Hollywood Prince

by Natasha Madison

  “You’re beautiful,” he tells me, and I don’t answer him. I just look out the window and stop myself from overthinking it. I’m the mother of his child; that is the only thing I am to him right now. It’s really the only thing I have left to give him.

  Chapter Thirty-One

  Carter

  “Are you nervous?” I ask her, looking over at her. It’s been ten days since she told me she’s pregnant with my child. Ten days since I realized I loved her even more than I did before. Ten days since I’ve started to breathe again.

  “A little,” she says, and she flips through the pages of the magazine. I’ve been with her every single day. I am trying not to get her so annoyed she tells me not to come back or stops seeing me.

  Every morning, I take off from the set and drive over to her house with a ginger tea to help with her morning sickness. Then I rush back, and we go through things. I set up to have food delivered to her work and also snacks during the day. The minute I’m done on set, I call her and show up with dinner. Every night when I get home, I sit in bed wishing she was with me and that I could hold her in my arms. So far, she hasn’t pushed me away and told me not to come back, so I’m going back.

  “Erin Crest.” The nurse calls her name, and she gets up, and I follow her into the examine room. An examine table sits in the middle of the room. “You can change into this.” She hands her a hospital gown. “But first, I need a urine sample.” She hands her a plastic cup. “I will be in shortly.” She nods at us and then turns to walk out of the room. Erin goes into the bathroom and comes back with the gown on and holding the back closed.

  After a knock on the door, the nurse comes back in. “You can sit on the table,” she tells Erin. She walks to the little stool and then steps up to sit in the middle of the table, leaving her feet hanging. “I’m going to ask you a couple of questions. When was your last menstrual cycle?”

  “Eight weeks ago,” Erin answers, and I just wait at the side as she asks all sorts of questions. She grabs the urine sample, going over to the counter and dipping something inside. She waits three minutes and writes down something.

  “You are officially pregnant,” she says and then smiles at us. “The doctor will be right in,” she says, walking out and then after another knock on the door, the doctor comes in.

  “Hello there,” he says, smiling to Erin. “I’m Dr. Graves.” He turns to look at me. “Nice to meet you.” I shake his hand, and he comes over and grabs the chart, reading it. “Okay, let’s get you checked out,” he says and walks over to the stool in the middle of the room and asks her to lie back. He raises the stirrup and tells her to put her feet in them.

  “Carter.” She calls my name, and I walk over to her. “Stay on this side.” She points behind her head, and I don’t understand it until I see the doctor put on gloves, then grab what looks like a long beige stick. He grabs a condom and puts it on this thing and then squeezes some lube on it.

  “What are you doing with that?” I ask him, ready to grab Erin and run out. Nothing I read online about pregnancy mentioned something that looks like a gigantic fucking condom-wearing dildo with lube on it going anywhere near Erin’s vagina.

  “She is still early in her pregnancy, so it’s easier to use a vaginal ultrasound than a regular one,” he says and then turns off the lights. He moves the gown up and pulls the machine to him and puts it in Erin.

  “Does that hurt?” I whisper to her, and she shakes her head. I see the worry in her face. I push back the hair on her head and lean down to kiss her forehead. “I’m right here,” I tell her. I hold her hand, and she lets me. She hasn’t gotten close to me in ten days. Each time, she shies away from my touch, making sure if I do touch her, it lasts three second before moving away.

  “You are going to feel some pressure,” the doctor says, and then he looks at the gray and white screen. “All the black is fluid.” And then I look at the screen, amazed; he uses his finger to circle the big black circle in the middle of the screen. “This is your uterus, and in the middle is the amniotic fluid,” he says, and then slowly, a white thing comes into focus. “And in the middle of that is your baby.” I watch the screen. “You look to be about eight weeks,” he says and then points at what is the head and then the body.

