Not the Marrying Kind

by Jae

  “Well, your gaydar isn’t completely wrong—in my case,” Sasha added quickly. It wasn’t her place to out Ashley, especially since Holly’s sisters-in-law and her cousin were from Fair Oaks.

  “Oh, so you are gay?”

  Sasha shrugged. “Pansexual probably fits me best, but I’m not into labels.”

  “I see.” Grace smiled softly and studied Sasha with eyes the exact color as the ocean. “But you are into her.” She glanced over at Ashley.

  Having this conversation with Grace Durand was surreal, but at the same time, she was so far removed from Sasha’s life that it was easy to talk to her. There was no point in denying it. “It’s complicated.”

  Lauren laughed. “When is it ever not when a woman is involved?”

  “Hey, speak for yourself,” Grace said. “I’m very uncomplicated.”

  “Oh yeah. Falling in love with the very straight star of hetero romance movies…who was also my client. My married client. That wasn’t complicated at all.”

  “About-to-be-divorced and not-so-straight-after-all client,” Grace said. “Although I don’t like labels for myself either.”

  The media did, though. Sasha remembered that the tabloids had written sensational headlines about Grace Durand’s lesbian relationship and had hounded the couple for months after Grace had first revealed that she was with a woman.

  Sasha couldn’t imagine what she must have been through. Even coming out in a small, conservative town like Fair Oaks was nothing compared to coming out to the entire world.

  “Sasha, look!” Ashley rushed up to them. For a moment, she looked as if she was about to jump into Sasha’s arms, but then she stopped herself and toned down her excitement. “I found another one.” She held it out to her.

  This time, it was a brown and white sea snail shell as thick as Sasha’s thumb.

  “I think this one is called a tulip shell,” Lauren said.

  Since it was shaped like a closed tulip, the name fit.

  Ashley placed it on her palm next to the one she had found earlier. “A cake shell and a flower shell.” She grinned up at Sasha. “Kind of fitting, isn’t it?”

  Sasha smiled back. “Yeah, it is.” Inwardly, she cursed Leo and Holly. Why couldn’t they have invited them to a mani-pedi party or a night out in Kansas City? This romantic island getaway was killing her.

  Ash’s sandcastle crumbled for the third time. “Oops. Good thing I’m a florist, not an architect.”

  Meg put her shovel down and looked at her with an amused shake of her head. “You know, I think the trick to building a sandcastle is to actually look at what you’re doing.”

  Ash stared down at her pile of sand. “I am.”

  “Oh, then maybe you’re cross-eyed. I could have sworn you were looking at Sasha the entire time.”

  “What? No!”

  Meg slid her sunglasses to the tip of her nose and gave her an oh-please look.

  Her irreverent but friendly personality reminded Ash a lot of Melissa—or of Melissa before she’d become withdrawn and brooding. “Okay, maybe I was. It’s just good to see her relax for once, you know?” Ash said as casually as possible. Friends worried about the well-being of friends too, right? “She’s working a lot at home, so I’m glad she’s getting some R & R this weekend.”

  Meg chuckled. “If she were any more relaxed, she’d be comatose.”

  “True.” Ash looked over at Sasha again.

  Sasha had stretched out her long body on a beach towel, her sunglasses slid back onto her head and her eyes closed, while she was chatting with Jo.

  Ash smiled. If anyone could make the taciturn Jo talk, it was Sasha.

  “Let’s make this a little more interesting.” Meg waved at her partner. “Hey, Jo. Are you up for a sandcastle building contest? These two,” she pointed from Ash to Sasha, “against the two of us?”

  Jo immediately got up and trotted over. “Sure. I’m in.”

  Sasha leaned up on one arm. “How did I get involved in this?”

  “Well, someone’s got to help Ashley. Because this one,” Meg wrapped one arm around Jo, “lived in Cancún until she was six. Prime sandcastle building years,” she added with a toothy grin.

  Uh-oh. Ash exchanged an alarmed gaze with Sasha. “Come on, Sasha. You can’t let me go down alone.”

