Batty Blend (A Paramour Bay Cozy Paranormal Mystery Book 13)

by Kennedy Layne

  And why do we need to know again? As I lay here craving those addictive blueberry edibles and thinking about our predicament…it’s not really our problem. Think about it, Raven. The Mistress of the Dark brought in the Wicked Witch of Windsor. Let them handle the vampiric threat, and we can stand back and bet on the outcome. It’s a win-win.

  “It’s not a win-win if some type of tragic event happens at the pier, Leo,” I pointed out, watching Heidi as she poured herself a glass of wine and then bounced off to collect my laptop. Her dinner with Jack had definitely gone better than expected. “And Rye, your point is exactly why you should call Aunt Rowena and say that you thought you heard my mother. Ask if everything is okay.”

  “That would be showing our hand,” Rye argued with a shake of his head. “I was thinking more along the lines of you calling your mother.”

  I’m going to need to somehow swallow what’s left of my garlic catnip, aren’t I? How they consider that premium, I will never know.

  “I tried that again, and she’s purposefully pushing my call to her voicemail,” I responded with groan of irritation. “We’re running out of time. I need to take this tea blend to Count Cuddles, but it would be best to know what I’m walking into.”

  Everyone began talking all at once, throwing out ideas on how to get my mother away from Beetle so that we could find out what was truly going on with what she discovered in the city. That was the only explanation as to why she would go to Aunt Rowena for advice or help.

  “If I may,” Ted interjected formally, waiting patiently for everyone to quiet down.

  “Of course,” I said to Ted, making my way around the counter so that I could sit next to Liam. Having his hand stroke my back in support meant the world to me, and I needed all I could get at the moment. “Do you have an idea, Ted?”

  “We do,” Justine said, as if she could read Ted’s thoughts.

  Such a phenomenon did give me pause, because Agnus did have a lot of power as a druid.

  There was no telling what she’d added to the ancient magic spell.

  Are you trying to pile onto our problems? I only have so much premium organic catnip in any flavor, Raven. All this stress is depleting my mental antioxidants.

  “Justine and I will pay a visit to your mother.”

  I take back everything bad I said about the Crayola head. His idea is solid. Send him into the witch’s den, Raven. Do it!

  “I appreciate the offer, Ted,” I said, truly grateful for his willingness to walk into the witch’s den as Leo had called it. “Unfortunately, I’m the one who needs to go over there soon to give Count Cuddles his dinner. Beetle is one of those who researches everything, so he’s going to know what to feed Count Cuddles. I need to go soon before a birdie ends up being served as dinner, but I was hoping to have the upper hand.”

  You just denied our upper hand, Raven. You would be horrible at poker.

  “Why don’t you and Leo head on over there,” Heidi suggested before taking a sip of her wine. She’d settled into the overstuffed chair by the fireplace, placing my laptop on her legs while using the coffee table to prop up her feet. Even her toenails were painted pink to match her outfit. “I’ll stay here and search through some old photographs of the town’s inhabitants.”

  “I’ll take a drive down to the pier to look around,” Liam offered, kissing my cheek before he stood up from the stool. “My friend is keeping an eye out, but he doesn’t quite know what the situation entails. I also know everyone from town, so I’ll be able to spot the target easily. Let’s face it, there are only so many older males that could meet the vampire criteria.”

  “Why don’t I go back to the library and ask Harry if I can comb through some of those old family journals of his,” Rye suggested, joining Liam as they walked toward the front door. “Keep your phone handy. I’ll text you as soon as I find out anything.”

  “Justine and I will head back to the cemetery to speak with Ivan, Ms. Raven.”

  Justine nodded her agreement, but neither one really needed to follow up on the reason why they were going to pay a visit to our local grim reaper.

  It was obvious, which only further added to my stress level.

  So, what I’m hearing at the moment is that my best choice is to stay with my former soulmate and remain safe from anything with sharp fangs within the confines of the cottage, lest we invite him in. I can do that.

