by Clara Reese
I stand in a shaft of light that he can’t enter, but it doesn’t keep me safe. He’s still hurting me with something, like a whip or chain. I remember when he flogged me with a chain. My shoulders tremble and I start to buckle at the knees.
I fall out of the circle of light and he pounces on me. I’m screaming and my arms and legs are flailing, desperate to get free. I can feel my hands and legs hitting something and I know I’m trapped. I’ll always be trapped.
Over it all, I can hear Charlotte’s voice. I focus on it and suddenly I realize I’m in bed. I blink hard, bringing the dark room into focus and I start to cry in relief.
Charlotte wraps her arms around me, soothing and rocking me. She strokes my hair and I snuggle against her chest, enjoying this moment for as long as I can.
My sobs don’t stop, even as they trail off. I can’t stop thinking about how safe I feel and how it is a temporary thing. Once Charlotte gets her baby, I have no use here. I’ve caused too much trouble for Charlotte already. I should get out of here before I can screw up her life more than I already have.
I sit up and look Charlotte in the eye, trying to control my crying.
“Charlotte. I know I have to go…I have to keep moving. But I don’t want to leave you! I –”
I see Charlotte’s face change, blanking out with fear then her eyes become frantic as she grabs my arms.
“Go? Go where? Katrina, you aren’t going anywhere!”
“Huh?” I’m really confused right now. It’s too early and pregnant women can’t have coffee.
“Katrina.” Charlotte hugs me tight, whispering in my ear. “I love you.”
“I love you too.” I’m trembling as my tears fall. “But I didn’t want you to get caught up in all of this. There will be more shit with Grady—”
“Katrina, I don’t care about any of that.” Charlotte sounds a bit impatient and I have to grin. She really is used to getting what she wants, and she doesn’t like it when people don’t obey her immediately. I kind of love it. She’s so powerful, but so gentle when she needs to be.
“Look, Katrina…” Charlotte’s eyes dart over to the dresser and she looks back at me. “I wasn’t going to do this now. I had a whole thing planned. Well, not quite planned but I had ideas…”
“What are you talking about, Charlotte?” I can’t help frowning at her. I have no idea what she’s talking about.
She sighs and turns to the dresser, pulling something out.
It’s a velvet box, and not a small one.
My eyes narrow until that box is the only thing in my existence. I know what it is. I’m sure I know. But this can’t be happening.
I look up at Charlotte and that’s when I notice the chain around her neck with Addy’s ring on it has gone. I’m startled, but I know this means Charlotte is ready to move on.
I’m sad for her. All I have to do is look into her face and I know how she’s suffered. Taking off Addison’s ring must have been very difficult for her. My eyes fill with tears again as I bring my hands up, placing them over Charlotte’s where they hold the box.
She smiles, flicking it open. The ring is incredibly beautiful, a color of diamond I’ve never seen. I just stare at it for a few seconds, absolutely shocked.
“Katrina Stone.” Charlotte says softly, “Will you marry me?”
I look at Charlotte, then back at the box. Back to Charlotte and back at the box again.
She doesn’t say a word, just waits patiently.
I can’t talk. I just nod, trying desperately to find my voice. Charlotte takes the ring out of the box and reverently puts it on my finger. I reach up and stroke her face, running my finger along the scar and the little nick in her eyebrow.
“I love you, Charlotte.” I lean forward and kiss her, feeling her arms go around me as the kiss gets deeper and deeper. We tangle in each other’s arms and fall back on the mattress.
I have doubts, though, and they crowd around me. They are impossible to ignore, and I feel like I can’t do this if I’m not going to be completely honest.
I turn on my side and look at Charlotte through the sheets. She smiles at me and rolls over to put an arm around me.
“Charlotte, are you sure you want to do this? I’m so poor, I’m bringing nothing to this relationship except pain. There’s going to be more shit with Grady and I’m no one, I—”
My voice grounds to a halt as I see the look on Charlotte’s face.