  “See this flicker?” He points at the small white thing blinking on the screen. “That is your baby’s heartbeat. I’m going to take some measurements.” He does something that makes a blue mark appear. “You are just a little over eight weeks,” he says, and then the baby makes a sudden movement and flips over. He presses something, and it sounds like static, and then the sound of swooshing fills the room. “And that sound is your baby’s heartbeat,” he says, and I can’t even stop the tears from rolling down my face as I watch my baby move again.

  I look down at Erin, who is watching the screen as tears roll down her face. She turns and looks at me. “Our baby,” she says to me, and I just nod and lean in to gently kiss her lips.

  “Our baby,” I say, smiling now, my chest feeling so full.

  “It’s one hundred and seventy-nine beats a minute,” Dr. Graves says.

  “Is that normal?” I ask, concerned.

  “Yes, that is where you want it to be. It’s supposed to be between a hundred and sixty to a hundred and eighty,” he says. “We have four limbs, two arms, two legs.” I rub Erin’s head while he continues taking measurements, the sound of the baby’s heartbeat still filling the room. I grab my phone and take a video of the baby moving. He takes the stick out of her and then cleans the condom off and wipes it down. “So everything looks good. Do you have any questions?”

  Erin shakes her head, but I ask him about twenty-five questions, and he just laughs at the end. “Someone did their research,” he says. “I will see you again in a month.” He nods at us and walks out.

  “I’m going to go change,” she says, getting up and walking back into the bathroom. When she comes back out, we go back to her place, and I park the car. She took the day off. I follow her up the stairs and into her house. Walking to the middle of the living room, I turn to her.

  “I know that you will never forgive me,” I start saying, and she stops moving and looks at me. “I know that I have no one else to blame for that by myself. And I know that one day our child is going to ask why we aren’t together, and I’m going to take complete blame for it,” I say, my heart pounding thinking about how horrible that day will be. “It’s going to suck.”

  “Carter,” she says softly, wringing her hands. “We don’t have to tell them anything.”

  “No,” I tell her. “I want them to know that he or she was created with love.” I watch her with tears now running over. “That I love their mother with everything that I have, and I will never stop loving her.”

  “Carter,” she says again, and I hold up my hand.

  “You don’t have to say anything.” I shake my head. “You owe me nothing, and I owe you everything.” I take a deep breath. “All the good in me is because of you. That you showed me what it was like to love someone without any strings attached. You showed me that, Erin, so thank you.” I need to walk out of the room. “I’m going to go. Call me if you need anything,” I tell her and walk out the door. I walk to my car and get in, driving back home. I watch the video over and over again. I watch it until all I can do is hear the heart beating through the tears in my eyes.

  I’m sitting in bed watching some infomercial when my phone rings, and I see it’s Erin. I jump up and answer it right away. “Erin?”

  All I hear is sobbing and heavy breathing. “I think there is something wrong with the baby,” she says, and I’m running around the house, putting on clothes and rushing out the door. “I woke up, and there was blood,” she says, and my heart sinks as she quietly cries.

  “Baby, you need to breathe,” I tell her, getting into the car. “I’m on my way right now.”

  “I’m scared, Carter,” she says softly between her sobs, and I race over there. I don’t even turn the ca
r off when I get to her house and run up the stairs. The door is open, and she is lying on the couch crying.

  “Come on, baby,” I say, taking her in my arms. She wraps her arms around my neck and cries into my neck. I put her in the car and drive there with my hand in her lap. When we get to the hospital, I park the car right in front of the emergency doors, leaving the keys in and running around to get Erin. She gets out of the car, and we walk inside. The halls are quiet in the night.

  The nurse looks up when we come to the desk. “I’m eight weeks pregnant, and I’m bleeding,” Erin tells the nurse, and she gets up, coming around the desk. The nurse takes us to a room and asks Erin to undress and get into bed.

  We don’t say anything when she undresses and gets in the bed. I sit on the bed next to her. “Baby,” I whisper, grabbing her hand, “it’s going to be okay.”

  “You don’t know that,” she tells me.

  “I don’t, but I know that you’re the strongest woman I know,” I tell her. The nurse comes back into the room, wheeling equipment with her. I stand beside Erin, holding her hand. Bringing her close to me, I kiss her head, and she looks up at me. “I’m right here.”

