I Am Quinn

by McGarvey Black

‘I get it,’ Roberts said. ‘You’re playing good cop,’ he said, pointing at McQuillan, ‘and you’re the bad cop,’ pointing at Crews. ‘You’re both quite good. Bravo. You missed your calling.’

  The two detectives remained expressionless and kept their eyes fixed on Alec.

  ‘Please, continue with your theatrical production. I can’t wait to see how Act Two ends.’

  ‘I’ll tell you how it ends,’ McQuillan said. ‘Spoiler alert; the killer is arrested, tried and convicted then spends the rest of his life rotting in prison, no parole.’

  ‘I hope that’s exactly what happens, Detective. My wife didn’t deserve this. No one does.’

  The two detectives asked Alec if he would agree to take a lie detector test and let them do a DNA swab.

  ‘Sure, I’ve got nothing to hide. If it helps rule me out and will get the police focused on finding my wife’s killer, I’m happy to help in any way,’ Alec said with a smile.

  Aside from statistical data that overwhelmingly pointed to a significant other when it came to murder, Alec Robert’s last comment was what signaled McQ’s gut and told him the killer was probably sitting right in front of him. McQuillan moved Dr. Alec Roberts to the top of his list.

  Within five minutes, a DNA technician had swabbed Alec’s cheek and sent his sample to the lab. The lie detector session was scheduled for the following afternoon.

  ‘Thank you for trying to find my wife’s killer,’ Alec said, shaking the detectives’ hands. ‘The sooner we can get all this behind us, the better. My kids are in bad shape. I’m sure you can understand. Now, it’s got to be about my kids.’

  As it turned out, Roberts didn’t return the next day to take the lie detector test. He left the police station, lawyered up and never spoke to the cops again. Ever.

  Chapter 14

  Riding in two cars, the Delaney family made the long drive from New Jersey to Avon, NY for the funeral of their sister, daughter, and friend, Quinn Marie Delaney Roberts. Meetings with the Newbridge police were to take place after the service. Erin and Colleen decided due to the nature of their sister’s death that it was too traumatising to pull their kids out of college, so none of the cousins attended. Quinn’s father, Ed, just plain refused to go.

  ‘I don’t need to stand in front of a wooden box to remember my daughter,’ he said to his wife. ‘She’s in my heart. And I don’t want to see him. I don’t know what I’d do if I were in the same room with that son of a bitch.’

  Eileen Delaney knew that guys from South Philly settled things with their fists. As much as she wanted her husband with her, she gave him the space to grieve on his own terms.

  Quinn’s mother and sister, Colleen, along with Colleen’s husband were in one car. Mike, Erin and three of Quinn’s high school friends, Cathy, Liza, and Molly were in the second. Each passenger clutched a damp wad of tissues while trying to make sense out of it all. They had six hours in the car to process that she was gone.

  Mike’s car was eerily quiet for the first thirty minutes with only sounds of sniffling and noses being blown. At one point, he turned on the radio to drown out the screaming silence and country rock music filled the car. After a few minutes, the festive nature of the songs felt wrong, given where they were going and why. He soon turned off the radio, and the car was painfully quiet again until Liza spoke up.

  ‘Remember how much Quinn loved mustard?’ she said suddenly to break the silence. A relieved group chuckle filled the car.

  ‘Oh, my God,’ said Cathy, laughing and crying at the same time, ‘she was abnormally obsessed with mustard. She put it on everything. Celery, cookies, crackers, meat, apples, cheese. I once saw her put mustard on spaghetti and meatballs.’

  ‘Ewww,’ groaned the group as they laughed with tears in their eyes.

  ‘Once when we were little, Quinn put mustard on her peanut butter and jelly sandwich,’ Erin said, smiling.

  ‘Ewww,’ everyone chorused again.

  Over the next few hours, they shared stories about Quinn, some funny, some sad. They had all lost something precious and took comfort in being together. Without saying anything, each person was aware that there was still a huge elephant in the car.

  Halfway to Avon, the conversation lulled as everyone retreated into their own grief. They rode in silence until Mike blurted out loud what everyone had privately been thinking.

