The Starting Line: Friends To Lovers

by Jennifer Hartley

  “You’re such an asshole sometimes!”

  “Yes, but you love me anyway.”

  Hailey sighs, rolling her eyes. “Sadly, that is true.”

  In the end, Jude changes his mind about his music selection, deciding his choice was a little too pointed for Hailey to comply. He concedes to one of Jacob’s compromise selections, which is a couple of years old. It’s Eavesdrop by The Civil Wars, a band from a few years back which has since gone separate ways.

  When he catches Hailey giving Jacob a dirty look, he wonders what they discussed without him, and why this particular song is one she agreed to, or if she did at all. Regardless, the tone it sets between them is not one that generates comfort and devotion. More like desperation and longing and fear of the end.

  Oh, that’s something new for him.

  By March, Hailey has already submitted the first very rough draft of her thesis. It’s a working, live document, one that changes as quickly as international affairs and daily attitudes. While exasperating at times, it makes her very aware of the world around her, both politically and legally.

  Occasionally she engages Jude in a discussion about things she’s learned or concepts that she’s milling over. Sometimes he’s a great sounding board, his mind very elastic in its ability to absorb and reconstruct information. Other times, it’s like she’s talking to a twelve-year-old who hasn’t a clue about anything outside of his little bubble.

  Today is one of those days.

  “I don’t see what the big deal is, Hailey!” Jude says. “I mean, I do, but what does Iran or Iraq have to do with what you’re doing at school?”

  “Jude, all I was saying was that the mistreatment of women and children in those countries has far exceeded anything even remotely acceptable. You making a stupid joke about women ‘knowing their place’ is not only chauvinist but perpetuating the problem.”

  Jude absorbs her words quietly, not having much to say in response. He knows she’s gotten much more involved in human rights, specifically those of women. It’s just that sometimes their talks escalate to incredibly serious matters too quickly, and he makes poor attempts at dissolving the tension.

  “Look, I was just trying to lighten things up, you’ve gotten so serious lately,” he replies, moving closer to her. “You know, more than anyone, how much I respect and value women.”

  Hailey doesn’t reply, just clamps her mouth shut and clenches her jaw at intervals. He hates it when she does that because instead of having it out with him and clearing the air, she bottles it up then explodes on him at a later date. It’s not pretty.

  So, he does what he always does, tries to provoke her until she either goes at him or walks away. He continues to needle her, but she doesn’t take the bait. Impressed with her absolute refusal to throw down, he becomes distracted by the way she furiously removes her gloves and fleece, pulling it over her head roughly. Beneath, she’s wearing that dark teal top that he loves because it makes her usually bright eyes seem dark.

  But when she turns to look at him, her cheeks flushed in righteous indignation, eyes that dark and stormy green, and her hair falling out of its bun, he feels like he’s been walloped by a horse. Sure, he’s seen Hailey in every stage and sort of gorgeous, but even now he is amazed that this particular moment is the one to steal his breath. Instead of saying anything, mainly because he’s incapable, he takes her hand and pulls her out on the floor, moving into position as the music starts.

  He feels the tension in her shoulders and arms, sees the ire in her eyes and the set of her jaw. When he moves into their lift, he changes the release, and instead of setting her down, he wraps another arm around her and pulls her even closer to him.

  Though this isn’t their signature lift, her head is still above his, and his lips are planted very fortunately near his favorite collar bone.

  “Jude!” Hailey squeaks, gripping his shoulders. “Put me down!”

  “No.”

  “We almost did the whole thing straight through, and now you’re ruining it. Come on, put me down.”

  “No, I’m good like this,” he replies, his lips grazing her skin at intervals as he speaks.

  She growls at him once, which he’s sure is supposed to be menacing, but is more like the most adorable sound he’s ever heard. He smiles and feels her grow even more irritated as she pushes her torso away from him. This throws off their balance, and he nearly falls but pulls them both back quick enough to avoid certain pain.

  “Trying to kill us?” Jude barks as he straightens. “You know my back can’t handle that.”

