Not the Marrying Kind

by Jae

  Sasha stared at Ash. Her jaw moved up and down, but it took several seconds until any words came out. “You…Holly…you were…together? You…you’re gay?”

  Now it was Ash’s turn to stare. She pressed her trembling hand to her stomach. Nausea gripped her. “Oh my God. You mean, you didn’t know?”

  Sasha slapped the steering wheel with both hands. “No! I had no fucking idea!”

  They sank against the backs of their seats. “Holy shit,” they said in unison.

  Chapter 3

  Sasha couldn’t believe it. Ashley Gaines, Fair Oaks’s darling and the wet dream of every boy in Sasha’s high school class, was a lesbian or bi. And not just that. She and Holly had been a couple.

  Hell on a stick! No one had told her a thing. She stared over at Ashley and tried to make out her features in the glow of a streetlamp next to the car.

  But Ashley had put her elbows on her knees and buried her face in both hands, groaning quietly.

  A loud honk from behind made them jump.

  Sasha glanced in the rearview mirror.

  Brandon Eads, former star quarterback and Ashley’s ex-boyfriend, had stopped his car behind them and gestured at the traffic light, which had long since turned green.

  Sasha felt as if she were trapped in some bizarre soap opera. She hit the gas a little too hard and sped across the intersection.

  Before she could sort her chaotic thoughts enough to ask a question, they reached Ashley’s cute, little house at the edge of town.

  “Please don’t tell anyone,” Ashley said, her eyes wide and pleading as if her very life was now in Sasha’s hands.

  “I won’t, but—”

  “Thank you.” Ashley released her seat belt and opened the passenger-side door. “And thanks for the ride.”

  “Wait!” Sasha grasped her arm and stopped her from exiting the car. “You can’t drop a bomb like that on me and then just leave.”

  Ashley longingly looked toward the escape that was her front door before slowly turning to face Sasha. Even in the dim light, it was easy to see that her cheeks had taken on the color of raspberry filling. Panic flickered in her eyes. Her gaze darted down to Sasha’s hand on her arm.

  Quickly, Sasha let go and made a conscious effort to gentle her tone, not wanting to come across like a bully. “So Holly and you…?” She still couldn’t believe it.

  Ashley closed the passenger-side door before nodding.

  “Jesus.”

  Ashley peered at her out of the corner of her eye. “You really didn’t know?”

  “How the hell was I supposed to know?”

  “I…I thought…” Ashley hunched her shoulders. “I thought Holly might have told you. I mean, you’re her best friend.”

  “That’s what I thought,” Sasha mumbled. Holly not trusting her cut deep. They had been through so much together—the death of Holly’s father, Sasha’s father getting remarried, and Holly quitting her job at the hospital to work in home health care. Why hadn’t Holly told her?

  “I assumed you knew,” Ashley said. “I thought that was why you…”

  Sasha threw her a gloomy look. “Why I what?”

  “Oh, nothing, just… Nothing.” Ashley shivered.

  Now that Sasha had shut off the engine, it was getting cold inside the SUV.

  “Can I come in to talk for a minute?” Sasha asked. “It’s getting cold out here, and to be honest, I could really use a drink.”

  Ashley glanced up and down the street and finally nodded, as if not wanting her neighbors to see her sitting in the dark car with another woman. She got out and led the way to the front door.

  Sasha followed and tried not to crowd her as Ashley fumbled with the key, trying to get the door open without any success. Her fingers trembled so much that her key chain jingled, and Sasha had a feeling that it wasn’t just the cold affecting her. “Here, let me.” She reached around her and took the bunch of keys from her hand.

  Their fingers brushed, and Ashley pulled away as if burned.

  God, she was a mess. For the first time, Sasha understood that the appearance of perfection that Ashley exuded was just that—merely an appearance, a carefully created illusion.

  Sasha unlocked the door and handed the keys back, this time careful not to let their fingers touch.