  “No one’s going down. At least not without a fight.” Sasha got up, put her sunglasses on, and drew her braid through the back of her baseball cap. She looked fierce, like a warrior getting ready for battle. “For a real contest, we need a prize. What does the winner get?”

  “Are you crazy?” Ash mouthed at her.

  Sasha patted her arm in an I-know-what-I’m-doing gesture. “So?”

  “Hmm…” Meg ran her hand through her carefully spiked hair. “How about the losers make cocktails for the rest of us tonight?”

  “Sounds good to me,” Sasha said. “So, how do we do this? First ones to finish their castle win?”

  Meg shook her head. “When it comes to sandcastles, beauty wins over speed. The pair who has the most beautiful castle in…let’s say half an hour wins.”

  “Who’s going to judge which one is more beautiful?” Sasha asked.

  Meg pointed to Holly, Leo, and the rest of the group, who were lounging on beach towels or splashing each other in the shallow water. “We’ll let them vote.”

  “All right.”

  “Ready?” Meg held up three fingers. “Three, two, one… Go!”

  Ash’s heart pounded even though it was just a fun contest. She started to pile up sand.

  “No,” Sasha called. “Follow my lead.” She sprinted to the waterline and shoveled damp sand into a bucket. “We need wet sand. Dry sand doesn’t hold its shape.”

  That would explain why Ash’s castles had all collapsed.

  Even though Ash had never built a sandcastle with another person before, they worked together like a well-oiled machine—Ash lugging over bucket after bucket of wet sand, which Sasha then packed down firmly with her hands and feet before pouring water over it.

  They took their time building a good foundation and then used the buckets to shape two medieval towers.

  Time and again, Ash’s gaze was drawn to Sasha’s nimble fingers as she shaved away sand in thin layers, forming arched doorways, little windows, and a crenelated wall around the castle. The way she smoothed her fingers along the outer wall looked almost like a caress.

  Ash averted her gaze and focused on creating a little watchtower on top of the wall.

  “Ooh, good thinking.” Sasha formed a watchtower of her own on the other side of the castle. “Can you put your hand here for a moment?” She patted the sand outside of the wall.

  When Ash put her hand down, Sasha piled wet sand on it and gently pressed down.

  Ash shivered at the touch.

  “Was the sand cold?” Sasha asked.

  Ash nodded, even though she had no idea if it was. Her focus was on Sasha’s hands, not on the sand.

  Sasha put another layer on top and patted it down with both hands. “Okay. Now carefully pull out.”

  Was it just her, or did that sound like something someone would say during sex? Not that Ash had a lot of experience with sexual situations. The only woman she had ever slept with was Holly. It was probably just her imagination. Keeping her fingers together, she withdrew and stared down at the newest addition to their castle. “Oh! It’s a drawbridge!” She sent Sasha an admiring look. “God, you’re so good at this. If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you’d grown up at the beach too. Your sand-castling skills are exceptional.”

  Sasha laughed. “I wish. But this is a lot like making a cake and then decorating it.”

  “I never saw it that way, but you’re right.”

  “Time’s up,” Meg called from where they were building their own castle.<
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  Sasha helped Ash up, and they stepped away from their creation.

  Ash hadn’t paid any attention to their competition’s castle while they had built their own. Now she looked over.

  It was good. Certainly better than anything Ash could have built on her own. But it didn’t have any of the creative details Sasha had added, like the drawbridge or the watchtowers on the castle walls.

  “Wow. I don’t think we need the jury after all,” Meg said with a laugh. “Guess we’re making the cocktails tonight.”

  Sasha and Ash high-fived each other.

  “I think I’ll head back to the house now. I need a shower.” Sasha had worked up a sweat while she’d packed down the sand, and the skin on her arms was gleaming where it wasn’t covered in a thin layer of sand. She tugged on one leg of her shorts and squirmed. “I’ve got sand in some pretty uncomfortable places. You coming, Ash?”

  “Oh yeah. Um, I mean, yes, I’m pretty itchy and sweaty too.” Before Ash followed her to the house, she grabbed the waterproof disposable camera that Holly had handed out to everyone before they’d gotten on the boat and snapped a photo of the castle. But she knew she would never forget this day even without a picture.