  “Fine,” I relented to Liam, making sure I said what was on my mind in case there was no returning from the excursions that we were all about to embark on. “Have I told you all that I appreciate each and every single one of you for helping me keep Paramour Bay safe from the ramifications of the supernatural?”

  “This is our home, Raven,” Liam said as he turned the handle on the front door. He even shot me a wink of encouragement. “We’re all in this together. As Rye said, everyone should keep their phones handy. Should any of us need any help, text an SOS with a location.”

  Everyone filed out the door, leaving only me, Leo, and Heidi. She was already half-way through her glass of wine while still searching through old photographs on the internet. Her stubby pink toes moved to a beat that must have been in her head. It was best to leave her to her research while I paid a visit to Beetle and my mother.

  It wasn’t like Mom and I could have an in-depth discussion with Beetle in the same room, and I couldn’t imagine she would let me get her alone to interrogate her over basically being MIA all day. Something had to have happened between yesterday and today, because we’d exchanged quite a few texts yesterday about some of the meetings that she’d had with nefarious supernatural beings in the underground network of the Big Apple.

  “I’ll be back soon,” I said with resignation before snatching up the small shopping bag with Count Cuddles’ tea blend. My phone with the pouch attached for credit cards and money was still in the pocket of my broomstick skirt. The only other thing I needed was luck. “We both know Mom isn’t going to tell me anything about her trip in front of Beetle. Maybe I’ll even join Rye at the library. I bet he has better luck figuring something out from those old journals than any of us will.”

  “Don’t count me out,” Heidi protested before tilting her head and then flashing me a smile. “Get it? Count me out.”

  Oy vey. As much as it pains me to say, I think I’ll stay here with my former soulmate. Hey, bring me back some of those blueberry edibles from my BFF’s house. I don’t think I can stomach anymore of the garlic ones you bought me.

  “You can snack on those treats while I see if this tea blend satisfies Count Cuddles’ hunger pains,” I said, not taking no for an answer. “I need you to listen in on Mom’s thoughts. I know she’s pretty good at shutting you out, but you never know if a notion or two slips through the cracks.”

  Trust me, the Mistress of the Dark has a lot of cracks in that noggin of hers. I have a comprehensive list somewhere. It might be stuffed inside one of the garlic catnip baggies.

  “Leo, let’s go,” I ordered, waving to Heidi who was once again engrossed with whatever was on the screen of my laptop. “We’re just prolonging the inevitable.”

  Leo groaned in displeasure, but he still rolled over from his usual napping position. He hadn’t gotten one wink of sleep, though.

  I don’t need a reminder, Raven. Besides, who needs sleep when there’s a good possibility that your mother has the coven descending upon our little town with wooden stakes? I wonder how Skippy would feel about me joining his ranks in the backyard of the inn. I’d end up as a traitor to the cause, but I’m thinking it’s better than being caught up in a coven versus vampire war. Do you mind if we make a pitstop? It pains me to have to say this, but I have some negotiating to do, Raven.

  Chapter Thirteen

  …you’re being selfish, Raven. I wonder if there’s a member from human resources joining the army coming into town. There have got to be contracts between familiars and their witches or warlocks. Clearly, this is one of those times that my memory has gone o
n the fritz.

  “Leo, we’re not stopping at the inn to speak with Skippy,” I repeated for the tenth time in the span of four minutes. Leo had been talking non-stop ever since I hadn’t continued down the main thoroughfare of town in the direction of the inn. “You’ll thank me later, Benedict Arnold.”

  When will that be? When I have a stake driven through my heart by the Wicked Witch of Windsor? I bet she’d enjoy doing it, too.

  I had driven straight to Beetle’s house, wanting to make sure that Count Cuddles’ hunger was satisfied and also to ensure that my mother knew how angry I was at her for ignoring me all day. I’d even sent her a text that all but begged her to call me after what we’d found out from Harry.

  Leo and I were walking up the small path to Beetle’s front porch. My mother also lived here, but it was still hard to get used to the fact that they lived together.

