To Serve

by Lexy Timms

  “What you said to my father about your station...” She took deep breath, needing a moment to steady herself against the sudden, unexpected heartache. “I hope you know that I wouldn’t be so shallow as to overlook you because of your position as a butler. I don’t think I’m superior to you in any way.”

  Alistair scoffed. Actually scoffed. A rare show of what he was actually feeling.

  “You think this is funny?”

  “I think it’s the furthest thing from funny,” he said.

  “Is that so?” she demanded frostily.

  “You have deluded yourself,” he told her simply. As if that was explanation enough for his subtle, dismissive rebuke.

  Anger flared at those words. Though most people condescended to her and treated her like a child, few people dared insult her to her face. “Have I?”

  “You said it yourself, Evie. Your relationship with the duke is a business transaction,” he said through gritted teeth.

  She bristled. Though those had been her words, she hated how he was flinging them back at her now. Accusing her of being mercenary, when she had little choice. “So now you’re accusing me of being a snob.”

  “I’m not accusing. It’s the truth. I have nothing to offer, so you wouldn’t be caught dead with a man like me. Don’t get angry with me because I reminded your father of that fact.”

  “That’s not fair, Alistair.”

  “Life is not fair,” he said bluntly.

  Tears pricked the back of her eyes. She had never fought with him this way, and was on the verge of tears because of it. “At least I see now that you will no longer try to spare my feelings. Like my father, I know the truth when I hear it.”

  Evie refused to let him see how much pain he had caused her. She blinked her tears away and then put her sunglasses back on. For the rest of the drive into Huntingshire she said nothing. Merely looked out the window, taking in the sights to try to distract herself from the pain in her heart.

  When they got into town, they stopped at the bank. After that, Evie went to buy a few items she would need for the upcoming boat race. First, she went to pick up the prizes for the boat race. Ordinarily she relied on servants to run many of her errands, but since the prizes were made of genuine silver and real crystal she knew it was best that she handled that task herself. With that out of the way, she purchased a brand new hat for the occasion and then got back into the car.

  “Anywhere else?” he asked.

  “No. Thank you. Take me home... please.”

  He started the car and began the journey back to the manor.

  An oppressive silence fell over them. It was almost deafening. So awkward that she kept fidgeting in her seat. The friendship she had wanted with him seemed to have stalled. Maybe kissing him had been a bad idea. No matter how incredible it had felt in the moment, she couldn’t deny that it had led them down a very rocky road. Her lady’s maid guessing what they had gotten up to in the attic had set off a chain of events that threatened to tear them apart all over again.

  She chewed her lip, desperately wishing for a chance to talk to him. No matter how angry she was with him, the thought of not speaking was too crushing to bear. “The text message you sent me—”

  “I believe the problem has been handled for the moment,” he said, interrupting her. “I gave the maids who were talking about you a stern warning. And I convinced your father that there’s no truth to the rumors.”

  “But has anyone else heard the gossip?” she asked. “I can’t imagine that only my father heard.”

  “Your father didn’t elaborate on who else might know.” Suddenly his expression changed in the mirror, his eyes narrowing dangerously. “If the duke hears the rumors and tries to say anything to you, I will deal with him.”

  “Deal with him? Alistair, you make it sound like you’re ready to come to blows with him,” she said in alarm.

  “I am. If Rothford breathes so much as a harsh word, I’ll be ready to knock him down flat.”

  “You can’t!” she cried.

  “And why not?”

  “Because... because it’s not done.”

  “I don’t care,” Alistair shot back. “He has no right to talk to you the way he did at the dinner.”

  “Challenging Nicholas isn’t a good idea,” she insisted.

  “Am I beneath him? Is that why you think I can’t challenge him?”

  “On the contrary, Alistair. You’re better than him,” she replied. “He isn’t worth it. Don’t throw away your job over Nicholas.”

  “It’s you I’m trying to protect.”

