The Complete Collection: Supernatural Dating Agency Books 1-6

by Long, Andie M.

  “Then cuth them off or go backth to the shop.”

  “I didn’t get them from a shop. I kind of knew Darius wasn’t working and so I just ‘popped’ there for a second to borrow them.”

  “They’re Dariusth?”

  Theo looked sheepish.

  “Didth he know you borroweth them?”

  “I was going to take them straight back.”

  I tried to demonstrate my frustration by letting my head flop back against the pillows. Here I was, handcuffed to the bed by a were shifter policeman’s handcuffs while I seemed to have grown fangs, and in the meantime there was a guest downstairs who needed my help.

  “Go geth them.” I screamed.

  Chapter Eight

  Kim

  Lucy was running Ebony’s shop until closing and that left me, Seth and Margret helping Jax to cope with the swarm of people who descended once Shelley and Theo had taken Ebony home. At closing time we were happy to swing the open/closed sign around and lock the door.

  “Jax, you’ll need some more staff at this rate.”

  “I know.” She stretched out her body and rolled her neck. “It’s killing me. I just don’t know what’s caused it.”

  “There’s probably been a mention in a magazine or on Twitter or something.” Seth suggested. “These things happen and go viral. It’ll settle down in a day or two, I'm sure.”

  “I wish I knew the future.” Jax sucked on her top lip. “If I knew it was going to stay busy I’d hire but I don’t want to do that if it might stop. Trust Ebony's visions to stop now. I could have asked her to read my palm.”

  “Well, I’m not going anywhere.” Seth said.

  “You’ve been amazing, but now go home.” She pushed him towards the door, or rather she tried to, but her five foot waif like frame versus his six foot muscular one meant he didn’t move. In fact if he hadn’t have been looking he probably would have thought a fly had landed on him.

  “Well, I’d better get back. Dylan will be wondering where I am.” Margret bid us goodbye and left.

  “I’m just going to ring and see how Ebony’s doing.” I told the other two.

  It rang a few times and then a faint voice came onto the line. “Helllooooo.”

  “Mary? It’s Kim. Is Shelley or Theo there?”

  “No, lovey, they’re in bed. Can I help you at all? You’ll have to be quick though I keep fading in and out.”

  I shook my head then realised she couldn’t see me.

  “In bed? What about Ebony?”

  “She’s fast asleep on the sofa so I’m keeping an eye on her. My son came home acting very possessive and whisked Shelley upstairs. I don’t know what happened while they were out but I’m surprised he wasn’t beating his chest or dragging her around by her hair. He’d gone all caveman.”

  I laughed knowing he’d met Seth.

  “Okay, well, as long as everything seems settled. I’m making my way home now as I need to get ready to go out later. Tell Shelley to call my mobile if she needs me.”

  “Will do.”

  “Oh.” Seth had puckered up his delectable lips and scrunched up his nose. “I was going to see if you wanted to come for a quick drink? Only I’m knackered and could sink a pint. I didn’t fancy being there on my own.”

  I had to admit that with the nerves hitting my body about my upcoming date with Darius, a drink was exactly what I needed. One couldn’t hurt, could it?

  “Sounds good to me. Let’s go. I’ll take you to The Marine. Have you been there yet?”

  “No.”

  We nodded at Jax. “Do you fancy a drink, Jax?” I asked her.

  “Nah, I’m buggered. I want my sofa. Enjoy yourselves you two. Have a drink for me.”

  * * *

  It was a ten minute walk to the pub which gave me a chance to try to get to know Seth better. I told myself it would help me find him a date but really I was just a nosy bitch.

  “So, are you from Withernsea? I don’t recall seeing you around here?” And I would have because you’re one hot fucker.

  “No, I was born in Hull. I just decided a couple of weeks ago that I was fed up and fancied a change. I was sick of going to Cleethorpes so I looked what other beaches were close and chose this one. Thought I’d do a few months casual work and then go back to Hull and my mundane life.”