  It was even harder to accept that they were getting married.

  Maybe it was a good thing that I didn’t get to eat that garlic catnip. You’re making me nauseous with all this talk about my BFF and the Mistress of the Dark. You know, there is something that could make it better—blueberry edibles.

  “If eating more blueberry treats keeps you quiet while I feed Count Cuddles, then eat as many as you like,” I muttered, ringing the doorbell. Thinking back, this might have been only the second time that I’d visited Beetle at his home, but only because I saw him at the shop all the time. As for my mother, she usually came to the cottage. It was easier for us to talk freely. “I wonder why they wanted a winter wedding.”

  Why does your mother do anything that she does? That was a rhetorical question, in case you were wondering. If you want my opinion, I think everything that she does is to try to make my life miserable. Take us standing here on the doorstep for two minutes. I mean, who leaves visitors standing on a welcome mat about to get staked by the descending army of angry witches that she is solely responsible for bringing to town?

  “No one has descended yet,” I reminded Leo, though I couldn’t prevent looking over my shoulder to reassure myself that Aunt Rowena wasn’t loitering around someplace. “Maybe Mom really did go see her about the wedding. It’s not like we have a ton of family left hanging around.”

  Are you trying to make me feel bad for your mother? You’re going to have to do a lot better than that, Raven.

  Thinking about Leo’s statement about us standing here for two minutes, it was taking them a long time in answering the door. I stepped to the side in order to look through the window, but the curtain was in the way.

  I went ahead and rang the doorbell again.

  Not that I want to worry you any, but you don’t think that little hairy-legged demon got hungry and decided to feast on my BFF, do you? Let’s face it. My supplier is a bit naïve when it comes to anything other than numbers.

  “Hey,” I protested, glad to have something else to keep my mind off the fact that Beetle could be lying lifeless on his living room floor drained of blood. “Beetle has gotten to know his teas. Did you see the crowd he was entertaining today? His sales pitch was looking pretty good.”

  Leo’s tail thumped against the wooden planks of the porch in impatience. I was pretty sure that I could also hear his stomach rumble in anticipation of those blueberry edibles. Before I could chastise him for not eating dinner back at the house, the front door finally swung open.

  Leo’s paws came off the ground at the sudden reveal of my mother, who was currently patting the back of her hair as if it might be mussed. My mind didn’t immediately to into the gutter, because it was also one of mother’s tells for when she was upset.

  Sweet angel of mercy, what is your mother wearing? My eyes! I think they’re being singed right out of their sockets!

  “It’s called a kimono, Leo,” my mother responded wryly, still not backing up from her position in the doorway. As a matter of fact, she’d placed her hand on the other side of the doorframe to block any entrance as she did her best to look contrite. She failed miserably. “You’re here to lecture me. I completely understand, and I apologize for not calling you back today. I’ve had a lot of things to do, and you are more than capable of handling things here on your own.”

  Wow. I’m not sure that I can move, Raven. The Mistress of the Dark just laid it on pretty thick. I think my paws are stuck to the porch.

  “You can take your paws and—”

  “Mother, stop.” I motioned for her to back up into the living room. “And don’t you dare yell at Leo. At least he’s been by my side helping me with this…vampiric threat.”

  I’d made sure to whisper the last two words in case Beetle was close by.

  Now you’re causing me to be a bit verklempt, Raven, coming to my defense like that. It almost makes up for the fact that I practically lost every drop of blood in my system today. Notice that I said almost.

  “You don’t really need to come inside, Raven,” my mother exclaimed in irritation.

  That didn’t stop Leo and me from making a grand entrance, only turning to face her when we were standing in the middle of the living room. Unlike my cottage, along with the excellent taste of Nan’s style, Mom had redecorated Beetle’s place to be more sterile than what I preferred. The walls were white, she’d painted the doors black, and there wasn’t a plant to be found.

  Makes me kind of wonder why you would let my BFF bring Count Fangs-A-Lot to a place where things obviously come to die. On second thought, you’re a genius, Raven! Maybe the hairy-legged demon has already met the local grim reaper. The Witched Witch of Windsor might have already eaten him. Our services here might not be needed after all.

