by Misty Evans
With a hollow feeling in his stomach, he rubbed his eyes. “You’re right,” he said to his parents. “3 Wishes is my home. I need to get back on track.”
His mother flinched at his choice of word but nodded her head in approval.
Picking up his pen, he ignored the sickening feeling of selling out. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have work to do.”
His mother rose. From his peripheral vision, he saw her smile at this dad and Grant. “Good. We’ll see you in the morning at the Monday meeting,” she said. “We have next weekend’s team building exercise to coordinate for the staff and volunteers.”
Team building. He hoped someone else was going to lead that, because right now, he’d never felt more alone.
An hour later, his phone came to life, buzzing on the desk under some papers. Caller ID read Sex Kitten.
Van.
He ran a thumb over the edge of the phone as it vibrated against his skin. Six hours had passed since she’d kicked him out. Funny how six hours could feel like a lifetime.
He hit the ignore button and went back to work.
Chapter Sixteen
“Becca, I blew it. You don’t have to pretend that I didn’t.” Van paced her office while rearranging notecards for her presentation.
On speakerphone, Becca’s voice filled Van’s office. “I’m sure it’s not that bad. You just need to talk to him and you’ll work it all out.”
“Easier said than done, considering he’s not speaking to me at the moment. I’ve called. He won’t answer. Same goes for the texts, even the racy ones. Full radio silence.”
“Well, then he’s just being an ass.”
Van popped a Snickers in her mouth as she untacked a pin and retacked it somewhere else. Why was she trying so hard? This was what she’d expected to happen. She wasn’t surprised.
She should be in the business of getting over it instead of running around trying to get him to talk to her. “It’s been two days.” She sat on the corner of her desk in an irritated slump. “I was a little rough on him, but he’s not even giving me the chance to explain.”
“You know guys. Remember when Liam and I had that blow up about Holden? I literally stalked him for days until I got him to talk to me. Of course, his mom was in the hospital and all, but he was ignoring me. That’s what they do. But the Van I know does not give up—like ever. Or have you body snatched my bestie?”
“Oh, I’ve definitely been body snatched, because instead of focusing on my presentation, I’m obsessing over Alex. I just can’t believe that at the first sign of trouble, he’s done.”
“You know what? I know you said I couldn’t threaten his balls, but I swear to God, I knew he was gonna do this. Hell, Liam even warned him and he still did this. We should just kill him.”
Liam? “Becs, what did your idiot husband do?”
Her friend hesitated. “Uh, okay, this was totally before you guys were an official thing, but they had a little tete-a-tete when we went to pizza and he told Alex to stay away if he was gonna pull a one-and-done.”
Van groaned. “I swear to God, I love you guys, but you can’t do that. I need to handle my own relationships.”
“I know. We just worry about you, because left to your own devices, you’ll be too secluded.”
“Becca!” That stung. Even her best friend thought she’d die alone.
“I speak truth. Now can we get back to the problem at hand? What are you gonna do about Alex-I’m-currently-acting-like-an-A-hole-McIntyre?”
“For starters, I’m taking a page out of your book and I’m not giving up. If he wants to be done, he’s gonna have to grow a pair and tell me that to my face. Secondly, I’m going to track him down to somewhere he can’t run away. When you have a target, you don’t let them out of your site.”
“You’re gonna grab him at home?”
“As far as I can tell, he hasn’t been home in two days.”
“Oh, you’re diabolical. You’re gonna get him at work.”
“You betcha. His home away from home. I’m taking the mountain to Muhammad. On his turf. I’ll show him I can take it. He kept telling me I shouldn’t run, well, I’m not running now. We’ll see how he likes it.”
“That’s my girl. Don’t forget to make him squirm a little. No call, no text is not acceptable.”
“Noted.”
“Just one thing?”
“Yeah?” she asked around another bite, the sweet chocolate and nougat giving her the hit of energy she needed.
“What are you going to say about your dad exactly?”
Just that he pretty much still thought he controlled her life. Which is why he’d turned up unannounced and thought he could admonish her.
She’d fought back. Ugliness ensued. He’d stayed for another two hours after Alex had left, berating her for her choices. He’d even insisted she move back home to L.A. and live closer to them so he could keep an eye on her, like a recalcitrant child.
The irony of it all was that he thought he was in the right. It was her fault, her whole life, she’d been the good daughter, never stepping out of line. Because he was first generation he was pretty obsessed with making her life far better than he had experienced growing up. And it was better in a lot of respects, but she’d given up a lot to be the good daughter.
Like Alex. On that issue, they were the same.
She’d been the girl whose parents gave her extra homework. She’d never had or went to sleepovers. When her other friends were going to concerts and being young, she was working hard and doing things like Junior Achievement. She supposed it had paid off. She had a great job and was close to a promotion. She’d bought her own place, had no debt.
But god, she’d never had any fun.
Her mom was more flexible than her father so when he traveled or was deployed, the rules were looser, but not too giving. This past weekend with Alex, she’d felt free and she didn’t want to give that up. She wasn’t ready yet. “Dad was just being Dad. Tiger parents don’t have anything on him.”
