Batty Blend (A Paramour Bay Cozy Paranormal Mystery Book 13)

by Kennedy Layne

  Rye was blinking rather rapidly, reminding me of how Eileen had reacted moments before. He appeared to be a little lost in our conversation, but I didn’t have time to explain everything that we’d found out in detail. From his confused expression, it was safe to bet that he had no idea a vampire even resided in Paramour Bay.

  It made me feel better to know that Nan hadn’t missed anything.

  It wasn’t like witches had the noses of a werewolf, so it stood to reason that the visiting vampire had centuries to perfect his comings and goings without detection.

  “Was that what was hanging on for dear life onto Leo’s back?” Rye asked skeptically, peering around me in hopes of spotting my familiar. “You don’t think it has rabies, do you?”

  “How could you have missed all the excitement today?” I asked in disbelief, feeling a lot better now that I’d been standing still for a few minutes. I just hoped that Rye was smart enough not to mention the R disease around Leo. The last thing I needed right now was for him to think he had rabies. “Janice somehow rescued a hairy-legged vampire bat with an injured wing. He can’t be released back into nature if it doesn’t heal, so she was going to try to find someone to adopt him. Anyway, she thinks that she left some of the enclosures open—one of them belonging to said bat. He’s now missing.”

  “Not anymore,” Rye murmured, still scanning the road and sidewalks for any sign of Leo. “I met Rowena for breakfast. She’s still trying to figure out how to get the Windsor Stone to work so that she can talk to your ancestors. I don’t believe that she knows anything about this vampire mystery. Trust me, she would have said something to me if she thought that a vampire was living in Paramour Bay.”

  Rye’s answer pretty much confirmed my suspicions that the only supernatural being aware of the bloodsucking resident was Harry.

  Not to derail from our current predicament, but I realized that there were a lot of open-ended issues with all that came with being a witch without a coven. The Windsor Stone had been the sole reason for the recent cover war. Two factions had wanted to awaken its special abilities so that they would to be able to speak with our ancestors. The special monolith had stopped working around the time that Nan had been summarily excommunicated, though no one in the coven seemed to have made the connection between Nan and the stone going dormant.

  What the council could never know—nor anyone else, for that matter—was that Leo was the key due to him being Nan’s very special familiar.

  “I don’t want anything to do with the Windsor Stone,” I said firmly, hoping to keep the pretense going so that Rye wouldn’t suspect a thing. That wasn’t an easy thing to do when I was a horrible liar, so I quickly switched the topic of discussion back to Leo and the fact that he was currently being attacked by a vampire bat. “We need to find Leo and that bat.”

  “I’m pretty sure that he just found us,” Rye said, pointing somewhere behind me.

  I turned to find Leo stumbling up the sidewalk looking worse for wear. Now probably wouldn’t be a good time to tell him that he could have simply done one of his disappearing acts to get rid of the vampire bat. Fear and panic had a way of taking away his ability to think rationally.

  “Leo, were you bit?”

  I backhanded Rye’s arm lightly, still not wanting him to go down the rabies road.

  I’m being attack by a creepy fanged beast, and you’re standing around on the corner of an intersection having a casual conversation with this card shark? Where on earth is your sense of priority? It needs work, Raven.

  “For the millionth time, I don’t cheat at poker,” Rye denied with a frustrated sigh. “You’re just smoking too much catnip on Wednesday nights.”

  “Leo, I couldn’t keep up,” I explained, glancing down at my sandals. I’m not sure if I would have been able to run faster in running shoes, but I wasn’t going to point that out. “Are you okay?”

  Do I look okay to you? I think that my tufts have new tufts. That purple people eater came out of nowhere. He wanted my blood, Raven! All of it!

  “Did Count Cuddles actually try to bite you?” I asked calmly, running my fingers through the fur around his neck. “Honestly, the poor thing looked to be hanging on to you for dear life. He might have just been scared and was hoping that you would help him.”

  My explanation behind Count Cuddles’ rodeo wasn’t having the calming effect that I’d hoped it would, but Rye finally jumped in to help.

