by Amy Clipston
“I need to get set up,” Christiana muttered as she hopped down from the stool. She brushed past Jeff, marching to her booth without looking back.
* * *
Humiliation hung on to Jeff like a second skin as Christiana glared at him before moving past him and out of the Coffee Corner booth.
“Gude mariye,” Bethany sang out with her usual perky tone as she walked over to him. “Do you want the special kaffi today?”
“Ya.”
“How are you?”
“Fine. You?” He walked with her to the counter.
“It’s another schee day at the market.” Bethany gave him his chocolate donut. “I hope you like mint mocha kaffi. My cousins seem to.”
“I’m sure I will. All your flavors are appeditlich.” He handed her some money once she’d given him his coffee. “Danki.”
“Have a gut day.” Bethany gave him a little wave.
If only he could have a fraction of her positivity to get him through this day.
He nodded at her and then started toward the booth exit, aware of her cousins’ stares. He heard one of them whisper something to the other, and his ears felt as if they might spontaneously combust.
“Jeff.” Salina trotted over and matched his steps as they walked toward their booths. “May I speak with you?”
“Sure.” Jeff could hear the hesitation in his voice as dread pooled in his gut.
“Wait.” She stopped and turned toward him, and he halted. “I don’t want Christiana to see us.”
Uh-oh. He nodded.
“I know this is none of my business, but I want to say something.”
“Okay.” He swallowed.
She glanced toward their aisle and then lowered her voice. “You should talk to Christiana.”
“You think she wants to talk to me?” He gestured toward the Coffee Corner. “She obviously didn’t want to have anything to do with me a few minutes ago.”
“I know, but just listen.” Her expression almost seemed to be pleading with him not to walk away. “She’s really upset about what happened yesterday.”
“That’s kind of obvious,” Jeff deadpanned.
“If she didn’t care about you, would she be upset?”
“You think she cares about me?” He studied her expression, looking for any signs of a lie.
“Would you be upset about losing a friendship if you didn’t care about that person?” Her blue eyes challenged him.
He glanced past her toward Christiana’s booth.
“Just do me a favor and try to talk to her. That’s all I ask.”
“Okay,” he finally said.
“Danki.”
As Salina walked away, Jeff silently asked God for help again. It was time he worked through his fear and just did what he needed to do—whether or not Christiana would care.
* * *
“Gude mariye,” Simply Sara Ann said as she swept into the Bake Shop booth and smiled. “You were busy yesterday, weren’t you?”
“Ya, I was. Weren’t you?” Christiana set a chocolate cake with peanut butter icing on a shelf and then turned toward Sara Ann.
After leaving the Coffee Corner to avoid Jeff, Christiana had hoped to have a few minutes of peace and quiet before the customers arrived. But Sara Ann’s arrival had ruined that notion.
“I was.” Sara Ann joined her at the shelf. “Ooh. Chocolate kuche with peanut butter icing. My favorite.” Her smile was a little too friendly. “If you have any left at the end of the day, I’d like to purchase one to take home to my family.”
“Okay.” Christiana put another cake on the shelf. “Do you need something else?”
“Actually, I want to ask you something.” Sara Ann looked over her shoulder and then leaned in closer. “Did I see you and Jeff having another disagreement yesterday?”
Christiana pivoted to face her. “Why would you ask that?”
“I don’t know.” Sara Ann shrugged. “I just noticed some body language when Jeff left your booth at one point, and you looked upset after you followed him. You still looked upset when you left last night.”
Christiana studied Sara Ann as questions about her motives whirred through her mind. Did Sara Ann have feelings for Jeff? Did she want to gather more gossip to share with other vendors? Or did she really care about them?
“You know,” Sara Ann began as she moved closer to Christiana, “Jeff went through a tough time about a year ago.”
“What do you mean?” Christiana’s words were measured.
“Let’s just say someone he cared about broke his heart.”
“How?”
“It’s really not my secret to share.” Sara Ann took a step back. “I think Jeff should tell you.”
A group of customers stepped into Christiana’s booth.
“I should get going. Have a gut day.” Sara Ann smiled and then walked away.
As Christiana turned her attention to the customers, new questions plagued her. If Simply Sara Ann was telling the truth, maybe Salina was right. Maybe Christiana should give Jeff a chance to explain his confusing behavior. She still didn’t understand how he could be so rude, but deep down she’d always known he had a reason for the sadness she saw in his dark eyes.
* * *
“What did you mean when you said Marlin was too afraid to ask you out because he thought you liked someone else?” Christiana asked Leanna as they ate lunch at the high-top table in the Coffee Corner that afternoon.
Leanna chewed and swallowed a bite of her tuna fish sandwich and then took a drink from her bottle of water before answering. Around them, customers sipped coffee and ate donuts while Bethany worked the counter. The sweet aroma of mint mocha filled the air.
Christiana had invited her three cousins to eat with her today, but Salina’s Farm Stand was too busy for her to take a break, and Bethany’s line of customers didn’t seem to end either. Christiana was grateful Leanna had agreed to close her Jam and Jelly Nook to visit with her.