  “Okay,” the nurse says, grabbing a white bottle and squeezing some blue gel on Erin’s stomach. “This is going to be cold. I don’t know if I will be able to see like this. If not we will get the other machine.” She grabs a piece of equipment and puts it down on her stomach moving the gel around. She turns on the machine, and the baby is there. “Everything looks okay,” she says, and then we hear the swooshing sound fill the room. We look at each other, both sighing in relief. “Everything looks okay, but I’m going to have the doctor come in,” she says, turning the machine off and taking a towel and wiping Erin’s stomach. I sit on the bed next to her, pushing her hair behind her ear, and she holds her belly in her hand.

  The doctor comes in and checks her, telling us that everything is okay, and that bleeding isn’t uncommon, but he would like to keep her overnight for observation. I stand by her side, making her know that I’m here for whatever support she needs. When she finally falls asleep, I get up and walk out the door, bringing out my phone. I scan until I find the name I need.

  “Hello.” Ryan answers at the end of the first ring.

  “Hey, it’s me,” I tell him and take a deep breath. “We are at Cedar.”

  “What happened?” I hear the worry in his voice, and I hear rustling in the background. “I’ll be there in twenty.” He disconnects the phone, and I walk in and sit on the chair beside her bed, watching her chest rise and fall. Twenty minutes later, the door opens softly, and I see that it’s Ryan. He comes into the room, and I look to see if Erin is awake, but she is sleeping. “Is she okay?”

  I nod my head. “Yeah, she’s good.” My eyes don’t leave hers. “She was bleeding,” I say, ignoring the lump in my throat.

  “Did she miscarry?” he asks, coming to sit in the chair next to me.

  “No,” I tell him. “The doctor said it’s not uncommon to bleed.” The tears now escape, and I look over at him. “I thought my heart would stop,” I tell him, sitting forward. “When she called me and was crying, I swear, Ryan, my heart only started again when I saw her.”

  “Carter, do you love her just because she is having your child?” he asks me, and I just shake my head.

  “I would give my life for her,” I tell him. “Even if she wasn’t having my child.”

  “Then I suggest you do something about it before it’s too late.” I look at him. “Because you don’t want to just go through the motions for the rest of your life. I did that, and I don’t recommend it.” He looks at me. “Don’t let her slip through your fingers.”

  “I don’t know how to get her back.” I tell him the truth.

  “Tell her.” He grabs her hand and kisses it.

  “I don’t know if she will ever forgive me,” I tell him. “I don’t deserve what she can give me.”

  “You don’t,” he says, “but she does. She deserves a man who will love her with everything that he has. Who can make her smile, who can hold her hand, and wipe her tears away.”

  “I want to be that man,” I tell him, watching her. “I want to be there with her every day, all day.”

  “Don’t let it get away from you,” he says to me. “Don’t let your fear get in the way.” I nod my head and sit with him until she wakes up. She opens her eyes, and we both move forward to her.

  “Hey, honey,” Ryan says to her, and she looks at him and then at me.

  “How are you feeling?” I ask, and she just puts her hand on her stomach.

  “Scared,” she says softly, and I just nod. “Do you think they could do another ultrasound?” she asks me.

  “I’ll get the doctor,” I tell her, knowing that I will pay for a private machine if it will make her sleep better. I walk out and see the nurse. “Sorry, Erin is up, and we were hoping we could see the doctor.”

  “I’ll send him right in,” she says, and I walk back to the room and take a deep breath before I open the door. The bed is empty, so I look at Ryan.

  “She’s in the bathroom,” he says, and then I nod at him and wait for her to come out of the bathroom.

  “No blood,” she says hopeful. “Not even spotting.” She gets back into the bed, and the doctor comes in. When we ask for another ultrasound, he nods and gets the machine again. I stand beside the bed, holding Erin’s hand in mine as we look at the screen. When he places the gel on her and the swishing sound fills the room, my heart is so proud. Ryan leans over and kisses Erin. “Is everything okay?” Erin asks, and the doctor nods.