  “Leo, I’m impressed,” Rye said with what sounded like admiration. I suppressed an eyeroll as I continued to check Leo over to make sure that he hadn’t been injured in any way. “You kept your cool, made that bat ride you like a bronco, and came out without a scratch on you. There was no way that vampire bat could hang on to a wildcat like you. Way to go, champ!”

  Well, when you put it that way…

  “Where is Count Cuddles?” I asked, scanning the entrance to one of the neighborhoods. There was no sign of the vampire bat, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t getting ready for another ambush. It was hard for me not to cover my head. “Did you see where he went? I mean, he can’t fly.”

  I had no choice, Raven.

  I stood with a horrified gasp, grateful that my back was to the sun so that Leo could feel the weight of my revulsion. Leo might put up a good front about being the king of his territory, but he’d never…ever…ever…hurt another animal.

  What is wrong with you? I swear, there is something wrong with your brain. I meant that I had no choice but to dive headfirst into Mr. Jenkins’ petunias. You’ll need to reimburse him for the damage, of course. I’m pretty sure Count Fangs-A-Lot has taken up a new residence among them, though.

  “Lead the way, Raven,” Rye directed, already resigned to the fact that we were going on a scavenger hunt for a vampire bat. “Leo, did you say that he was purple?”

  Well, not really, but it’s that shiny black that gives off a purple sheen in the sunlight. My soulmate had nail polish that color, and…

  I stared in disbelief as Rye and Leo began to make their way down the sidewalk toward one of the neighborhoods as if nothing unusual had occurred within the last ten minutes and they weren’t poker enemies. I often wondered when my life had gone off the rails, but I still wouldn’t change a thing…even with a secretive vampire in our midst.

  It was a good thing that I had one of those stick-on pockets on the back of my phone where I kept a fifty-dollar bill. No doubt that I would have to fork over the cash for any damage done to…

  I stopped midstride when it dawned on me whose house we were actually going to, and I called out to Rye and Leo to stop them before we got too close to Mr. Jenkins’ residence. I hastily caught up to them to fill them in on the names that Eileen had given me of the men who weren’t born and raised in Paramour Bay.

  “Raven, we shouldn’t jump to conclusions,” Rye warned, running a hand through his dark hair. “I already told you that we would know if a vampire lived in Paramour Bay. Aunt Rowena does her best to keep tabs on the surrounding areas. I find it hard to believe that a vampire could go undetected in the town.”

  The Wicked Witch of Windsor might have met her match in Mr. Jenkins, cheater. We should find out. I’m sure that he won’t mind the bitter taste of whatever flows through her veins. We might luck out and no longer have to deal with—

  “Leo,” I exclaimed, managing to cut off his mean-spirited rant about Aunt Rowena before he said something that he couldn’t take back. “You’re right about one thing, though. We need to bring in reinforcements.”

  I liked my idea better. One rock, one bat, two petunia bushes.

  “That makes absolutely no sense, Leo.”

  That’s just because you’re horrible at math. Not everyone can be a genius like me, Raven, especially with those mental antioxidants running through my bloodstream.

  “Now what?” I muttered when Leo let out a horrified gasp.

  “There’s no such thing as—”

  Rye stopped talking when I raised my hand in warni
ng. What I really needed right now was a cup of coffee while waiting for those reinforcements to show up.

  Sweet angel of mercy! I figured out why Count Fangs-A-Lot wants my blood!

  “Why is that, Leo?” I asked reluctantly, turning on my sandals to get a head start toward the teashop.

  That toothy, no-good, hairy-legged beast wants to suck all my mental antioxidants out of my bloodstream! Well, he can’t have them. They’re all mine!

  Chapter Five

  I spent the next half hour in the backroom of the teashop going over what we knew about the vampire while enjoying a cup of coffee. I’d also sent my mother another text and tried to reach Heidi. Neither one was answering me, so all I had left to focus on were the facts as we’d come to understand them.