“I don’t ever want to hear you speak like that about yourself ever again!” Her scowl is fierce as she grabs my hands and squeezes them. “You are beautiful, smart and strong. I don’t give a fuck how much baggage you have. I love you. That means taking all of you, not just the nice parts. Don’t ever, ever put yourself down. I won’t stand for it.”
“Okay.” My voice is small. I love when she’s all dominant like this. There is no better feeling than having her tell me what to do.
“You make me happy, Katrina.” Charlotte strokes my face gently. “That’s all I need to know. You’ve changed my life. I don’t care about who you used to be. All I care about is our future.”
She pulls me into her arms, and I snuggle against her chest, putting my arms around her slender waist. I’ve never felt so safe.
For the first time in my life, I don’t feel scared of Grady. Even when he was in prison, I was scared of him. He lived in the dark corners of my mind, constantly telling me that I wasn’t good enough, wasn’t smart enough. That I couldn’t do any better than him, so I should thank God for him.
He told me no one else could love an emotional, reactive basketcase like me.
Now I know it isn’t true. I’m not impossible to love. All this time, I’ve held myself back, refused to trust anyone. I had good reasons, after being fucked over so many times, but, realistically, not all the people I’ve fallen out with were actually trying to hurt me.
I was just stuck on that never-ending loop. Grady’s voice, taunting. You aren’t good enough, Katrina.
What the fuck does he know.
I’ve earned the love of an amazing woman. She makes me feel safe. She values me for my strength. She makes me feel beautiful.
I wriggle around in the sheets, getting my lips up to meet Charlotte’s. When we kiss, it’s like falling into each other, the passion starting to burn as my hands begin to explore over Charlotte’s body.
When she runs her hands firmly down my arms and smiles, I know she’s thinking of tying me. I squirm in her arms, rubbing my body against hers to excite her further.
“Wicked slut.” Charlotte murmurs, kissing me. “My slut.”
I feel like my clit is on fire. Her words are soft, but with a deep resonance of ownership.
All I’ve ever wanted is to be with someone who can make me feel this safe. I lean in and kiss Charlotte again, joy rising in me.
I get to do this every day of my life. I get to kiss this beautiful woman and love her. I get to bask in her affection and my one purpose is to make her happy.
I run my finger down the side of her face, lingering on the scar. We both bear real scars from our past, things we will always carry. But that’s the great thing about scars and painful memories.
They fade.
34
Charlotte
We’re entangled, the sheets wrapped around us both and our bodies pressed together. The room is dark, the curtains still drawn, but the ring finds light and sparkles red from Katrina’s finger.
I run my hands over her body, feeling my fingers digging in to grip her arms as I move. She bends her back, pushing her breasts against me, and I feel fire pouring through me.
I kiss her again, and it’s as if we pass that fire between us. She lit that fire in me, she woke me up. Meanwhile, the fire was scorching her inside the entire time. If she hadn’t found something hard and cold to contain it then she would have burnt out like a star.
She feels loose in my hands and I push her back against the pillows. I love how she closes her eyes and smiles, willfully giving herself up
to me. Her submission is so touching and so intense because I know what she has suffered.
As she falls back, I grab her ankles, pulling her legs towards me. I push up her nightgown and lean over her, devouring her with my eyes.
Her beautiful pale skin is marked in so many places, not just across her back. I run my fingers over the scars, tracing them. I feel her trembling all over, with anticipation more than reminders of those scars.
I run my hands down her thighs and touch her clit with my lips. I lick it, very gently, letting my warm breath ease out so it runs across the slick trail left by my tongue. She cries out and the sound ignites my passion even further, making my own clit pulse.
I’m getting wet already and I can feel it soaking my panties. I lean down, grabbing Katrina’s thighs in my arms and dragging her closer to my mouth. She squirms and I press my lips against her pussy, my tongue diving inside.
Katrina shrieks at the ceiling, a sound so intense I feel like it shakes the windows. She twists under me and her hips buck up and down, but I don’t let go. I hold her as tight as I can and slowly draw my tongue along her deep slit, then the inner pink folds, and finally up to her clit.