  “Then put me down!”

  “Not until you stop breathing fire and look me in the eyes and understand that I’m not trying to piss you off.”

  “But you are! Sometimes I just want to have a legit conversation with you, but you always make a joke out of it.” Hailey replies stubbornly, her arms wrapped around his shoulders at this point. She may not be aware of it, but her thumb is stroking the back of his neck. He’s also getting a little tired of holding her, but she has yet to give in to his demand. So he squeezes tighter, just like he used to do when they were younger.

  Sighing, she pulls away carefully this time, still irritated with a beautifully disgruntled expression. He can feel her breath on his lips and could count every eyelash if wanted. Without evening thinking, he angles his chin upward slightly as she drifts closer, their eyes closed in concert. At the very last second, however, he feels her grip tighten on his neck and hears her voice, low and breathy.

  “Jude, you need to let me go.”

  And so he does, gently.

  Chapter Thirteen

  It’s late; it’s closer to the morning than night. Of course, Hailey is wide awake. She thinks it’s because she’s in a strange bed. Either that or because Jane dropped a hot piece of news on her at dinner.

  She’s in Durm for the weekend, primarily to meet up with Vivian and Lucian and go over their programs with them and get some outside input. Jude is due to arrive in the morning, so it gave her an entire Friday with just her and Jane.

  At least it was just her and Jane until dinner when Jane’s boyfriend showed up. No, scratch that, fiancé. Yes, Jane is engaged.

  Everyone is engaged.

  No, wait… Hailey takes stock of her friends and counts three single ones. Hell, even Sandra and Gregory are together, and they’re still competing!

  Hailey turns on her side and huffs, trying not to be angry, but she can’t help it. Excluding Eric and Camille, she’s had four friends get engaged. And two are pregnant. This is ridiculous. What are people doing with their lives?

  She’s been on one date since she’s been back and it was such a bust that she contemplated climbing out of the window in the bathroom. What is she doing wrong? Why can’t she get this part of her life right? Everything else seems to be okay right now - school, family, dancing, but her dating life is in the dumps.

  “This is stupid,” she murmurs as she sits up slowly. She’s in Jane’s guest room, which is absolutely lovely, but her brain will not shut off. “Why does it even matter?”

  It’s not like she has time to devote to a relationship right now. She’s either busy studying, working on her thesis, or volunteering at the women’s shelter. Even then, she has to TA this semester, so she even holds office hours, which is a joke, because half the time it’s some sweaty second year trying to ask her out. Not cool.

  She shuffles into the kitchen and makes herself a cup of chamomile tea, hoping it’ll help her chill out. Thirty minutes later, she’s curled up on the couch, reading a Gillian Flynn book and drowsing intermittently.

  “Hailey? Wake up sleepyhead,” Jane is sitting beside Hailey on the couch, holding out a cup of coffee, filtered gray light streaming in. Scrunching her face, Hailey sits up, letting out a wide yawn as she takes the proffered mug.

  “You okay?”

  Hailey nods, giving Jane a reassuring smile, which she doesn’t buy at all.

  “It’s okay, you know,”
Jane sits back against the couch, propping her head up with her fist. “To feel frustrated. I mean, I want you to be happy for me, but I also know that this is hard for you.”

  “I am happy for you,” Hailey leans forward, grabbing Jane’s hand. “You, of all people, should have someone in your life that makes you happy and welcomes you home and holds your hand when you go walking.”

  “And you don’t?”

  Hailey pauses, frowning. “I don’t know anymore. I don’t know if I’m ever going to get that.”

  “Hailey, don’t be so dramatic. You’re in the middle of grad school, and you’re only twenty-seven. A lot of your friends are just in completely different stages of life.”

  “I know,” sighing, Hailey leans back into the couch. “But while I’m killing myself in the library, everyone around me is falling in love and making babies… literally.”

  She’s about to say more but stops when her cell-phone starts to chime. It’s her alarm, letting her know that she has thirty minutes before she needs to be at the studio. Shutting it off, she glances up at Jane and sighs, standing quickly.

