The Complete Collection: Supernatural Dating Agency Books 1-6

by Long, Andie M.

  “Why is Dad not here?” Polly asked.

  “I asked if I could come alone because I hide behind your father. I have done for years. It’s time I stood up for myself. I told your father if he couldn’t accept both our daughters and their relationships then I wanted a divorce.”

  Gasps were audible around the room.

  “What did he say?”

  “He was rather stunned, but we talked for hours and he agreed to not inform the press of any supernatural secrets. It’s going to take time with your dad. He’s been very entrenched in thinking of everything being evil and that if he hangs around with supernaturals, he’s going to get possessed or something.”

  “Honestly.” I huffed.

  “Well, he’s said he will try and that’s all I can ask.”

  “So, you are okay with me being with Drake?” Polly asked quietly and cautiously.

  Debbie nodded. “As long as you’re happy, I’m happy, darling. Just be patient with me. It’s going to take some getting used to having a daughter who’s dating a-”

  “Siren/merman cross.” Drake helpfully added. “I just met my own mother for the first time earlier so we all have new experiences to get used to.”

  Drake and Debbie started to chat about his mother. I looked at Polly and raised my eyebrows. She just shrugged and smiled.

  “Looks like everything’s working out after all.”

  “Noooooooooo. Aaaarrrrrgggghh.” Kim screamed. I turned around to find her clutching her stomach. Her waters had broken all over my sofa.

  “Goddamn it, Kim. That sofa was a limited edition.”

  “I’m having werebabies. Fuck your sofa. I’m. Having. My. Babies. Oh my god, get my husband. GET. MY. HUSBAND.”

  Then Kim did something decidedly shocking and unusual. She went quiet. Then she pushed, and we heard a mewl. I lifted up her skirt to find a very hairy male baby there.

  “Oh my god, you’ve had one of them already. I don’t want to ask why you were sans underwear.”

  Kim glared at me. I couldn’t reach to get any on, you dirty-minded whore. “Aaaarrrrggghhh. It’s happening again.”

  Once more she grunted, pushed and writhed, and after another couple of minutes another son was delivered. I placed the second on her chest alongside the first and she looked down at them and burst into tears. “My babies. My beautiful babies.”

  I started crying too. It was a wonderful emotive moment until the mood was broken by my door breaking clean off its hinges and a crazed husband running in. “Sorry, I’ll get it fixed. Oh my god, we have two babies.” He peered over. “Two sons. I can’t believe I missed their births.”

  “Arrrrrrrggghhh.”

  “Well you’re here for the third.” I said.

  But when Kim delivered the third, a baby girl, she came out quiet and blue.

  “What’s the matter?” Kim was hysterical. “Why is she not crying?”

  “What can we do?” Theo, who had worked as a physician back in the day had followed the sound of the crashing door. He stepped in and picked up the baby. After clearing her airways, he looked at me. It wasn’t good.

  “Please let me hold the baby,” Polly said, taking her tiny body from Theo’s hands. We watched as she closed her eyes. A golden hue came from her hands and the baby vibrated slightly in her arms. The baby’s skin began to pink up and then she let out a terrific scream.

  “Oh my god. Oh my god. You saved my baby.” Kim said as the little girl was added to the collection on her chest. “Thank you. Thank you so much.” Tears fell freely down her and Darius’ face. In fact, when I looked around there wasn’t a dry eye in the house.

  “How did you…?” Debbie uttered.

  “I’ve been able to heal myself since I was fifteen, though I didn’t know I could heal anyone else until a few days ago. I believe that when Shelley healed me she passed on her gift.” Polly lifted up a piece of paper from the coffee table and slit it across her finger. The cut bled and didn’t heal.

  “As I thought. I’ve passed it on. Your daughter will probably have the ability to heal herself at some point in her life and maybe others. If she makes a large life-saving sacrifice my guess is the gift will transfer.”

