My Soul To Keep

by Jackie Sonnenberg

  “Don’t you see? Anytime we meditate something happens. We feel tired or dizzy and we don’t remember anything. And then there’s a tornado or something. Don’t you think that’s weird?”

  “Well yeah but—

  “I think they can control us,” she interrupted me. “I think they are controlling us and everything we do…and everything we think.”

  My head shook, but just a little.

  “I don’t know how, but they are. The walls have ears, and they can hear us and see us and they can control our spirits whenever we meditate!”

  We didn’t know what to say, but hearing Mitchell’s voice made us all perk up. We left the room and went into the kitchen where he asked everyone to contribute to the food fund for another meal.

  “Now everyone go do your homework!” Mitchell said cheerily, making sure to look at each of us individually as we put our spare change in the can. We started to walk away, but only turned slightly because we thought Mitchell was still talking to us. I watched him leave the kitchen, especially how he had his head titled to the side, as though raising a listening ear. “Yes, my children,” I heard him mumble. What in the world was that about?

  ***

  The Manor did not feel any differently that evening. Students studying and hanging out like normal. No one showed any signs of…anything…out of the ordinary. Except Becky.

  She sat on the couch with two other people, talking in hushed tones. I immediately went over to join them. One looked dubious, the other looked concerned.

  “Ask Sky if you don’t believe me!” Becky exclaimed in a whisper as I sat down. I didn’t need any other cue.

  “There are things happening here that are out of our control,” I said to the two girls. “And our minds are being messed with.”

  “I don’t think so,” one girl said.

  “Yeah, I mean…they couldn’t.”

  “They can control us,” Becky said. “They are controlling our spirits.”

  “What in the world are you talking about?”

  The looks on their faces alone said they weren’t biting.

  “No, it’s true,” she tried to nudge. “Didn’t you feel…anything? Like you were doing something you didn’t mean to? They are controlling us and making us do things…turn into tornadoes and destroy the campus and send our spirits to place to haunt people.”

  At that point the hallway bathroom door opened and Iris stepped out. She walked past and eyed us.

  “Hi.”

  “Hey,” we said as casually as possible.

  She smirked, especially at Becky. I did not like the look she gave us on the way out.

  ***

  Damien’s homecoming at least made me relieved, if not a little bit anxious. I just sat on the couch like a zombie watching TV. Nothing else happened. I wasn’t exactly sure what to expect anymore, anyway.

  “Hi,” Damien said.

  “Hi,” I returned.

  He sat down next to me. “So...anything going on?”

  “No,” I answered. “Nothing. No one acted weird or even said anything. Becky was talking to these girls, but they didn’t seem to buy it.”

  And speaking of the devil.

  She came in while some others trailing behind her. She noticed us right away and came to sit in the lounge.

  “Hi guys,” she said sort of casually. “What’s…happening?”

  “Nothing,” I answered first.

  Damien wiped his hair out of his face. “No one listens, or wants to.”

  Out of nowhere Mitchell came out of his office and made his way to the kitchen. “Hello, everyone,” he greeted us. We mumbled greetings and it appeared as though he were going in the fridge for a drink, but stopped once he saw the three of us.

  “Becky,” he said. “Becky, I’ve heard from some other members that you have things troubling you.”

  She turned around, but Damien and I couldn’t.

  “Come with me my dear and we can talk about it.”

  No Becky, don’t! I mentally urged as the goosebumps formed up and down my legs, but she went willingly without saying another word. Damien and I did nothing but pretend to be watching TV. I saw in the reflection of the TV screen Becky walk to Mitchell’s open arms. He led her back to his office and we heard the door shut. Damien and I eyed each other, but we didn’t make any sudden movements or any movements at all. When she came back out, we turned our heads.

  “Hey guys.”

  We practically jumped up and she came over and sat down on the couch again.

  “What happened in there?”

  “What did Mitchell say?”

  “Nothing, nothing!” said Becky pleasantly. “He told me he heard what I was saying to the others, and that I had it all wrong, and I shouldn’t be spreading lies like that. The hot chocolate was just hot chocolate, and we were all tired because it was our bodies’ way of telling us we were well rested. Nobody is controlling anything, that is just ridiculous. And that is all!”

  Damien and I looked at each other, lips opened in small ‘o’s.

  “Um, really?” I asked.

  “What about everything you were telling us?” Damien chimed in.

  Becky shook her head. “Nothing to worry about! As far as the spirits go, they will not harm us. I was wrong! All wrong.”

  “What’s with you?” I asked Becky, who appeared to be chewing her face.

  “Nothing. My tongue itches.”

  Becky smiled at us, scratching her tongue with her teeth. My forehead tensed but neither I nor Damien could come up with anything else to say. She was quite the alarmist before, now she sat with us watching sitcoms like nothing ever happened. What did happen? Where did she come up with her ideas in the first place?

  ***

  Was I supposed to sleep better that night? Because, of course, I couldn’t.

