Not the Marrying Kind

by Jae

  Sasha’s fingers dug into Ash’s hip, and a husky groan rose from her chest.

  The erotic sound sent shivers down Ash’s body. Seeing Sasha lost in the throes of passion was the most mind-blowing thing she’d ever seen. She tried to heighten the experience for her by rubbing her clit while she touched her, but she knew she wasn’t very coordinated.

  It didn’t seem to matter. Sasha surged up to meet her. “Yes! Just like…oh God!” Her eyes fell closed.

  Ash reached up with her free hand and touched her cheek. “Open your eyes. Look at me. Please.” She needed to see this—every last, amazing second of it—and she needed Sasha to see her too.

  Sasha’s eyes fluttered open immediately, and their gazes connected. The pleasure in her eyes—and knowing that she was causing it—sent a thrill directly to Ash’s core.

  God, she never wanted this to end.

  But all too soon, Sasha’s body went taut beneath her. She flung up her arm and pressed the back of her hand to her mouth, but a long moan still rang out.

  Sasha’s muscles contracted around her fingers, drawing her even deeper.

  Ash held her breath in wonder. She stilled her fingers but didn’t pull back, not wanting their incredible connection to end.

  Sasha lay without moving; only her chest heaved in a fast rhythm as she tried to catch her breath. She had kept her eyes open through it all, and now they were hazy with pleasure. Her hair spilled onto her shoulders in a tousled tangle, and she looked wild and completely satisfied at the same time.

  Ash couldn’t help herself. She had to kiss her. Their sweat-dampened skin slid against each other, setting off renewed sparks in Ash, as she moved up her body and pressed her mouth to Sasha’s.

  Instantly, Sasha came to life. She wrapped both arms around Ash, deepened the kiss, and rolled them around so she was on top again.

  Ash’s fingers slid out, and they both groaned.

  “Probably not very good at this?” Sasha repeated what Ash had said earlier. She playfully bit her earlobe. “If you were any better at it, I’d be dead…but what a way to go.”

  Her praise brought a flush to Ash’s skin. She’d been praised for a lot of things in her life, but never for her skills in the bedroom.

  Sasha captured her mouth again but then gentled the kiss. She cradled Ash’s face in both hands and studied her with a concerned gaze. “About earlier, when you were crying… Want to talk about it?”

  Ash quickly shook her head. Talking would lead to thinking, and that would ruin everything. She wasn’t ready for reason to intrude into this magical night. “Can we talk tomorrow?”

  “Sure.” The serious expression in Sasha’s eyes was replaced with a sexy devilish glint. “I can think of a thing or two we could do instead.” She slid her hand down Ash’s body.

  Moaning, Ash drew Sasha to her for a deep kiss and stopped thinking for the rest of the night.

  Chapter 17

  The first light of dawn filtering into the room woke Ash. Goose bumps had formed on her chest in the cool breeze coming in through the open French doors, but her back and a strip of skin on her belly were toasty warm.

  Ash peeked over her shoulder.

  Sasha was holding her from behind, with not an inch of space between them. Her arm was around Ash’s belly, and the wiry hair between her legs tickled Ash’s butt.

  Ash lay in her arms, caught between the urge to run and the desire to turn and kiss her awake so they could spend their last hour on the island making love again.

  Making love? Ash stiffened. No. Not love. It couldn’t be that. She was just overwhelmed with the brand-new experience of being desired and being allowed to desire without restrictions. Without a doubt, this had been the best sex of her life. Not that there was a lot of competition.

  But deep down, Ash knew she was lying to herself. She knew this had not been just sex. Not even just great sex. The way Sasha had wiped away her tears and then, later, had held her as they had fallen asleep around four in the morning…

  Why did Sasha have to be so sweet? That had made everything even more confusing. What was she supposed to do now?

  Ash pressed her fisted hand to her mouth.

  Her knuckles stung. Almost grateful for the distraction from a pain that went so much deeper, she gazed at her hand.

