by Sky McCoy
It happened again last night and I knew he’d mention it if I attempted to give him more of the same. After we’d showered and shaved and headed for bed, he lay there hoping that I’d at least let him inside me. I lay back, he fondled me, jerked my cock, trying his best to get me hard the way I’d been before with him.
However, I leaned over him, dragging my slick cock’s head from his hips to his groin, between his legs and sat back on my haunches, then I wrapped my palms around his muscular thighs and pulled him down to rim him, my tongue entering his ass.
I knew this wasn’t his favorite thing. It was mine whenever he’d made love to me, but I needed to make love to him so he didn’t know that I had so much in my headspace that I couldn’t stay hard for the life of me.
With me giving Jeremy a blowjob, he’d get satisfied and have his orgasm not the way he enjoyed it—with me on all fours, or on my back with him kissing me, where he’d enter through my tight ring. I’d hear a moan of pure pleasure coming from his lips just as he’d tighten his body, then I’d have ropes of heated cum inside and out with my skin covered with cum, and we’d have to take another shower.
I could tell by his expressions that he’d been mixed up, and didn’t care for me forcing a blowjob on him. I’d been living with him the past week, and although he didn’t reject me, or what I’d offered to replace his shaft being inside my body, instead of moans and groans of pleasure I’d come to enjoy, he’d been silent when I made love to him.
The sound of his voice when he’d fucked me was enough to have me hard for days, but without that connection of our bodies together, and him buried deep inside me, all he’d gotten lately was a tight mouth to suck him off, and deposit his cum.
I knew this couldn’t go on any longer because he could get that in the back of a club, or bath house. I was sure he expected more from a man he’d asked to marry him, and who’d said that he loved him. I did love him with all my heart, but my mind was full and I couldn’t function for long, and Jeremy was tiring of me switching on him. He’d been used to me being hot and ready to take him on, but now I wasn’t the man he’d first met. Therefore, I had to do something to get my mind off of what was bothering me to the point that I was about to lose this man, and fuck up the best person I’d ever had in my life. On this particular morning, he’d gotten used to me not letting him inside my body, and he began to talk dirty as I’d swallowed his cock down my throat.
I knew he couldn’t hold out for long because his cock would harden in my mouth, my tongue would taste the salty drips of cum, and before long his balls would tighten, his fingers would grab my hair, and he’d cry out for more.
One night I suspected that he realized what I was doing. He’d caught on that I was avoiding him making love to me, and that I didn’t want him to fuck me.
He lay next to me naked, waiting for me to take the hint. Finally, I’d stopped thinking about the doctors and what they would have to tell me. That was when I watched him palm his cock and stroke it. I tried not to notice Jeremy’s frustrations, but who couldn’t with a handsome man with a hard cock pressing it against your ass. I turned around to face him.
“Are you going to take off your clothes?” Jeremy questioned. “I sleep in the nude and I’d like you to do that as well. You’re with me now.”
“This tee makes me feel comfortable. It’s like sleeping with your favorite blanket. It makes me feel secure.” I moved my palm over the cotton tee.
“That’s why I’m here to give you the security that you never had, Green Eyes. Think of me as the Daddy you always wanted.”
I chuckled, “If I thought of that, I’d never get hard.” Then I moved down his body, kissing his neck and sucking it until it was red. Jeremy reached and took a fist of my hair as he moaned when I kissed his nipple. I didn’t stay long there because I didn’t want to think about how I could be disfigured if the oncologist gave me the worst news of my life where I’d have to meet with a surgeon.
Hell, I had to face my fears because if I couldn’t, I’d never be an effective sexual partner with Jeremy, and he’d probably leave me if I couldn’t function. Who would stay with a man you just met, and convinced to own up to who he was when I couldn’t even face that I could be ill? I was afraid that the only man I’d truly loved would leave me if I told him that I was sick, and I could be out of commission for months if not a year.
What man wanted to enter into a relationship and then the partner he’d had hot sex with suddenly went cold on him, and couldn’t get his dick up because he’d been taking chemo all day.