She’s still shuddering under me, but I pay her no mind as I focus on her clit. I press it gently with my lips, running my tongue over it and sucking on it gently. I keep licking it slowly and pressing my lips over it in sequence. After a few passes, I feel her start to tremble right through the spine.
Just as she starts to grab at the bed sheets and howl, I run my tongue all the way down her juicy lips and dive inside. I can taste the waves of cum pouring out of her and as my lips and tongue delve into her looking for more, I feel Katrina thrashing like a fish on a line.
I keep licking her slowly and gently as the orgasm rocks through her. When she lays still and quiet, panting gently, I pull the nightgown off over her head.
She looks up at me with wide eyes and I slowly undo the buttons on my blouse, tugging it off. I stand up to pull off the pants and Katrina watches my every move.
I slide up against her, kissing her and letting her taste herself. She responds with enthusiasm but doesn’t initiate. She makes me so hot, just bending to me and submitting the way she does.
I reach into the bedside drawer and pull out a couple of silk scarves. I raise an eyebrow and Katrina nods enthusiastically, grinning.
My smile stretches across my face and I lean down, gripping her hands and pushing her against the bed while I kiss her. She writhes under me and her struggling only excites me more. I can hear her eager gasps and she’s shivering with need.
I sit up and pull one wrist against the post of the bed. I tie it tight with the silk scarf and lean over her to tie the other hand. She nips at my breasts a little as they swing over her face.
She tugs against the restraints and I see her eyes close in pleasure. I know all about the release of subspace and Katrina needs it, badly. She needs to regain control of her sexual response and she needs to feel safe. She won’t ever heal from Grady unless she can separate her torture from the pleasure.
Tears gather at the edges of my eyes as I look at this beautiful woman and think of what’s been done to her. Did that bastard know he could be destroying her sexual response for the rest of her life? I doubt it. Maiming her physically was probably his only concern.
I run my hands over her firmly. I let her shudder under my hands so I can feel her nipples getting tight and squeeze her breasts. I lean down and tease each nipple in turn and rub them against my fingers.
Katrina shivers and writhes, keeping her eyes closed. Every time she pulls against the scarves, I see a smile of joy play across her face. She’s comforted by the restraints, not frightened.
When I crawl between her legs and start teasing her by running a finger up and down her pussy, I feel a roaring sexual fire in me. I’m consumed with desire and all my worst violent urges come frothing up to the top of my mind.
I let them come and they fuel my desire. I look over my lover and I know I’ll never hurt her, but we share a special bond. She longs to submit, to feel safe, to be cared for. I like to feel powerful, in control, and let my innate dominance feed on fear and the promise of violence.
We are perfect for each other.
I lean forward and slowly push my finger into her. She’s still wet from the orgasms I just gave her, and I use my thumb to rub her clit while I put two fingers inside. She gasps and twists her hips from side to side. I lean down and suck on her clit while I pump her with two fingers.
She starts gasping and her body goes stiff, held straight from the ropes. I keep up my attentions, lapping at her clit while my fingers pleasure her and like a cresting wave, I feel her orgasm come to the edge, then simmer over.
Goosebumps pour across her skin as she screams at the ceiling. A massive smile breaks across my face and the joy surges inside me as I watch Katrina writhing and bucking, lying helpless, letting the sensations rage through her.
I rub her skin gently as the explosions recede, scratching her gently with my nails or massaging her on the thighs and calves. She makes sweet little murmurs as the pleasure rocks through her, not opening her eyes as she submits both to me and the pleasure itself.
I push her knees up suddenly and she cries out eagerly. I lean down and push her upwards so I can reach her asshole, rimming her with gentle, intense focus. She rocks back and forth, struggling against the scarves as she moans eagerly. I grip her thighs hard and chase her up the bed, going after her like a fox hunts a rabbit.