“How did you guys leave it?”
“Oh, you know, what’s a little disappointment between parents and kids? Let’s just thank God that Alex and I hadn’t already gotten started on the front porch.”
Becca was silent for a beat. Then another. “Oh. Uh…” her voice trailed off, making Van laugh.
“Sorry for the TMI.”
“Nah, it’s cool. It’s great to actually see you with someone. Provided he knows how to treat you right.”
“He did until Dad showed up and had to man the battlements. Obviously, Alex doesn’t take rejection well. Tough. I’m going to take care of that right now.”
Once she sent her presentation to the tech guys and it was off to her manager, she did something she hadn’t done since starting work at DIVE. She took the afternoon off.
First step was Uncle Biff’s Cookies in Hillcrest. Alex couldn’t get enough of those.
Next, she drove to 3 Wishes. Before she’d met Alex, she’d driven by the office building all the time and never given thought to the work they did inside. The building had a startup look with an exposed brick face and brightly colored lettering. It looked cheery.
Before she walked into the building, she had a slight pang of anxiousness. What if he didn’t want to see her? This was the kind of grand gesture shit that worked in movies, but what if it backfired in real life? She wished she had more experience with this type of thing.
What if he told her to get out? Well, than that’s his loss. Just treat it like any other goal. Eyes on the prize. Shoulders back. Head up.
She made it inside three feet before Jenna mowed her over. “Van! I’m so glad you came to visit. Maybe you can drag Alex out of the funk he’s been in. I don’t even think he’s gone home. But shoot, you’d know better than I would.”
He’d been working? Well, didn’t she just feel stupid. How exactly did one play it cool in this situation? “Um, yeah, I thought I’d bring him some cookies to pick up his spirit.” A
nd get his ass to talk to me.
“I love you, and I’m not even the McIntyre you’re dating.”
If she was still dating at all. “Yeah well, I hope he likes them.”
“Don’t let the Iron Man bod fool you. He’s a sweet junkie. But I’m sure you already know that.”
She heard his voice down the hall and her heart hammered. Damn she’d missed him.
“Ryan, this has to be perfect. We don’t get another chance to get it right for these kids. You have to give me your best.”
The authoritative way he spoke sent a shiver down her spine. How was it possible he was even sexier in this capacity than usual?
Ryan scurried away and Alex glanced down the hall. Van saw what Jenna meant. His clothes were rumpled and dark stubble dusted his chin and jaw. His eyes were puffy like he hadn’t had a good night’s sleep in a while.
His smile was fleeting when he saw her. One of those half-smiles that didn’t reach his eyes and was reserved for people he didn’t know well.
Next to her, Jenna shifted on her feet. “I’ll just leave you two crazy kids alone.” She made a speedy exit, but not before grabbing a cookie for the road.
Van walked to Alex slowly, unsure if she should smile or not. She’d never had to do this before. “Hi.”
He might still be mad, but his gaze roved over her body like a starving man, heating her flesh. “Hi, yourself.” He motioned with his head for her to follow him down the hall to his office at the end. “I didn’t know you were coming.”
She shrugged, following him to his desk where she set the box of cookies. “Maybe you should have responded to my calls and texts.”
They stood staring at each other across the desk for several moments. She hated the dead look in his eyes. “I was worried about you. At least Becca said Liam had spoken to you so I knew you hadn’t been carted off by wild dogs.”
He glanced at the box and his lips tipped up in a wry smile. “I’ve never had a girl bring me cookies to break up with me before. I appreciate the gesture, but if you could just get on with it.”
She blinked at him. “What the hell are you talking about?”
He squared his shoulders and Van tried to focus on what his mouth was saying and not what the stance did for his chest muscles. “I know you’re embarrassed by me. It’s why you didn’t tell Becca about what happened in New Jersey, and it’s why you told your dad I was nothing but your neighbor and kicked me out. I’ve never met a single other friend of yours. I know we just started dating, but usually there is some kind of outing to say ‘hey, this is the guy I’m with.’ Like at the track with your sigh, only there, no one knew who you were. You promised, you know. To treat me like a real boyfriend, not your 2 a.m. fuck buddy.”
She could not be hearing this right. “Alex—”
“I know I’m not super rich like Liam and I’m not some MBA superstar like you are or a major like your father, but—”
“Stop right there.” She put up a hand. “I was embarrassed about him, not you.”
His forehead creased. “What?”
She exhaled. “Alex…yes, I was mortified that my father caught us, er, in the heat of the moment, but I don’t care. I’m a grown adult living in my own place, doing my own thing. He doesn’t have a say in that. I just didn’t want you to meet him under those circumstances. The truth is, he’s not very nice. What you saw the other day was nothing. My mother, God bless her, can usually temper him, but she wasn’t there. The only way I introduce people to him is with lots of advance warning to be nice, and my mother there to remind him to be on his best behavior. I control the situation, like out at dinner where I know he won’t act up and I can leave if necessary. Never at my house where he thinks he can stay and settle in.” She ducked her head. “I didn’t want you to see me like that. Weak.”
