Sex Material

by Ashley, Victoria

  It’s eating at me more than I thought it would… “I saw Jensen at the school today. He was picking up Benny Smith. Who is he to Jensen?”

  Veronica’s face turns white, as if she wasn’t expecting that question. Clearly, it’s something she’s not comfortable with, and that only makes me more nervous.

  “He hasn’t told you about Benny?” Her voice cracks on Benny’s name.

  I shake my head. “I need to know, Veronica. Is he Benny’s father? You don’t have to tell me anything else. I just want to know if he has a kid. It seems like something he should’ve told me after… Just answer the question. Is he?”

  “Jensen isn’t Benny’s father. The father has never been in Benny’s life or Katherine’s really. It’s a very long, complicated story that not many around here talk about anymore. But I can tell you this—he’s good to that kid, Cami. Jensen may put up a front and act like an asshole—the biggest one I know—but there’s more to him. A lot more.” She walks over to peek out the window, before offering me a small smile once she sees what I was just looking at. “I can see why you two would be good together. If you knew the old him, you’d see it too.”

  “What?” I let out a nervous laugh and wipe my palms down the front of my jeans, my heart pounding from all of the information she just gave me. “We’re not together, Veronica.”

  “That’s not what I hear,” she sing-songs. “I heard Benny wasn’t the only reason Jensen was at the school today. Just saying.”

  “Wow.” I rush to the kitchen and pour a glass of wine, my nerves getting the best of me. “Well, that sure got around fast. You don’t even work at the school. And it wasn’t what you think. He said it was so people would talk. I wasn’t sure what he meant by that.”

  “Yeah… well.” She stops and pours a glass of wine for herself. “Word travels fast when Jensen Blake is caught kissing a girl in public. People will talk about that over Douglas getting Susan pregnant any day. It’s easy to say it’s not a sight this town sees very often when it comes to Jensen. Unlike most guys, kissing means something to him. And doing it in public for people to see is a huge deal, yet for whatever reason, he did that for you. That says a lot. A whole lot.”

  There goes my heart again. If there’s one thing Jensen does, he keeps my heart beating at a faster than normal rate on a daily basis. I’m not sure how good that man is for my health, but I think I’ll be finding out.

  “I’ll be back.” I set my wine glass down and Veronica watches me with curious eyes as I walk past her and to the living room.

  “Where are you going, babe?”

  I stop at the door and close my eyes, preparing myself for what I’m about to do. “Next door to see Jensen. I owe him a thank you. Wish me luck.”

  “You don’t need it,” she says, right before I walk outside.

  I don’t know about that. I definitely feel like I need some luck as I make my way next door.

  I’m not sure if I’m about to make a huge mistake or not, but just like the first time I barged through this door, nothing can stop me at the moment.

  Without knocking, I let myself inside, my sight setting on Jensen as he looks away from the pull he’s currently changing on one of the cabinet doors.

  “What are you doing, Cami?” he questions stiffly, setting the screwdriver down. “I told you I didn’t need your help anymore.”

  “That’s not why I’m here.” I swallow and look him over, taking in the way his black shirt and jeans form to his hard body. Everything on him is perfection. Especially those lips that I’m now staring at like a fool. “There’s something I need to do.”

  “Yeah?” he questions, taking a step toward me. “What is it, so I can get back to work.”

  Without answering him, I walk over, grab him by the back of the neck, and kiss him hard and deep just like he did to me earlier today.

  I’m nervous of his reaction for a split second, until he tangles his hands into my hair and pulls me in deeper until I’m practically on top of him.

  “Fuck, Cami.” He breathes against my lips once we break apart. “What was that for?”

  “To say thank you for earlier,” I whisper through heavy breaths. “You didn’t have to do that for me—”

  “I know I didn’t have to, Cami.” He clenches his jaw and leans against the wall. “But the thought of Douglas doing anything to hurt you more made it an easy decision for me. That son of a bitch should’ve given it more time before being seen out in public with Susan shopping for baby things. Fuck, a public breakup first would’ve been key. I know how people around here talk. It would’ve been all over school, stressing you out. Now people will know you and Douglas are no longer together. They’ll know you’re mine.”

