The Eightfold Paths of BDSM and Beyond

by Lee Harrington

  Hypnosis

  This tool for creating an altered state of consciousness or focus has been used in various forms throughout human history. Whether as guided meditation for astral journeys or scripts to help stop smoking, talking with repeating words to anchor ideas into the mind or finding a voice that resonates by being at the right tone and inflection…all rely on breath. Smooth and calm breath is required to let the guided meditation be heard by the mind. Keeping the pattern of breath between the Guide and the Journeyer is necessary for repetition to anchor in its fullest. If one partner is breathing fast, and the other is slow and steady, one will affect the other.

  Hypnosis is a beautiful blend between ritual and breath. Hypnosis can be simple or complex, using verbal, physical or visual inductions. Stay away from negatives – the brain hears “smoking tastes like trash” far better than “don’t smoke.” Being aware that most of the unconscious mind is literal – “only the good die young” gets misunderstood as “if you are bad you will not die.” Be willing to roll with the punches, a hypnotist has the ability to work with the individual before them to achieve a wide variety of results.

  Prayer

  Another fantastic blended tool is prayer. It, gasp, is, gasp, very, gasp, challenging, gasp, to, gasp, pray…when you can’t breathe. Tapping into our breath is necessary to focus on what we are praying for, or how we are praying. Are we asking for a specific result from the divine? Is there barter involved? Is this some form of daily ritual that has no expectation of return but is instead a form of devotion?

  Whatever it is, think on the last time you prayed, or watched someone else pray. Some start with the deep breath in, the long pause during which they focus on their thoughts and feelings, and then the prayer begins. For others it is the long slowing of breath until there is a stillness. Still others clench their body down, biting their lip. Individualized ritualistic forms of breathing can evolve over the lifetime of an individual to help their brain know “oh, now I am going to pray.” The breathing style informs the mind to change from a left-brained analytical way of thinking into a right-brained intuitive way of thinking. This tool allows us to ask for what we want without feeling silly, and also creates a powerful tool for life change.

  If we are running around constantly thinking in strategic and sequential ways, the whole possibility of what we know and understand is not being accessed. In prayer, we open up a window for the divine (whether that is a shard of us that we don’t have access to or a spirit with a personality of some sort) to come out and show us irrational wisdom. Just as the painter sees things that the accountant does not, so does our spiritually-minded self-observe things that our business-minded self does not. The prayer associative tools that we have developed in life, or are learning to develop now, offer an opportunity for that access.

  Kink Tools

  Meditation can be powerfully transformed in kink by combining it with rope bondage, being penetrated with toys at the time, or other bodily experiences to help some kinksters ground all the more. Hypnosis has amazing applications in the form of erotic hypnosis, the entire field of using hypnotic and trance states to make fantasies real through guided meditation, or helping individuals transform their behavior through sexualized versions of these tools. But there are some Path of Breath tools that are available to erotic adventurers beyond the choices of the average Journeyer.

  Kissing Breath

  An inch away from each other’s lips, tandem breathing takes on an extra layer of connection and energy exchange with kissing breath. The air from one set of lungs enters the next, back and forth in a dance of power and passion. Lips touch lips and the dance continues. Closing the circuit completely is an option by one or both partners closing off their noses. or Adding in new air, new vitality to the equation, is possible by breathing through the lips and the nose at the same time.

  Power exchange takes on a whole new level when, during this breath and energy cycling, the sexually or energetically dominant partner closes off the nose of the other and stops their head from pulling away. The dominant partner, or dance leader, can stop the breath from time to time, then return it to normal, then ramp it up, then slow it down. They can add fresh air at any time by breathing in through their nose. These more advanced techniques require trust on both sides—trusting that the dominant partner will in fact grant that breath, and trusting that the submissive partner does not go into a fight-or-flight headspace, potentially hurting someone.