  “I bet your life isn’t really mundane.”

  “I’m an Assistant Manager at a supermarket. Or rather I was before I handed in my notice and came here. They’ve promised me a job on return, but said it will be most likely back on the shop floor. I can’t seem to care.” He looked down at me, “how about you?”

  “Lived here all my life. Met Shelley when we went speed dating. We were supposed to find dates, but I found a best friend instead. Been working at the dating agency now for almost a year and a half. Got a promotion to run-” I was about to say the supernatural side. Shit, my mouth had been trying to get me in trouble all day. “To help run the agency with Shelley, now she’s all married. Plus the agency has got a lot busier of late. So that’s it. I live in a house on my own and at the moment I’m happy that way. So you said you were divorced?”

  “Yes. I’m renting a flat above a chippy right now. I’m going to get fat with a chippy below me, and a job at a coffee shop with the best buns I’ve ever tasted.”

  I looked over his buff body and the thought of tasting his buns crossed my mind. The firm ones packed inside the arse of his jeans. I really needed to calm my libido. Jeez, I’d bet I was ovulating. I was like a bitch on heat when I was halfway through my cycle. I’d need to be careful not to try to mount Darius when I saw him.

  “Yes, I agree. Jax has the best buns and the best coffee. If she ever tries to shut up shop, you’ll find me on the nearest bridge.”

  We reached the pub and went inside. Luckily there were a few spare tables. Seth chose one near a window and we sat down. “What would you like to drink?”

  “Erm, half a beer please. You choose which one, they have a lot of guest beers on here.”

  He nodded and went to the bar.

  Returning with my half pint and a pint for himself, he sat down opposite me. He picked up his glass and chinked it against mine. “Cheers.” He said.

  “Cheers.” I replied.

  He picked up a food menu. “If you want to eat here, it’s my treat. I’ve nothing to rush home for.”

  “Oh actually I’m going out.” I told him.

  “Oh.” He said, placing his menu down on the table. “Anywhere nice?”

  I was about to tell him about my dinner date when my phone buzzed with a text notification. Opening my bag, I rooted around, upending tissues, pens, my purse, a small hand gel, and some painkillers. I needed one of those handbag compartment things to help organise me, I thought and then realised that there was one right at the very bottom of the bag and I’d just been throwing things on top of it. Eventually, I located my mobile phone underneath it and lifted it out.

  Darius: An emergency has come up so I can’t make it. I’ll be in touch.

  I sighed. Huh, I’d bet there was no such emergency, and he was just putting me off. When would I get it into my thick head that he wasn’t interested anymore? What I needed was a nice human male to date and oh look, here was one right in front of me.

  “My plans cancelled so if the offer of dinner is still on, then yes, I’d love to stay and eat.”

  “Great.” Seth put his hand on top of mine. “Not that your plans have fallen through, but that you can stay for dinner.” He passed me a copy of the menu. “So my treat.”

  “No, I’ll pay my own way.” I told him.

  “Not a chance. Look you get them next time.”

  Next time?

  I sat back, placing my mobile phone back in my bag, and picked up my drink. “I think I’ll have a burger and fries. You’d better get a salad though, fat boy.”

  He tilted his head, raised an eyebrow and then slowly lifted his tee showing me a six pack, then he rippled his abdomen.<
br />
  I needed to pour my drink over my head to cool me down.

  “Think I’m okay a bit yet.” He said, winking, then he went to the bar.

  I watched his buns move.

  Fuck Darius. I was moving on.

  * * *

  The evening was fun, and we caught a taxi home, calling at my house first.

  “Just a moment.” Seth said to the taxi driver, and he ran around my side and opened the door for me.

  “How very gentlemanly of you.” I said.

  “I do my best.” He replied. “On a first date anyway. Can’t promise to be so gentlemanly on a second.”

  I looked up at him. “Is that what this was? A date?”

  “We spent time together and shared food.” Seth shrugged as he followed me up the path to my door.