  My insides heat up at hearing him call me his again. “That’s the second time you’ve called me that, Jensen.” My heart pounds fast inside my chest as he moves in closer, studying my eyes. “You have to stop calling me that.”

  “Why?” He brushes his bottom lip over mine. “What if I want you to be but I’m fucking terrified to break you?”

  “I…” I swallow and close my eyes when his lips slightly brush mine again. “Why are you afraid of breaking me? What happened, Jensen? Is it because of Benny’s mom that you can’t let me in? What happened to her?”

  He stiffens and releases me so quickly that by the time I open my eyes he’s back inside the kitchen grabbing for his tools again. “I have shit to do, Cami. It’s time for you to leave.”

  “You can’t just do that, Jensen.” I walk over and snatch the screwdriver from his hand. “You can’t just say what you did and then push me away like it never fucking happened.”

  “You don’t understand, Cami, and you never fucking will.” He backs me up with his chest, not stopping until my back hits the wall. “I break people. I can’t do that to you. I won’t.”

  I swallow, my heart beating hard against his chest. I’m not as easily broken as he might think. Plus, I’m already down. How much worse could I be hurt? “Try me.”

  His eyes meet mine as he grips my face and studies it. “You have a good career and a good life. You have kids that depend on you. You don’t want me screwing that up for you, Cami.”

  “So do you.” I point out. “You have Benny depending on you. You can’t be as bad as you say you are. Open your eyes and see that. I already have.”

  Something in his eyes change the moment those words leave my mouth, and the next thing I know his lips crush mine so hard that it knocks the breath right out of me.

  My heart soars as his mouth captures mine over and over again, as if he can’t get enough of me. I can’t help but think about what Veronica told me about Jensen when it comes to kissing. He doesn’t do it unless it means something to him. I’m not sure what this means… What we are. But knowing I mean something to him is good enough for now.

  His kiss deepens and I moan out when I feel his erection press between my legs. This man has a way of making me want sex all the time. Doesn’t matter what time of day it is or where I’m at, I want him.

  He growls against my lips and his fists tighten in my hair as he pulls away, us both panting and fighting for air. “I need to show you something.” Grabbing my hand, he guides me down the hallway to the master bedroom, my heart racing with anticipation the whole way there.

  Once we reach the door, he steps inside first and turns on the light, before pulling me into the room with him. My heart skips a beat once I notice the color of the walls. “You did this?” I ask in awe, completely surprised that he’d do this for me. “When? I thought you wanted to keep the walls white?”

  “Why did you pick this color, Cami?” he questions, his icy-blue eyes meeting mine. “Tell me the truth.”

  I never thought the day would come that I’d admit this to him, but things have changed since the day I chose this color for my bedroom. “Because it’s color of your eyes and you have the most beautiful eyes I’ve ever seen. The moment I met you, I couldn’t stop looking at them. I thought
having my bedroom the same color would help with that problem.”

  He grins and grabs my hip, pulling me against him. “I knew you couldn’t keep your fucking eyes off me when we met, Cami. You tried so hard, but it wasn’t happening, and it won’t be happening anytime soon.”

  “Is that right?” I question against his lips. “You’re so sure of yourself, aren’t you?”

  He nods and bites my bottom lip. “Hell yes I am. You make me that way. Even though I knew you hated me, you couldn’t hide the fact you still wanted me inside you.”

  “You’re an asshole,” I whisper.

  “So you keep telling me. But…” He runs his tongue over my bottom lip, causing my heart to speed up.

  Everything he does is so incredibly sexy that I’m not sure I can handle it. “You want me to sink between your legs again, Cami. You want to feel my cum drip down your thighs. You will too. You’re the only one who will or has. Just not tonight.”

