I’m not sure how to respond to the old man. My slack jaw, wide eyes, and dead silence clearly conveys that fact. He could knock me over with a feather right now and I wouldn’t have enough in me to fight back.
“I wasn’t always like this, you know. Not that I was some hot shot, but I made a decent living to provide for my family. I’d worked for the same company for nearly twenty years, then I walked in to work one day only to find out I’d been laid off. They knocked me out with a single punch. I’d always worked, never been without a job, but I couldn’t find one afterward, regardless of how many times I applied.
“My wife was supportive and tried to help me in every way she could. But that demon depression got a hold of me and wouldn’t let go. What little money I received from unemployment started going to alcohol. Day by day, I drank more and more to escape from thinking about what a failure I’d become.
“You’ve heard the saying a drowning man can’t be saved, right? Well, I was drowning all right, but at the time I didn’t realize I had pushed my family under too. Let me tell you something, son. You don’t know pain until you see another man taking care of the woman you love and raising your children because you couldn’t do it yourself.”
His words sting like a thousand bees descended on me at once. I’ve been so focused on my past while roaming the neighborhood, not once did I consider what I could be giving up in my future. I walked out on Daisy tonight after urging her to tell me the truth and promising her we’d work through all our problems together. Isa and Landen were sound asleep in their beds, but my sole focus was myself. Then there’s Daisy, who’s been carrying this burden, along with my baby, unsure of how to tell me and afraid of how I’d react. Seems her fear wasn’t at all unfounded.
In one fell swoop, I could’ve lost everything that means anything to me.
With a single act, I could’ve become Chris Stone—the one person I’ve tried the hardest not to be. I haven’t spent most of my life despising him only to become him when I’ve found my soul mate. It’s time to pull my head out of my ass and realize the gifts I’ve been given.
“You’re exactly right. Thank you for sharing your story. I truly appreciate it. And now, I need to get back home as soon as possible.”
I get his name before I leave and head home.
Home, where my whole heart is.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
Daisy
After a long day at school, I had an even longer night at Rod’s house waiting for him to come back. He left his phone here, so I couldn’t even call to check on him. My eyes were wide open before the sun began peeking over the horizon, but there was still no sign of Rod.
Juliana called both of our numbers last night, but I didn’t have the heart to answer. How can I explain what happened here while she’s fighting for her life in the hospital? She obviously wouldn’t be able to reach him either. Her knowing about our problems will only make her worry more than she already does. I can’t put this on her shoulders too.
I called Tracy last night to bring her up to date and get her advice. She’s off the hook with the whole pregnancy charade, so she’s glad that part is over. She asked how Rod took the news, then exploded when I described the aftermath. When my phone rang early this morning, I thought maybe Rod was calling, but it was Tracy checking in on me.
“Daisy, none of my anger is aimed at you, so I’m sorry you’re catching the brunt of it. That man just infuriates me sometimes. Is he so self-centered he thinks he’s the only one who’s had a hard time with this plot twist? It’s not as if you did this on purpose—or alone. Even with technology advancements, it still takes two to cattle prod the old oyster ditch.”
She holds the phone away from her mouth, but I can still hear her clear as a bell.
“Kevin, your best friend is an asshole and I want you to tell him I said that next time you talk to him. He’s a selfish, spoiled, asshole of a man. I’d like to string him up by his balls and dunk him in a bed of fire ants.”
“Calm down, Tracy. We both knew telling him the whole truth would most likely be an ugly event. He needs time to come to terms with it, the same as I did. I’m not judging him based on his initial reaction. I’ll reserve that for how he handles it once he has calmed down and had time to digest what this means for all of us. The implications for Juliana are profound. She’s almost as much his daughter as she is his sister.”
“If my math is correct, you’re about fourteen weeks pregnant now. Is that right?”
“Yes, as far as I can tell. I have an appointment next week with the obstetrician. I’ll know more then. They’ve already scheduled an ultrasound since I haven’t actually had a real period in a while.”
“I’ve been thinking about this entire situation so much, Daisy. It’s a miracle you got pregnant at all. You’re a tissue match for Juliana. What if your baby is also a match? You could donate cord blood instead of bone marrow, which is better for everyone. You have decided to keep the baby, haven’t you?”
“Yes, I’m keeping it—whether Rod wants to be involved or not. I never told you this before, but when I found out I was pregnant with Landen, I went to the abortion clinic alone. For the first few weeks after I took the test, I couldn’t imagine keeping a child that was conceived under those circumstances. I thought he’d be a constant reminder of the worst night of my life. But when I reached for the door handle that day, I couldn’t open it. I couldn’t go through with it. I felt the little butterfly flurries of him moving inside me.
“I went back home and accepted I’d be a single parent. Though I didn’t know when or how I’d explain his conception to him one day, I knew I wanted him and already loved him enough to cover several parents. This baby won’t be loved one bit less, and if he or she can help save Juliana’s live and give Isa more time with her mom, I consider that to be a double blessing.”