  “I know. But let me handle him,” she said. As much as she hated to refuse his help, she knew he would be sacked the moment he confronted Nicholas. Not only that, but Nicholas would use his power to ruin Alistair and his family.

  “Besides, you’ve already managed to convince my father,” she rushed on, desperate to get him to listen to reason. “I’m sure he’ll talk to Nicholas and clear things up. My father will convince him that the rumors aren’t true.”

  “But they are true,” he said.

  “One kiss is not an affair.” Though the passion they had shared in that single kiss felt like the beginning of the most torrid, forbidden affair. She knew better now, though. The burning passion had been due to years of pent-up emotion. What she felt when Alistair kissed her had been down to the history they shared. While he was too worldly to let his life be altered by a mere kiss, she was sheltered and had gotten carried away. “Anyway, like I said, my father will convince Nicholas. He’ll listen to Father.”

  “You have a great deal of confidence in your father,” Alistair said, his jaw clenching.

  “Even though I don’t always agree with him, I trust my father has my best interests at heart,” she said. “He’ll protect me from Nicholas’ worst impulses.”

  “Your belief in your father is misplaced, in my opinion.”

  “I trust my father. And it’s not your place to speak of him that way,” she said sharply. Evie hadn’t wanted to sound so harsh, but if that was the only way to get Alistair to back down from confronting Nicholas then she would do it.

  She saw the way his expression turned to stone in the rearview mirror.

  “No, it isn’t,” he agreed coldly.

  Alistair didn’t say another word to her for the rest of the journey back to the manor. And through the stony silence, Evie knew that she had angered him all over again. Her attempt to fill the earlier quiet had probably just made things worse between them.

  Their unforgettable kiss could never be discussed ever again. Not if she hoped to preserve her reputation and help Alistair keep his job. Whatever fantasy she’d had about where the kiss might lead was over.

  Chapter 15

  ALISTAIR SPENT THE next few days trying to throw himself into work. Though he had seen Evie while he’d conducted his various duties, there was always an audience of servants or manor guests. Not that she would speak to him even if they were alone. He noted a distinct chill whenever she looked his way.

  As he supervised some of the manor staff restocking the downstairs gift shop, he tried to stop thinking about Evelyn. Since the manor was open to guided tours, some of his duties included maintaining the gift shop.

  He was carrying the last set of heavy boxes to the back of the gift shop while the rest of the staff got to work opening the boxes he’d already hauled inside. Some butlers oversaw their staff without doing much of anything, but Alistair liked to roll up his sleeves and get to work. There was something about working with his hands that restored him. Even if right now it wasn’t helping to distract him from his racing thoughts about Evie.

  The drive into town several days ago had gone badly. In his desperation to protect her at all costs, he had only pushed her further away. First by acting as if the kiss had meant nothing. Then by accusing her of snobbery. He stood by his belief that she would never be with a man like him, but he had gone about it the wrong way. Not that she had handled the situation
any better. For one thing, she insisted on clinging to misplaced loyalties. Evie seemed determined to stick by Nicholas even though she admitted he was no good. On top of that, she also believed in her father despite everything he was putting her through. She actually seemed content with what was essentially going to be an arranged marriage.

  It pained him to see that Evie truly was a product of her class. So much so that she still couldn’t see that she had the right to her determine her own future. She didn’t have to live to please other people. Didn’t have to sacrifice her happiness just to move her family further up the social ladder. Couldn’t she see how unfair it was? How wrong it was for them to demand that she give up her entire future?

  Just knowing she was throwing her life away made the anger burn through him until his blood boiled.

  With sweat pouring down his brow he placed the boxes down on the floor in the back room. Then he sat down and got to work with one of the box cutters.