  Four fading bite marks were still carved into her skin from when she’d bitten down on her knuckles so she wouldn’t cry out in ecstasy. The tiny marks reflected exactly how she felt: marked by this incredible experience.

  But she knew they would soon fade completely. By tomorrow, they would be gone—and so would her time with Sasha.

  A wave of sadness clutched her so fiercely that Ash couldn’t breathe.

  All those emotions were too much for her. She needed to get out of here so she could think clearly. Gently, careful not to wake her, she lifted Sasha’s arm from around her hip and slid out of bed.

  Sasha mumbled something that sounded like a protest but didn’t wake.

  Ash walked around the room, looking for her clothes. God, her entire body ached as if she’d done the most intense workout of her life. She blushed at the thought of how they’d spent the night. They hadn’t stopped for hours, both insatiable. She hadn’t known it could be like that.

  After a minute, she found a pair of shorts and put them on, then grabbed the nearest T-shirt. When she slipped it over her head, she realized it was Sasha’s. She had pulled it off and discarded it on the bedside table last night. Sasha’s scent clung to it, making her inhale deeply.

  God, this was crazy. She was standing here, sniffing Sasha’s shirt. She gave herself a mental kick and fled to the door.

  Her first thought was to go down to the beach and hide out there until it was time to leave, but that wouldn’t be fair to Sasha. She had promised they would talk this morning, so she couldn’t go far.

  Clanking sounds came from the kitchen. Someone was up and making breakfast, but Ash wasn’t up for company.

  The stairs up to the widow’s walk promised solitude, and Ash rushed toward it as if it were a lifeboat on a sinking ship.

  Sasha woke up shivering. She wasn’t surprised when she reached out and found only cold sheets instead of Ashley’s warm body. Waking up alone after a night in Ashley’s arms was starting to become a familiar experience, and that set off every alarm in her head.

  God, why was she doing this to herself? She should have known this would happen.

  She rubbed her face and groaned as she caught Ashley’s scent clinging to her fingers. Quickly, she dropped her hands to the bed and stared at the ceiling, trying to come to grips with the situation.

  Okay, so they had slept together. It shouldn’t have been such a big deal. A month ago, when she and Ashley had talked about relationships in the bakery, Sasha had said that she wouldn’t mind having pizza again at some point—and now she had. Pizza wasn’t usually a let’s-hang-around-for-breakfast thing. So why was Ashley’s absence this morning upsetting her so much?

  If she was honest with herself, she knew the answer. This hadn’t been a college fling or a few hours of fun with a virtual stranger. Last night had meant something to her; she just hadn’t figured out what exactly.

  The way Ashley had trembled beneath her, vulnerable and insecure, had touched her as deeply as her growing abandon as the night continued on.

  While she wasn’t sure what it all meant, she knew she wasn’t ready to walk away and pretend it hadn’t happened.

  She swung her legs out of bed. Wow. She’d used some muscles last night that hadn’t seen any action in some time.

  Flashes of their night together followed her as she walked around the room to find her clothes. Her T-shirt was nowhere to be found. She ducked into the bathroom, but it wasn’t there either. Only Ashley’s sleep shirt lay abandoned on the floor.

  Sasha washed her hands and her
face. Then she picked up Ashley’s sleep shirt and pressed it to her nose. What are you doing? God, this was getting ridiculous.

  She folded the shirt and set it on the bathroom counter before getting a new T-shirt out of her bag. Where had the other one disappeared to? Had Ashley taken it?

  The thought of Ashley wearing her T-shirt was sexy beyond words, and it gave her hope because she knew Ashley wouldn’t go far if she wasn’t properly dressed.

  She might have run, but at least she hadn’t run far.

  When Sasha opened the door, the scent of coffee trailed up the stairs.

  Was Ashley down there, making coffee, maybe even intending to bring it upstairs and crawl back into bed with her?

  But when Sasha entered the kitchen, it wasn’t Ashley behind the counter; it was Meg. Her spiky hair stuck up in all directions.

  “Good morning.” Sasha tried to look around inconspicuously.

  There was no trace of Ashley anywhere.