  Orders

  Just as a Guru can instruct us how to breathe, individuals involved in D/s relationships or encounters have access to additional passion while exploring breathing instruction and orders. Hold your breath until the lash strikes, then release with an explosion of power. Slow down and center. Pump your breath for me, build it up, that’s right. In addition to one-time orders, breath training is also powerful. Teaching one’s Slave how to respond to specific stimuli, via how they should literally breathe through what is happening, is one option, as is a Master or Mistress training themselves to breathe in ways that in turn calm or escalate the reactions of their partner.

  Gas Masks

  The simple act of putting on a gas mask, or having one put on you, is a huge tool for becoming aware of the importance of breath. For many individuals, putting on a gas mask can induce an altered state just by wearing it due to the mechanisms of the mask that require slowed breath to function. Breathing changes, sensations change, sound is restricted, and a sense of encasement or being held can also come into play.

  There are more advanced techniques involving gas masks and similar tools, but all should be done with caution, as anything more than wearing a gas mask (or even just putting one on for those who have any claustrophobia issues) can lead to severe complications such as passing out, panic attacks, or even death. These techniques include attaching hoses or rebreather bags to a unit, cutting off the intake valve/hose on a gas mask, or using tools not intended for this work, such as hoses, straws, or plastic bags. Rebreather bags or bladders are large latex bags that can be added onto the ends of gas mask hoses. Instead of getting new air with each breath, the gas mask wearer is re-breathing their old air. This leads to the individual getting lighter and lighter headed with each breath as hypoxia sets in from lack of oxygen to the system.

  The same idea is used with bagging, or putting a plastic bag over the head. WARNING: both rebreather and bagging scenarios have incredibly high risks involved, and should not be undertaken by solitary practitioners as it is hard to know, as the person getting light-headed, if you have had too much and may pass out. Even with a spotter or Guide, there are still risks with this sort of work. It is very easy for someone occupied with magical working or masturbation to lose sight of how close to fainting they or their partner may be, and if someone has a gas mask or plastic bag over their head when they pass out, brain cells can be damaged, and if left with the bag on, can lead to death.

  Smothering

  Including such concepts as face-sitting, latex sheeting over the face, having air cut off during a blow job or in breast worship, smothering can transform individuals into an altered state rather effectively. Along with kissing air, gas masks and other things that affect how much new air is being introduced into the system, smothering is considered air flow play, a sub-category within kink of what is known as breath play. Air flow has its concerns, but the bulk of its concerns come from engaging in the activities alone or in over-enthusiasm of one or both partners.

  It is very important to be aware that the more dangerous and deadly side of breath play is blood flow play. Including strangulation, nooses, choke holds, or cutting off of either the carotid artery or jugular vein, this sort of activity affects the oxygen and carbon dioxide already in the system. Blood flow play is so dangerous because we have no way of knowing what is happening inside our blood stream. Plaque can get knocked loose, causing heart attacks or strokes, and blood pressure can severely rise or drop, leading to passing out and confused messages within the brai
n and body alike. The Path of Breath uses the wide spectrum of activities on the air flow side of this work, and we will not be discussing blood flow play techniques in this book due to the dangers involved. No two experiences with any form of Breath Control are exactly the same. Even pearl divers in South East Asia, who hold their breath to collect their treasures, vary in how long they can hold their breath. Just because you or your partner was fine having their face smothered in breasts for 25 seconds last time does not mean that they can go that long again this time. Having a method of communication if it has gone too far is especially vital in all forms of Path of Breath workings.

  Processing the Circuit

  Our bodies rock back and forth into one another. Me into zir with each breath out, zir into me as I breathe zir in. We become a single circuit. We are a single circuit. Ze starts to growl with each breath. I can zim them calling to me, calling out my feral self, but all that comes from my lips are breath and silence.

  Ze locks eyes with me again and growls once more, growls again, pumps me higher and higher into zir with each growl. I can feel zir energy burn through me but it lodges in my throat. The breath passes, fills me up, but on the way out it feels like a dam holding me back. Eyes still locked we rock, pump, fill.