  “I do that with my friends, I’m not dating them.”

  Then I wasn’t speaking anymore because my lips were otherwise engaged. Seth’s warm mouth met my own in a sweet, chaste kiss.

  “Thank you for a lovely evening.” He said, walking backwards down the path. “And we kissed, so I think that most definitely makes it a date.”

  I watched as he climbed back inside the taxi and it drove away. I wasn’t sure what I felt about the evening. Mainly as I was supposed to be out with Darius, not Seth, and I’d thought we were just grabbing a bite to eat as mates. Now I seemed to have a new boyfriend. Shelley was going to murder me for dating another guy off our own books. Was I actually dating him? I needed some time to think about everything. My mind was so confused.

  And then I saw him, standing across the street.

  Darius.

  He shook his head at me. He must have seen everything.

  “Darius, wait!” I yelled, running down the path.

  But he was a were, and even without shifting, he could still outrun me by a mile. He was gone before I’d reached the edge of the path, leaving me with nothing but the fading roar of a motorbike engine.

  There was no wonder Ebony was losing her mind with my antics. I was driving myself crazy.

  Chapter Nine

  Darius

  A few hours earlier…

  Alyssa kept smiling at me from her position on the sofa as I paced around the floor.

  “So what time are you meeting her?”

  “Who?”

  “Your date?”

  “Who says I have a date?” I shrugged my shoulders.

  “You’ve shaved, smell to high heaven of Lynx, you’re in your favorite jeans, and you can’t stand still.”

  She tilted her head at me. “Oh my God, it's with Kim isn’t it? That’s why you’re in such a state.”

  “I am not in a state.” I growled.

  “So what time are you meeting her?” She asked again.

  “Eight at Hanifs.”

  “Yeah, Boi.” She stood up at raised her hand for a high-five. Teenagers were so frikking weird.

  “Why are you so interested in my love life?”

  “Cos when it comes to you getting a mate it means mum stops looking at what I’m doing.”

  I narrowed my eyes. “And what are you doing?”

  She gave a big fake smile. “Nothing at all, big brother. I’m being my angelic self and behaving perfectly.”

  I placed my palm to my face and rubbed at my eyes. “I can’t think about what you’re up to right now.”

  “Exactly.” She mimed a mike drop and said the word, “Boom.”

  I started pacing again, then found her in front of me staring at me again.

  “Oh my God, what, Alyssa?”

  “Undo your top button. You look too formal on top. Now roll up your sleeves.” She stood back appraising me. “That’s better. Now take your hair out of that man bun. That’s so last year. In fact, we have two hours before your date and time to fix it. Let’s see if Zara is free to cut it.”

  “I’m ready. The man bun lives another day. Now sod off and leave me alone.”

  Alyssa rolled her eyes. “If you’ve been dreaming about her undoing your hair and running her hands through it I’m gonna barf.”

  “Out.”

  “It’s my living room as well as yours, dufus.”

  My phone ringing stopped further arguments. Theo’s name flashed up on the screen.

  “Hey, pal. How’s it going?”

  “I’ve got an emergency. I need your help.”

  My posture stiffened. “Police help, or friend help?”

  “Erm…”

  “Theo, tell me. I can’t help unless I know.”

  There was a pause. “Alas, I feel this may affect our future friendship, your trust in me.”

  “You’ve killed someone, haven’t you?”

  “No.”

  “There’s been a murder? Can I come, can I come? Is there lots of blood? I watch Game of Thrones. I promise I’ll be quiet.”

  “Just a minute.” I said down the phone, then I turned to my sister. “There hasn’t been a murder, now go and have underage sex or drink too much and just get from under my feet.”

  “Okay, bro. Very open-minded of you. I’ll be sure to tell Ma I had your permission when I’m a barefoot, preggo lush.”

  My mind was going to explode soon between delinquent sisters, panicked friends, and my upcoming date. I decided to leave my sister in the living room and head up to my own room.