  “Do me a favor and pretend this conversation never happened, okay?”

  Hailey drains the rest of her coffee as Jane follows her into the kitchen. “The only acceptable time for a pity party is after taking shots or before you’ve had coffee. Since neither is the case anymore, I am a new woman. All will be well. Mark my words.”

  Jane merely shakes her head and smirks as Hailey turns and promptly knocks off her shoulder on the door jamb leading to the hall.

  “Ouch. Meant to do that!”

  The last notes of the song ring out in the studio and Hailey pulls away from Jude, both breathing heavily. The last 45 seconds of the song are rapid and unforgiving, and they have yet to complete it without looking like they sprinted a mile, which they kind of did, but whatever.

  “Wow, that was…” David, one of the choreographers that work with Vivian and Lucian, stands still, jaw slack as he searches for words.

  “I know you two are exhausted, but that was magnifique. Absolument.”

  Jude glances at Hailey, grinning. They’ve been at it most of the day now, starting off rocky, but progressing rapidly with David’s assistance. They’re responsible for the brunt of the work on this piece, but he’s added the finishing touches that elevate this to something that will get the audience out of their seats and clapping.

  Because that’s what they do now instead of competing. Their goal is to get people to whistling and cheering, as opposed to earning that ever so important fraction of a point to help them win out over their rivals. Damn, he misses it. So much.

  He tracks Hailey’s progress across the floor as she moves to the benches to grab her water. She’s been acting strange all day, and he can’t figure out why. Then again, she’s barely met his eyes since he almost kissed her a couple of weeks ago. Which, all things considered, wasn’t that big a deal. Especially because he went home and had sex with Cynthia four times that night.

  Whenever she’s stressed, Cynthia needs something to take her mind off it. That tends to be running, video games, or sex. Jude can do all three with her and typically in that order. Yesterday, she left the hospital at 8:30 in the morning and made him late to work because she had a challenging shift and required his assistance. Twice.

  He’s currently ruminating over how beneficial the hot yoga has been for her when Lucian shows up. Pleasantries are exchanged, and he requests they repeat the last number. Hailey grins at Jude as they move out onto the floor, assuming their starting position. The music comes out loud and clear, and together, they begin again.

  But when they do a quick run-through of Eavesdrop, the one designed chiefly by Jacob, they end the song in the original positions of them facing apart and looking forlorn. When they turn to their small cadre of critics, they’re met with looks of sadness.

  Vivian, who came in at the start of the song, is the first to speak. “It’s beautiful but absolutely heartbreaking.”

  “Yes, yes, very tragic,” David nods in agreement. “I think it’s in much better shape than your other one was this morning; we will focus on this sad song tomorrow.”

  Eyebrows shooting upwards in surprise, he looks at Hailey who doesn’t seem even remotely fazed by this. When they pack up their things and agree to meet up again with Vivian and Lucian for dinner, he finds that he can’t let go of their reactions.

  “I don’t think it’s that sad, do you?”

  Hailey shrugs, looking wan. “Not sad so much as full of desperation.”

  Jude nods, agreeing. “That was the point though. When Jacob framed it for us, that was the intent behind it: two people who are fighting a losing battle.”

  “Oh, I figure once we explain it to them at dinner, they will feel justified in feeling that way.”

  Dinner is at a lovely restaurant not too far from Jude’s hotel. Hailey arrives with Jane in tow, who walks up and gives Jude a tight hug. When he pulls away to look at her, he feels a sharp object on her hand that nearly slices off his thumb.

  “Hey there, what is this?” Jude asks as he pulls her hand up to his face.

  “That is my engagement ring, silly! My fiancé just left for business, but he wanted me to tell you he’s a fan.”

  “Ah, thanks,” Jude replies, smiling. He prods Jane for all the details, hoping it’s the same guy she brought around last year. Shortly after, Vivian and Lucian arrive with their young daughter, Delia, and they all move over to a large round table.