  It was definitely enough to paint a fairly complete picture.

  Vampires weren’t immortal, but they lived longer than most other supernatural beings. The one who felt Paramour Bay was home came to town, lived here just long enough so that no one got too suspicious, and then returned when the next generation couldn’t remember him even being a previous resident.

  In the vampire’s quest to leave without too many loose ends or having anyone the wiser, he always faked his own death somewhere outside of the town’s jurisdiction so that there was nothing on record at the station.

  As for the bats, well…

  The colony seemed to arrive as some sort of signal to the vampire that it was time for him to pack his bags. Maybe it was a supernatural alarm clock, of sorts. Harry had even suggested such a thing. But why had only one wounded bat shown up this time?

  Unless the hairy-legged rescue bat was just an awkward coincidence.

  I breathed in the pleasant aroma from the therapy scented incense that I’d lit before settling onto the stool that had a comfortable padded back for support. The aroma therapy scent was called Fall Equinox. The rich fragrance of fallen leaves and burning firewood wrapped its way around me, melting the stress of the day away. I closed my eyes and continued to ponder over what we’d learned about our little dilemma thus far.

  I didn’t believe for a second that the visiting vampire had any ill-will toward the townsfolk. Had the diversions not been dangerous to anyone around the pier area, I might have considered letting our fanged visitor keep making his escapes undisturbed.

  On the other hand, I might very well be able to help him.

  After all, we had quite the collection of supernatural beings all living in harmony right here in Paramour Bay—a grim reaper, a werewolf, a warlock, a druid, a wax golem, and a couple of witches with an occasionally witty familiar.

  What could it hurt to add a vampire into the mix?

  Why do you get to hide out back here, drinking your sanity beverage, burning incense, and listening to Ed Sheeran while I’m stuck out front with that card shark?

  It was a good thing that I’d already enjoyed most of my coffee or else I would have spilled it down the front of my shirt as Leo suddenly appeared out of thin air directly in front of me. He began to cough in that dramatic flair of his to let me know his thoughts on my choice of incense.

  For the love of all catnip, throw some water on that stink stick. Breathing in that horrible smoke is going to imbalance my mental antioxidants.

  Leo let out a few more theatrical hacks before he relayed his message.

  Only one half of the reinforcements arrived. Unfortunately, it’s the one half without brains.

  “Ted does too have brains,” I said in exasperation, reaching over to the small radio on the shelf and switching the power button to off. This was my private area to create the magical blends that helped the residents with their ailments. I’d carried on Nan’s legacy, and taking part in the same rituals made me feel closer to her. “And contrary to what you might believe, Ted also has feelings…so be nice or else.”

  Ted just so happened to be the wax golem that I’d mentioned a bit ago.

  I kinda, sorta inherited him with the cottage.

  Another long story short, Nan had dabbled in a bit of folklore magic to bring to life a wax figure from the local wax museum. Wax golems reached back to the sixteenth century. Ted just so happened to be the figure they had sculpted to resemble Lurch from The Addams Family.

  Just admit it, Raven. He’s a lump of animated gray wax with no sense of humor, and that’s the reason why we now have a Ted-Shed in the back yard.

  Ted was not a lump of grey wax.

  He was a gentleman through and through, even down to his preference for suits right out of the 1800s. His oddly colored blond hair and somewhat creepy smile couldn’t detract from his overall sweetness and generosity. He’d been Nan’s companion, helping her obtain material components for various spells. With her gone, he’d become my companion, gathering the most obscure components to cast everything from daily curative spells to the rarest bits needed to cast arcane magic.

  You mean companions, right? And how is it that you can refer to a walking, talking, dull gray Crayola as a companion?

  “I would never leave you out of our circle, either,” I promised Leo, giving him a pat on the head as I stood and doused the incense with a couple drops of my coffee, making sure it was put out. We certainly didn’t need the teashop to burn down in the midst of all this vampire business. “We’re our own three musketeers.”

  You’re missing the point. You now have two companions.