  “Right, Theo. I’m back. You need to tell me what’s going on.”

  “Verily, I may have happened upon your handcuffs, looked after them for a time and forgotten the key.”

  All of a sudden it became crystal clear.

  “You rogue. Well I never, Theo Landry. We’ll talk about the fact you went through my belongings without asking later. Right now, on a scale of one to ten how mad is Shelley?”

  “Three thousand and twenty six, as a rough estimate.”

  “I’m on my way.”

  * * *

  When I arrived at the farm, Theo greeted me at the door looking even paler than his usual vampire self if that were at all possible.

  He clasped his hands in front of him. “Before you enter, you need to be appraised of the full situation.”

  “Okay…”

  “There is a seer on the sofa. She’s hungover because she has lost her visions.”

  “Right.”

  “My mum is looking after her. Now you haven’t met my mother yet but I think she will be making herself known soon enough. She’s currently watching over Ebony.”

  “Okay.”

  “Frankie and Margret are both on their way over to help with another delicate matter. I would be grateful for your opinion on whether I free my beloved wife now or later.”

  “Why would you not free her now?”

  “Please follow me upstairs.” He said and began to walk up the first step.

  “Erm, not sure about coming into your chamber, Theo. Isn’t your missus kinda tied up?”

  “I have put a robe around her. Only her wrists and ankles are on show, and… well, her mouth.”

  “Come on then.” I checked my watch. I was due to meet Kim in an hour, so the sooner I was out of here the better.

  * * *

  When I walked into their room, it was like a scene from a horror movie. Shelley was pulling at her handcuffed wrist, her mouth covered in red blood, and oh my fucking God were they fangs? She actually hissed as Theo walked in the room.

  “Get me out of these handcuffs now, you bastard. Oh my God, you brought Darius? How am I supposed to show my face in front of him again, you utter twat?”

  “Wife, you aren’t lisping anymore. Are you getting used to your teeth?”

  “Bite me, you motherfucker.”

  The image of a woman floated into the room before solidifying in front of me. I blinked twice and when I opened my eyes, there was a woman dressed in a long white gown, with dark hair in a bun standing in front of me.

  “I assure you there was none of that going on between me and my son, young lady.” She stopped in front of me and froze
in place, her mouth open. Her image trembled and then she moved and dropped to a curtsy in front of me. Looking up from under her lashes she spoke. “I don’t believe we have met. I’m Mary. Could I be of assistance to you at all? A drink perhaps, or I could launder your clothes?”

  “My clothes are clean.”

  “We could dirty them?” She giggled.

  “Mother, behave yourself.” Theo shouted.

  Mother!

  “I do apologise. She’s been dead a long time and so hasn’t seen many men in quite some years.”

  “Or had sex.” Mary added.

  Theo held his forehead. “So, on the rare occasion I bring a male to the house, she gets a little… excitable.”

  Mary winked at me and did a call me mime.

  “Mother, we already have been blacklisted from Domino's Pizza delivery and they’ll no longer deliver newspapers to the house. Could you please gather yourself?”

  Mary huffed. “I’ll go back to Ebony.”

  “Are you all quite finished?” Spat Shelley, a few drops of blood splattering from her mouth. “Only I could use some help over here.”

  “Do you see my predicament now?” Theo asked. “Do I keep her restrained until her mother arrives? She’s very volatile and unpredictable.”

  “Unfasten me, you wanker, or I’ll cut off your balls when I eventually get free.”

  I stepped forward. “Shelley. Shelley, are you in there?”

  She gave me the side-eye. “Where else would I be, Darius?”

  “Oh.” I said surprised. “I thought you were, well, possessed.”

  Theo sighed. “No, this is just my wife in a bad mood.”

  “Shelley. I will undo the cuffs, but only if you promise that no violence will occur. Your wrists will be numb anyway. While I do that, Theo, get some warm water and a flannel so Shelley can clean her mouth.”