by Sky McCoy
Alice and Thomas, that pair of conniving self-serving social climbers, would do anything to win the governorship by claiming to be a friend of the gay community.
With powerful gay men and financial resources behind them, and no one to prevent them from reaching into their own pockets to pay for the enormous advertising campaign it would take to win, there could be no way of stopping that power-hungry couple.
I knew Thomas wouldn’t put the brakes on until he’d taken every penny of our inheritance to finance his political endeavors. That was the only reason why I’d offered to lend my voice to be the poster boy for the gay community, because he’d misuse our inheritance and Carter’s, and squander it away on winning the governorship, no matter what he had to do to get elected. And once elected he would use the remainder of our money, if there was any left, to climb to the next step. And I knew what that step was.
He had plans for Jarrett too.
I’d decided it was time to see Carter this evening. I knew he was upset that no one had been to the hospital to see him lately, however, I had so much to do and I didn’t know if I’d make it to the hospital this afternoon where I had to put to rest Carter’s fears. I had to let him know that it wouldn’t be long before I could bring him home with me, Dorian, and Jacqueline.
Still, I had to provide Thomas with a report on what I needed to take care of Carter when I brought him to my new home, and I had to have a conversation with Parker as well.
Dorian only heard some of the conversation between me and Parker where’d I’d let Parker know under no circumstances that when it came time to choosing between him and Dorian, that Dorian was more important to me than the service he performed as a nurse. Dorian hadn’t heard everything I’d said to Parker.
Before I walked out of the house, and after our conversation in the kitchen and hallway where Parker had been rude to Dorian, I marched behind Parker into the nursery and closed the door not wanting to alarm Dorian. I knew I should have spoken to Parker before, because he’d progressively gotten worse thinking that he was indispensable. It was my fault. I should have nipped this in the bud before it turned into all-out war between Dorian and Parker.
As much as I didn’t want to lose Parker, I thought I should let him know that if it came down to the two of them, he’d have to go.
When I heard Dorian go to our room and turn on the shower, I crossed my arms and met Parker’s eyes. He sat in the rocker waiting to hear me out.
“Parker. I love everything that you’ve done here, and I appreciated your dedication and love for my baby, but let me be clear. If I have to choose between you and Dorian, there will not be a contest. I love him and if he asked me, I’d get rid of you in a minute.”
Parker’s eyes grew wide and his mouth fell open, and for once he didn’t say anything. It wasn’t that he didn’t expect me to be so blunt, he just hadn’t expected it this soon.
After a long silence Parker found his voice. “Then who will take care of Jacki?” Parker questioned with a smirk as if he knew the answer.
“I’m sure Dorian would love to fill in until I find a suitable nurse.”
“Are you sure? Have you asked him to leave his job and devote that time to a child? My wife thought I was dispensable too when she divorced me, then she found out how difficult it was to raise children as a single parent. It wasn’t more than a week before she called me back.”
“Look, Parker, I don’t know what occurred between you and your wife, and I can see that it’s painful to lose a wife or a partner for that matter, not counting your children. I’m just telling you to get along with Dorian because I don’t want to lose you. There’s no debating on who will leave. Dorian’s going to marry me, and he’s going to be the other parent. He’ll be here long after you’ve gone.”
“I will never leave Jacqueline unless you fire me or—”
I had no intentions of firing Parker. I saw the desperation in his eyes because of his need to belong to a family and be around my little girl. I had to make him understand that Dorian wasn’t trying to take his place. Dorian had been perfectly happy knowing that Jacqueline had been in capable hands while we worked.
“I have to go now. I don’t have time to discuss this any further. I just need you to understand what’s at stake, and I don’t want to wonder if I will come home to find two men warring in my house.”
“Don’t worry it won’t come from me. I’ll mind my business and not get in Dorian’s way.” Parker picked up Jacqueline and the way she responded to him broke my heart, knowing how much Jacqueline loved him, and I’d have to fire Parker if he persisted in his attitude when it came to Dorian.