I clamp my lips down on her pussy and wrestle her knees down, invading with my tongue and teasing with my lips to make her come again. She seems to come even harder this time, her cries coming out in short, sharp bursts.
Still, she keeps her eyes closed. I know that she has a long way to go before she feels comfortable and I don’t blame her. As much as I would like to look into her eyes, I know that time will come.
I run my hands up her body, sliding on the sweat of her belly, cupping her breasts and then wrapping around her neck. I lay on top of her, sweaty hot bodies pressed together.
“Mine.” I whisper, holding her down with every single cell of my body. “Mine.”
She reaches up and licks my earlobe. The whisper that strokes my ear right after almost makes me explode.
“I love you, Charlotte.”
35
Katrina
The scarves dig into my wrists and the more I pull against them, the better it feels. It’s like a sweet release right through my body, into my soul.
Trapped. Held in place. No escape.
And safe.
The feeling is so intense it seems to set me on fire. Tears are leaking out through my closed lids because my emotions are running just as hot as my body is.
I keep my eyes closed because it’s the only safe place there is. It’s only habit now, because Grady hated it if I looked at him while he was…busy. Said that it made it difficult to do what he wanted.
I can tell that Charlotte would be happy for me to watch but I’m not ready yet. I keep my eyes closed to enhance the sensations of her tongue and her hands.
She lays on top of me and I can feel her breasts rubbing against mine. When I whisper to her that I love her, I’m so overcome by sexual pleasure and emotion that I can hardly breathe.
When she hears my words she groans, attacking me with her teeth, hands and lips. She kisses and sucks down my neck, nibbling on the dip between my shoulder and throat. The sharp jabs of her teeth feel like strokes to my clit and I struggle even harder against my restraints.
Charlotte kisses and licks over every inch of me, spoiling my nipples and breasts and returning to my clit over and over again. She waits for my orgasms to peak then presses herself against me, kissing me and rubbing my pussy with firm strokes from her fingers.
For a few seconds the pleasure is so intense I can’t follow what’s happening. I can feel my breaths coming slowly and my body rising and falling gently. I open my eyes and l
ook, and Charlotte is sitting between my legs, smiling.
“You’re so beautiful, Katrina.” I love how her eyes eat me up, devouring me. She’s hungry and powerful and I’m completely at her mercy. I always will be.
“I want to pleasure you.” The whisper rises from my lips and I grin bashfully, thinking I must be a very naughty sub to suggest such a thing to my mistress.
Charlotte leans forward and straddles me, pressing her lips to mine for a kiss. She lets it go slow, lingering and deep. I tease with my tongue and lay back on the pillow while she explores my mouth with hers and rubs at my breasts.
She pulls back with a smile and crawls forward some more. I see what she’s doing, and my breath starts to come faster with excitement.
Charlotte sits on my chest and puts her legs either side of my face. When she swings herself towards me my mouth is open and waiting.
She grabs the bed head behind me and braces against it as she pushes her hips towards me. My moan of pleasure is muffled by her pussy as she grinds against my mouth. I extend my tongue eagerly, trying to lick and suck her. She wriggles above me, pushing her hips towards me and then moving away.
When she pulls away from me, I keep reaching with my tongue and lips, begging her to come back. I yank against the silk scarves and moan in even greater ecstasy as I find absolution in submission.
Charlotte leans forward with a stern look on her face, guiding her pussy back to my face. I reach up eagerly with my lips and tongue and feel her putting pressure on me. Her clit slides against my tongue and I can feel her grinding down, using her hold on the back of the bed to push towards me.
I use my lips and tongue to pleasure her as hard as I can. When I hear her start to moan, I step up my efforts, sucking at her clit and lashing my tongue against her. She pushes against me, making rocking motions with her hips to press her clit against my lips.
When I feel her go completely still above me, I turn my attention to her clit and stroke it with my tongue, caressing it with my lips as I suck on it. She moans, long and low, then starts to yell. She grinds her hips forward and pushes me back into the pillows. I would moan with joy myself if I had any way to do so.