Our relationship had only lasted for a few months and just got off to a good start the last few days, yet here I was where I couldn’t get my dick hard because my mind and head were full of what ifs.
When I looked up into Jeremy’s handsome face, I knew how lucky I’d been to snag a man like him. I didn’t waste a moment. I lay over him with every intentions of sucking his cock and found my mouth over his and our tongues in constant battle.
Jeremy groaned into my waiting mouth when I fell to my side as we faced each other kissing, I pulled his hand from his cock, and took possession of it with mine. It was the warmth and slickness of Jeremy’s length against my shaft that awakened my passion, and to my surprise, my cock became hard as a rock against his.
Reaching for the lube on the table, I spilled some onto my hands, then wrapped my hands around both of our cocks and worked them together.
Jeremy’s mouth opened, and he said, “Fuck, but this is hot, Green Eyes.” His hips shot forward as his steely cock slid against my hard length, my hand jerking up and down, squeezing both members in my fist.
Breathless, Jeremy opened his eyes. “Wow, baby. You have skills. I would have never thought you jerking us both together would make me feel this way,” Jeremy admitted, breathing hard and fast.
I didn’t know that I’d finally became aroused with that move as I looked down at our cocks sliding in and out of my fist. Thoughts and fears rushed through my mind, but the rush of heat through my body threatening an orgasm calmed those fears.
I’d never been this free before. I’d never thought about this with Phillip, and now I knew why. I’d never been this hot for any man with just the feel of our stiff dicks touching and the warm pre-cum oozing from our slits mingling together. I’d never fathomed before that sex with a man would be this hot, this arousing, and this sexy.
Just when I knew that Jeremy was ready and I’d been waiting for him, my hand firm and tight around our cocks, jerking even and quick as we breathed and kissed each other’s mouths with the passion of two animals in heat, ropes of warm cum spilled into my hand as the head of our cocks touched, dripping and mixing our cum together.
I’d had my first orgasm since I’d been sleeping with Jeremy at his home. However, I realized that Jeremy’s body was still writhing, and his cock was full as it jerked and leaked inside my fist against my spent shaft. When I released his cock, pushed him on his back, with him eyeing me, his mouth opened, begging me not to stop. It was then I eased down his legs, holding on to his muscular thighs. With my palms on his legs, I opened my mouth to take his cock down my throat.
Jeremy groaned out loud, like a lion who’d fucked every lioness in the pride he’d just taken over. I felt the rumble in his chest when he emitted the last of his cum into my mouth. He placed his hands under my arms and dragged me up to meet his eyes.
I swallowed his cum, watched as his eyes brightened, and he said, “Green Eyes, do you know how much I love you?” I wondered if he loved me enough to hear bad news. Did he love me enough to have another life to take care of if or when I told him? Did he love me enough not to feel sorry for me?
Did he love me enough? All I knew was I loved him enough to be whatever he wanted and desired of me.
I loved him enough to be a parent to his child.
I loved him enough to help him with his brother Carter.
I loved him enough to forgive him if he walked away from me once he found out.
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Chapter 3
Dorian
I’D WORN A TEE TO BED last night to prevent Jeremy from kissing my nipples. I’d been relieved that Jeremy had gone into work early and left me in bed. I’d been thankful because I had to make an appointment to see the oncologist and I really didn’t have that much time today. I had to do some packing of my things at my apartment if I was to bring them over to the new house tonight.
Christian had been texting me because he had been worried that I didn’t follow through with the doctor’s appointments. I hadn’t called for an appointment to get my results and I didn’t want to have that argument with Christian just yet. I guessed I’d buried my head in the sand hoping that it would all go away. However, Christian wouldn’t let me forget. When his text came in for me to see an oncologist because he’d made the appointment for me, I knew what that meant.
“Get off your ass and get to the hospital,” Christian had said. “Die young and make a beautiful corpse. Is that what you want?”