“Parker, I hope you meant what you said.” I turned, headed out the room, out of the condo, into the elevator, then out to my car and headed to my office.
I called Jack on the phone number he’d given me. “Do you want to meet for lunch?” I needed to get the full story on why Jack had returned from Los Angeles. He’d been secretive even as he’d said that he’d tell me if I picked him up from the airport. I had, and he’d changed the subject several times. I went along with him, realizing that maybe it was something painful that he didn’t want to talk about. He’d changed the subject and asked about Dorian, and how we were getting along.
“I can’t, Jeremy. I have too much to do today.”
“Like what? You never said what you did to keep a suite at that expensive hotel or how you came about that Corvette.”
“It’s a secret big brother. If I told you everything I do, I’d have to kill you,” Jack chuckled. That was his way of skirting around the truth. Yeah, that expression sounded just like Dorian, and yes, he must be talking to Jack, but why?
“Maybe next time,” Jack said.
“I know this outdoor café where we can eat, have a drink, and watch men’s hard asses.” I thought that would get him.
“Why would you want to watch men when you have someone like Dorian?” I could see that didn’t work, and now he was getting me to wonder if he’d go after Dorian if we broke up. I wasn’t planning on breaking up with Dorian, not now. Not ever.
“It’s not like I suggested we go cruising for fuck’s sake, Jack. Lighten up. I’m calling a family meeting. Maybe then we can get together.”
“Why would you want to do that?”
“I have to, Jack. I can’t let Thomas and Jarrett skirt their responsibilities. Thomas controls Carter’s money and ours did you forget?”
“I don’t give a fuck about the money.”
“Well, not everyone is as rich as you. The last time I checked you weren’t that prosperous.”
“I don’t spend money like you, Jeremy. You have that expensive home and it’s enormous.”
“That’s where all my money is going. I have a separate apartment for Carter on the grounds, and I needed quarters for Parker. He needs his privacy too. And you whenever you breeze through on your way to who-the-fuck-knows where, will have a room and bath.”
“Don’t worry about me, Jeremy. I can take care of myself.”
“I can’t worry about you, I have Carter remember and Dorian and Jacqueline, and then there’s me and that’s why I take the time to deal with Thomas. Money doesn’t last. I could be wiped out tomorrow.”
“But then you’ll have Max and me.”
“You?”
“Yes me. If you ever need money just ask, and I’ll get it to you.” I was sure Jack would do his best to help me out, but I didn’t need him to rob a bank, or do something else more outrageous where he’d have some unsavory characters chasing after him. I just didn’t need that headache.
“Jack, I’m not in need of money. I’m good. I just want Thomas and Jarrett to live up to their responsibilities and I need you around to remind them of that.”
I heard a groan before Jack said, “Just let me know when you’re going to call the meeting, and I’ll be there. Don’t expect me to be happy, and don’t expect me to be civil.”
Knowing how Jack felt about Thomas, I wou
ldn’t dare try to muffle him. Thomas and Jarrett were long overdue for anything Jack needed to throw at them, and they’d better come prepared like a hockey goalie because those hockey pucks from Jack hit hard and fast.
Chapter 5
Dorian
Every morning with Jeremy had been different and every morning had been magnificent. I found myself smiling and forgetting how quickly the days were passing and I still hadn’t contacted the doctors to get the results of my biopsy. I’d read Christian’s text and still that hadn’t motivated me to do what I knew had to be done—call and get the whole thing over with.
As soon as Jeremy kissed me, and our heated lips met, I wrapped my arms around his neck, intentionally forgetting what lay ahead for me once I walked into the physician’s office. Purposely I tried being in the moment with Jeremy, having that fantasy life with him not wanting him to leave me where I had to be confronted with reality.
“Just hold me,” I begged.