“I’m glad you finally told me what happened to you. You know I’ve questioned the details for years, but I knew you had a reason for not telling me. So much more makes sense now that I have the full picture. Never keep secrets from me again though. Ever. Back to the transplant, when would you know if they can use the cord blood?”
“I read they can do an amniocentesis between fifteen and twenty weeks. They’d be able to tell me after that if the cord blood is a match. I’m going to ask the doctor about it when I go in next week. Hopefully I’ll have some good news to share with Juliana very soon.
“Even though it’s been a very long night, I need to go get ready for another long day of work. I’ll talk to you later, Tracy. Don’t get the Rod voodoo doll out just yet.”
We disconnect, and I turn around to find Rod leaned against the doorframe. His eyes are bloodshot, his clothes are disheveled, and his eyes are brimming with pain and regret. I gasp audibly from the surprise and drop my phone on the bed. Before I can utter a word, he steps toward me with his hands up in mock surrender.
“Daisy, I’m so sorry about last night. I’m sorry about how I reacted and how I handled the news. All of it. I’m sorry I rushed out of here and left you to deal with everything alone. But most of all, I’m sorry for not being the man you deserve when you needed me… when you trusted me to be.”
“Where have you been?” I said I’d reserve judgment, but now that he’s here, I have questions that need answers. “You were gone all night. Who did you run to see?”
“When I left, I intended to go for a drive alone and clear my head. I ended up in my old neighborhood. I went back to where we lived when my parents were still together, my sister wasn’t sick, and I could enjoy being a kid. No job, no responsibilities, no world on my shoulders. After I walked around for a while, reliving my childhood, I met a man who knows my father.
“At first, I basically dismissed the good things he said about Chris because I’ve never gotten over how he betrayed us. Chris walked out and left us to fend for ourselves when Juliana was sick. Then my mom got sick, and I blamed Chris for her death. There’s no way he could win with me. I e
ven refused to find him when Jules continued to get worse.
“Something the homeless man said early this morning reminded me of you and your huge heart. He said Chris has been coming around, bringing food, blankets, and supplies to help them out. He thinks maybe Chris is trying to atone for his past in ways that others will allow him to—probably because I’d never give him a chance with his family.
“Daisy, I don’t want to be that man anymore.”
“Only you know what you have to do, what changes you need to make, Rod. When you left last night, you were so mad I wasn’t sure you’d come back. While I was here, I thought you may wait until we left for school this morning.” I’m being generous in my description. I thought he’d wait, but I also thought last night was the end of us.
“Daisy, as much as I hate to admit it to anyone else, I live on raw emotions. Just because I get mad doesn’t mean I don’t care. In fact, it’s when I stop getting mad that you should worry, because at that point I truly don’t care anymore. But I told you I love you, and that means I love you forever. I’m nothing without you. You’re all I want or need, Daisy, and nothing will change that. You can question everything else in the world, but never question my love for you. No other woman has ever had it before, and no one will have it after you. You’re my one and only, babe.”
His words are like the sweetest arrow, piercing my chest and anchoring in my heart. I want nothing more than to believe he’s sincere, that he’ll never run away. That we’ll spend our lives together. But can I trust him? Will he bolt every time we face a major hurdle?
“Tell me what you’re thinking, Daisy.” He takes another step closer but remains cautious.
“I’m thinking I want to believe you. Change is hard though. That’s why so many people revert to what they’re used to rather than fighting through the pain. You’ve survived on your own terms for a long time, Rod. Do you know how to let me in? Do you know how not to take off in the middle of the night and shut me out?”
“You know, I actually gave that some thought before I came home. To get an objective view, I had to take the emotional component out of mix. I asked myself what I’d do if someone pulled that shit in a client meeting at work. Those are high-stake meetings. My company’s reputation is on the line. We have to be professional and de-escalate issues to protect our employees’ livelihood and keep our clients. I realized I’d never have someone on my staff who acted the way I did last night. If I can keep a cool, calm, and collected head while dealing with multi-million-dollar deals, I have to employ that same strategy at home. Because my family is the most important thing in my life. You, Landen, Juliana, Isa, and our baby. That’s my family, my life, and my reason for living.
He inches closer and closer as he speaks, but I don’t realize how close he is until his fingers graze my cheek, whisking away the stray tears that escaped despite my best efforts to keep them under control. He feels like my forever, and I desperately want to be his too. He propelled himself into wealth and success with his business during a time most other people would cave under the pressure. Instead of turning to dust and rubble, he became a diamond in the rough.
I have to believe he can do this for his family too.
“Talk to me, beautiful.”
“I love you, and I missed you last night. The bed was too lonely and too cold without you.””
He throws his arms around me and pulls me into a tight embrace, burying his face in my neck.
“I swear I’ll never let you down like this again, Daisy. We both know I’ll screw up again in the future, but it won’t be by leaving your side.”
“I’m sorry for keeping everything from you for so long. You had a right to know too, and I kept that from you. I’m not making excuses for my behavior, but you should know why I avoided talking about it. You’ve been a career bachelor, and even though you raised your sister and niece, I was afraid you really didn’t want a family of your own. When the oncologist called, I really struggled with having the baby or saving Juliana’s life with a bone marrow donation. And… part of me was afraid you’d want me to have an abortion—for Juliana, but also for you.