  Casper was waiting by the door. He barked once, tail wagging, and tried to jump up to greet Ashley with doggie kisses.

  Ashley bent down to pet him. She buried her face in his fur for a moment but then quickly straightened as if realizing that Sasha was watching. “Come on in.” She walked farther into the house.

  After giving Sasha a quick sniff, the dog followed.

  The hall opened up into a living room that wasn’t even half the size of Leo and Holly’s. It was clean and tidy and would have looked a bit like the set of a theater production if not for little, personal touches—a small bouquet of some orange flowers on the coffee table, a thoroughly chewed squeaky toy and a tennis ball on the floor, and a paperback with a bookmark sticking out.

  “What can I get you?” Ashley asked. Now that she could take refuge in the role of hostess, she sounded less shaky.

  “Whatever you’re having.”

  “Except for when we’re meeting the gang at Johnny’s, I rarely drink. But I have a bottle of wine somewhere, if you want.”

  Sasha sighed. “Forget the drink. Most of all, I was hoping for some more information. You really threw me for a loop here.”

  Ash sank into a recliner, looking like a cornered animal. She waved at Sasha to take a seat.

  Sasha sat on the couch. She waited for Ashley to start talking, but she just sat there, looking anywhere but at her. Sasha put her forearms on her thighs and leaned forward. “So are you bi, or what the heck is going on?”

  “No,” Ashley said so quietly that Sasha had to strain to hear her. “I…I’m a lesbian.”

  Sasha arched a brow at her. It sure hadn’t looked like it when she had been making out with Brandon on the bleachers. Oh, come on. Don’t be mean. So what if it took her a little longer to figure out her sexual orientation? She forced herself to lean back. “How long have you known?”

  Ashley still wasn’t looking at her. She pulled her legs up and clutched her knees to her chest. “Since I was eighteen.”

  “Eighteen?” Sasha echoed.

  Ashley shrugged. She painted patterns on the fabric of her jeans with her fingernails. “I started to figure it out when Leo…”

  “When Leo what?”

  “Forget it.”

  “When Leo came out?” Sasha ventured a guess.

  “I said forget it, okay?”

  So Ms. Nice had some bite in her after all. Sasha could respect that, even though not getting the answers she wanted was frustrating. “And you and Holly? When did that happen?”

  “We started to spend more time together after she got back from nursing school.”

  “Spend time together,” Sasha repeated to give her brain some time to catch up. “But how did you become an item? You’re so closeted, and Holly isn’t exactly known for chasing after women.”

  A deep blush tinted Ashley’s cheeks. “Remember the party I had when I opened the flower shop?”

  Sasha stared, openmouthed. That had been seven years ago! She nodded and waited for Ashley to continue.

  “Um, I got a little tipsy, and when Holly drove me home, I complimented her eyes in a way a straight friend probably wouldn’t. That’s when she found out about…um, me.”

  Was that why Ashley rarely drank anymore and never more than a beer? Had she gotten even more careful over the years?

  “From there, it just…happened, bit by bit.” Ashley sighed. “I guess we both needed someone to cling to back then.”

  Sasha still couldn’t believe it. “How long were you together?”

>   “Not long,” Ashley said.

  Sasha continued to look at her.

  “Three months, two weeks, and a day.”

  Not a long time, but still it was three months, two weeks, and a day that Holly had been with Ashley without telling anyone. Or had she told other people, just not her? “So no one knew?”

  Ashley vehemently shook her head. “No. No one. Well, Travis guessed, but…”

  “Oh, yeah. That. I heard him tell the boys about your car being parked in front of Holly’s all night and what he thought it meant, but I always put it down to his overactive imagination. Guess you weren’t just binge-watching The Walking Dead or whatever TV show was popular back then after all.”

  Ashley didn’t answer. She kneaded her folded hands so strongly that Sasha almost expected her to break a knuckle any second. “Sasha, I… Please…” She lifted her head and finally managed to look Sasha in the eyes. “Please, don’t tell anyone.”

