Not the Marrying Kind

by Jae

  She burst into the bar and headed straight for the corner table, where her friends were sitting.

  Her gaze immediately zeroed in on Sasha.

  God, she looked good. For once, her hair wasn’t braided but tumbled onto her strong shoulders in carefree waves. Ash vividly remembered how it had felt to bury her fingers in it a week ago. Sasha had rolled up the sleeves of her button-down, revealing forearms that were tanned from their time in Florida.

  Sasha looked up as if sensing her approach, and their gazes connected. A smile lit up Sasha’s face.

  Ash had to rein in her answering smile so no one would think she was too eager to see Sasha. She waved at the rest of the group. “Sorry I’m late, guys. I had to go out to my folks. My dad started planting the corn today, and my mom caught a bad cold, so I took them a tuna casserole.”

  “No problem. You are just in time for the interesting part,” Jenny said. “Holly and Leo had the photos developed.”

  “Photos?” Ash repeated.

  “The ones from the disposable cameras they gave us last weekend.”

  Derek jumped up from his end of the horseshoe-shaped booth and gestured for Ash to slide in between him and Holly.

  Ash threw a longing glance toward Sasha’s side of the table, but there was no way she could tell him she’d rather sit next to Sasha.

  Cait had joined them tonight too, so it was a tight fit, and Derek’s knee pressed against hers.

  Ash tried to inconspicuously move her leg away.

  He waved over the waitress. “Put whatever Ashley’s having on my tab.”

  Shit. He had already bought her cupcakes this week. Obviously, he was trying to woo her with food and drink. Should she just accept not to cause any public drama?

  But she knew it would only lead to problems in the long run, and she had promised herself not to play that game anymore. While she couldn’t date whom she wanted, she also wouldn’t make some poor guy unhappy by stringing him along.

  Sasha looked as if she was ready to come to her rescue, so Ash quickly said, “I really appreciate the offer, Derek, but I’m fine paying for my beer.”

  Derek lifted both hands, palm out. “Whatever you want.”

  Travis laughed and reached across the table to slap his shoulder. “See? I told you, man. You’re barking up the wrong tree.”

  “Shut up,” Derek said. “Her wanting to pay for her own drink just means she’s a modern, emancipated woman, not that she’s…whatever you keep saying she is.”

  Her cheeks burning, Ash forced herself to look him in the eyes. “And as a modern, emancipated woman, I don’t appreciate being talked about like I’m not sitting right here.”

  “Wow,” someone mumbled.

  Sasha threw her a surprised look. Then a grin curled up her lips.

  Ash was equally surprised by what she had just said. That happened a lot lately, and part of it was Sasha’s influence.

  Derek ducked his head. “Um, sorry. You’re right.”

  “So,” the waitress said, looking back and forth between them. “What do you want me to bring you?”

  Ash peered up at her. “A Bud Light, please.”

  When the waitress walked away, Holly lifted her stack of photos. “Want to see them?”

  “Grace Durand in a bikini?” Travis grinned. “Hell, yes!”

  “Sorry, Trav,” Leo said. “No one took any photos of Grace. She’s in the limelight so much that she asked us to not bother her with a camera for that one weekend.”

  That was a lie. Grace hadn’t asked for any special treatment; Ash knew that. But she loved the way Leo was protecting the privacy of her famous friend.

  Travis pretended to pout until Jenny elbowed him in the ribs.

  They passed the photos around the table, and Ash oohed and aahed along with everyone else. The photos had turned out great. Snapshots of the beach, the great food, and them all having a wonderful time brought back a lot of good memories of last weekend.

  A few of the photos were of Sasha and her—high-fiving each other after winning the sandcastle competition, sipping their second cocktail, and sharing a cupcake.

  Of course, the most special moments of that weekend hadn’t been captured on camera. Ash hid her red cheeks behind the beer bottle the waitress had just brought her and took a big sip.

  Then someone handed her the next picture.

  A drop of beer dribbled down Ash’s chin as she nearly spat out the entire mouthful.

