“I’d be choosing a gown for the afternoon and then another one for the evening’s festivities,” Sammy’s face reddened also. “The thought at the back of my mind as I did all this would be that I had to stand out and prove to the other lesser noblewomen that I’m the Duchess of Cumberland,” she shook her head. “The shame of it all.”
They fell silent and couldn’t even look at each other, both of them feeling very petty and vain.
“This has got to change,” Sammy broke the silence after a while.
“How?”
“You have always given me a generous allowance to get the best gowns, hats and shoes, even a reticule and other accessories for the occasion. And also, you have always gifted me with a priceless piece of jewellery. This year why don’t we do things differently and use all that money for something worthier?’
“What do you have in mind?”
“We have servants and tenants on our estate, my love,” the endearment slipped out unnoticed but it warmed Allan’s heart. “There are many children on the estate. And I know that you try to give all our servants fair wages.”
“Yes.”
“What if we used all that money to make the lives of those around us better?”
“You mean like giving hand outs to the servants and tenants? Is that a very good idea?”
“Not in that way. People begin to resent those who give them hand outs and charity. The best way to show our servants that we value their service to us is by increasing their bonuses this year and then letting our tenants go rent free just for this month. I know that you collect hefty rents from them and a respite would do a lot of good.”
“Do you think that will work out better?”
Sammy nodded, “The extra money always comes in handy especially when given as a bonus. The servants will feel appreciated and the tenants will know that we highly esteem their contribution to the prosperity of our estate.”
“What do you think will bring the greatest happiness to those around us?” Sammy asked her husband the next day? His mother had sent over a note to that effect.
They had spent the previous day in Allan’s study working out the bonuses for each of their thirty servants who included the chambermaids, cooks, scullery maids, stablemen and gardeners as well as the guards. They had also written notes to their fifty or so tenants telling them that they had been absolved from paying rent for the month of December. It had been a long and very busy day for them but working closely together had given them both so much joy. Since they hadn’t yet sent out invitations to that year’s Christmas Eve ball they decided to be silent about it. If anyone asked them if they would be hosting the ball that’s when the person would receive their negative response.
“Won’t that be breaking protocol,” Sammy asked her husband.
“Every year other people grumble that they’re not given the chance to host the balls. Let someone else do it for a change and see how taxing it actually is,” was his sardonic response, much to her amusement.
When the day finally ended and they discussed their accomplishments over dinner, each felt deep satisfaction. And after dinner they had walked hand in hand to their bedchamber.
“My love since we decided that we won’t be hosting the Christmas Eve Ball this year, why don’t we give our servants enough time off for the holidays so they can spend a lot of time resting and getting ready for the New Year?” Allan asked.
“What about those whose families are very far from here?”
“If we give them an extra five days for the holidays then those whose families are far away can travel and be with them. And those who might not want to travel but continue working can then have the option of staying behind but with minimal chores.”
“I would love to cook for you again,” Sammy said shyly.
“You can cook?” Allan was surprised at the news.
“Who do you think used to help Mrs. Lamb to prepare those special meals that you enjoyed so much? I did a lot of cooking for you and the Dowager Duchess before you married me and I really miss that part of my life.”
“I never knew that,” he smiled tenderly at her. His wife was an endless fountain of surprises and he found that he quite liked finding out something new about her each day.
“I miss being in the kitchen with all those delicious aromas wafting around me as I prepared your meals.”
“Why did you stop?”
“Because you wouldn’t let me continue,” Sammy said sadly. “When it was announced that I was the new duchess, you gave the order that everyone had to wait on me hand and foot. The servants didn’t want to cross you and that meant that I wasn’t allowed to do the things I used to enjoy doing. Also, I didn’t want the servants feeling intimidated by my presence or that I was patronising them because my station in life had changed,” she gave him a tight smile. “Do you know how I’ve been spending my days when you’re not around?”
“No.”
“Come,” she rose to her feet, “I’ll show you.” He followed her out of the parlour and down the hall to the kitchen where the cooks and maids hastily curtsied but Allan’s focus was on his wife as she led the way out of the house. She took him down to the arbour and pushed open a small gate where he was surprised to see a large shed of some sort. She opened the door to reveal a well-lit thriving garden. “This is my sanctuary,” she said. “I have been growing herbs and spices which are used in cooking. Since the cooks won’t let me help them in the kitchen, I have been providing the ingredients they need. Also, some of these herbs are medicinal and I have been using them to treat the servants and their children whenever they fall ill. Mrs. Covers taught me a lot and this is my pride and joy.”
“I don’t know what to say,” Allan’s question about what his wife did in his absence was finally answered. “You’re such a special woman,” he held out his hand. “Come here,” he said softly and she went over to him. “It will be an honour to have you preparing meals for me. In fact, you and I will do it together starting tomorrow when we have sent the servants away.”