  There seemed to be no way to resolve things with Evie. Though he had found a way to tamp down on the rumors about them, it was only a matter of time before her father got suspicious again. But that wasn’t the only problem. The biggest problem was that no matter how much he tried to talk himself out of his own feelings, he cared about Evie. Cared more than a servant ought to. Seeing her with Nicholas was only going to destroy him. All it would take was a moment of unexpected jealousy for Alistair to lose control of his emotions. Though he had gotten good at hiding what he was feeling, he didn’t have to do that in his real life back in London. In London, nobody he knew saw the need to hide behind pretense. Unlike the upper class that spent so much time speaking in vague terms, his working-class and even middle-class friends spoke a lot more plainly.

  But here at the manor, Alistair had to guard every word. Remain as cold and distant as possible. Doing that while he didn’t feel anything was easy enough. But around Evie he felt everything. All the time. There was no escaping the force of his emotions when she was near.

  Which was why constantly thinking of her was torture. Throwing himself into work wasn’t making things any easier, and when he was through opening his share of the boxes he decided a change of scenery was in order.

  He put on his jacket and headed out of the old servants’ cottage that now served as the gift shop. Though he wasn’t scheduled to inspect the grounds for another few days, an informal look couldn’t hurt. Some fresh air might get his mind off tormenting himself with thoughts of Evie.

  Alistair headed for the side of the manor where he would get a little privacy, walking along the stone path that led to a row of hedges that the gardener had spoken of with pride. As he strode by a hedge he heard the distinct sound of Lord Smythe’s angry voice coming from the gazebo several yards away.

  The moment he realized that Evie’s father was close, Alistair ducked behind the hedges. Alistair didn’t much care to bump into the baron even when the man was in the best of moods. And right now, Lord Smythe sounded so angry that Alistair knew it was wise to stay out of sight.

  From his vantage point behind the hedges Alistair could see Evie’s father gripping the gazebo railing as he seemed to be in a heated argument with Nicholas. The two men were standing side by side, Evie’s father scowling while the duke, in contrast, had a smile on his face.

  Common sense and professional protocol dictated that Alistair turn away and leave the two men to their conversation. But his desire to protect Evie demanded that he try to find out exactly what was going on with the man she was expected to marry. There was a good chance he would overhear enough to know how to finally deal with Nicholas.

  “We’d never be able to live down the scandal and you know it,” Evie’s father said angrily. “That’s why you’re holding this over my head. You want to embarrass me in front of society so that you can swoop in and amass more power for yourself.”

  “My Lord Smythe, why would I do such a thing?” Nicholas asked, his smile widening. “I want to marry your daughter.”

  “Well, you’re taking your sweet time with the marriage proposal,” Evie’s father said harshly.

  “May I remind you that there are rules to this game,” Nicholas said. “If I rush Evelyn down the aisle too quickly tongues will wag. The gossips will say I rushed into marriage with her to hide an illegitimate pregnancy. The stain of illegitimacy over our child’s head—whether real or imagined—would follow them all their life. We can’t let such poisonous rumors get out just because you’re a little impatient, my lord. Besides, you wanted a big show of our courtship, didn’t you?”

  “Yes, I wanted a show,” Evie’s father muttered. “A show brings prestige and attention, which every family needs to stay relevant and respected. But that won’t bring me the kind of money I need. The family fortune is running out and my options are dwindling.”

  “I know your personal wealth is gone, Lord Smythe, but what about your wife’s fortune? I heard she brought a considerable dowry when you were first married.”

  Evie’s father sighed heavily. “That too is lost. After losing my own fortune to bad investments, I tried to recoup those losses with my wife’s fortune. But no matter how hard I tried the wealth never materialized, and I lost most of her wealth as well. My wife has no idea. The truth about her dowry can’t get out. She would kill me if she knew her money was gone. Or worse, she’d divorce me.”

  “But what about the money you make from manor tours, overnight guests, weddings, and television programs?” Nicholas asked. “Your family didn’t make your money through industry the way your wife did, but surely Smythe lands bring enough for you to live on for the time being while I court Evelyn.”

