safe. Still, he worried about them. They were all his people now, but the expedition was more important. If they didn't do this now, it could be much worse for them all later, and then it wouldn't matter if they could keep each other safe. People would start leaving, fighting, and probably dying without more food and trade routes open.
Pax headed through the usual mapped out ways in the city. They had made sure to keep the highway clear of most vehicles. It had taken a day or two, but it was worth it. All of the cars had been moved to the side, taken back to the hospital or stripped down for parts. The only thing that remained was clear road and the occasional soulless wandering about. On the surface streets, they had done similar things. It wasn't as straightforward, but it was enough for them to have safer routes when traveling. They had points mapped out where they could branch off the route to explore, making it safer inside of the routes. If something happened, they could go back there and expect people to find them reasonably quickly if anything happened. It hadn't failed them yet.
Passing it all made Pax wonder what they would find out there. Every day, he risked himself and possibly others by venturing into unexplored buildings and territories in the city, but it was still reasonably safe. They had the hospital to fall back to, like with what happened to Eduardo. If that happened when they were out on an expedition like they were on now, he could have died. Sure, they could patch someone up on the road, but what if what he needed was more serious? It was something that weighed on Pax’s mind now, looking at the hospital from his window. It grew smaller the further they drove down the road.
The highway was clear, as it usually was. Not many people ventured around, and anyone that did, either ended up dead or made it back to the hospital. He hadn't had a run in with a large group since Guthrie. He was thankful for that, but knew it was only a matter of time before they did. Hopefully, they weren't lulled into a false sense of security.
"You know this is the right thing, right? It's a good idea." Vanessa said, sitting next to him. She placed her hand on his thigh. There was nobody else in the cab with them. Mark and the others were in the SUV.
"I know. It's just sometimes—"
"You second guess yourself. You think maybe you aren't the best at whatever it is you're doing. Maybe we'll all see that you're one big lie and catch onto the fact that you have no idea what you're doing."
Pax swallowed hard. "Yeah, that about sums it up."
"You're such a man."
"What does that mean?"
"It means, you'll flip flop around, doing so many different things and maybe be great at some of them, maybe not so much the rest. But, you keep telling yourself you suck at it, which makes you fail more because you don't believe in yourself."
Pax raised his hands in disbelief. "That has nothing to do with being a man! That's just everyone who is unsure of themselves."
"Maybe. I've just known a lot of men who were like that. All big and macho, fake it till you make it types."
"You mean you dated a lot of men who were like that?"
"That's not the point."
"So, what is the point?"
"My point is, that's what you're acting like. But it's not who you are. It's not who you should be."
Pax crinkled his face and looked at her. Sometimes he had no idea where she was going with things. "Wha—"
"Don't you get it? You are the person that's made it. You don't need to fake it. The men follow you because you're strong. Because you'll do what it takes to make it through this shit. Look at us now. Do you think that anyone else would make the decision to leave the comfort of the hospital? To go where who the fuck knows what is out there? Maybe some, but not many. That's what makes you special. That's what makes you worthy of all of this."
Pax nodded and turned back to the road. Vanessa was definitely some kind of special woman. Even if he didn't agree with everything she had just said, he knew she meant every word of it. She was not one to blow smoke up someone's ass just to make them feel better. If she had a problem with the way he was doing things, he would be the first person to hear about it. There would be no talking behind his back or keeping quiet to appease him. Vanessa believed in everything she did. Pax wiped at the corner of his eye and cleared his throat, keeping the emotions inside. "Thank you," he finally said.
She grabbed his arm and pulled his hand into hers. "Don't make me regret backing you in all of this. If you go second guessing yourself, then you might as well just turn around now, got it?"
"Got it." Pax smiled when she kissed him on the cheek.
They drove for a while, making it to the end of their safety barricades and mapped out positions. It was completely into the unexplored now. Pax passed by the moved cars and began to weave around the few cars that were in the center of the h
ighway. Inside him, it felt a little bit freeing to be outside the safety of the explored areas. At the same time, it was frightening. He had no idea what they were in store for, but for the time being, it didn't seem too bad. There hadn't been a soulless on the highway since getting on it.
Pax saw the exit coming up which would break them off the open road as it turned west and onto the surface streets heading north. They only had to make it a few miles up before connecting to the next open highway at the edge of the city. There wouldn't be much for them when they got off the highway, but it was definitely going to be a lot more than once they were on the open road. He knew they had packed supplies and other items, but it didn't hurt to just check what was available in the nearby area.
He pulled off the exit, entering completely unexplored territory at the edge of the city. It didn't seem very touched. He passed by a few buildings that sat quiet, no soulless in sight. The only sound was from the engines of the two vehicles as they pushed on the gas. The wind blew a little, pushing the leaves and bits of trash along the road. A can noisily clunked along, settling into its home for the time being against a mailbox. Pax had seen new places in the city every single day just as empty. Just as desolate. But seeing them every day was different than getting used to it. He didn't think he could ever be used to the amount of silence and loneliness he felt in the city so empty.
Vanessa pointed ahead at the last building along the road. The road continued on, leading into the valleys and up the mountains. That's the way they were going to take north. But he looked at the building and back to Vanessa first. "Need to get some things washed?" she asked him with a smile.
Pax noticed the lettering of the store above the building. LAUNDROMAT. Not a very branded business, but he figured it didn't matter much for a business like that. Convenience and price were king when someone needed to do laundry, so why waste extra time and money branding the company when a dozen more could take its place. "You wanna stop?" He asked her.
Exodus: Soulless Wanderers Book 3 (A Post-Apocalyptic Zombie Thriller) Page 6