She looked at him in surprise, “It’s never been heard of that a duke would set foot in his kitchen to prepare his own meals. What will people say?” She moved away and bent down to touch one of her plants. He saw the loving gesture and knew that his wife was very different from the other wives of noblemen. He doubted that those he knew would ever dirty their hands with gardening. They would consider keeping a greenhouse beneath them and the work of servants; but not his beloved Sammy. And he felt a glow of pride at her industriousness.
Allan shrugged, finding that he really didn’t care, “I don’t care what people will say. If my duchess can cook then I’ll be right there beside her to hand her the utensils she needs and even wash up after.”
“Are you really serious?” Sammy felt warmth within her stomach that had been absent for a while now.
“To prove to you how serious I am, starting tomorrow the two of us will fend for ourselves. We’re going back to the house where I’ll summon all the servants and give them permission to leave early and be away until the New Year. Instead of the initial five days we had talked about let them have eight extra days before Christmas Day and five more after that. Everyone will report back to work on the second day of the New Year. The only people who will stay behind are the guards and stablemen, at least half of them. Even during holidays the estate needs to be protected and the horses fed and exercised. Then when the others return, those who stayed behind can have time off too.”
“Allan,” Sammy whispered huskily, feeling tears prickling at the back of her eyes.
“Come closer my love,” he pulled so close and they stood there for a long while just enjoying each other’s company. He had missed these tender moments with his wife. Sammy had longed to have her husband’s full attention and now he was giving it to her in great measure. “I’m willing to do everything possible to change. Will you help me be a better man for you and for our children?”
“Yes,” she said and r
eally meant it. They had a long way to go but they were off to a good start.
5
A Touch of Honey
“I know just the thing to do,” Sammy told her husband on the third day. It was seven days to Christmas Day and all but three servants had left to be with their families. Ashanti had refused to leave for London where his sister lived. But the Duke had told him to spend the time with his own wife and children since his services wouldn’t be needed as Allan had no intention of leaving the estate.
“I’ll be around if you need me,” he’d told them.
Like in the previous two days, the Dowager had sent them another note.
“Every year we buy expensive presents to exchange with our guests and friends because we are also expecting some in return. What if we gave to the poor and needy without expecting anything in return?”
“I thought we already gave bonuses to our servants and let our tenants go rent free this month?”
Sammy shook her head, “There are some other families in this duchy who aren’t servants or tenants. But they are poor and struggle to even put a single meal on their tables. The other day the vicar was telling me how much the orphanage is rundown after the last warden pilfered a lot of the money that was being given to support it. The sad thing is that the church might be forced to shut it down because of the deplorable living conditions of the children being brought up there.”
“How did I not know about this and what will happen to those children if the orphanage is shut down?”
Sammy twisted her lips, “I never wanted to bother you with such unpleasant issues. But I’ve been selling my spices and herbs and making some money which I have given the vicar to help feed the poor and needy and also have something for the twenty children in the orphanage. It isn’t much but it has helped a little bit.”
“If you had mentioned to me what you were doing, I would have given you so much more support,” he raised her chin. “You surprise me each day, Sammy. And it’s exciting to look forward to learning something new about you every new day. How foolish I was not to have paid more attention to you, my love.”
“I know what it feels like to go to bed hungry, not knowing if there will be something to eat on the morrow.”
“Come to think of it, you’ve never once shared your past life with me, Sammy. All I know about you is that you were raised by Mrs. Covers and you’re an orphan,” a shuttered look entered her eyes. In the past he might have ignored or brushed it all aside, or given her a gift to remove the sadness from her eyes. But not anymore! He needed to mend his breaking marriage and listening was one of the ways he was going to do it. And not just listening to the words coming out from her mouth but reading her expressions as well.
“I haven’t paid much attention to your life before but I’m trying, Sammy,” he rose at once and came toward her, his eyes intense. “We can’t build our marriage and make it strong if there are secrets between us.”
Allan’s gentle words disarmed her resistance and she wanted to pour her heart out to him but was afraid that if she did, he might see her as unworthy. “It’s nothing really.”
“That’s not an answer that I’ll accept from this moment going forward. In the past I overlooked a lot of things and took you for granted. When I met you, all I wanted was to marry you and make you my duchess. It never once occurred to me to find out what your life had been like before you came to work at the manor. That was purely selfish of me and I regret it so much because I’ve wasted a lot of time.”
“There really isn’t much to talk about.”
“That little that is there is what I want, no, I need to know about you, my love. I did you a great disservice by brushing your feelings aside. I have no idea if apart from Mrs. Covers there were any other relatives of yours,” he sighed. “Our wedding day was all about me and mine, never about you. I never bothered to find out if there was anyone else you might have wanted to invite and I’m very sorry.”