He shook his head and the gnawing pit in her belly only grew stronger. He wasn’t hugging her, not letting his hands skim over her. Nothing.
He hung his head forward. “Van, this isn’t working.”
Too numb and too shocked to move, she swayed, trying to turn over her internal engines over and over again. “W-what isn’t working?”
His gaze traveled her body like he was trying to remember every line. “You were right. This was a mistake from the beginning. We’re too different. Your dad will never accept me, and neither will you.”
“Stop it. I know you’re pissed, but I wasn’t trying to hurt you, Alex, I just needed you out so I could deal with the Major.”
“That’s not how it’s supposed to work, Van. You’re supposed to let me shoulder half the burden. You’ve had one foot out of the relationship before there even was one. You’ve been trying to hold yourself back and I’m telling you, you’re right. Wanting something to be real doesn’t make it so. I, of all people, know that now.”
She tried for pulls of air, but her lungs constricted. “You’re breaking up with me?”
“You broke up with me. I’m not ambitious enough for you. Not aggressive enough. I’m the Boy Scout, remember? I’m not the kind guy your dad would like to see you with, if that guy actually exists. Like you just said, he controls you. You won’t make a move without his okay, will you?”
“Are you kidding me right now?” She knew the reason for his words—he was hurt—but this was hitting below the belt. “You’re one to talk. You’re so terrified of succeeding at your dream you won’t even go for it. You’d rather play the good son even though it’s killing you.”
“I have a lot of responsibilities. With 3 Wishes and with my family. Being a good son isn’t the worst thing in the world. You should know what I’m talking about.”
“I do, and I don’t blame you for wanting to make your family happy, but you were outstanding last weekend. Are you willing to throw all that away for their approval?”
“Are you willing to ditch your career and fess up to your dad that you hate public speaking?”
Another low blow. She needed to get this back on track. “If you’re going to pull an Alex and run from a relationship, at least have the courage to be truthful with yourself. You’re the only one holding yourself back, and it’s a damn shame. You were alive in Vegas. Don’t be all things to all people. Be you for you.”
She had to get out of there before she burst into tears in front of him. She turned on her heel and strode out confidently even though she felt anything but. It wasn’t until she climbed into her car that she curled up into a ball and let the first tears splash down her cheeks.
Chapter Seventeen
For several days, Van walked around in a complete daze. After she left Alex’s office, she’d called Becca who’d come over immediately. Van had been shell-shocked. She was in no need of wine or ice-cream because she couldn’t feel a damn thing. No sadness, no anger, just emptiness.
Not like her father hadn’t warned her about this. She hated it when he was right. This was what happened when she got too close to someone. She should have been focusing on her job this past month, not on Alex. She had a promotion to get.
No matter how she felt—like shit—she had to give her presentation. So there really was no other option but to put on her big girl panties and get on with it.
By the time she had the projector set up in the conference room and her notecards in hand, she didn’t even stop to realize that she hadn’t done her usual ritual. Truth was, she was too numb to be scared. No adrenaline spike, no nerves, no excitement, no panic.
No Alex, no nothing.
Maybe this was the best thing he could have done for her, because now she simply didn’t give a shit and that was better than standing up there sweating.
As per usual, everyone showed up to her meeting on time, running in before she could close the conference room door. As she surveyed their faces, one thought permeated her numbed out brain. I’d rather be under a blanket watching How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days.
Or at the speedway with Alex.
She’d felt alive there with him. Alive with him, pe
riod. If only she could turn back time.
Stop it. She had a job to do and she would do it. Besides it wasn’t like she loved him.
Standing in front of her colleagues, she took a deep breath and began. For the next hour, she walked the team through her highest priority projects and their projections. Ideas for the next campaign, as well as status and their teams. The highest performers and the struggling projects her recommendations to improve output or cut the stragglers.
When she reached the final card, she waited for the usual feeling of relief, but still nothing came.
She answered all questions and prayed she looked like she was holding it together. Inside, all she wanted to do was crawl under a rock.
“Excellent presentation as always, Vanessa.” Her boss said with a smile. “Can I borrow you for a brief moment?”
“Sure.” She hoped her smile conveyed cheery. It felt brittle.
She followed him into his office and took her seat across from him. “What’s up?”
He sighed heavily. Never a good sign. “It’s about the promotion.”
Her stomach plummeted. “Did I screw up the presentation?”
“The presentation was fine.”
“I thought I was prepared. I was a little distracted maybe, but my work should speak for itself. I’ve given this company three great years and—”
He held up his hand. “Vanessa, your work is exemplary. It always has been. That’s not what this is about. It’s not your time. You’re very young, and as you know Michael Kent has been angling for this position for a while. He’s more seasoned.”
He’s also was a complete moron. Van licked her lips and locked her jaw together before she could say anything stupid. She was not going to pitch a temper tantrum. She had a career to think about and that wasn’t really her style. What would the Major do? “I understand, but I can show you projections for the next six months that show—”
“That won’t be necessary. You’re an asset to the team and we’d hate to lose you. We’ve been exploring some options of making you Junior Director so you can learn under Michael. Budgetary reasons would have this being a few months out of course.”