  “Morning.” Meg yawned and slid a mug of coffee toward her. “You look tired. Did they keep you up too?”

  “They?” Sasha took an eager sip of coffee, even though it was almost too hot to drink.

  “I think it was Grace and Lauren. They went at it like rabbits for half of the night.” Meg grinned. “Good thing Holly just requested that no one talk about sex, not that no one have sex.”

  Sasha nearly spat her mouthful of coffee across the counter. She hoped to hell she wasn’t giving them away by blushing. Had they really been that loud? She hadn’t thought so, but then again, Ashley had made her lose control a time or two. “Could I have another mug for Ashley? She, um, couldn’t sleep all night either, so she could use the caffeine.”

  “Sure.” Meg poured another mug. “Looks like Grace and Lauren kept up everyone.”

  Sasha didn’t answer. She added milk and the amount of sugar Ashley liked, then fled back upstairs with both mugs. She had a feeling she knew where Ashley had gone. As she had suspected, she found her—and the missing T-shirt—on the widow’s walk.

  Once again, Ashley was staring out across the ocean. She had her arms wrapped around herself and huddled into the too-big T-shirt to ward off the early-morning chill.

  Sasha wanted to walk up behind her and wrap her arms around her to provide some warmth but didn’t know if that kind of touch was welcome, even after last night. Maybe especially after last night.

  Ashley turned as if sensing her presence and gave her a smile that was strangely shy, considering they had spent most of the night exploring each other’s body. “Morning.”

  “Good morning.” Sasha held out one of the mugs. “I brought you some coffee.” Okay, that was obvious, but she suddenly found herself a little tongue-tied, not sure what to expect from Ashley now. Would she want to pretend nothing had happened?

  “Thank you.” Ashley took the mug from her.

  Their fingers touched, sending a tingle of sensation through Sasha’s body. If she had thought one night was enough to get Ashley out of her system, that theory was definitely proven wrong. If anything, the pull between them had gotten stronger.

  They stood side by side at the railing, watching the waves come in at the beach and sipping their drinks, as they had two days ago. But their time on the island had changed a lot between them, so this felt very different.

  Sasha peeked over at Ashley and caught her looking at her out of the corner of her eye. God, this was silly. One of them had to act like an adult, or they would go home without having talked about last night. She turned to fully face Ashley, and after a moment of hesitation, Ashley did the same.

  To Sasha’s surprise, Ashley was the first one to speak. “I wasn’t running from you.” After a beat, she added, “Well, not much anyway. I just needed some space to think.”

  Sasha gave a nod of acknowledgment. “So, what are you thinking?”

  Ashley stared into her coffee and trailed her thumb along the rim of the mug. “I don’t know. I’ve never done anything like last night before. Just kissed someone totally out of the blue and…” She shook her head. “I’m sorry if I blindsided you.”

  Sasha held up one hand to stop her words. “Didn’t I already prove to you last night that I wanted it to happen too?”

  A pink tinge spread over Ashley’s cheeks. “Yes, you did. But I admit I surprised myself.” She let out a chuckle that sounded nervous. “Isn’t it normally the bride who’s supposed to do crazy things and have one last one-night stand during the bachelorette party?”

  “One-night stand?” Sasha repeated. The words tasted more bitter than the coffee. She put her mug down. “Is that what it was for you?”

  “Yes. No. I…” Ashley breathed in and out several times as if gathering her strength. “It didn’t feel like a one-night stand,” she finally said in a whisper.

  The bitter taste in Sasha’s mouth disappeared. “So we both agree that it wasn’t just a quick bite of pizza that was good in the moment, but easily forgotten.”

  “It was more than pizza.” A myriad of emotions glittered in Ashley’s eyes. “But it can’t be steak, Sasha. What happened between us…it will always be special to me, but it doesn’t change my situation at home. I can’t live my life as an outsider, and I can’t lose my parents.”

  Sasha had known that Ashley would say something like that, but it still hurt. “So what happened in Florida, stays in Florida. That’s what you’re saying, right?”