  “Thank you,” Kim sniffled.

  “And now I know that paper cuts sting like a bitch.” Polly laughed, and it helped break the tension in the room.

  “Let’s leave the parents to it.” I said. “It’s been a hell of a day.”

  Chapter Twenty

  Polly

  “What happens now?” I asked Drake as he followed me into my room.

  He moved in closer to me and swept down for a kiss. “That for a start.” His breathing quickened, then he pulled back. “But I’m guessing that’s not what you meant? You mean what’s next for us? Well, I think we should continue dating, and living between here and the sea, until one day I take you completely by surprise and propose. That sound good to you?”

  I bit my lip. “That sounds like heaven.”

  Drake shook his head.

  “I can give you heaven right now, my beautiful maiden.”

  He picked me up and carried me to the bed.

  Afterwards, when I woke wrapped in his arms, I felt peace for the first time in a long while. I didn’t know how long it would last for, given I had to get used to life under the sea, but for now I would make the most of it.

  Alongside the man I loved.

  Epilogue

  Rewind… a few hours earlier.

  Satan mark one - resurrected

  Oh Shelley, thought the small ball of dark energy that materialised in Beached, right where it had been previously vanquished. You made a binding deal with me that you wouldn’t match-make anyone supernatural and yet earlier today your words to your sister who possessed the power to heal and was ‘on a break’ from her supernatural boyfriend were ‘go get your man’, at which point she and Drake kissed and got together. Thus, you broke our agreement. And thanks to that break I am now resurrected, though I cannot return to my original body or employment as that position is taken.

  The ball, invisible to the naked eye, moved automatically toward the farmhouse. Images and information swept into the ball, causing it to enlarge slightly.

  Inside, the old Satan could see the woman herself, surrounded by some kind of chaos as the werewolf gave birth. Wow, it was the woman he’d tried to incinerate from the inside out who’d given birth to werebabies no less. He assessed the newborns. Too young. He couldn’t take over them.

  But he learned of a husband who remained in fear of supernatural beings, and what was that? He had a fear of being possessed? Oh, how ironic.

  Satan plucked the address of Mark Linley from his wife’s mind and the ball moved on to an address in Hull.

  Miles away in Lanzarote, where she was enjoying the final sleep of her honeymoon before she travelled home later that day, a Seer awoke screaming.

  “The war. It’s started.”

  THE END

  Phwoar and Peace

  Prologue

  Satan

  Satan mark one - resurrected

  Since they had vanquished me, I’d been in a state of nothingness. I existed, but I didn’t. Like being in a black room, with no sounds, and spending 99.9% of time asleep.

  Then something had changed. Like the spark of a pilot light, a tiny glow filled the black space. I didn’t know how, but I could detect I was nothing but a tiny collection of dark matter. Thoughts and images began to fill the void.

  I saw a vision of Shelley bloody Landry. She was under the sea by the looks of it. I saw a bride run off with, was that Simon Cowell? And then I saw Shelley tell her sister to ‘Go get your man’.

  Ha!

  She had made a binding deal with me that she wouldn’t match-make anyone supernatural and here she had just broken it. For Drake was a supe and at her words Polly and Drake moved towards each other, kissed, and got together.

  Ha!

  But now what? I was back, but not much use in this state. T
hey had filled my previous position as Satan after they had vanquished me, so what did I do next?

  More images came into view as the dark matter I was developed sight. I was in Beached, the restaurant where I had been vanquished. It made sense I would return to the same spot.

  I felt myself called toward the farmhouse. Images and information swept into me, causing my ball of energy to enlarge slightly.

  As I hovered outside of the farmhouse window, I saw the small top window was open and I swept inside. Oh dear. Looked like any wards Shelley had put up to keep the family safe didn’t work against a ball of something unidentifiable. What a shame! Moving into the living room, images swept into me of the werewolf giving birth. Wow, it was the woman I’d tried to incinerate from the inside out. She’d given birth to werebabies no less. I assessed the newborns. Too young. I couldn’t take over them.