  ‘We all know Alec did it, right? We agree, he killed Quinn.’

  ‘We don’t know that,’ Erin said, hitting her husband on the arm and starting to cry again. ‘I just lost my sister. I can’t go there right now. I won’t accept that my brother-in-law is responsible for her death. We’ve spent every Christmas with him for over twenty years. I’m reserving judgment until we talk to the police.’

  ‘He locked her out of the house and cheated on her year after year. He screwed with her head every chance he had,’ said Mike.

  ‘I know,’ Erin sobbed.

  ‘He did everything he could to break her spirit,’ said Mike, ‘and keep all his money for himself.’

  ‘Okay, you’re right, he’s a bastard,’ Erin said. ‘But it doesn’t mean he killed her.’

  ‘You think Quinn’s life sucked so bad that when she finally got free of him, a total stranger randomly broke into her apartment and killed her?’ asked Mike. ‘You said yourself that she didn’t know anyone in Newbridge, that she’d only been there a few months and spent most of her time with her lawyer and therapist. You even worried she had no friends there.’

  ‘I know.’

  ‘The police don’t think she was robbed and there was no evidence of a sexual assault. You really think some random intruder broke in and killed her for the hell of it?’ Mike said. ‘That’s a bridge too far for me, especially when you know Alec and Quinn’s history.’

  ‘I know it looks bad, but…’ Erin said, starting to cry again.

  ‘He’s the only one with a motive,’ Mike continued. ‘He didn’t want to pay her alimony, and like magic, now he doesn’t have to. Convenient.’

  Mike’s sharp words rang true to everyone in the car. Quinn had told each of them separately that Alec had asked her to waive her rights to alimony and his pension, all the while trying to convince her that she was selfish for saddling him with spousal support. ‘If you really love me,’ Alec had said to her, ‘you’d only take alimony for six months and then stand on your own two feet.’

  ‘You’re jumping to conclusions, we don’t know anything yet,’ Erin said to her husband.

  ‘Let me line this up for you,’ Mike continued. ‘Quinn was hospitalized twice, had a documented mental illness and had been a stay-at-home mom for over twenty years. Her lawyer told her that any judge would order permanent alimony because of her medical condition. Alec went nuts when he heard that.’

  ‘That’s true. Quinn told me he was furious about the alimony,’ Erin said.

  ‘A few weeks later,’ said Mike, ‘Quinn ends up dead and Alec’s financial problems miraculously disappear. Like I said, convenient.’

  ‘He probably did it,’ Erin said softly.

  ‘Mike, do you really think Alec is capable of doing something like that?’ Liza asked.

  ‘He’s a fucking psycho,’ said Mike after a long pause.

  Chapter 15

  One party you never want to be invited to is your murdered sister’s funeral. Erin spoke to Quinn’s kids the night before and let them know their mother’s family was driving up from New Jersey in the morning. Erin had one mission. She wanted to put her arms around Jack and Hannah for her sister and let them know she would always be there, just like she had promised Quinn.

  She asked Jack to arrange for the Delaneys to have some private time with Quinn before everyone else entered the room at the funeral home. Erin didn’t want to face Alec while she said goodbye to her sister. Even if he hadn’t killed her, he had treated her terribly while she was alive and Erin couldn’t forgive that. They were to arrive twenty minutes early, and the funeral director would let them
in.

  The two Delaney vehicles pulled into the parking lot of the Barton Funeral Home. Over a hundred people waited outside for the doors to open. Most of them were young, college-aged kids who Erin assumed were friends of Hannah and Jack. Quinn’s house had always been the ‘hangout house’ for all of Jack and Hannah’s friends – until she got sick, then no one came around.

  When Eileen Delaney got out of the car and took her first step, her legs gave out. Colleen caught her just in time and held her up. Erin raced over to her mother and quickly linked arms. She and Colleen walked their grieving mother slowly to the door of the funeral home, bypassing the waiting crowd. They were on the one VIP line you never want to be on.

  Hannah and Jack stayed with their father on the opposite side of the parking lot while the group from New Jersey filed into the main receiving room. The large mourning space was filled with rows of empty chairs and numerous arrangements of flowers from friends and family. Big blown-up photos of Quinn were scattered around the room on metal easels. A light wood closed casket was situated at the far end of the room.