  Ashley hung her head. She put her half-finished mug of coffee down too. “I wish things were different, but I can’t make you any promises that I know I won’t be able to keep.”

  “No, I guess you can’t.” Sasha sighed. She couldn’t blame Ashley for not wanting to leap out of the closet after one night of passionate sex. She had known who Ashley was and what kind of baggage she came with when she’d taken her to bed. But all of these reasonable thoughts couldn’t stop the sadness that settled down on her like a dark cloud. “So this,” she waved her hand at them, the house, and the beach, “is it? That’s all we can ever have?”

  “I think it has to be.” Ashley looked her in the eyes, then glanced away. “I’m sorry, Sasha. I never meant to—”

  Sasha surprised them both by bridging the space between them with one long step, crushing Ashley’s body to hers, and kissing her. She had meant it to be a demanding kiss, one that would imprint her on Ashley’s mind and make her realize what she was turning her back on, but as soon as their lips met, the kiss gentled.

  Ashley didn’t protest or push her away. She tangled her fingers in Sasha’s hair and kissed her back.

  It wasn’t a passionate kiss or a seductive one. Even though they would fly home together, this felt like a kiss goodbye.

  When it ended, Ashley leaned her forehead against Sasha’s shoulder, and Sasha held her close. They stood that way, listening to the murmur of the ocean and each other’s heartbeat, until it was time to get ready to leave.

  Sasha hugged her tightly, and Ashley clung to her with unexpected strength.

  “We won’t lose our friendship once we’re back home, will we?” Ashley whispered. “It might be a little selfish, but I don’t want to give you up completely.”

  Maybe it would have been better to sever all ties once and for all, but was that really even possible in a small town like Fair Oaks? They would run into each other constantly.

  Besides, she didn’t want to lose Ashley for good either. “I hope not.” Sasha forced a grin. “But we should probably give up the food fight kisses and sleeping in the same bed.”

  Ashley’s laughter almost sounded like a sob. “And applying lotion to each other’s backs.”

  “That too.” Sasha nodded, but it felt as if they would be giving up much more than just these things. She gave Ashley one last gentle squeeze and then let go. “Come on. We need to hurry, or we’ll miss our flight.”

  “I have to a
dmit that at the moment, I really wouldn’t c—” Ashley cut herself off.

  “Really wouldn’t what?”

  Ashley shook her head. “Nothing.”

  “Oh, before we go downstairs, I think there’s one more thing you need to know,” Sasha said as they picked up their mugs. “Meg heard us.”

  “Heard us doing w—? Oh!” Ashley blushed so fiercely that her face looked as if it had gotten sunburned too. A second later, she turned very pale. “Shit! Did she tell the others?”

  Sasha took the mug from her because Ashley was trembling so much that she nearly dropped it. “Calm down. She thinks it was Grace and Lauren, and I didn’t correct her.”

  Ashley blew out a breath. “Thank God.”

  Sasha bit her lip. Ashley’s relief hurt. Intellectually, she understood that Ashley’s panic at the thought of someone finding out about them had nothing to do with her and everything to do with Ashley’s fear of being outed, but her heart didn’t care. Yeah, and that’s why Ashley is right. It’s better to end it here and now. Trying to make things work with her would only end in heartache.

  But it didn’t feel that way at all. Everything in her screamed that this was wrong.

  Neither of them said anything else as they walked down the stairs and packed their bags. Maybe there wasn’t anything left to say.

  Chapter 18

  Mrs. Beasley prattled on and on while Ash arranged white tea roses, white Stargazer lilies, and yellow stephanotis into a bouquet.

  Ash nodded and hummed her agreement in all the right places, but her attention wasn’t on the conversation or even on the bouquet. Her mind hadn’t been on work since she’d gotten back from Florida three days ago.

  Well, she was thinking about flowers…kind of.

  The lilies made her think of the lily dust Sasha had gotten all over her shirt six weeks ago—and the way she had touched Sasha’s breast with the tape. That, of course, led to her remembering the caresses she had bestowed upon Sasha’s breasts Saturday night. A flush warmed her body.