With those few words that had been spoken to Jeremy more than once by me, they took on a new meaning for him because they were said in desperation, in finality, they came across that way, and Jeremy sensed something.
Jeremy had been close to me, he’d been inside me, he’d felt my pain and my pleasure. It was then I realized that he was a sensitive man, even as I thought he’d been arrogant and callous before I’d found out the truth about him.
“What’s wrong, Dorian?” He narrowed his eyes, “Is there something you want to tell me? I’m only going to work. You act as if you’re not going to see me tonight. You’re not going home are you, because we have lots to discuss when I return this evening? I have something I need to tell you, or ask you.”
He smiled and the happiness I saw reached those startling blue eyes, and wow, if I wasn’t in love all over again. My heart strummed in my chest as I returned his smile, reached for his jacket bringing him in for another one of his heart-stopping kisses. I needed to look into those captivating blue eyes and lose myself once again and remind myself of what I had. I needed to be reminded of what I had to fight for—everything I’d ever wanted in life, a way to belong and be loved by a man who was true to me.
Jeremy aimed a closed smile at me, shook his head, “Damn, but I love you.” I whispered the same in return. He palmed his length. “See what you’ve done to me. I’m going to be like this all day. Every time I think about being inside you, kissing you, hearing your voice, and how I can’t get enough fucking you, I’ve walked around the office with a serious boner. I had considered buying one of those dildos.” I laughed until it hurt. He smiled at me. “What? What did I say that was so hilarious?”
“You can’t be serious,” I snorted. “A dildo? For whom? Don’t tell me you’re a bottom. Just when I’d gotten used to that incredible cock in my ass, now you want me to use one on you, because I can assure you I won’t be using one not when I have you Mr. Westbrook.”
Jeremy glanced at me confused and furrowed his brow. “I thought that was what I needed.”
“I can see you know nothing about gay men toys. Tell me what were you going to do with a dildo?” I waggled my eyebrows. He raised his hands inviting me to school him.
“I think that’s the wrong toy for you. If you must use something at work, then let me get you a fleshlight.”
“If that’s what I think it is, I know I would never use anything like that when I have you.”
“Then my suggestion is don’t think about me. Keep your mind on your work and hurry home.”
“But I want to think about how you make me feel. I’ve never felt like this in my life. I enjoy that wonderful sensation that inches through me and has me smiling all day—”
I interrupted. “With a hard cock don’t forget. What are you going to do when you walk into a meeting and you have a tent and pre-cum stains in those perfect suit pants?”
“Yeah, you’re right. I’ll be home early.” Jeremy turned on his heels after aiming a wide grin my way, and strode out of the room, in the direction of the nursery to give Jacqueline a kiss before heading out to work.
I listened to make sure Jeremy had left the apartment, and eavesdropped to hear when Parker closed the door to his room after Jeremy closed the door to the condo. I didn’t want Parker skulking around listening to my calls. I suspected that was what he had been doing when I’d heard him walking along the hallway, then stopping at my door, and pausing on his way to the kitchen.
When I didn’t hear his footsteps any longer and I knew he wasn’t within listening distance, I reached for my phone.
“Christian, do you have time to talk?” I’d finally gotten through on the first try. I suspected that he’d been waiting for me to return his call or texts.
“Only a few minutes. Why haven’t you made an appointment to see the oncologist? Go back to your family doctor if you don’t want to talk to the oncologist first. I don’t care, but see one of the specialists on your team. In that department, they work as a team. You showed up and did the biopsy, that’s half of the problem solved. The pathologist will determine if the tissue is cancerous, and by now the reports should have reached your team of physicians. The oncologist is just one part of that team. Your results should be ready. They’re waiting for you to contact them to make an appointment.”
The way Christian kept saying my team, it was as if he’d been talking about football and the team was waiting for the quarterback to show up. Perhaps, but I was waiting for a coach to tell me what to do next because I didn’t have a fucking clue, and I didn’t want to see my team until I knew my coach was with me.