  Erin looked at the pictures of her sister. One was of Quinn hiking in the woods, sun on her face, not a stitch of make-up, young, healthy, beautiful. Another was of Quinn playing her ukulele, mouth open, strumming in front of the Christmas tree, entertaining the whole family. Erin remembered everyone had been so happy that day. She could still hear her sister singing off-key, and it made her smile. Across the room was a portrait of a radiant Quinn in her wedding gown. A lump the size of a golf ball lodged in Erin’s throat as she looked at the beautiful images of her baby sister. Her stomach ached, her body temperature was high, she was sweating, but somehow, she was freezing. Her heart pounded in her chest, and her ears were ringing. Every part of her ached, and her legs felt like they were going to collapse underneath her. For a terrifying moment, she thought she was having a panic attack and then she realized what it was. Grief. To calm herself, she took a few deep cleansing breaths. Keep it together, Erin, she told herself.

  A giant picture of a smiling Quinn and Alec on their wedding day hung at the back of the room. Seeing that image of marital bliss infuriated Erin. Alec was mocking her sister’s memory. That picture made it look like they had a loving relationship. Erin wanted to rip it down and tear the image into a thousand pieces. She glanced out the window at Alec in the parking lot talking with her niece and nephew. He should be in that wooden box, instead of Quinn, she thought. It should have been him.

  Erin kept her eyes from going to one place in the room. She couldn’t look over at the casket. My little sister is inside that wooden box, and I am here for her funeral. It was surreal. Erin’s attention shifted as a commotion was heard across the room when Eileen Delaney became hysterical. Seeing her mother fall apart set Erin off and she sobbed uncontrollably and lost her balance. Standing next to her, Mike quickly put his arms around his wife and held her up. Colleen and her husband took their mother to a seat in the back of the room to calm down. They only had a few more minutes before the doors would open for everyone.

  ‘Let’s go say our goodbyes to your sister,’ said Mike to his wife. The two of them walked stoically towards the casket and knelt down in front of it. Liza, Cathy, and Molly followed and stood behind them as they all cried and prayed together. Erin questioned her own faith for the first time, screaming at God from inside her head. Why did you take her? Why is my sister dead?

  A moment later, the funeral director whispered in Mike’s ear. Mike nodded.

  ‘It’s time. They’re letting them in,’ Mike said gently to his wife.

  Erin braced herself as people quietly filed in and a long line formed, snaking out the front door and around the building. A moment later, there was a crowd by the entrance as Jack, Hannah and Alec, followed by Alec’s parents and his brother and his wife, entered and walked up to the casket.

  The Delaneys watched the Roberts family each take their turns on the kneeler. As Alec knelt, Erin examined the back of her brother-in-law’s head. His hair was thinning severely and that made her slightly happy. She hoped all his hair fell out and tried to bore a hole in the back of his balding head with her eyes.

  For the Delaneys, the rest of the wake was a blur. They didn’t know most of the people attending and stayed by themselves, refusing to acknowledge Alec in any way. Jack and Hannah eventually came over, and Erin gave them each a big hug, telling them she would always be there for them.

  When her niece and nephew moved away to talk to others, Erin looked over at her husband. Mike was laser-focused on Alec, wouldn’t take his eyes off of him. She could feel the hatred coming off her husband. Alec must have felt it too because he kept stealing glances at Mike who never broke his icy stare.

  The Avon Ladies gave Erin their condolences. It had been a few years since Erin had seen Viv, Kelly, Margot, and Nina, but she remembered them well. Viv was the unofficial ringleader.

  ‘You four were important to my sister,’ Erin said. ‘She used to talk about you all the time and valued your friendship. She loved being an Avon Lady.’

  Truthfully, Erin didn’t think the ‘ladies’ had paid much attention to her sister after she got sick. When Quinn started having emotional problems, her ‘good friends’ all but disappeared. Once Quinn stopped being a good time, the ‘ladies’ couldn’t spare time for her.

  ‘We loved Quinn,’ said Viv. ‘She was the best, so much fun.’