  Oxygen pumps, we pump, and in my throat emerges a sensation. A memory. I am a young child, and my classmates are calling me a freak. Calling me all sorts of names. I can feel the names etched on my throat.

  I fill with vision with each pump. The memories of going silent to protect myself. Of keeping my desires, my identity, myself locked away to keep them from hurting me again. Zir breath fills me and I see it clear as day, the child I was shutting down, closing off their dreams and truth from the world.

  Ze digs their fingernails into my back. The pain echoes through me. I keep pumping, keep breathing, but gods, I need to scream. I want to growl. I long to fight. But nothing, the block is still there.

  Ze beats my back with their hands as we keep pumping. I need to tell zim so much. I need to open up. I need to rage. But nothing, the block is still there.

  “Hold.”

  The world stops, and ze traces their fingers slowly along my skin. Tears well up, and then, as ze mouths “release” to me, laughter. Laughter cascades out of me. Laughter pours like sunlight out of my throat, and I laugh it all away. All the pain, all the names, all the suffering, all the silence. It pours out, I am high, and the world floats away.

  Chakras and Energy Movement

  Our energetic body is the part of ourselves where our life energy, or chi, flows. This energy is called a wide variety of things in different traditions: prana (Hindi), qi (Chinese), ch’i (Chinese), ki (Japanese), pneuma (Greek), koach-haguf (Hebrew), gi (Korean), lüng (Tibetan), power, élan vital (French), potential, spiritus (Latin). Interestingly enough, in many of these (prana, spiritus, qi), their original form translates just as easily to “breath” as it does to “energy,” and with the Hebrew ruach, spirit and breath are one and the same. Breath is energy, is potential, is power. Breath fuels our spirit, and our spirit fuels our breath. Understanding our energy is important when coming to know the power of our breath.

  There are many ways to examine our energetic body, but in my personal explorations, I have found the Chakra system to be a useful one for looking at what is happening within the structure of our spirit. Chakra means “wheel” in Sanskrit, and is visualized as a series of turning wheels, blossoming flowers or glowing points of colored light along the length of the body. Different systems of examining the chakras look at them as 6, 7, or 8 different points that join the energy within our being between parts of us, which keeps us powered and keeps our endeavors fueled. The energy is pumped along channels or nadis, with the chakras serving as pumping stations, processing plants, and churning cogs that keep the energy moving.

  The challenge is, just like in any system, clogs can stop the energy from moving smoothly. Sometimes, due to physical, energetic or emotional damage, a pump can wear down or be shut off, making the other pumps in the system have to work harder to keep everything functioning. When a clog builds up in a line, debris backs up and new (often less-efficient) channels are created by our energetic body to keep going. When an entire pumping station breaks down, debris from the entire system can be drawn to that area, until when we do try to get it moving again, it is stuck shut with muck and mire in addition to the original issues.

  In Sacred Kink we oftentimes become more aware of these energetic blockages than other times. This is because we are tuning into the energetic or subtle body more acutely, trying to run more energy through the system. In dayto-day life, those of us with clogged chakras or nadis are able to get along by finding new and creative ways to deal with what is coming at us without examining the fact that we are unable to process fully. But when we start doing sex magic, underlying emotionally intense BDSM, bearing witness to extreme experiences, going through ordeals or engaging in altered states, we start flooding over. Our heart aches from all of the sadness we have carried. Our head screams from the pain of all we start to feel but are unready for. Our root and genitals lock up, remembering our past abuses, fears, and feelings of not being safe.

  These are some of the reasons that many people perceive kink to be unhealthy. If people start breaking down, crying, or having to examine their pasts, then they must be being abused or harmed in some way. It must be the kink that is doing it. Kink must be bad.