  “Enough to live on is not good enough,” Evie’s father said tersely. “My wife expects the wealth that she brought to have doubled by now. Yet with most of our fortune gone, what’s left will run out with all the expenses this show of a courtship requires. After I’ve spent what’s left of our fortune on this courtship, all we’ll have left is what the manor and the lands bring in every month. My wife is certain to notice when the checks start to bounce.”

  “You could fool your wife for a few more months, surely. What the manor makes every month must be enough to sustain you, my lord,” Nicholas said. “You won’t starve. You’ll live comfortably. Comfort should be good enough for one summer.”

  “Comfort is the sort of thing the middling classes aspire to,” Lord Smythe said disdainfully. “Queen Elizabeth I gave my ancestors the manor and the surrounding land. I don’t need to remind you how many kings and queens have dined in Smythe Manor over the centuries. I want the money that goes with my status. Money you promised to give me if I introduced you to my daughter. I’ve kept my end of the bargain, Your Grace.”

  “Our bargain stated that your daughter gets half of my wealth upon marriage,” Nicholas said. “I can’t just hand your family a billion dollars of my money for an introduction. Evelyn’s a beauty, but she isn’t bloody Helen of Troy.”

  “I’m not asking you to give my family all that money upfront, sir. I would never ask for something so unreasonable,” Evie’s father said. “Just enough money to see us through the summer until the wedding. It could act as a show of faith. You and your family are staying at the manor as guests after all, and that’s three more mouths to feed.”

  Nicholas paused. “I’ll need your assurance that things with Evelyn and myself will go smoothly. According to plan.”

  “Of course. Evie is an obedient daughter. She expects a proposal, so I’m certain that she’s looking forward to your wedding. What girl wouldn’t want to be a duke’s bride?”

  “I don’t want any unexpected events or last-minute surprises,” Nicholas said firmly. “Your lost fortune is a carefully guarded secret, and I need to be sure that there aren’t any more secrets or skeletons in your closet. I can’t give you something only to get nothing in return.”

  “No. Nothing of the sort,” Lord Smythe said, an almost fawning air to him that Alistair had never seen before.
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  “No rumors or scandals?” Nicholas pressed. “I’d hate to be caught off guard by gossip I couldn’t counter. Evelyn’s reputation has to be spotless. As a duke I can sow my wild oats with all sorts of women, but my wife cannot have so much as a blemish. A duchess must be the perfect woman. My duchess must be unsullied.”

  Lord Smythe hesitated for a moment. No doubt the baron was thinking about the malicious gossip the household staff had been peddling mere days earlier. Gossip that was so bad the baron had called Alistair into his study to get to the bottom of it. The baron was likely replaying that very conversation in his mind. Evie’s father cleared his throat. “No rumors or scandals of any kind regarding my daughter. Evelyn has always been a good girl. The right sort for a man of your rank. You have my word on that.”

  “Excellent. A nobleman is only as good as his word,” Nicholas said with a sniff. “It’s what separates us from the lower orders. The middling classes rely on contracts and the like. Everything has to be in writing, they’re so untrustworthy. But for gentlemen like us, a word and a handshake is all it takes.”

  “Quite right,” Evie’s father said, his tone so even that Alistair was certain the man was accustomed to lying frequently.

  “Well let’s hammer out the details, then, shall we?” The sudden sound of a phone ringing made Nicholas pause to take his mobile out of his pocket. “If you’ll excuse me for a moment, Lord Smythe, I’ll have to take this.”

  Alistair didn’t wait to hear the baron’s response. The phone call was a chance to get away without being spotted. Quickly he moved away from the hedges, keeping his head down as he moved as close to the manor wall as possible to avoid detection. What he had just overheard could undo the family and bring the Smythes to their knees. A less scrupulous servant would use what he had just heard for blackmail. But he didn’t care about any of that. All that mattered was finding Evie and revealing the truth.