Surrogate Lover

by Clara Reese

  Janet is a big help as well. She helps us carry the bags and offers the occasional advice as we pick things out. Charlotte and Janet carry almost everything. Even though I’m not even showing yet, she doesn’t let me lift a finger. Janet also keeps an eye on the shopping crowds and others in the store. It’s comforting to know that she’s there. It makes having fun that much easier.

  We also pick up decorations for the nursery. Besides clothes, this was the part I was most looking forward to. You don’t have to worry too much about what’s top of the line with decorations. You can pick it to suit your tastes. And Charlotte has the budget for a dream nursery. We decide on a lot of gender-neutral decorations, since we don’t know the baby’s gender yet. And, of course, everything comes in soft pastels, so it’s easy to match. I point out that we can’t go wrong with cute baby animals in soft colors. Now the baby’s room will have plenty of little chicks and bunnies in it.

  Next, we pick out the baby’s clothes. Perhaps it’s the pregnancy, but I could just cry over how cute the little socks are. Charlotte makes sure to pick up plenty because I reacted so much to them. I’m pretty sure Charlotte could throw away each pair of socks after one use and they would still never run out.

  We pick out plenty of onesies too. We all crack up laughing at some of the slogans and pictures on them. There’s seriously one for every occasion and relationship. Janet jokes that we should look for one that says “My Surrogate’s Bodyguard Loves Me.”

  We end up finding plenty of clothes, aside from Janet’s specific request. The store bags up our purchases, and Charlotte links her arm around mine.

  “Now we’re going shopping for you,” she tells me.

  I’m really surprised. “Me? But I don’t need anything. This is for the baby,” I tell her. “Really Charlotte, you don’t need to buy me anything.”

  “I know I don’t need to,” she says. “I want to. Now that you’re pregnant, you’re going to need some things. I want to help you out with this. Really. I’m not trying to buy you. I’m trying to show my appreciation for you doing this for me.”

  “I don’t know,” I say, hesitating. “We should focus on the baby.”

  “We are focusing on the baby,” she tells me. “Unless you want to walk around naked when your clothes don’t fit you anymore.”

  I blush when she says that. My mind drifts back to the doctor’s comments about being able to have sex before I pull myself back to reality.

  “I can buy my own clothes,” I tell her.

  “It’s a business expense, Katrina,” she tells me. “It’s like any other job. There are things you need to provide a service. Your job will provide those things for you.”

  I look at her. I can tell how much she wants this.

  “Okay,” I tell her. “Let’s go shopping.”

  I didn’t really expect shopping for me to be any different than shopping for the baby, but the whole process is still shocking. We go to a store for pregnant women and go straight to the clothing section. They have fake bellies you can put on so you can see how your clothes will fit as the baby grows. I try them on, and anything I so much as glance at, Charlotte picks up for me to try on. It’s fun trying on all sorts of different styles.

  Charlotte fusses over me during this whole process. Every time I try to look at the price tag she snatches it out of my hand. Eventually, I submit to her whims. I pick out what I like based on how much I like it and not the price.

  We wander through the store also looking at vitamins and things for your health and comfort during pregnancy as well. She picks out more things than we’ll ever use and promises to get me a nutritionist as well. I’ll be the healthiest surrogate of all time.

  I practically faint watching the total rack up as we check out. Charlotte rushes me off to go with Janet to the next store so I won’t see the final price.

  To my surprise, the next store is a jewelry store.

  “What are we doing here?” I ask Janet. “Is the baby getting a diamond pacifier on top of everything else?”

  “Not quite,” Charlotte says, walking in behind us with her arms full of shopping bags. “I want to get something for you, Katrina.”

  “Oh, Charlotte, really,” I begin. “This is honestly too much. You’ve already bought so many things for me.”