  Holy fuck… If I wasn’t wet before, I for sure am now.

  * * *

  AS BADLY AS I WANT to sink between Cami’s legs right now and fill her with my cum again, I hold back, because I want her to see a small part of me I’ve kept hidden since Katherine.

  I wasn’t always sex material. I was boyfriend material once. Would’ve even made a good husband until one mistake changed everything that I was and left me the man I am now. A cold-hearted asshole afraid of letting anyone in for fear of breaking them just as I broke Katherine.

  “I think I need some wine,” she says, her face heated from my admission. “A lot of wine, actually. I should go.”

  “I figured you’d say that. Come.”

  She follows me into the kitchen and I pull out one of the bottles of wine I stocked her cabinet with a few days ago.

  “How many bottles are in there?” she asks, sounding amused.

  “Ten,” I say, pouring her a glass and scooting it in front of her. “I guess you can call it a housewarming gift.”

  She smiles and brings the glass to her lips, taking a sip. “How did you know what kind to buy?”

  I open a beer and bring it to my lips, before speaking. “I asked Veronica.”

  She seems surprised and impressed by my answer. “I never would’ve expected that. Thank you.”

  I nod. “I was feeling generous that day. It’s not something that happens very often.”

  A smile spreads across her face. “How long have you had your two businesses? I’m hoping you’re feeling generous enough today to give me that?”

  I laugh and set my beer down. “I started Blake Construction shortly after my twenty-second birthday and Blake Rentals on my twenty-fifth. It’s been eight years since I started my first business.”

  “That’s very impressive. You were so young. There’s not many who can do that at such a young age.”

  “I started working at the age of thirteen and busted my ass for years to save money. Blake Construction started out small at first. Three guys, two of my best friends and myself. Once everyone realized how trustworthy and reliable we were, we got more and more requests from customers and it grew from there until Blake Construction started building homes. That’s how my second business started.”

  “Wow!” She gets ready to refill her glass, but I grab the bottle before she can and do it for her. “Thank you. I think I like you when you’re pouring me wine. Don’t stop.”

  “With the wine?”

  “With the stories, Jensen. I like it when you talk to me. You’re smart, driven, and successful. You should be proud to talk about your life.”

  I swallow and toss my empty bottle away before grabbing another. I’m going to need a few of these to keep talking. “There are things I’m proud of, Cami. But those aren’t the only things that matter, and that’s what makes it hard.”

  We sit in silence for a few moments before she clears her throat. “When I was younger, I used to think I’d be a writer someday. I surprised the hell out of myself when I realized my real passion was to teach. I wouldn’t change it for the world. I love my students and I feel joy when teaching them something new.”

  “I know that feeling,” I say, not thinking. “I get that same feeling when Benny learns something from me. It fills me with pride. I love that kid more than life.”

  Her face softens when I turn to look at her, but she doesn’t speak for a moment. “I should get back and finish grading papers. It’s getting late and I’m sure you don’t want to be here all night working.”

  I watch her as she takes one last sip of her wine, before wiping her palms down the front of her jeans. I notice she always does that when she’s nervous. I’m opening up to her and apparently, it’s getting to her.

  Well… me too.

  “Yeah.” I exhale and walk her to the door. “I’ll see you soon, Cami.”

  “Yeah,” she whispers, before walking outside when I hold the door open for her. “Goodnight, Jensen.”

  I step outside after her and light up a cigarette as I watch her walk through the grass to the next house. Once she reaches the porch, she stops and turns around to look at me. She offers me a small smile and I nod, before she disappears inside.

  Now, hours after Cami left and she’s still on my mind, consuming my thoughts as if she were right here in front of me.

  I know I shouldn’t go next door, but moments later, I’m standing on the porch. This may be a mistake.

  Fuck it.

  “I BREAK PEOPLE.”