  This is not the case. Kink is a tool. Kink allows us to get our energy moving, and in doing so it can churn up the gunk stuck in our works. It can be used as a tool to open up these energetic pathways and get our juice going again, to help us become aware of where our blockages are. To even help us, once aware, to start clearing out and opening up those pathways.

  Tread with caution though, because just like in ordeal workings, it is not for the Guide to determine if the Journeyer with the blockage is ready to work through it. Only the Journeyer can make that decision, and do it on their terms. If they do not, we risk the chance of harming them, leaving them resentful, or having them believe that the Guide is god-like and they must rely on the Guide for all workings in the future.

  Sometimes, a blockage is clearly from bodily symptoms, such as hemorrhoids for Muladhara or sexual dysfunction concerns for Scadhistana. Other times we can become aware of them because we have challenges with a topic of conversation. For those that are energetically aware, sometimes the associated area literally feels hot, cold, hyper-active or non-active to the touch. Some of us may be drawn as masochists to having one region hit over and over again, unaware that we are either re-traumatizing or trying to un-clog that chakra. As sadists, some of us may be likewise drawn to the corresponding parts of the bodies of our partners where we ourselves have blockages, hitting their upper back or chest obsessively when we ourselves are blocked in our hearts.

  In the most common chakra systems used today in Western thought, there are seven chakras, though other systems and names for the chakras exist. Each chakra is associated with a region of the body, energetic resonance, color, and emotional associations. No, you do not have to memorize the names to be able to use them as concepts. It’s okay, just take a peek, and see what you think. The chakras and their associated blockages are:

  Muladhara

  Known as the Root Chakra and associated with the color red, Muladhara is located at the perineum between the anus and the genitals. It deals with issues of survival, instinct, food, shelter, money (or the ability to survive through money), safety, and the safety of those we care about. When we talk about individuals with a stick up their ass, we are referring to those who have come to only process their root chakra energy in one way, are often stuck in place from fear over their safety or security on some level. They unconsciously disapprove or lash out at those who they believe threaten their way of life. This also includes issues such as co-dependency and obsession, for we can come to believe that our continued existence depends on another.

  Sva
dhistana

  Known as the Sacral or Womb Chakra and associated with the color orange, Svadhistana is located in the lower abdomen at the sacrum where the pelvis connects to the spine. It deals with issues of creativity (conceiving children and ideas alike), power, control, rape, violated boundaries, violence, relationships, basic emotional needs, pleasure, sexual shame, and military concerns. Not everyone has been raped, but most of us know the feeling in the depths of our being when we have been crushed, violated, or betrayed. It is not uncommon to compensate by destroying others, becoming ashamed, finding comfort in addiction, giving up all power, holding onto our power to extreme degrees, or trying to find pleasure in that which does not actually call to us.

  Manipura

  Known as the Solar Plexus Chakra and associated with the color yellow, Manipura is located above the digestive system at the solar plexus, behind the stomach on the level with the first lumbar vertebra. It deals with issues of self-respect, fear, anxiety, anger, wanting things in this world, self-confidence and how we transform base emotions into complex feelings and desires. It also processes intuitions, “gut reactions,” and emotions that “eat away at us.” If issues in Manipura are challenging us, we may settle for relationships or worldly things that we think we deserve as less-than-worthy, or may scream and rant in unhealthy or dumping ways.

  Anahata

  Known as the Heart Chakra and associated with the color green, Anahata is located in the center of the chest above the breasts. It deals with issues of complex emotions, forgiveness, compassion, tenderness, unconditional love, guilt, grief, rejection, resentment, abandonment, equilibrium, and well-being. Though individuals out of balance in Anahata may cut off opportunities for love or forgiveness, they may go the opposite way, sacrificing their health and wellbeing to try to save the world. The association with the thymus gland that affects T-Cell creation, has inferred that Anahata blockages can lead to immune challenges, on top of the “heavy heart” and stress that leads to heart attacks for so many.