  “I know,” she says. “And this is something else that I really, really want to do for you. I know it’s not something you need, but I want you to have a token of my appreciation. What you’re doing, it means so much…”

  She trails off as emotion starts to overcome her. Emotions wash over me as well. This is such a sweet, kind gesture. I try to reason with myself. It’s really not about the money. Charlotte has enough money that, even with the baby, she’ll never have to worry about it ever again.

  “I understand,” I tell her with a smile. She smiles back.

  We go through the jewelry, and immediately dismiss all of the big, showy pieces. I don’t want this piece to be about how expensive it was or how big the diamond in it is. Charlotte and I both just want it to be meaningful.

  We end up picking a very tasteful necklace. It’s a simple silver chain with a silver and diamond pendant. It’s not the biggest or most impressive necklace that they have, but it’s perfect for me. Charlotte has me try it on, and, as I admire it in the mirror, I have to admit that it does look nice. It’s something I’ll treasure for a long time.

  The store clerk packs up the necklace for us and hands us yet another bag. I insist on carrying it, and, because it’s so small, Charlotte complies.

  We leave the store carrying our purchases. Charlotte calls us another car and we head back to her house.

  14

  Charlotte

  We get back carrying plenty of bags and boxes. I carry almost everything. I don’t want Katrina to lift a finger while she’s carrying Addison’s baby. Our baby.

  My baby.

  The thought still shakes me to my core. I have this small piece of her that I can hang on to, but she’s gone. I’ll never get her back. I can have this baby, though. I can continue living, even without her. I know it’s what she would want me to do. However, this joy feels incomplete without her. I don’t think I’ll ever stop missing her.

  But I can take care of this baby. I have the resources to do it. We can make memories together. It’s a shame that Addison will never be able to meet her child, though. A child will always miss their mother.

  I have to stay focused. Katrina talks me into letting her carry a few things. I give her small bags of clothes and light, soft things to appease her. I don’t know why, but it’s so hard to say ‘no’ to her. She can disarm me with a single look. I think it’s those big gray eyes of hers. They can be sharp, but she looks so sweet with them. Looking into them makes me want to protect her.

  We bring everything up to the room I want to use as the nursery and set it down. I’ve already cleared out the space in anticipation of the baby. I was so afraid it would never happen. It feels good to set everything down. I have a healthy baby. I can hardly believe it.

  We start to put things away. Katrina carefully folds onesies and little socks. I get the bigger items out of the way. Then we get to the bassinet.

  I can’t believe this thing. As I unpack it from the box, I realize that this will be a bigger challenge than I thought. I organize the pieces of the bassinet and look at the instructions. This should be easy, right? I’ve built things before. Addison and I built the dresser in our bedroom in an afternoon. But there’s so many pieces to this. I start to sweat thinking about the little life that will be contained in this bassinet. If a dresser falls apart, you can just buy another, but if I assemble this wrong, it could hurt the baby.

  As I look through the parts and instructions, I start to doubt that I even have all the pieces. Maybe it’s just anxiety, but I don’t know how these things can come together to make a bed for this baby.

  I see Katrina watching me from the corner of her eye as she folds. I try not to blush as I sta
rt to put it together. It doesn’t take me too long to realize I’m doing it incorrectly. I take it apart and start again.

  These instructions might as well be written in another language. I don’t understand what it wants me to do. I can’t figure out how I’m supposed to get from these pieces to a bassinet I can trust to hold my baby.

  Katrina puts down the onesie she’s folding and walks over to me.

  “Why don’t I help you? We can work as a team,” she says.

  “I can do it,” I say, frustrated.

  “I know you can,” she responds. “But it will be easier if we do it together.”

  I sigh. “Fine,” I say. “But you’re carrying precious cargo.” I hand her the instructions. “Try to make sense of these.”

  She frowns. “I can help with the assembly too.”

  “I know, but seriously, I don’t want you to lift a finger. I don’t understand those damn instructions. It would be a big help if you could just make sense of them for me.”