  “I know that, Leo.” I gave him an odd look, wondering just how many blueberry edibles he’d been given today. “You and Ted.”

  Talking to you is like banging my head against a brick wall. I take that back. Talking to you is the same as having a hairy-legged vampire bat attached to my fur while running around town looking to you for help in any way, shape, or form…only to have a branch from a petunia bush come to my rescue.

  “Just how many blueberry edibles did you…”

  Not enough is the answer to your question. No one can have too many mental antioxidants. I’ll be over in my bed while you process the ramifications of sneaking off and taking a break from the chaos that is our everyday lives.

  I’d stepped out of the backroom through the numerous strings of ivory-colored fairy beads that served as its enchanted door. The delicate hand-carved beads established a barrier of silence to keep listening ears from hearing any chants that were needed for casting spells. The so-called barricade certainly hadn’t protected my eyes from the shocking sight standing in the middle of the teashop.

  Who knew that there was such a thing as a plastic golem? I suppose if you melt plastic, you’re still left with goo of some sort. They complement each other, wouldn’t you say? Raven? You’re looking a little pale.

  Standing before me was the mannequin that Ted had fancied for as long as I’d lived in Paramour Bay. She used to grace the window of the local boutique, but Mindy had swapped out the old-style mannequins for newer models. Considering that Ted had actually named the mannequin, I’d bought it from Mindy with the promise of eventually giving Ted his own companion.

  Again, I still can’t figure out how your brain works. It seems to malfunction on an almost hourly basis.

  Leo was handling the sight of a walking, talking, laughing mannequin a little too well.

  Blueberry edibles, Raven. Who knew?

  Poor Rye was currently standing off to the side with his jaw hanging to the floor looking a bit nauseous himself. Beetle had no idea that the mannequin wasn’t technically a real person. I had to admit that whoever cast the ancient folklore magic incantation to bring to life a formerly inanimate object had done so exceedingly well.

  So well in fact, I had no doubt that it was cast by—

  The prehistoric crypt keeper. Remember, I saw her for who she really was, and that terrifying image will forever be burned into my memory. I mean, not even these blueberry edibles can get rid of it.

  Agnus.

  Her name was Agnus, and she was our local village druid.

  I arched my brow at Leo to warn him that I wasn�
��t in the mood for his witty quips. We had a serious problem on our hands, and I wasn’t talking about the visiting vampire. There was no way that I could deal with this turn of events by myself. There was no way people wouldn’t recognize her from the boutique two storefronts down.

  Ever so slowly and before Ted, Justine, and Beetle saw that I’d crawled out of my hole, I managed to slip back inside the ivory-colored fairy beads. I quickly retrieved my phone and dialed Heidi again. When she didn’t answer, I repeatedly continued to call until she finally got the hint that I wasn’t going to give up until she answered.

  “We have a major problem and—”

  “I caved and am driving to see—”

  “You did what?” I exclaimed in horror after we’d both spoken in unison.

  “What major problem?” Heidi asked, as if she wasn’t on the way to the city to try and explain her odd behavior last night to Jack. “Can it wait until I get back tonight?”

  “Are you serious right now?” I whispered harshly, though I wasn’t sure why since no one could hear me through the numerous strings of fairies. “Heidi, I think Mr. Jenkins might be the vampire, Count Cuddles has already attacked Leo, and now I’ve got a live—walking and talking, mind you—mannequin in my teashop!”

  The silence that came from the other end of the line spoke volumes, but it was evident in her response that she understood that I’d reached the end of the proverbial rope.

  “I’m turning around, but you have to promise me that you’ll think about using the memory erasing spell that I know is in your family grimoire,” Heidi said pointedly, knowing full well that she had me over a barrel.

  “Fine. We’ll try it.” I could compromise, right? What could go wrong? “You could be right, and any spell that I use on Jack could be for his benefit and not necessarily ours.”

  “I was already thirty minutes away, so it’ll take me that long to get back,” Heidi replied, her relief evident. “See you as soon as I can.”