  But I learned of a husband who remained in fear of supernatural beings, and what was that? He had a fear of being possessed? Oh how ironic.

  I plucked the address of Mark Linley from his wife’s mind and moved on to an address in Hull.

  It was so kind of Mark to also have left a window open. Once I took over his body, I realised it was one of his wife’s pet hates. Always opening windows, even when it was freezing cold outside. I needed to practice walking in this middle-aged body. My last one, the vampire Reuben’s, had been a lot more aesthetically pleasing. I vowed to join a gym first thing in the morning. This getting Withernsea back under my rule was not to be rushed; my evil plans would have to stay on the down low until the time was right to make my move. I couldn’t take Withernsea back if I couldn’t run to the bus stop without collapsing.

  I walked over to the window and closed it firmly. Wouldn’t want to annoy my little wifey. It had been a while since I’d got some. Mrs Debbie Linley was in for a devil of a time and one hell of a ride with her new hot husband…

  Chapter One

  Shelley

  “Theo, I don’t know about getting the bed-and-breakfast open soon, with the amount of people we have here, I think you are already up and running, albeit not being paid.”

  After the events of the day I could have done with a hot bath and an early night with a good book, and yes, I said book. However, I had come home to find my best friend on my best sofa where she promptly soaked it in amniotic fluid before birthing her triplet cubs. She never did do things by halves. Right now, I had the new mom, daughter, two sons, and a brand-new overprotective alpha werewolf father in my living room; my adoptive mother, and my daughter in the kitchen; and my sister and her boyfriend had disappeared upstairs, most likely to do things I didn’t want to visualise.

  “Yes, indeed. I think this week I will finalise all my plans for the bed-and-breakfast to get it open as soon as possible. That way the rooms will hopefully be full to capacity, and will therefore prevent half of our family and friends in Withernsea from turning up here every five seconds.”

  “If it’s okay with you, Theo, I will go to your office to order a new sofa. Once Kim and Darius finally leave, if you could use that special vampire speed to whizz my now ruined sofa off to the tip, I’ll steam the carpet.”

  I wasn’t sure I’d ever be able to sit in my living room again without the harrowing image of my best friend's vajajay hurtling into my mind. I’d come to expect the unexpected with Kim, but on this occasion she had surpassed herself. It was only the fact that I now had three new babies I could cuddle that meant I’d forgive her for ruining my best sofa. With Charlene’s rapid growth I’d not been able to enjoy much of the baby stage, so with any luck if I could get past the new father I’d be able to have lots of baby cuddles.

  The kitchen door opened and my adoptive mum walked through into the hallway. “I’m going to make my way home now, Shelley, as your dad has just called to tell me he’s cooked dinner. I should’ve threatened him with divorce 15 years ago. He said again how he wants to get to know all of you better, but given he has only recently threatened to out all supernaturals, he understands it will take you a while to trust him. So in the meantime he's leaving it for me to pave the way.”

  She wasn’t kidding. It was going to take more than one message through my mother to believe Mark Linley had suddenly changed his ways. Right now, I had other priorities.

  As she stood in the doorway, Debbie turned back to me, “Say goodbye to Polly for me. It was a shame her headache came on like that. I hope Drake is looking after her properly. Anyway, I’ll be off. After tea, I have all my selfies with Simon Cowell to show the neighbours.”

  Thank God the photos would just appear to have been taken in an elaborate building and that the water didn't show on photos. Closing the door behind her, I let out a large sigh. I decided I needed a large cup of Jax’s coffee before I did anything else. Even ordering the new sofa would have to wait while I sat at my kitchen table and took five. Charlie was already sitting there. She took one look at my face, jumped up, and switched the kettle on while getting the coffee and a mug out of the cupboard.