“Well, I think that’s all there was to it. For some reason, he thought I liked someone else.” Leanna grinned and shook her head. “He was so gegisch, but we were also very young. I had liked him from the time I was thirteen years old, but I was always too naerfich to tell him.”
“Oh.”
“Do you think that might be why Jeff got upset yesterday?” Leanna asked. “Maybe he got the wrong impression about you and Reuben?”
“I don’t know, but it’s occurred to me.” Christiana looked down at her liverwurst sandwich. “I had a strange visit from Simply Sara Ann this morning.”
Leanna groaned. “What did she have to say?”
“She said she noticed that Jeff and I seemed to be arguing again yesterday. And then she told me someone broke Jeff’s heart about a year ago. That’s all she would tell me, but she pretty much confirmed I’m right that he seems bedauerlich all the time.”
“Huh.” Leanna rested her elbow on the table. “So maybe Salina was right when she suggested you give him another chance.”
“Ya, I guess so.” Christiana touched her bottle of water, moving her fingertips through the condensation.
“What else is bothering you?”
Christiana sighed. “You know I’ve only dated a couple of men, and those relationships didn’t work out.”
Leanna gave her a little smile. “Maybe that’s because they weren’t meant to work out. Maybe God hadn’t led you to the right man yet.”
“Maybe.” Christiana took a bite of her sandwich.
“I’m not suggesting you marry Jeff, Christiana. I’m just suggesting that maybe you should talk to him or at least let him talk and listen.”
Christiana nodded as her throat suddenly dried. She was barely able to swallow her food. “Ya.”
“Gut.” Leanna smiled. “How are things at your booth today?”
“Busy as usual.” Christiana closed her eyes for a moment. “But I really needed this break.”
“I did too.”
As their conversa
tion turned toward the market, thoughts of Jeff lingered in the back of her mind. She resolved to listen to him the next time he approached her.
Now she just had to wait and hope.
15
Jeff rubbed the back of his neck as he stood at the entrance to the Bake Shop late that afternoon. A constant stream of customers had kept him busy all day long, and his hope for his booth had been renewed. The wallets were a success, and when a customer asked about personalized leather journal covers, a new product had been born in his mind. He planned to design a journal cover tonight.
But even with his new success, thoughts of Christiana had lingered at the back of his mind as he contemplated what Salina said.
He’d spent all day trying to work up the nerve to talk to Christiana, and now he stood watching her pack up her supplies.
Her back faced him as she loaded empty boxes and serving platters onto one of her baker’s racks.
When she faced him, she gasped, cupping her hand to her mouth.
“Jeff.” She pressed her hand to her chest. “I didn’t know you were standing there. How—how are you?”
She was so pretty that he couldn’t speak for a moment. He stared at her, his courage dissolving. Then he stood a little taller. He could do this. His father had faith in him. Lewis had faith in him. Salina even seemed to. Now he had to find faith in himself.
“I’m okay. You?”
“I’m okay.”
An awkward silence passed between them.
“Do you want something?” she finally asked. Her expression seemed more curious than annoyed.
“I have a lot to tell you. Could I please give you a ride home today?”
She paused and then nodded. “Okay. Just give me a few minutes to call my driver and cancel my ride.”
He was so shocked by her agreement that he felt off-balance for a moment.
“Why don’t you finish getting ready to go, and we’ll talk in your buggy,” she suggested.
“Ya, that’s perfect.”
Thirty minutes later, they were riding side by side as he guided his horse out of the parking lot toward the road. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Christiana sitting erect with her hands folded in her lap.
“What do you want to talk about?” she asked after giving him directions to her house.
“I want to apologize for my behavior yesterday,” he began as he kept his gaze fixed on the road ahead. “But first, I need to tell you that I have a difficult time trusting people.”
He interpreted her silence as an invitation to continue. “I was engaged a year ago,” he said.
He heard a small gasp escape her lips. “You were?”
“Ya.” He paused. “Her name is Ella, and we dated for a few years. We were going to be married, and I built her a haus on mei dat’s farm. She told me what she wanted, and I built it. It even has the wraparound porch she said she’d dreamt about since she was a little girl.”
He gripped the reins tighter. “We were going to build a life there. She talked about having a big family, and she even had names picked out for our future kinner. Life was going to be perfect, she insisted. I was supposed to take over the farm when mei dat retired, and she said she was looking forward to being a farmer’s fraa.”
“What happened?” Her voice was full of curiosity.
“She changed her mind on the day of our wedding.”
“Are you kidding?” Christiana’s voice rose. “She broke up with you on your wedding day?”
Oh, how he hated to recount this story! Yet Christiana deserved to hear the truth. He took another deep breath and nodded. “She came to mei haus two hours before the wedding was supposed to start and called off not only our wedding but our relationship.” He halted the horse at a stoplight and then turned toward her, fearful of her reaction to his painful secret.
“Wait a minute. I’m trying to understand this. Ella backed out on you on your wedding day after you had built her a haus?” When he nodded, her expression grew fiercely angry. “How could she do that to you after all you’d done to prepare a life for her?”