  For the first time, Sasha realized that Ashley’s eyes were the exact color of the nougat cream Sasha used to fill her famous hazelnut cake. “It’s not my story to tell, but is this really how you want to live the rest of your life—always lying and hiding a big part of yourself?”

  “Want?” Ashley shook her head. “I don’t want that, but I don’t have much of a choice in this town. I have a business to think of.”

  “So do I,” Sasha said.

  “Yeah, but you’re not gay.”

  “Well, strictly speaking, I—”

  The doorbell rang.

  Casper jumped up from his spot in front of the recliner and raced into the hall, barking loudly.

  Ashley unfolded her arms from around her knees and stood up quickly, as if she was glad to escape further questions. She hurried toward the door, but after just a couple of steps, she paused and looked back. “Please promise me you won’t say anything to anyone.”

  “Jeez, Ashley! I already said I wouldn’t tell anyone. Do you think that badly of me? Do you really believe I’d just out you against your will?”

  Ashley studied the floor at her feet. “No, I just…”

  “I promise, okay?”

  “Thank you.” Ashley ran her hands over her arms and sides as if trying to wipe away all traces of their conversation before she went to open the door.

  “Hey, honey,” a deep, male voice came from the hall.

  Was that Ashley’s father? After what Sasha knew now, it sure wasn’t a new boyfriend.

  “I brought your car back,” he said. “All fixed. It was just the water pump, like I suspected. I replaced the belt too, just in case.”

  “Thank you, Daddy. How much do I owe you for the parts?”

  “Nothing.”

  “Dad…”

  “Nothing,” he repeated. “Just bring some flowers for your mother when you come for dinner on Sunday, and we’ll be even. You are coming for dinner, aren’t you?”

  Ashley sighed. “I’m coming.”

  “How did you get home from that consultation you had?” her father asked. “You didn’t walk, did you?”

  “Um, no.” Ashley paused. “Sasha gave me a ride.”

  Sasha took that as her cue to announce her presence. One of them constantly hiding was enough. “Hi, Mr. Gaines.”

  “Oh, I didn’t know you had a visitor, honey.” A few seconds later, Tom Gaines filled the doorway. At six foot four, he was one of the few people in town who could make Sasha feel small. “Hey, Sasha. How’s the bread-and-muffin business going?”

  Sasha chuckled. “Can’t complain. But I’d better be on my way. A baker’s day starts early.” She pointed toward the driveway. “If you dropped Ashley’s car off, do you need a ride home?”

  Ashley pushed past her father into the room. “That’s not necessary. I can drive him home.”

  Sasha studied her. Was she afraid that Sasha would let something slip if she was in the car alone with her father, even though she had promised not to say anything? Knowing Ashley, her family had no clue about her sexual orientation either. Or did she just not want to be indebted to Sasha, even in this small way? “It wouldn’t be a bother. But if you’re sure…”

  “I’m sure.” Ashley took the car key from her father.

  Clearly, that was Sasha’s cue to leave. She followed them to the door. “Guess I’ll see you tomorrow at Johnny’s, then.”

  “Um, I don’t think I can make it. There’s a lot to do at the flower shop.”

  Her father huffed. “You close at noon on Saturdays, and everything else can wait until Monday. Go meet your friends.”

  “But I have to send out some invoices and pick up the vases from—”

  “Go.” Her father’s bass echoed through the night. “You don’t want to worry your mother and me by working too much, do you?”

  Sasha shifted her weight and glanced toward her car. God, this is awkward.

  Ashley sighed. “Guess I’m going.”

  So Sasha would see her tomorrow after all—her and Holly. She really didn’t know how to deal with either of them after what she had found out tonight.

  Chapter 4

  This time, it wasn’t car troubles that made Ash late. She had debated staying home and pretending to be sick, but she knew her parents would find out sooner or later, and the last thing she wanted was to make them worry about her.