“Saying that out loud really makes me sound selfish. I’m sorry, Rod.”
“You don’t have to apologize. That’s an impossible choice—my unborn child or my sister. It’s no wonder why you were so conflicted. After my trip back to my childhood home, I stopped at the hospital and had a long talk with Juliana. She promised to listen to the doctors and do everything they say so she can remain as healthy as possible until we’re able to move forward. She told me about the conversation at your mom’s and how she refused to accept the donation if you terminated the pregnancy.
“She feels like she has stolen enough of my life and wanted me to experience this little slice of heaven. Of course, I cleared up that confusion, so we’re good now. She’s never been a burden or a ball and chain that kept me from living my best life. Neither are you, nor is our baby. My life is richer and worth living because of who’s in it, not the money or possessions. I love you, Daisy. Thank you for not giving up on me when you’ve had every reason to justify doing just that.”
He covers my mouth with his and teases my lips apart with a sensual lick across the part. His tongue slips inside and assaults me in an erotic dance as it twists and cradles mine with its velvety touch. His kiss sears me from head to toe, heating my blood and my skin to the boiling point. With a few steps backward, my back presses against the wall and I melt into him as his fingers knead my skin. Then his hands slide down below my behind and he hauls me up with his sheer strength. My hands move down his body until my fingers land on his belt buckle. When his erection springs free, he growls with need and buries himself deep inside me with one swift thrust. With our frenzied pace, neither of us lasts long, but the need to reestablish our connection has been satisfied.
He reluctantly releases me on shaky legs, then he follows me into the bathroom. In the shower, he takes the soap and washes me, taking special care with my stomach. As the water rinses the suds away, he kneels in front of me and places tender kisses just below my navel. His voice is low and raspy with emotion, but I make out part of what he’s saying, and it brings me to tears.
“I promise to love you with my whole heart, every single day of your life. One lesson I’ve learned all too well is any day could be our last. You’ll never know how it feels to be unwanted, unloved, or unworthy. Your daddy can’t wait to hold you.”
Happy tears. I’ve never cried so many hot, happy tears before this moment.
When he stands, he leaves his hand over our baby. “Last night was bad, but it was good for me in a lot of ways. I had to shake off all the old wounds I’ve held on to so I can move forward with our future. When you get home, I want to talk to you about an idea I had. It's not as good as the offer I made you to be my personal sex slave, but it’s close. I’d ask you to call in sick today if I thought there was a chance in hell you’d actually do it, but I know better. Instead, I’ll put the proposal together and present it to you this evening.”
“Almost as good as the sex slave offer? This I can’t wait to hear.”
CHAPTER TWENTY
Rod
When I first met Daisy, all I could think was wrong time, wrong place, wrong man. Now I can’t stop thinking about right time, right place, the only man. As long as I can prove I finally have my act together and my head screwed on straight, we should be able to weather any storm life throws our way. My first act as a new man is to further a cause near and dear to her heart.
Her summer camp initiative has helped a lot of kids, and she has every right to be proud of her accomplishments. If she approves of my plan, her budget problems will be a thing of the past. While she’s been at work over the last couple of weeks, I’ve been toying around with this idea. After my realization last night, I’m sure this is the right path.
I’m eyeball deep in my presentation when the phone rings and I absently answer it.
“Yeah?”
“Hey, man. Listen, I’ve been instructed to give you this message. Remember, this isn’t my fault. You are a selfish, arrogant asshole, and when my girlfriend gets a hold of you, you’ll get a tongue lashing unlike any verbal assault you’ve received before. What the hell have you done?”
I give Kevin the Reader’s Digest condensed version of my severe fuck-up last night.
“I’m glad you came to your senses. I had to talk Tracy out of posting a bounty for your head on the dark web forums. I’ll tell her she can stand down now.” Kevin chuckles, but I have no doubt he got an earful from Tracy about our friendship.
“You know, I choose to look on the bright side and be grateful my girl has such a protective friend watching her back. Daisy and I had a long talk before she left for work today, and we are good now. That brings me to a proposition for you, Mr. CEO.” Over the next half hour, I explain my proposal to Kevin and ensure I have his buy-in for my idea before Daisy gets home.
“Wow. You’ve really surprised me, Rod. Never in a million years would I have thought you’d be so head over heels for someone. I like your idea a lot. Let me know what Daisy says when you share this plan with her. If it has her blessing, we’ll move forward as soon as she’s ready. You know you have my full support.”
We hang up with a promise to get together soon so we can formally celebrate our good news. After Tracy has had the requisite amount of time to calm down and not try to castrate me on sight, of course. My only wish is Juliana could be with us.
My visit to see her in the hospital was a little more contentious than I conveyed to Daisy. While my sister and I have a great relationship, she doesn’t hesitate to put me in my place when I need it. I’ve put enough stress on both Daisy and Juliana, and I didn’t want to add more.
All of Me: Rod & Daisy Duet Box Set Page 42