Fuck no. I want to live long enough to see Jacqueline go to college, and me and Jeremy have the house to ourselves, where we can fuck in every room, and go on a vacation with just the two of us, I thought as Jeremy was preparing to leave for work.
“I’m leaving, Dorian, what are you going to do now that you’re officially on vacation? You’ve packed and cleaned better than the maid service,” he said, kissing me.
“I’m going to go to the house and make sure that everything is set for us to move in and take Jacqueline out to the park. We both need our vitamin D.”
“You sound like a doctor. Talking a little too much to Christian are we? I hear he and Tyler are an item now. You wouldn’t know because you don’t check your messages.” Shit, I didn’t think Jeremy was paying attention. I thought if I distracted him with what he called those killer blow jobs that he’d forget that I hadn’t let him fuck me. I didn’t know how long I could keep that up, but I had a few more things in my toolbox. Maybe a sixty-nine. I’d suck his cock and he’d suck mine. That should make for an interesting if not hot evening.
“Tyler said that Christian had tried to call you and text you, but you never turned your phone on.” No I hadn’t turned it on. It was like I thought that if I didn’t hear any bad news that everything would miraculously disappear, but life didn’t work that way. Life waited around for you to make up your mind, and if you waited too long, bam, everything got fucked up and you couldn’t un-fuck it.
“I’m leaving now, baby. I still have these proposals to work on for Max. I could do that in my office here, but I know that nothing would get done. I’d be sucking your sweet ass and you’d have my cock down your throat. How do you get it that deep?” Jeremy questioned as I watched his cock tent in his dress slacks.
“It’s a family secret,” I whispered. “I come from a long line of cocksuckers. If I give away that secret I may have to kill you,” I joked.
Jeremy chuckled. “Sounds like you’ve been talking to Jack. That’s his favorite word for Thomas and Jarrett.”
“Where is Jack anyway?” I questioned Jeremy before he left. The doctors had asked me to bring someone next time I came for the results. They’d said that it would be a good idea to bring my partner, or a friend.
There was no way in hell I’d bring Phillip for him to share my medical history with that animal killer. If Eric heard that I was sick, he’d probably whip up some kind of concoction to put me out of my misery. Eric staying in my home too long would be enough to send me over the edge, and have me leaping off a building, so no thank you. I didn’t want Phillip anywhere near me when I finally spoke to the doctors.
Jack could be the likely substitute for Jeremy, and he’d be secretive enough not to tell anyone, I thought. It appeared as if he had been open to keeping secrets because of his military background, therefore, he’d be the perfect choice and he made me feel secure around him as if he was the big brother I’d always needed when I’d gotten bullied in school by the guys in gym.
Jeremy had told me that Jack had been the first in his family and school to own up to being gay, and he didn’t give a fuck what other’s thought.
To me Jack was the likeliest person, and it would be a good idea to ask him to go with me for moral support. Who would be better than Jack when it came to advising me about Jeremy? Jack could tell me if Jeremy was the kind of man who would stay around for a sick boyfriend.
A sick brother didn’t count. Family had to be different, it was family after all. Family had ties I could never have because I hadn’t married Jeremy, nor had I been his boyfriend for long. Therefore, I couldn’t measure Jeremy’s empathy and sincerity by the way he treated his brother Carter. However, I thought Jack would tell me the truth, though I didn’t know if I could handle the truth.
“Jack’s back at his hotel,” Jeremy answered, but slanted his head and gave me a closed smile. “He only agreed to come here, and stay until I had a nurse, and you can see I have one.”
And that was another problem. I didn’t know what was up with Parker, but he’d been a little too possessive. Granted, he wasn’t gay and I didn’t have to worry about him in that way, but I knew I wasn’t one of his favorite people.
Jeremy bent and trailed his lips over mine and then kissed me and whispered to me. “If I have to die, I’d prefer it with my cock in your mouth, or this wonderful ass,” he palmed my ass, “I’d prefer my cock in your ass.”