“If for some reason the results of the test were positive, your team will have everything worked out. These men and women are my friends who I sent you to. They are the best young group of doctors in Seattle. You’re in good hands, Dorian, so just go in and hear what they have to say. They will take care of you.” When I didn’t say anything and the silence had taken up too much time Christian said, “Have you told Jeremy yet?”
“No.” My voice was shaky and my mouth was dry.
“Why don’t you bring him with you?”
“I can’t?”
“Why the fuck not?” That was the first time I’d heard Christian curse.
“Because I’m afraid.”
“Afraid of what, the results? Or—”
“Of what he’d think, and I’m afraid that he wouldn’t want to take on any more problems.”
“If he loves you, you aren’t a problem.” That was easy for him to say. I was just a friend.
“I think he loves me, but you don’t know all the stuff he has to contend with.”
“From what you’ve told me about Jeremy he’s a very capable man,” Christian added trying to keep me upbeat, and lessen my fears. Christian had to be a great doctor, and I’d been lucky to meet him and call him my friend.
“Dorian, it doesn’t mean anything to talk to the oncologist first. His office probably got through to you before the others. You can’t put that off, no matter how you feel about what Jeremy will do. If he loves you, it won’t matter. You need to hear the pathology report. The doctors have to talk to you. Do you understand, Dorian?”
The silence was loud yet no one was saying anything. I opened my mouth and finally filled that dead silence that had taken up space in my head.
“Yes.” That was all I could say. I wasn’t ready. I didn’t want to face this shit today or alone. I had to get some backup, and that was why I thought about Jack. Who better to contact than a Marine who knew about life and death?
I didn’t have Jack’s number, but I did know that he had a suite at the hotel where I’d seen him, and thought he was Jeremy. I’d take a chance and go to see Jack and hope he’d come to meet the doctors with me.
Today I had so much to think about, and I’d been putting off asking my mother about anyone in the family who’d had cancer. When I had to fill out the forms in the doctor’s office, I didn’t know if anyone had developed any type of cancer in my family, and that meant
I had to talk to my mother before I did anything. If she didn’t answer, I’d have to see her which had me in a panic.
When I ended my call with Christian, I assured him that I’d see the doctors. I thought I’d take a chance calling my mother to get more information where the doctors could give me a better assessment of my chances of survival.
I’d prefer calling my mother instead of showing up at her door the way I’d planned to do if I couldn’t get in touch with her today.
I’d been so fucking upset not about the cancer, but seeing my mother. That alone would traumatize me and I’d probably die from facing her before the cancer got to me. I reached for my phone near the bed.
“Mom,” I squeaked out the words. I could tell my voice sounded weak even though I was a man of twenty-five and hadn’t seen her in years. To me I sounded like the child I knew years ago and the one I didn’t want to be now.
I thought I would be a man when talking to my mother. However, talking to her, I was still that child that she’d sent away at the insistence of my father years before, into the cold and rainy day, with no place to go, nor a place to sleep for the night. I didn’t know if she’d been as pained about that as I’d been. If she was, she never showed it by trying to find me.
“Who is this?” Her voice seemed to take on the sound of my father’s. They said that if people were married for a long enough time they’d have some of the same characteristics in talk and behavior. I wondered what that would say about Jeremy and me if we were to get married and stay married a long time. I was sure we’d never reach the level of insensitive behavior of my father and mother with our child.
“Your son, Dorian.”
“I don’t have a son.” I thought she just said that to hurt me and try as I might, I couldn’t beat back the pain that soared through me. Perhaps I should have tried to see her sooner, but I never did. Perhaps I couldn’t forgive her for what she’d done to me. It seemed that the people who I trusted and loved the most before I’d met Jeremy, my mother and Phillip, had hurt me the most and try as I might, I couldn’t shake that empty gut-wrenching feeling of abandonment and loss.