  The photo had been taken at the beach, during the evening of the bonfire. Even though the fire provided the only light for the camera, the details were still clear enough. She and Sasha were sharing a blanket, and they had turned toward each other so their knees were touching. Sparks from the fire had lit up their features—or maybe it was the way they were looking at each other, as if no one else existed on the island…or the entire state of Florida.

  Oh God. Ash’s skin felt as if she were sitting next to a fire again.

  This wasn’t how two friends looked at each other. It had to be pretty obvious to anyone who threw even a fleeting glance at the picture. If she passed on that photo, everyone would know how she felt about Sasha.

  How do you feel about her? a little voice in the back of her mind asked.

  She silenced it immediately. She had avoided thinking about it too deeply all week, and now wasn’t the time to do it. One panic attack at a time was enough.

  Sasha gave her a questioning gaze from across the table. “Everything okay? There isn’t a bikini photo of Grace after all, is there?”

  “Gimme, gimme.” Travis waved his hands.

  “No. No one’s wearing a bikini in this one.” Ash wanted to slide the photo into her purse, but now everyone’s attention was on her, so there was no way to make it disappear. With trembling hands, she passed the photo on to Cait across the table.

  Cait looked at it for several moments as if she didn’t recognize the people in the photo.

  And maybe she really didn’t. Ash had barely recognized herself that night.

  “Oh, that was right after Ash sang with Leo, I think,” Cait finally said. “So much emotion in that song.”

  Ash started to breathe again. Wow. She had gotten lucky. Cait had attributed the emotion that was obvious on their faces to the song.

  Sasha was the next one to get the photo. She looked at it for what seemed like a very long time, then passed it on to Lisa without saying anything.

  What was she thinking? What had she seen on Ash’s face?

  While the others exclaimed over a photo of the sunset over the ocean, Sasha and Ash looked at each other across the table.

  “Jeez,” Sasha mouthed at her, a stunned look on her face. “Did you see…?”

  Should she pretend not to know what Sasha was talking about? It crossed her mind for a second, but she immediately decided against it. Sasha deserved better than such childish games. She nodded and pressed her beer bottle against her forehead.

  We’re screwed. So screwed. This thing between them was so much more than pizza. The picture screamed it loud and clear. It had the potential to be a steak dinner that would be satisfying for life—if only Ash had the courage to order it.

  God, she wanted to. She really did. But was she ready to deal with the consequences? People would be staring, whispering, making ugly comments behind her back. The mere thought of it made her skin itch as if she was breaking out into hives. But there was another, a new voice in the back of her mind too, whispering that not everyone would react that way. Sasha’s aunt hadn’t. And maybe being with Sasha would be worth all the stares and comments.

  Ash barely registered any of the other photos or the conversation around the table. She felt Sasha’s concerned gaze on her several times but was glad when she didn’t ask. Her thoughts were a jumbled mess, so she wouldn’t have been able to explain them t
o anyone, not even Sasha.

  As always, Ash and Sasha were the first ones to leave the bar. Since their friends knew they had to get up early most days, no one seemed to think anything of them leaving together.

  Just when Ash thought they would make their escape and could finally talk, Derek hurried after them. “Wait up, Ash. I’ll walk you to your car.”

  Sasha whirled around to him, blocking the door with her broad shoulders. “This is Fair Oaks, Derek, not the Bronx,” she said with an uncharacteristic sharpness. “She doesn’t need anyone to walk her to her car.”

  Ash put her hand on Sasha’s forearm. The muscles beneath her fingers were tense.

  “It’s okay, Ash. I know she’s right,” Derek said. “Looks like I’m really putting my foot in it with you ladies tonight. I swear I’m not a patronizing ass who thinks women aren’t capable of fending for themselves.” He gave Sasha a wry grin. “I know any mugger would be more likely to run from you than from me anyway. It’s just…” His cheeks colored. “I’m trying to find a moment alone with Ash.”

  Sasha opened the door and walked out, her long legs quickly putting some distance between them.