  Jo slid an orange slice onto the edge of the highball glass, then slid it over to Meg, who added a cherry on a stick and presented the cocktail with a playful bow. “One fairly won cocktail.”

  Sasha captured the straw with her lips and took a sip. The fruity cocktail had quite a kick. She tasted peach schnapps, cranberry, and orange juice, and if she wasn’t mistaken, there was vodka in there too. “Oh wow. What’s this?”

  “A Cuddles on the Beach,” Meg said.

  Sasha laughed. “A…what?”

  Meg grinned. “No sex this weekend, remember? So it can’t be a Sex on the Beach. You’re getting a Cuddles on the Beach.”

  Sasha took another sip. “Fine with me. Cuddles are great.”

  “Do you know what Ashley wants?” Meg looked around. “Where is she? I haven’t seen her since dinner.”

  Sasha hadn’t either. “Maybe she needed a minute to herself. If you make her a cocktail, I’ll find her.”

  “I’ll just make her the same,” Jo said. “Ashley looks like a woman who’d appreciate a good cuddle session.”

  “Um…” Sasha didn’t want to be thinking about cuddling with Ashley. Not when she had to sleep in the same bed with her tonight. But as always, her imagination didn’t care about what she wanted. It showed her in vivid detail what it might feel like to have Ashley cuddle up to her and rest her face against Sasha’s chest. For a second, it felt so real that Sasha could almost feel her warmth and smell her perfume. She had always thought that Opium was too bold, too spicy to fit Ashley, but now she was growing to like it.

  Sasha fished one of the ice cubes from her cocktail and popped it into her mouth. Maybe it would help her cool down.

  When Jo slid Ashley’s cocktail over to her, Sasha took it and carried both glasses inside. The open floor plan of the beach house instantly revealed that no one was downstairs. Everyone but Ashley was outside, lounging around the pool.

  Carefully watching the cocktail glasses so she wouldn’t spill their contents, Sasha went upstairs to see if Ashley had withdrawn to their room. But it was empty and so was the bathroom.

  Weird. Concern began to stir in her belly. She turned to go back downstairs and request some help in finding Ashley, but then a hunch made her pause. A second set of winding stairs, much narrower than the first, led up to the roof.

  Following her instincts, Sasha climbed the wooden stairs and found herself on a small, square platform perched on the roof.

  Somehow, she wasn’t surprised to find Ashley standing at the white railing. She stood with her back to Sasha and gazed out over the ocean. The sun was slowly dipping toward the horizon, and the sunset cast a warm, orange-and-pink glow on Ashley, making her look like a creature from a fairy tale—ethereally beautiful and vulnerable at the same time.

  Sasha’s breath caught. The urge to walk up behind Ashley and take her into her arms gripped her so strongly that she had already taken a step toward her before she became fully aware of it.

  Ashley turned and didn’t seem surprised to see her. She gestured toward the orange ball sinking into the ocean. “Makes me wish I was a painter,” she said quietly, as if speaking any louder would interrupt the peacefulness of the sunset.

  Sasha’s hands itched to have her watercolor pencils too, but rather to capture Ashley’s features in the soft, amber light. She stepped closer until she stood at the railing next to Ashley. “Cuddles on the Beach?”

  “Um…”

  Laughter bubbled up, nearly making Sasha spill the cocktails. “It’s not an offer. It’s the name of the cocktail.” She held the glass out to her.

  Ashley took it, holding the highball glass with both hands, and took a sip. She sucked in air through her teeth. “Wow. That’s pretty strong. I’d better stop after one, or I might jump up on a table and do some dirty dancing, and Holly requested a PG weekend.”

  Sasha bit the inside of her cheek so she wouldn’t comment.

  They leaned against the railing next to each other, their elbows brushing, as they sipped their cocktails and watched the sun set.

  “Do you know why this,” Sasha indicated the platform, “is called a widow’s walk?”

  “No idea.” Ashley turned toward her and leaned her hip against the railing. “Tell me.”