  “For your information, CC is in the sunroom,” my mother said with a swipe of her hand in the general direction of the back of the house. “He’s sleeping soundly, and I’d rather not disturb him.”

  CC? Oy vey, I can’t handle all these C names. Mr. C, Count Cuddles. What’s next? Are we going to find out that the vampire is actually Count Chocula from the cereal box?

  “Too bad,” I countered, holding up the tea blend that Rye had mixed together with a touch of magic. “Did you know that hairy-legged vampire bats survive on the blood of birds?”

  Speaking of surviving, do you know where my BFF keeps my premium organic edibles?

  My mother pulled a face of distaste as she tightened the silk belt on her kimono, though I’m pretty sure her reaction was to my comment and not Leo’s attempt to locate his blueberry catnip treats.

  “I brought a tea blend that takes the place of his natural food, so there’s no need to make any sacrifices of any local wildlife.” I looked around, but I didn’t see Beetle. I’d take advantage of the privacy offered at the moment. “Mom, is it safe to talk?”

  My mother didn’t answer right away, but instead held out her hand for the small shopping bag. There was definitely something that she was holding back from her trip to New York City. I wasn’t leaving until we found out what had her so rattled.

  “Mom? Is it safe to talk?”

  “Yes,” my mother replied with a sigh. “Just for a few moments, though. Beetle drove to the pet shop to pick up some food.”

  Leo gagged loudly, and it wasn’t because of a hairball.

  “I’ll stay long enough for him to return then,” I said, setting the small bag I’d brought with me on the coffee table. I then took a seat on the couch to prove that I wasn’t going anywhere. It was also good to know that I didn’t have to worry about being overheard by Beetle. “Let’s start at the beginning and work our way to the reason why you wouldn’t return my SOS message. I’ll start first.”

  Go ahead. I’m going to go take a look around. Those blueberry edibles have to be around here somewhere. I have a sixth sense for premium organic catnip, you know.

  “Leo and I found out that the visiting vampire doesn’t just visit Paramour Bay, but he actually lives here.” I watched my mother closely for any reaction that she was already aware of this news, but she’d looked away from me as she t
ook a seat in the chair positioned diagonally from me. “We paid a visit to Harry at the library. He has this secret room where he keeps all of his family’s journals from generations past. I mean, it’s enormous.”

  “Harry actually allowed you into his chamber? He let you read some of his family’s journals?” my mother asked, her emerald green gaze landing on me with interest. I figured that little tidbit of information might actually garner her attention. “What did you find out? Did you actually figure out the identity of the vampire?”

  “Not exactly,” I responded, leaning forward now that it seemed I had her full attention. “We discovered that the vampire stages his own death every century or so with an explosive event near the pier. He’s been fortunate that no one has gotten hurt in one of his escapades.”

  There was quite a lot of banging around in the kitchen, which I presumed meant that Leo hadn’t discovered Beetle’s stash of catnip quite yet.

  “So, what you’re telling me is that the vampire leaves town?” My mother held up her hands as if we’d achieved some type of victory. “It sounds to me as if our problems are solved. You can go ahead and leave the tea blend. I’ll make sure that Beetle knows we don’t need to sacrifice any birds.”

  “Spill it.”

  My mother had already gotten out of the chair and was walking toward the front door when she slowed her steps. She didn’t even turn around to face me, though.

  “I mean it, Mom. What did you find out in New York? I can only assume that whatever it was, you’re worried about my reaction. Well, I can assure you that Leo and I discovered more than you, which trumps anything that you might have to say to me right now.” I stood and waited for her to turn around and face me. I could tell from the stubborn way she tilted her chin that she wasn’t going to confess to anything quite yet. “The vampire returns to town after he feels that no one will recognize him. Either that, or he somehow changes his appearance to fool everyone in town. We also found out that he knows it’s his time to leave the area when a colony of bats appear.”