  All of Ash’s instincts told her to run after her, but under Derek’s attentive gaze, she forced herself to follow slowly.

  As Sasha approached Ash’s SUV, parked along the curb, she slowed and then turned toward them.

  Ash sent her a pleading gaze, silently begging her not to leave her alone with Derek.

  But she knew she couldn’t avoid it forever. A silent standoff between Derek and Sasha, with each one waiting for the other to leave, would look pretty suspicious to anyone passing by.

  “Good night,” Sasha finally said. “See you next week.”

  “Night, Sasha.” Ash couldn’t help watching her until her tall shape disappeared in the near darkness down the street.

  “So,” Derek said, “did you like the cupcakes?”

  Ash bit her lip. Brooke had eaten them all. Ash was experiencing enough flashbacks to Florida as it was; the last thing she needed was anything else that made her think of Sasha. “I always do. Sasha’s cupcakes are the best.”

  “So I heard. I haven’t actually tried them yet. I mean, of course I had her aunt’s before I left, but not Sasha’s.”

  “You definitely should.”

  “Maybe we could get together and you could introduce me to your favorites,” Derek said.

  Ash watched him in the glow of the streetlight. “Are you, um, asking me out on a date?”

  “Yes.” He looked her in the eyes. “Yes, I am. So, what do you say? Will you go have coffee and cupcakes with me?”

  Ash wished she could just jump into her car and speed away. But she would have to face this situation once and for all. “I think you’re a really nice guy, Derek—”

  He groaned. “I’m about to get friend-zoned, right?”

  “Um, yeah. Sorry, Derek. I really like you, but not that way.”

  He stared at the pockmarked sidewalk, then lifted his gaze to hers again. “Is it because you’re gay?”

  The direct question hit Ash like a punch to the diaphragm. A wave of panic surged through her, not just because he had asked but mainly because for one crazy second, she thought she might answer yes.

  Are you out of your mind? He’d tell his mother, and she would tell Mom and the entire rest of town!

  “You’re right—about you really stepping into it today,” she finally told him. “Honestly, it comes across as pretty arrogant if you think any woman who’s rejecting you has to be gay.”

  “That’s not what I…” Derek scrubbed his hand across his face. “Sorry. I guess I let Travis’s comments get to me.”

  Ash unlocked her SUV and opened the driver’s side door.

  “I really am sorry, Ash,” Derek said.

  She climbed in. “It’s okay,” she said, even though at the moment, nothing in her life felt okay. “See you next week.” She closed the door and started the engine with trembling fingers, her only thought on making a quick getaway.

  As she sped past the bakery, her foot lifted off the gas on its own volition.

  No. Taking refuge in Sasha’s arms would defeat the purpose. She couldn’t have her cake and eat it too—or, in her case, have her baker and stay in the closet.

  Chapter 19

  “Are you sure that’s a good idea?” Aunt Mae asked as Sasha arranged her sugar flowers in a box the Thursday evening before the wedding. “I thought you wanted to spend less time around Ashley for a while?”

  “I did.” Sasha hadn’t seen that much of Ashley in the nearly four weeks since the bachelorette weekend, partly because they were both working nearly around the clock, first because of Easter and now to get ready for the wedding and then Mother’s Day the week after. “This is work, not pleasure.”

  “Uh-huh. Then why don’t you have me or Tammy run the sugar flowers over to the flower shop? It’s not like you don’t have enough to do in the bakery two days before the wedding.”

  “Because…um…”

  Aunt Mae walked over and put her hand on Sasha’s arm. “I don’t mean to nag you, honey. I just don’t want you to get hurt.”

  Sasha flashed her a smile that she thought was pretty convincing. “Don’t worry. I’m a lot like you. I need a relationship about as much as I need a third nostril.”

  Aunt Mae gently pinched Sasha’s nose. “Liar.”

  “Ouch.” Sasha rubbed her nose. “Seriously, Auntie Mae. I’m a big girl. I’ll be fine.”

  “You’d better be, or I’ll take Ashley over my knee.”