  She rolls her eyes a bit at my insistence. “All right,” she says.

  She takes the instructions and starts to read them to me. Even with her trying to figure them out, I still can’t make heads or tails of it. I feel like I’m forcing it together more than I should have to. When it’s half-finished, I stand back and take a look at it.

  I don’t know what it looks like, but it certainly doesn’t look like a bassinet.

  We take a look at it and then at each other. When our eyes meet, we burst out laughing at the absurdity of it all.

  It’s the type of laughing where your sides hurt but you can’t stop. Tears are running down our faces. Anyone looking in would think we were lunatics, but the hilarity makes sense to us. I haven’t laughed this hard since before Addison died. And, for a moment, it’s like she’s right there laughing along with us.

  When the laughter fades into giggles, we look at each other again. Suddenly the goofy aspects of the situation are replaced by lust and need. The silence weighs heavily between us. I know she feels it too.

  I want her so badly. I want to wrap my fingers in her hair and to feel her body. I want to see the face she makes as she orgasms. I want her underneath me. I need her underneath me.

  I move closer, but I hesitate. Is this wrong? Everything in my body tells me that I haven’t been this attracted to someone in a long time, but my head is telling me to pump the breaks.

  I don’t have to decide, however. She moves forward and kisses me.

  I kiss her back and pull her close to me. We kiss passionately and fervently. I haven’t wanted someone this badly since Addison. The worry in my mind quiets as we kiss. The only thought in my mind is that the bedroom is right next door.

  I break the kiss long enough to pick her up in my arms. She gasps in surprise and looks up at me with her big gray eyes. Those eyes can totally disarm me. Now, they’re filled with lust and desire. She puts her hand on my shoulders and kisses my neck as I carry her. I have to be extra careful to not drop her. The sensations she’s giving me make me weak in the knees. I consider just tearing her clothes off right here, but she deserves the softness of a bed.

  When I get her into the bedroom, I lay her down on the bed and continue kissing her. I note to myself what a good kisser she is. I didn’t expect for us to end up in this position, but I can’t say I’m regretting it now.

  I want her to feel so good she can’t think straight. I certainly want to give her a better time than that bastard ex-boyfriend of hers. She deserves to be filled with pleasure after all the bullshit he’s put her through.

  And, selfishly, I still really want to see the look on her face as she finishes.

  I start to take off her clothes. I start with her shirt and pants and move to her bra and panties next.

  When she’s naked on the bed, I look at her and run my hands over her body. She’s so gorgeous, but I also feel a surge of protectiveness. Her body is carrying my baby. I lean down and capture her mouth in a kiss.

  The doctor did say we could fuck.

  She starts pulling my shirt over my head. I help her along and get undressed. I notice her eyes take me in as I do. I give her a little smile.

  “Like what you see?” I whisper in her ear.

  She nods and her breath hitches in her throat. Fuck, that was hot.

  I kiss down to her breasts and start to pleasure her there, bringing forth moans from her. I knead her breasts in my hand and suck on her nipples, trying to elicit more of a reaction.

  When we were out shopping, I didn’t think I’d end up with her breasts in my mouth, but I suppose that’s the way the world turns.

  15

  Katrina

  When I accepted Charlotte’s offer to become her baby’s surrogate, I didn’t expect to end up in this position with her.

  It feels like everything happened so quickly. We were laughing and then we were kissing and now we’re naked in bed together. I feel so good. She feels so good against me. All of my worries and cares in the world fade away as she kisses me.

  I find so much comfort in her kisses and the way her body presses against mine. This whole situation has been strange and alien. This is the first thing I feel like I really understand. We’re two women who want each other so badly. I want to give as much to her as she gives to me.

  But I can’t get used to this. When the baby comes, I’ll have to go. I don’t belong here. The money is mine and I’m glad Charlotte and I get along, but we can’t keep doing this. I have to keep myself separated. I’m here to do a job. And my job is to give her this baby. I can’t get confused about that. My position here is temporary. My relationship with Charlotte is temporary too.