  “It was a bit selfish of Auntie Polly to disappear upstairs with Drake. It’s not like any of us believed she truly had a headache. We all know she's gone upstairs to shag his brains out.”

  “Charlie! Watch your language.”

  “Oh come on, Mum. You need to have a word with her. It’s not fair leaving us to have to put up with Debbie.” She finished making me a coffee and placed it in front of me at the table. “I’m going up to my room now. It’s been a long day, and I need to ring Alyssa to see what’s going down with her and the barista.”

  There was a roar from the living room. The door rattled on its hinges and an angry alpha male thundered into the kitchen.

  “Charlie, what’s this about someone going down on my sister?” He looked ready to rip off heads.

  “Darius, that’s not what she said. Charlie is going to ring Alyssa to see what’s going down with her and Bartholomew, the barista.” I was going to get a headache if I rolled my eyes any more today.

  A tumultuous growl rattled the kitchen windows.

  “Mum, I don’t think that’s helping.” She looked at Darius. “Don’t worry, nothing is going on between them. Alyssa just has a girl crush, like a teen thing. Anyway, once she knows she has a new niece and two nephews, she should be far too busy for boys.”

  With this, Darius visibly relaxed. His shoulders dropped away from his ears and he let out a large exhale. “Sorry, some kind of biological protection mode seems to have set in making me some kind of supercharged alpha. I apologise if I have broken even more furniture or doors.”

  “I’ll get you a coffee, Darius.” Charlie said.

  “Forget that.” Theo told her, coming into the kitchen. “Darius, let me get you a beer to celebrate and wet the babies heads.”

  “So I push three babies out of my hooha and he gets alcohol? Get back in here, Darius Wild, this instant.” Kim's voice echoed off the walls.

  “Looks like I’m going to have to wait. Raincheck, though?”

  “Sure.” Theo replied.

  “Yeah, raincheck until the kids have left home, mate. No way are you leaving me at home with three screaming children while you go out on the piss. That’s my job.” Kim hollered through the open door of the living room. “Now, when you’ve all finished, do you think someone could bring me a coffee? Also, Shelley, I know your clothes are on the large size for me, but do you have something I could wear, only I’m sitting here in a damp dress with a towel between my legs.”

  She’d get ‘clothes on the large size’. For that she could wear my unicorn onesie, the cow. The supposed horn on its head looked like a penis gone wrong. That was the problem with random internet purchases. Things didn’t always look the same as on the photos when they arrived.

  I excused Charlie from making the drinks and let her escape to her room. Darius went back in to Kim, taking his mobile phone from his pocket ready to ring his family to tell them about the new arrivals. He reassured me that shortly he, Kim, and the
babies would be on their way back home and that we wouldn’t be getting the entire Hogsthorpe pack arriving at the door at any moment.

  I closed my eyes for a time while I sat in the kitchen. I inhaled the wonderful aroma of the coffee and tasted a delicious mouthful.

  “Are you bringing me some clothes or leaving me to freeze to death? You just enjoy a drink after your hard day schmoozing with Mr Cowell. It’s not like I want to get in my own bed or anything.”

  For the love of God. I’d spent the day smoothing out the politics of the sea and dealing with a hysterical sister, and now I was dealing with my belligerent bestie. All I’d wanted was one damn coffee in peace. I ran upstairs and got the onesie out and brought it down. I burst into the living room, and once I could see she wasn’t holding any of the newborns, I threw it at her. “There are some pants, a few sanitary pads you are lucky I found because I don’t have any of that any more being undead, and this nice cosy onesie.”

  She gave me a look that would have killed the Grim Reaper himself.

  “I hope you get a hearty satisfaction from watching your best friend, who is exhausted from birthing three babies, dress in this heinous outfit. This is how the pack will greet me when I get home.” She dressed in it and pulled up the hood. I could see Darius was struggling to keep a straight face. “It is actually extremely comfortable.” She tipped her chin at me. “I may adopt onesies as my new daily attire.”