  The mental image made Sasha snort with laughter. God, she had needed that. “I’ll tell Ashley you said so.”

  She tucked the box under her arm and walked down Main Street. It was after seven in the evening, but as she approached the flower shop, she wasn’t surprised to see Ashley still behind the counter, working on something.

  Seeing her always gave Sasha a little jolt that was part happiness, part longing, and this time wasn’t any different.

  At the jingle of the bell above the door, Ashley looked up. A genuine smile lit up her face. “Hey, stranger. I didn’t think I’d see you before Saturday. How’s the wedding cake coming?”

  “Great. I baked it today, so I’ll have all day tomorrow to decorate.” Sasha walked up to the counter. “I thought I’d bring you the gum paste flowers you wanted and see if you needed any help with whatever you’re doing.”

  Ashley stared at her. “Seriously? You want to help me after the long workday you’ve had and the even longer one you’ll be having tomorrow?”

  Sasha shrugged as casually as possible. “I promised I’d come over and play florist sometime if you baked cupcakes with me—and you did, so…” The memory of how that adventure had ended swept over her. Oh no, she told herself sternly. You won’t end up on the floor, kissing her, this time.

  “I’ll make the boutonnieres, the corsages, and the bridal bouquets tomorrow, but if you want to help me with some centerpieces for the tables at the reception…”

  “Sure.” Sasha opened the box she was carrying. “Do you want to use some of these?”

  “Not a good idea since I need to spray down my flowers with water to keep them fresh. I thought we could use the gum paste flowers to decorate the cake table.” Ashley peeked into the box, then tenderly lifted out one of the Peruvian lilies and cradled it in her palm. “Oh wow. Sasha, these are fantastic. Like pieces of art. They look so real!”

  Sasha laughed, stoked with Ashley’s praise. “Yeah. And the best thing is that they won’t get any pollen on Holly’s and Leo’s wedding outfits.” The memory of the pollen Ashley had removed from her shirt made heat pool low in Sasha’s belly.

  Ashley cleared her throat as if she was thinking about the same thing. “Okay, then let’s get started. We need to be in bed early. U
m, not the same bed, obviously.”

  Sasha chuckled hoarsely. “Obviously.” She watched Ashley prepare the flowers—remove leaves and trim the end of the stems.

  “Why don’t I do the roses, and you do the alstroemeria?” Ashley suggested. “That way, you don’t have to deal with thorns. I wouldn’t want anything to happen to your fingers.”

  Sasha tried not to read anything into Ashley’s interest in her fingers. “Um, sure.”

  They worked together without saying much, each focused on her task. Once they had prepped all the flowers, Ashley started to arrange the centerpiece, first inserting fern into the green foam, then roses and Peruvian lilies.

  Sasha watched Ashley’s nimble fingers with fascination. They were covered in little nicks and scratches, and she wanted to place a healing kiss on each of them.

  “What?” Ashley asked, not looking up from her work.

  “Nothing.” Sasha averted her gaze and searched for something to say. “I noticed Derek wasn’t all over you like a bee on honey the last two Saturdays. Did you tell him to take a hike?”

  “Um, I was a little more polite than that, but yeah, I made it clear that I have no interest in him.”

  The satisfaction Sasha felt was probably way out of proportion. “How did he take it?”

  Ashley filled in the gaps in the arrangement with some greenery that had tiny, white flowers. “He wasn’t happy.”

  “I can imagine,” Sasha murmured. “You’re a hard woman to get over.”

  She tried to insert humor into her tone, but Ashley must have heard something else too because she looked up from the glass cylinder vase she was inserting into the center of her creation.

  Sasha squirmed. “What?” she asked, hoping Ashley would answer “nothing” too.

  “Um, you have a pink streak on your jaw.”

  “Oh. That’s probably some of the edible petal dust I used to color the gum paste flowers.” Sasha rubbed her palm over her jaw. “Gone?”

  “No. You’re making it worse. Let me.” Ashley wiped her hands on her apron and leaned across the counter. Slowly, she reached up and trailed her fingertips along Sasha’s jaw.