  Sometimes, being a considerate daughter sucked.

  She felt as if her legs were weighed down by lead as she crossed the street toward Fair Oaks’s only bar, where her friends met every Saturday evening—if you could even really call them that.

  They might know what kind of appetizer she ordered most Saturdays, what her favorite flower was, and how she’d been as a girl in high school, but there was a lot about her that they didn’t know…and Ash preferred to keep it that way. Especially after Travis had almost outed her, she preferred to play her cards close to her chest.

  When she entered Johnny’s, the gang was already seated at the usual corner booth in the back of the room. She spied Sasha immediately; her tall frame was impossible to miss. Ash swallowed hard. She had hoped that Sasha couldn’t make it to the bar after all.

  But, of course, she was here, just as she had said she would be. As far as Ash could tell, Sasha was a woman of her word. She only hoped that was true for her promise not to tell anyone about her secret too.

  “Hey, Ash!” Jenny waved. “There you are. I thought we’d have to go over and drag your ass away from work.”

  Ashley just smiled and said nothing, content to let them believe it had been work that had made her late. She squeezed in at one end of the horseshoe-shaped booth. Zack’s wife, Lisa, had joined them today, so it was a tight fit at the table. Once again, Ash found herself pressed against Sasha’s side. The warmth emanating from her engulfed Ash like an electric blanket, and the scent of cinnamon teased her nose.

  “Hi,” Sasha said, her voice low and much too intimate for Ash’s liking. “I take it your dad made it home okay last night?”

  Ash squirmed. The question seemed to be aiming at so much more than just her father, and she worried about what the others might be thinking. “Um, yeah. He got home safe and sound. Thanks.”

  “What does everyone want to drink?” Leo asked. “Holly and I are paying. We have something to celebrate.”

  “I never say no to free beer.” Travis waved the waitress over, and they ordered drinks as well as chips and salsa for everyone to share.

  “So, what are we celebrating?” Chris asked. “Another album that went platinum?”

  “Better.” Leo exchanged a loving look with Holly. “We wanted to tell you last week, but Ash and Chris couldn’t make it, so we decided to wait.”

  “They’re here now, so tell us. What’s the big news?” Travis grinned. “One of you is pregnant?”

  Jenny swatted her husband, and Sa
sha threw her coaster at him. It bounced off his forehead, skidded across the table, and slid to a stop in front of Ash.

  She picked it up and handed it back to Sasha, careful not to let their fingers brush.

  Travis rubbed his forehead and glared at them. “Hey, I’m just repeating what I was told. Marv said Izzy told him Jess overheard it in the bakery last week. According to Jess, Holly and Leo came in to ask Sasha if she’d do the cake for the baby shower or something.”

  Oh Jesus. Ash shook her head. What a game of telephone, Fair Oaks-style, with everyone adding to the rumor until the initial story was completely distorted!

  “You should know by now that you can’t believe everything people say, honey,” Jenny said.

  “Well, they aren’t completely wrong,” Leo said. “We did go to the bakery to ask Sasha if she would—”

  Jenny let out a cheer and pressed her hands to her mouth. Her gaze flew back and forth between Leo and Holly. “Oh my God, you’re pregnant?”

  “Um, no.” Leo took a big breath. “We’re getting married.”

  For a second or two, even Travis fell silent.

  Ash tensed. Their friends had seemed very accepting of Holly and Leo’s relationship so far, but she had seen firsthand that some heterosexual people reacted in unexpected ways when it came to same-sex marriage, as if two women or two men tying the knot would somehow take away from their own relationships. Would one of them say something stupid and spoil their friends’ happiness? If that happened, Ash hoped she would be brave enough to stand up for them.

  Then everyone was talking at the same time, shouting their congratulations.

  “Wow, that’s wonderful!” Jenny hugged Holly, who sat next to her, and reached across her to pat Leo’s shoulder. “I’m so happy for the two of you.”