  “Everything is looking good,” he says. “I would like you to follow up with your OB.”

  “Can I have a picture?” Ryan asks the doctor, who nods and prints out two. He hands one to Ryan and one to Erin. She sits in the bed, holding the picture of our child in one hand and holding my hand in the other.

  “You are free to go,” he tells us, and Ryan gets up.

  “Do you want me to drive you home?” he asks Erin, and I look at her as she looks at me.

  “Can you drive me home?” she asks me, and I smile. Ryan kisses her goodbye and tells her he’ll check in with her later today, and then she gets up and goes to change. She leaves the picture on the bed, and I sit down and take a picture with my phone. She walks into the room dressed. “I’m ready when you are,” she says. We turn and walk out of the hospital. I drop her off at home and then place a phone call to put my first plan into action.

  Chapter Thirty-Two

  Erin

  I pick up the phone when I see it’s Carter. “Hello?”

  “Hey there,” he says. “I was wondering if you would come out with me.”

  “Where?” I ask, sitting up. It’s been two days since the whole hospital scene and the day I woke up with blood soaking through my underwear. So far, it’s been smooth sailing. I mean, minus the morning sickness, which is turning into the all-day sickness. I have crackers stacked everywhere and munch on them all day.

  “I want you to see something,” he says. “It’s a surprise.”

  I close my eyes. As much as I fight being nice to him, my heart just can’t let him go. Now the fact that I am carrying his child is just so much more. “Sure. I just got home.”

  “I can pick you up in thirty, and we can stop for food after,” he tells me. I walk to my closet and change out of my work clothes and put on yoga pants. I’ll need to get some new clothes very soon because the ones I have now are starting to feel a little snug. The knock on the door comes just as I’ve tied my running shoes. I walk to the door with my purse and open the door. He smiles when he sees me. “You’re ready.”

  “I am,” I tell him, and I walk out of the house and follow him down to his car. “Are you going to tell me where we are going?”

  “Not yet,” he says, starting the car. “It’s a surprise. Do you want me to stop and get you something?”

  “No, I’m good for now,” I tell him and look
out the window as he makes his way to the hills. We pull up to a black gate, and he presses a number on the key pad. We drive into the driveway, stopping in front of a white house.

  “What is this?” I say, getting out and seeing that when you walk to the door, you have two garages on each side.

  “This,” he says, opening the door, “is my new house.”

  I look at him shocked and step into the foyer. The house is freaking huge. I step into the living room, looking up at the upstairs landing. “Are you moving?” I ask him, my heart beating.

  “Come upstairs,” he tells me and walks to a circular staircase. I follow him up, and he brings me to an empty room. “This is going to be the baby’s room.”

  “What?” I ask, looking around the room with beige carpet.

  “Two days ago, I thought for the second time in my life that my heart would stop,” he tells me, and I watch him. “The first time was when I lost you.”

  “Carter,” I say his name softly, not sure I want to hear this, but knowing that I can’t not listen.

  “When I lost you, it felt like an elephant was crushing my chest. I used to drink to black out all of our memories.” He takes a huge breath. “I didn’t think I would ever find a reason to go on.” He smiles at me. “Then you came to me and told me that you were pregnant. Erin, I never in my life felt that my heart could be so full.” I wipe away the tear rolling down to my chin. “When you called me, and we had that scare, I swear to God I thought my life was ending. The whole way over, I begged God to take me and spare you and the baby.” I look at him and see the anguish in his eyes.

  “Your father asked me if I loved you just because you are having my baby.” I don’t want to hear the answer, but he gives it to me anyway. “The answer is no.” He walks closer to me. “I love you because you complete me. I love you because with you, I know everything is going to be okay. I love you because no matter what life throws at me, as long as I get to spend my days and nights with you, nothing could go wrong.” He walks to me, and my tears just run down my face. “I told him I don’t deserve you.” He wipes my tear away with his thumb. “I don’t deserve another chance, but I’m here begging you to give me one.”