  Throughout the meal, he keeps tabs on Hailey, who’s sitting across from him. She smiles and laughs in all the appropriate places, has a very serious discussion about nail polish with Delia, but he can tell her mind is elsewhere.

  He grows more concerned when they all part after the meal, agreeing to wait outside with the girls as the valet goes to collect Jane’s car.

  Jude’s having a lighthearted conversation with Jane, but Hailey is a thousand miles away, watching the traffic as it passes by. She’s got this look on her face he’s only seen a couple of times before, and he wants to ask about it, but something tells him she won’t be providing any answers.

  He gives Jane a kiss on the cheek and a hug, congratulating her again. But when he turns to Hailey, she’s already walking around to the other side of the car, giving him a quick wave before climbing in. Like she couldn’t wait to get away from him.

  The next day is like nothing ever happened. Hailey shows up with a smile on her face and is in good spirits. They move through their pieces, throwing in accents and flourishes at will. David and Lucian decide they need to change the end of Eavesdrop to something less tragic but more dramatic, so they are brought into the gym and practice various lifts over the mat.

  “No, no, no! I want something captivating! I want something that will take their breath away! This is nothing new. Nothing different. Go take a break and get lunch. I will have your ending when you return.”

  Lunch is a quick bite at a deli down the street. Jude tells Hailey about closing on the money pit, hoping to have enough profit from the venture to get something he’s been saving up for.

  “What is it? A new truck?’

  “Mmm no.”

  “A boat?”

  Jude makes a face, “hardly.”

  “Okay, I give up. What is it?” Hailey chews on the end of her straw, impatient.

  “Not so fast, Miss Morgan. I’ll let you know once the deal goes through. I don’t want to get anyone’s hopes up. Bad enough that I’m so excited about it.”

  “Oh, goodness. Now I really need to know.”

  “No, not going to happen.” Jude grins as he finishes the rest of his chips. “Hey, what was up last night? You were acting funky.”

  Hailey’s face remains passive as she shrugs. “Nothing really, I just feel like my personal life has taken a hit since I’ve been back. All I do is school and work.”

  Jude nods, understanding the sentiment. “You’ve only been back a couple of mont
hs though; keep that in mind. Not only that, but you’re in the middle of a very demanding program.”

  Hailey nods, but his words don’t seem to be helping. “It’s just that I feel like everyone is moving on while I’m stuck spinning my wheels.”

  “I think we all feel like that sometimes, Hailey. Sometimes you just got to keep spinning until you get some traction.”

  When they return to the studio, David and Vivian are gesticulating wildly, speaking rapidly en Francoise. Hailey picks up on bits and pieces, but Jude is lost. Finally, David stops, exhales, then nods at Vivian. She turns to Jude and Hailey, giving them a warm smile.

  “We were trying to iron out some details. Come, let us return to the gym; we found a clip of something I think you both can adapt.”

  They watch several clips of acrobats and ballet dancers, take bits and pieces and try to see what fits. After three hours and many bruises later, they think they have something that will fit Lucian’s definition of dramatic.

  When they get out on the dance floor, Hailey seems a bit hesitant at first, not quite comfortable with how close this lift has her face hovering to the ground. Jude isn’t too keen on other parts either. Essentially, they both expect to die at the very end of it.

  “Hey, remember that one time I had your crotch in my face and people called me carpet muncher for a year? I think I’d rather do that lift than this,” Jude blurts as he grabs her hands up.

  “Hey remember that one time we had to balance my entire body on your shoulder, upside down, and basically couldn’t breathe for ten seconds? Yeah, I’d rather do that than this.”

  “At least we’re in agreement then,” Jude replies as he strokes backward, trying to loosen up. If there were words to describe what exactly this lift was, he’d be impressed. The only problem is that it basically defies gravity and physics, something he thought they were done doing.

  It’s slow going at first, both trying to adjust a static lift to a fluid environment. After a couple of tweaks and a lot of cursing, they get it right. They do several run-throughs before Lucian returns, both growing exhausted with the demands of the piece.