  My head swam with the thoughts of the group and everything that happened recently. Part of me did want to believe what Becky told us about the tornado and the students and the meditations, but I wasn’t so sure. It was a new feeling I had that I couldn’t shake. Why would Becky say one thing and then say the opposite? As I tossed and turned I felt like even my own pillow and blankets were suffocating me. I heard the swishing of the sheets and the electric static of the wool blanket making tiny firecrackers in my bed, seeing the sparks run across my pant legs.

  Some voices echoed in the halls, here and there, barely whispers. Whatever was living in the walls tonight was out and active. Then, I heard a cry that was much closer.

  I pushed the blankets from my face and sat up. The cries came again, but these were very close and very human. They were cries of fear or pain or both. I kicked away the rest of the bedding and flew out of bed. I opened my door and struggled to see in the darkness, still too dark to put on my glasses. I heard the cry again, and this time it was closer and more persistent. As I ran down the hallway I noticed two other doors open and Kimberly and Holly rushed out.

  “Who is that?” Holly asked.

  “I don’t know!” I answered. “I think it’s someone on this floor.”

  “This way,” Kimberly said. “It’s got to be someone down here.”

  The three of us strode down the hallway following more outbursts. They were painful cries and they were getting louder. And more familiar.

  “It’s Becky,” I whispered anxiously.

  Without even knocking Kimberly opened her door and we filtered right in.

  “Becky!” she cried. “Becky, what is it?”

  Holly turned on the lamp on the nightstand and we crowded the bed, where she lay with her mouth wide open and ever-ending tears streaming down her face. She alternated trying to shove her pillow in her mouth and screaming.

  “Becky!” Kimberly yelled again. “Are you awake? Wake up!” She gave her a shake as Becky crammed one of the pillow corners in her mouth and sobbed in the fluff. Becky’s eyes opened and she stared at all of us, her eyes wide and white. It was all we saw as she chewed ferociously on the pi
llow and screamed into it.

  “What the…what’s wrong with her?” stammered Holly. I sat on her bed and tried to take the pillow.

  “Becky! Becky what happened? Are you hurt?” I asked. “Give me the pillow.”

  Becky loosened her grip weakly, still making hysterical animal noises. Once the pillow revealed her face we all fell back in gasps.

  We saw the blackened corner, dripping the horrifying black liquid that soaked all the way through. Becky’s mouth dripped black blood down her chin and she opened her mouth in a painful cry. Her tongue bubbled actively, black with a greenish froth oozing on top, and bubbled faster and faster as though it were boiling. Becky let out a powerful cry as we saw her tongue curl, and then shrink shorter and shorter. Before our eyes her tongue dissolved away thinner and thinner until it was as thin as a pencil.

  “Holy shit!” I exclaimed. “Go get Carol, hurry!”

  Kimberly and Holly took off in a flash while I helplessly stayed behind with Becky, grabbing a towel from her hamper and putting it on her mouth.

  “It’s okay, we’re getting you help!” I told her, her eyes so pathetically big and moist. “We’re going to get you to a hospital!”

  She opened her mouth, nothing more than a bowl of this tar-like acid. It spilled over her lips as she moved her mouth in attempt to talk.

  “What?” I started. “What is it?”

  Becky struggled to make words…any kind of words. Her eyes moved animatedly as though she were trying to talk to me through them.

  “What are you trying to say?”

  Becky cried again in frustration, her eyes crying tears and her mouth crying black in defeat.

  Chapter 22

  With Becky at the hospital most, if not all of the morning and afternoon, I sat in a quiet reverie replaying the night in my head. Carol came in and we were able to rush Becky to the hospital, where she stayed the night so doctors could perform tests on her to find out what happened. It was not the hot chocolate this time. I don’t even know if it was something she consumed at all. Now, I was really scared.

  Of course, it didn’t take long at all for this news to spread The Manor. Some were awake in the night once Becky was off to the hospital and saw the whole thing, whereas others just heard about it.

  “You should have seen it,” started Holly among a table of people. “It was like she had the bubonic plaque in her mouth! It was absolutely horrible!”

  “It was melting!” I added in. “We don’t even know anything about it or how it started because she couldn’t tell us. She looked like she was in so much pain and we couldn’t do anything about it.”

  “Shit,” I heard a voice behind me. I turned to see Damien coming into the lounge with some others. “What the hell happened?” He asked.

  “I don’t know!” I answered. “We still don’t know!”

  While Damien and I were in close proximity, we couldn’t exactly talk about it. By my body language I tried to tell him I wanted to talk more, and by his I knew he wanted to do the same.

  The other members around us expressed alarm and question, but we didn’t hear back all day, and the longer it took the harder it was to accept that Becky was okay. Before the sun even set for the evening and before anyone could make any dinner plans, Mitchell sent out an email calling a meeting that night for any and all members who might have ventured across campus for dinner. “Mandatory Meeting in the Lower Lounge tonight 8 P.M.” I put my phone down in frustration. Whatever was going on we were going to have to wait to find out Becky’s fate, if that was even what it was about. But if Mitchell knew then wouldn’t he have told us by now? What was going on? But this was now my chance.

  “Damien, want to head to the caf?”

  No, we weren’t hungry.

  “Yeah,” he said.