  I can let myself make the hormone excuse for now though, I’m sure. She’s so beautiful, and she really does know what she’s doing. I don’t think I’ve ever felt so good before. Maybe for a moment I can give in. This is clearly defined. There’s a lot of emotions and we’re both using each other to feel good. I want to give myself over to her. But it can’t be more than this.

  She kisses down my neck and to my breasts. She kneads them with her hands and sucks on them. I’ve experienced this before, but the softness of her lips and the flicking of her tongue is driving me wild. I wrap my hands in her hair as I arch my chest up towards her mouth.

  I start to move my hips around, wanting more. She puts her leg in between my legs. I start to ride it, getting myself off with the friction that comes with it. Her leg feels so good against my pussy. I want to ride her all night.

  She grabs my wrists and pins them up above my head. She lets out a gasp and lets go, moving away from me. The erotic sensations begin to fade, and I see that she’s a bit distressed. I sit up.

  “What’s wrong?” I ask. “What happened?”

  “I’m sorry,” she says, continuing to move away from me. “I don’t know what came over me. I shouldn’t have done that.”

  “What? Pinned me down?” I ask, cocking my head to the side.

  “Yeah…” She says. “That.”

  “That was okay,” I tell her. I reach out to hug around her waist. I start to kiss her neck. “I don’t mind being dominated.”

  She runs her hands up and down my back, starting to get into the mood again. I wonder if she feels the scars there.

  “Are you sure? I don’t want to hurt you,” she says.

  “You won’t hurt me,” I promise.

  She tilts my head up and kisses me. “Tell me if it gets too intense,” she says. I nod in response.

  She gently pushes me back onto the bed and begins to kiss me again. She takes my hands in hers. Our fingers intertwine. She brings both of my hands above my head. She kisses me and then pulls back a bit, examining the look on my face. I bring my head up and kiss her again, settling into her domination.

  She takes my permission and starts to go with it. Her hands leave the position resting against my palms and bind my wrists. She begins to kiss down my neck again, replacing some of her kisses with bites along the way. H
er leg moves back to its position between my legs.

  “Hump it,” she tells me.

  I comply quickly, grinding myself against her once again. I feel a jolt through my body when she orders me around. Such a simple command is so incredibly erotic.

  I increase the frequency of my movements and she begins to rub her leg back and forth against my pussy. I moan as I feel the pressure building up inside of me. I want to let loose so bad, but I don’t think this will cut it. It’s clear that she wants to toy with me a bit before giving me what I want.

  I start to wriggle a bit in her hold of me. I don’t want her to stop, but I want to toy with her a bit too. I want her to dominate me more. I give her a coy smile as I move my arms while in her grasp.

  She stops kissing my chest and looks up at me. I give her a demure smile to let her know what I’m up to. She gets an evil-looking grin on her face and squeezes my wrists a bit tighter. It’s not enough to hurt, but it’s enough that I notice the difference. She nips around my neck a few times and uses her knee to spread my legs further apart. She takes both of my wrists in one hand, still keeping me securely pinned, and begins to finger fuck me with her other hand.

  I can already tell I love putting her in charge of my body. This isn’t how Grady used to dominate me. I don’t feel degraded or empty while she’s doing it. I feel safe and whole. Her actions are forceful, but incredibly erotic. It’s amazing how much of a difference there is between the two of them even though they’re fulfilling the same role. Charlotte’s roughness and control is pleasurable. Grady’s left external and internal scars on me.

  Grady would have never asked if I was okay with what we were doing either. I know that I’m going to be out of her life once this baby gets here, but Charlotte clearly cares about my well-being. She wants to make this as good for me as it is for her. I’m not afraid of her. The anticipation of what she’s going to do next is so hot, but it’s like a roller coaster ride. You get the thrill of danger while being totally safe.