  “Apparently, it’s because in the past, wives came up here to wait for their husbands’ return from the sea.”

  “Then why is it called a widow’s walk, not a wife’s walk?” Ashley asked.

  Sasha swirled the ice cubes around in her glass. “Because some of them waited in vain. The ocean took the lives of many of the whalers and fishermen.”

  “How depressing,” Ashley mumbled. She turned back toward the railing and gazed across the water. “But I guess if you have to live the rest of your life alone, there are worse places than here.” An aura of sadness settled over Ashley like a heavy cloak.

  Something was going on with her; Sasha could sense it. Was she thinking about her own life? But before Sasha could ask, Ashley shook off whatever was going through her mind and smiled.

  “Look at that. Isn’t it beautiful?” Below them, the setting sun tinged the ocean with golden, orange, and crimson colors.

  “Very beautiful,” Sasha murmured.

  Slowly, the orange hues gave way to a purplish blue, then a dark navy, until only a band of light remained on the horizon. As if the darkness had triggered a switch, the pool lights came on, as did the lights illuminating the pathways through the lush tropical garden with its banana and key lime trees. It looked magical from above.

  Even once their glasses were empty, neither of them moved to rejoin the others. Sasha had enjoyed the day with her friends and getting to know new people, but sharing a few quiet moments with just Ashley was even more special.

  Ashley shivered and rubbed her arms.

  Now that the sun had set, the temperature cooled down quickly.

  Sasha untied her hoodie from around her waist and held it out to her.

  “Are you sure you don’t need it?” Ashley asked. “Won’t you get cold?”

  “Nah. In my family, everyone’s naturally hot-blooded. My aunt says it’s because the bakery ovens are part of our DNA.” She gave the hoodie an inviting shake. “Come on. Wouldn’t want to have to go back home and tell your parents I let you freeze to death.”

  Ashley chuckled. “In Florida? Not likely.”

  “Still.” Sasha pulled the sweatshirt over Ashley’s head and helped guide her hands though the correct holes.

  The hoodie came down to mid-thigh on Ashley, looking like a dress, and the sleeves covered her hands. She snuggled into it and curled her fingers into the fabric, as if to soak
up Sasha’s body heat.

  God. How could her old sweatshirt look so damn sexy? It felt incredibly intimate to see Ashley wearing her clothes.

  Ashley looked down at herself and giggled. “I probably look ridiculous.”

  “Nah. You look—” Sasha stopped herself before she could say sexy. “Um, adorable. Like a little girl playing dress-up in her mom’s clothes.” Okay, that had been the last thought on her mind, but Ashley didn’t need to know that.

  Ashley grunted as if she didn’t like that comparison, but now it was too late to take it back. Finally, she slid her hands into the pouch of the hoodie and looked down at the illuminated pool. “Do you like it here?”

  “Yeah,” Sasha said. “Very much so. You?”

  Ashley nodded. “Me too. I always thought I liked staying home best, but this… I could see myself staying here for a couple of weeks.”

  “Or months,” Sasha added with a laugh.

  Ashley laughed with her. “Or months.” Then she sobered. “I feel different here.”

  Sasha tried to see her face, but it was too dark to make out her expression. “Good different?”

  “I think so. I feel…I don’t know…freer. At least when it’s just us.”

  Wow. That was quite a statement from someone like Ashley, who probably never felt completely free and uninhibited. Sasha didn’t know what to say.

  Before she could think of something, Ashley let her gaze slide over the lights glittering on the ocean one last time, then turned away. “We should probably go back downstairs before someone reports us missing.”

  Sasha picked up their empty glasses and followed her downstairs. Only when Meg gave them a curious glance did she realize that Ashley was still wearing her hoodie.

  “Hey, there you are,” Meg said. Thankfully, neither she nor Jo commented on the hoodie. “More Cuddles on the Beach?”

  Laughing, Sasha held out their glasses. “Sure.”

  Sasha took her hair out of its braid, slid beneath the covers, and folded her arms behind her head as she listened to the noises of Ashley brushing her teeth in the bathroom.