Sammy gave him a sad smile, “Apart from Mrs. Covers there was no one else in my life.”
“How didn’t I know all that?”
She shrugged, “It doesn’t matter now.”
“On the contrary, everything about you matters to me a lot. All I know about you is that you’re an orphan, nothing more. And it shames me deeply to know that I never cared enough in the past to find out more. And yet when I think about it, there were times when I knew you were struggling with sadness. But all I did then was to suggest something which I thought would be a solution or else I bought you gifts when I should have taken the time to find out what was hurting you. Please forgive me, my darling.”
Sammy saw a glimpse of brokenness in Allan and she really wanted to rejoice. But would it last? Still, for him to be actually addressing the things that had gone wrong in their marriage meant he was trying and she ought to give him a chance to redeem himself. She felt hope filling her heart at his words and acknowledged to herself that Allan had swept her off her feet and she’d been too dazzled by his looks, wealth and lifestyle to have thought of their lives ahead. Suddenly finding that she didn’t have to worry about where the next meal was coming from or rent for the small three room cottage in which she and Mrs. Covers lived had been freeing. And then Allan had bought the cottage for her governess because the woman refused to come and live at the manor with them.
“I have done my duty by you,” she’d told Sammy on the night before her wedding day. “I refuse to come and be one of those who hang on to their charges. It is enough that your young man has bought me this cottage so no one will ever bother me about the rent anymore. Go and live your life, Child, but never forget your humble roots. Let them always remind you that you are human so that you don’t turn into one of those snooty and snobbish women with titles.”
“I promise that I won’t ever change.”
“And don’t forget the Word of God by which I have brought you up. Be humble, be patient with everyone, love those who are unlovely and defend the defenceless. You are coming into the Duke’s house at such a time as this which means that there’s a lot that you can do to make the lives of those who are less fortunate better.”
But Sammy had forgotten. For nearly four years she’d lived her life by trying to fit in with the high society ladies and ignored those around her who weren’t as fortunate. Then reality brought her back to her senses and she realised that she was living a lie. She wasn’t as happy as she would have expected even though her closet contained too many beautiful gowns for her to count, some of which she’d never even worn. She had numerous pairs of shoes, handbags and hats and each season, Allan insisted on replenishing her wardrobe and its accessories.
“For what shall it profit a man to gain the whole world and lose his soul in hell?” she recalled the vicar preaching one Sunday morning. Mrs. Covers had never missed a single church service until the day she died, and she had made sure that Sammy was always in attendance too. But then after marriage she’d allowed the cares of being a duchess to derail her from her straight and narrow path and she couldn’t recall the last time she had actually attended a Sunday service and really listened to the preaching. It wasn’t that they never went to church, they did but not as often as Sammy would have liked. Many times they were caught up with entertaining guests or being entertained in their friends’ homes on Saturday nights. Come Sunday they would be too exhausted to go to church. And on the rare occasions that they did go to church, an entourage followed them and instead of the congregation paying attention to the vicar, they got dazzled by the fancily dressed men and women.
Many women and even men envied Sammy not just for being a duchess but also for having her husband’s unwavering love and his vast wealth at her disposal. But lately all that had felt like ashes.
“Vanity, vanity,” King Solomon had said, “It is like chasing after the wind.”
“Please talk to me, Sammy,” her husband begged. “Whatever it is that you want, even up to half of my dukedom, I will give it to you.”
> “No,” she whispered, “You’ve given me too much already and I would be a greedy ingrate not to appreciate what you’ve done for me.”
“Yet there’s something missing from our lives.”
Sammy nodded, “I never knew my parents because one of them, I have no idea who, left me at the church doorstep. So I was put into the church orphanage out there in London and for the next seven years that was my home. We depended on alms and charity and when there weren’t enough donations to take us through the days, we were sent out to the streets to beg.”
Allan exclaimed loudly but Sammy ignored him and went on. “Many of us became pickpockets or fell into wrong company. Bigger children on the streets would bully us mercilessly and even snatch away what we had collected. Going back empty handed to the orphanage meant sleeping hungry if we were so lucky. But most times when we returned without anything, we were flogged soundly and told to do better the next day. No one taught us how to read and write because we had to beg on the streets. So we did all we could to make sure that there was always a penny left even after our money had been snatched from us,” She pulled back the sleeve of her dress. “I wear long sleeved dresses all the time because of this scar.”
Allan was shocked to see a long jagged scar running from Sammy’s left shoulder down past the elbow and ending close to the wrist. How hadn’t he noticed this scar all this time? “What happened?” He couldn’t imagine the pain she must have been in when she got injured because the scar was big.
Amazing Love This Christmas: Historical Holiday Romance Page 4