  ‘The best,’ echoed the other three women simultaneously.

  After the ‘ladies’ walked away, Alec’s parents moved towards the Delaney group. Alec’s mother swept in and wrapped her arms around Erin, causing Erin’s entire body to stiffen like a stone statue. The mother of the man who possibly killed my little sister is touching me. A wave of nausea overtook Erin. Linda Roberts had done nothing to support her sister while she was alive. The second Linda Roberts released her grip, Erin backed away and shook her head. Linda said something about how terrible this whole thing was and how sad they were. She said they loved Quinn and mentioned how traumatic it all was for Quinn’s kids.

  While watching the awkward scene between Alec’s mother and Erin, Mike’s rage grew and a mask of hatred spread across his face. He knew Alec’s parents had never lifted a finger to help Quinn and they had no right now pretending they cared. They were fakers just like their son.

  Mike and Erin now knew that Quinn had hidden a lot of things from the Delaney side of the family. But Alec’s parents lived in Avon, less than two miles from their son’s house. They knew what was going on. They knew how their son betrayed and mistreated his wife and they did nothing to help her.

  Mike was sure of one thing. He believed the entire Roberts family was complicit in Quinn’s death – and wondered if her kids somehow played a role?

  Chapter 16

  QUINN

  There were so many people at my funeral, must have been more than two hundred. Impressive. My kids’ friends all showed up. There were tons of flowers, and big pictures of me all around the room. One of them was my wedding picture. I loved that photo. I looked pretty.

  Lots of people were pouring into the chapel, and everyone was crying. All the Delaneys and my New Jersey friends were on one side of the room. The Avon contingent including Alec and my kids, along with the Avon Ladies, were on the other. Most of the girls from Hannah’s high school lacrosse team were there and I even saw a few of her old teachers. Guess all the volunteering I did at Avon High paid off. It was very nice of all of them to show up.

  Some professors from the University of Rochester stopped in to show support for Alec. I didn’t know his colleagues very well. He hadn’t brought me to a UR event in a few years. I wondered if Alec’s girlfriend, Alison, would be there. I wasn’t sure what she looked like. He wouldn’t bring his new girlfriend to my wake, would he? That would be kind of tacky. My brother-in-law would lose his mind if Alec did that. I’d known Mike since we were kids and he was more like my big brother and protector. Nobody messed with any of the Delan
ey girls when Mike was around. There sure were a lot of people in the funeral home. Lines of mourners went out the front door and all the way around the building. I went over to my daughter. She looked sadder than I had ever seen her.

  ‘Everything is going to be alright, Hann,’ I whispered in her ear. ‘I’m alright. I’m still here with you.’

  A single tear trickled down her cheek.

  ‘I love you, Hann,’ I said, blowing her a kiss, wanting to believe she heard me. I moved towards my son. He looked as though he wanted to sink into the floor.

  ‘Don’t be sad, Jack,’ I said. ‘I’m okay. You’ll be alright, too. I’m not exactly sure where I am, but I’m still here looking out for you. Promise me, you’ll take care of your sister. That’s what big brothers are supposed to do.’

  My New Jersey family huddled together in the back of the room. I didn’t see my father. Where was he? My mother, sister, Mike, Liza and my high school friends were all together, but not my dad. Did something happen to him? I stood in front of my mother and shouted as loud as I could.

  ‘Where’s Daddy? Please don’t cry, Mom, I’m alright,’ I yelled, but she couldn’t hear me.

  I moved towards the Avon Ladies, my party posse, all clutching their tissues as they reminisced about the good times we’d had together; the book club, the nights out, the partying.

  ‘She was so great,’ said Viv sniffling. ‘I’m going to miss her.’

  ‘Me too,’ said Margot, laughing and crying at the same time. ‘She was so much fun. Remember her with the ukulele or when she made us do the cancan on top of the bar in Metaire with our shirts off.’

  The Avon Ladies all laughed. I laughed along with them. I remember that cancan escapade; that was a wild night. The bartender bought us several free rounds of tequila shots, and we got a little naked, but only just a little.

  ‘She was one of a kind,’ said Nina. ‘It must have been awful for you, Viv, finding her dead like that.’