  Jensen’s words replay in my head for the hundredth time since I arrived back at Veronica’s. I let it go when I was next door, because he’s the perfect distraction and he knows it. The moment he used his body and mouth on me, I let the subject go instead of pushing for answers about Katherine.

  Where is she?

  Is she in Benny’s life still?

  Does she still love Jensen?

  Does he still love her?

  There are so many questions I need to know. It’s driving me crazy, and it will until those questions are answered. I don’t understand what can be so bad that he’s not willing to talk about her. People hurt people. Whether or not we want to or mean to, it’s going to happen at some point regardless.

  It saddens me he doesn’t believe he deserves to be forgiven for whatever happened between them.

  A light knock sounds on the bedroom door in the middle of me going over assignments from the other day, before Veronica pokes her head inside.

  “Hey, babe. We’re turning in for the night. Want to tell me anything? Anything at all?” She pushes.

  “Not unless you can answer a question for me.” I sit up, hopeful, and her expression turns uneasy.

  “I don’t know, babe. What is it?”

  “Can you tell me who Lucas is?” It’s not the answer I need, but it couldn’t hurt to know. Whoever the guy was he felt the need to attack Jensen in a roomful of people.

  She exhales and nervously taps the door. “Lucas is Katherine’s older brother. He used to be one of Jensen’s best friends. It was Jensen, Ben, and Lucas, all day every day. They were practically inseparable back in the day.”

  “And what about…” I change my mind before asking anything else, because as hard as I know it’s going to be to get any answers about Katherine from Jensen, I feel it’s best if I learn about her from him. “Never mind. Thanks, sweets. Appreciate you telling me about them.”

  She smiles. “Night, babe.”

  “Goodnight.”

  I finished working over an hour ago and crawled into bed for the night, but no matter how much I toss and turn, I can’t get comfortable.

  “Dammit.” I sit up and run my hands through my tangled hair. Jensen is still next door, and I can’t help but wonder what he’s doing or why he’s there so late. As far as I could tell there wasn’t much left to do next door.

  I wanted to stay longer tonight, but the truth is, the more he talked and opened up to me about his life, the more drawn to him I became. The more I wanted for him to be more tha
n just my landlord.

  He made it loud and clear, though, that he’s not cut out for a relationship anymore. That he was terrified of breaking me, and I suppose, a part of me is terrified too. I’ve already had my heart broken once, I’m not sure I’d be able to handle it being broken by the hands of Jensen Blake.

  The hot-as-sin town asshole.

  I lay down and attempt to get comfortable again, but right as my head hits the pillow, there’s a knock at the front door, causing me to sit up again. “Seriously?”

  The guest room is closest to the front of the house, so I’m positive if I barely heard it, Veronica and Peter weren’t able to. I climb out of bed and head for the door, hoping and praying that Douglas hasn’t decided to show up to talk.

  He texted me earlier asking how I was. I ignored it. He doesn’t deserve to know how I’m doing or what I’m doing.

  When I reach the front door, I stand on my tippy toes to peek through the peephole, but whoever is outside is standing too close to get a good view. I’m too tired to really give a crap anyway. All I want is to get some sleep, so I unlock the door and open it.

  My heart does a little dance inside my chest when my eyes land on Jensen standing there in his leather jacket that I love so much on him. He’s so dangerously sexy that he takes my breath away for a moment, before I’m finally able to speak.

  “Jensen. What are you doing here?”

  His eyes lower to my lips before he steps in close. “I didn’t give you a proper goodbye earlier, Cami.”

  “What do you mea—”

  His mouth crashes down on mine, stealing my breath away for the second time within a minute. This man is dangerous for my health and this proves it.

  His hands tangle in my hair and his hard body presses into mine as his kiss deepens, his mouth owning mine in a way it never has before.

  This kiss feels different somehow. Like he’s giving me a piece of him, but all this does is make me want it all. Town asshole or not. I want Jensen Blake, and he just made sure of that in this moment.