His shoulders relaxed at her support of him.
“That’s despicable,” she snapped.
“I know. That’s why I’ve been so hesitant to trust people. I’m still recovering from the way she treated me. And since then, my instinct is to expect the worst from others.”
“So that’s why you opened your booth,” she said, seeming to put all the pieces together. “You said you needed a change in your life.”
“Exactly.”
“And that’s also why you seem so bedauerlich.” Her expression warmed as she pointed to his face. “I see it in your eyes.”
He was stunned silent for a moment. When he looked out the windshield and found the light had turned green, he guided the horse through the intersection.
“Why were you so upset when I came to see you at your booth last Saturday?” she asked.
“Ella and her husband were at the market. I saw them just as you walked over to me. They were over at Sara Ann’s—”
“Hold on. She broke up with you on your wedding day and then married someone else?”
“That’s right.”
“When did she marry him?”
“About six months later.”
“Jeff,” she said, “I am so sorry.”
“Danki.” He stared straight ahead so he could avoid looking into her kind eyes again, but her concern felt like a balm to his battered soul.
“Had you told me why you were upset, I would have understood.”
“I’m sorry about that.” He blew out a puff of air. “I never meant to hurt you.”
“It’s okay. I understand now. I noticed them with Sara Ann that day, looking at a quilt. I’m sorry she hurt you so badly.”
He pressed his lips together. He didn’t feel worthy of Christiana’s precious friendship, a friendship he thought he’d lost. “After she broke up with me, mei bruder said it was probably better that we didn’t get married because she wouldn’t have been froh. Still, it hurt me back then, and it hurts me now.” He felt vulnerable, almost naked, revealing so much of his broken heart to her. But at the same time, it was a relief to admit the truth.
“I can’t even imagine how much it hurt.” Her voice was soft, almost reverent.
“So that’s why I’ve been such a terrible freind. I want to trust you, and I want to get to know you. But there’s still this voice in the back of my head that tells me you could hurt me.” He hated the tremble in his voice. “I like you, but I’m naerfich.”
“I like you too.”
He smiled, but then he recalled the man in her booth yesterday. “May I ask you something?”
“Of course.”
“You said you didn’t have a boyfriend, but you were flirting with that man who came to your booth yesterday and bought a pie. Who was he?”
“You must be talking about Reuben. I wasn’t flirting with him.” She laughed.
He bristled. “It looked like you were.”
She waved off the comment. “He came to buy a pie for his girlfriend. It’s their three-month anniversary.” She clicked her tongue. “Is that why you glared at me?”
“Ya.” He felt heat crawl up his neck.
“Jeff, he’s just mei freind. We’ve known each other since we were in school.”
“Did you date him?”
“No, we never dated, but he was always nice to me.”
“Do you like him that way?” The words tasted bitter on his tongue.
“Jeff, are you jealous of my friendship with Reuben?”
Jeff didn’t know what to say. What a foolish mistake he’d made!
“I promise you I’m not interested in him,” she said. “I’ve had only a couple of boyfriends, and the relationships never lasted very long. They ended it after a couple of months.”
He briefly shut his eyes. Why would a man in his right mind break up with Christiana?
“I used to wonder if somethi
ng was wrong with me,” she said.
“There’s nothing wrong with you.” He tried his best not to smile at her silly comment. “They obviously were the ones with the problem.”
“That’s nice of you to say.”
As he led the horse onto her street, past the rolling patchwork of lush, green pastures, disappointment filled him. He wanted to ride around for hours so their conversation could continue. Now that Christiana knew the deepest of his secrets, he wanted to know her in the same way.
“That’s my driveway.” She pointed ahead. “I’m so glad you gave me a ride home.”
“I’m grateful you agreed to give me another chance.” He led the horse up her driveway toward the large, two-story brick home.
“I’m sorry I misjudged you—again. I know that day at the picnic table I apologized to you for the same thing, but my cousins have been trying to tell me that I’m still too quick to judge and assume the worst.”
“I’m glad we’re both giving the other another chance.” He halted the horse by the path leading to the back porch. “I’ll help you get your supplies.”
“Danki,” she said.
He unloaded her rolling racks and then walked to the back porch beside her. He nodded toward the ramp her father had built for her. “Do you want me to take these up for you?”
“No, danki. I can handle them.” Christiana turned toward him and smiled. “But would you like to stay for supper?”
He blinked, surprised by the invitation. How he’d love to share a meal with her and her family! If only he hadn’t promised Mamm . . . “Danki, but mei mamm is expecting me at her haus. Maybe another time?”
“Okay.” She nodded. “Be safe going home.”
“I will.” He turned to go but then stopped when she called his name.
“I promise I will be a gut freind to you,” Christiana said. “Just give me a chance to prove it, okay?”
His chest swelled with warmth as he took in her stunning smile. “I want to be a gut freind to you too.”
“Of course. Gut nacht, Jeff.”
With a spring in his step, he headed to his buggy. Maybe he could learn to trust again with Christiana’s help.