If I had to die, I’d prefer to be lying in my bed with Jeremy by my side, my head on his chest with him holding me tight. I’d gotten so gloomy these days that I hardly recognized myself, but Jeremy had been so sweet and patient with me.
He’d gotten up every day that I’d been with him and made breakfast for us. Parker would stroll in and watch me for a while, get his coffee and leave. When Jeremy asked if he wanted him to put a plate out, Parker would say in a sour voice, “I can cook. I’ll cook something for myself after I feed Jacqueline.” And he’d traipse out of the room with a baby bottle, before staring at me and narrowing his eyes.
I’d gotten the impression that he didn’t care for me, but tough shit, I wasn’t going anywhere. Well I hoped that I wasn’t going anywhere too soon. Just looking at Parker gave me the will to want to hang in there.
That morning I’d been surprised when Jeremy took off behind Parker after he’d aimed that intimidating stare at me. I watched as Jeremy followed Parker into the hall after he’d been rude to me, and I heard Jeremy say, “Parker, you can’t talk to my fiancé like that. You have to get along with him, or you will have to be dismissed.”
“I can’t leave. Jacqueline needs me. Do you think Dorian—?”
Jeremy cut him off, “He’s Mr. Hart to you. You have to call him Mr. Hart and when we’re married call him Mr. Westbrook.” There was a long silence and Parker lowered his eyes and when he saw me he raised his head.
“Is that all, Mr. Westbrook? Jacqueline’s bottle is getting cold.”
“Yes.” Jeremy turned, meeting me in the hall, and apologized.
This morning I hadn’t heard Jeremy leave for his office because my headspace had been filled thinking about what happened yesterday. And I’d been focusing on the physician’s questions on my first visit.
I’d realized that I knew nothing about my family’s history. We’d never talked at the table like some families did. Everything centered on my father. I never knew how my parents met. Well, I thought I heard someone talking about how they were at a church social and my father had lost his first wife, and he’d been looking for another, and my mother was the lucky—or unlucky—lady he’d chosen to marry.
We’d never visited her family because his was more important to him and he was the center of attention. My father didn’t think my mother’s family met his moral standards. The evening I admitted that I was gay at the dinner table, after he’d seen me kissing that boy, and I couldn’t deny it, my father looked to my mother and said, “Now that’s why I didn’t want you associating with anyone in your family.”
As if you could catch being gay like a cold or disease. It was then that he asked me to leave that very night.
And I did.
Chapter 4
Jeremy
Our relationship had been difficult for both myself and Dorian the way it began, and it was heading to an unintended ending because Dorian wanted the truth from me, and I didn’t trust myself or him or the strength of our relationship enough to survive telling Dorian about a baby, a sick brother, and not to mention two homophobic Westbrook men and a nurse that was overprotective, bordering on obsessive.
Thank God I’d told him when I did, and we had finally gotten past that.
I had to change, and I hoped I’d been on my way to achieving that change because there was no way I could go back. There wasn’t even a road map that said go back to being straight, go back into the closet, go back to women. Therefore, here I was at the midpoint in my life, and all I could do was keep moving ahead with Dorian.
I couldn’t function with a woman if she’d wanted me, or I’d wanted her, which I doubted would happen, nor did I see any man who could set my heart on fire the way Mr. Dorian Hart did me each morning and each time I’d been near him, or looked into those fiery green eyes.
When I’d first spotted Dorian, I was ready to tell the world and Annalisa that I was gay. However, by now she must have known about me and made some excuse to her friends and everyone who asked about what happened to the wedding invitations.
I can hear her excuses now. “That’s news to me. I didn’t know he was gay, if I had, do you think I would have stayed with him that long. I gave him the best years of my life.”
Everyone in my office and those who knew me and of me, some who didn’t, had to be whispering about Jeremy Westbrook coming out of the closet by now. Thomas’s wife, Alice, would have seen to that if only to promote Thomas as being gay friendly, like some hotels and airlines advertised, Pet Friendly, to get more people into hotels or on airplanes.