  It wasn’t safe to talk until we got out of the woods area. Although the trees covered our heads in protection it still felt somewhat suffocating, closing in on us.

  “I can’t even begin to tell you how fucked up that was.”

  “Her tongue shriveled up and melted off?!”

  “Yes. It dissolved away into nothing! Her entire mouth was burning like her saliva turned into acid. It came out of nowhere and it turned into this black, green boiling stuff that ate away in her mouth.”

  “Holy shit. And no one knows what the hell happened to her?”

  “No! She couldn’t talk, obviously, and now we are forced to just wait.”

  “Do you think Mitchell knows?”

  “Yeah, but Damien…” I looked around campus as we walked, burying my face in my scarf a little although not too many people were around. “Damien, I think that someone did this to her.”

  “How?”

  “I don’t know how, or even who. But I can’t shake it. I can’t shake anything she said.”

  “I can’t either. First Seth, then the tornado, then our ghosts free roaming, now this. Who or what is behind this? Is it us?”

  “It has something to do with The Manor. It is. It has to be. It’s got everything to do with the spirits that haunt the place. They’re evil spirits.”

  “The spirits,” Damien repeated, a hint of alarm in his voice.

  “They may be manipulating or controlling us and making things happen,” I suggested.

  “And Mitchell is the ringleader.”

  “He has to be. Unless he’s being controlled, too. And maybe the upperclassmen.”

  “Definitely. Do they even know they’re being controlled?”

  “Doubt it, but one thing’s for certain. We need to figure out how to fight the spirits and save everyone. Look, it’s not safe to talk, Damien. Look what happened to Becky. Something might happen to us if we are not careful.”

  “What are we supposed to do?”

  We were past the caf at this point. Walking into the building, we instead made our way to a set of couches underneath a flight of stairs.

  “Well,” I started. “We find out what is going on, what is causing it. We need to get in touch with…friendly spirits, if any.”

  “How?” asked Damien. “If the spirits are all evil they’ll try to stop us.”

  “Yeah,” I said. “We practically have nothing. But we have to look.”

  I looked at him, knowing how tired we both were. “There is something going on here, and the only way to reveal it and stop it is to stick around and…I hate to say it…play along and pretend to play dumb so nothing happens to us.”

  “Well, we are kind of involved now anyway. As soon as something happens I’m out of here and back at Best Western. How can we report this to the school?”

  “Oh yeah, right. Like they’ll believe campus ghost story crap.”

  “Well, we’ll need proof.”

  “A hell of a lot of proof,” I agreed. “Worst case scenario I’ll join you at the Best Western. But first, we get to the bottom of this…you in?”

  “Yeah,” he said, giving me his brave face. “I’m in.”

  “We can’t talk there. We have to play dumb and act like one of the drones.”

  A set of students walked down the stairs and went outside without even noticing us. I looked at my watch and back at Damien. “Do you want to eat?”

  ***

  After dinner the walk back to The Manor seemed like a suicide mission. Even though we had something to fear, we had worse to fear if we tried to rebel. We needed to keep a low profile for a while, and keep a strong hold on ourselves. Doing anything to stand out could cost us…everything. Damien stuck by me and kept his word.

  Once we got back Mitchell led everyone downstairs, all alert yet slightly nervous. There were no special candles, no beverages or snacks, mood music or black cloaks. This was not a ceremony, this was a talk.

  “My children, thank you for being so strong! I know you are all worried about one of our sisters Becky. I received word that she is doing all right! As you know she suffered a terrible fate. She was in the hospital all day and night being treated for a mystery disease. Doctors d
id everything they could for her. They saved her life, but they could not save her tongue or speech, which is now gone.”

  Some small gasps came from the group, but no one said anything.

  “Doctors do not know what happened. It is a form of a rare tongue disease, possibly a serious infection, but it is not contagious. Becky lost her tongue, now she can no longer speak. No one knows how this happened, it must have been in her for a long time and finally showed its ugly face. Perhaps it is an indication of Becky’s sins that she must now pay for…as she had a sharp and wandering tongue. Perhaps this is what happens when one tells lies and doesn’t listen to their Lights. Becky lost the gift of speech, now she has to rely on the power of her Light to do the speaking for her. Becky is strong, she has been born again, and she is coming back home to us tonight…coming back to live as a resident so she can be with her family. Let us welcome this strong spirit who overcame a deadly tongue!”

  Mitchell’s cell phone rang and he answered it, staying pleasant and calm. “Oh, wonderful! We’ve been so worried about her. Yes, bring her on in, we are all here waiting to welcome her home.” The minute he put his phone away and looked at all of us a slight cold breeze came through the air vents. That was what it felt like, but that wasn’t what it was.

  “Come, everyone. Let’s welcome back our sister that has suffered so much and like a phoenix, rose from the ashes.”

  We all rushed upstairs, myself going a bit faster than the others and Iris leading Seth with a smirk on her face. I kept my head down and avoided her gaze. I knew that she told Mitchell something about Becky, somehow, and she believed that Becky was a sinner who deserved to be punished. I stayed cool, more anxious to see how Becky was now. Carol led her in, and both were smiling pleasantly. We all greeted her, her closer friends hugging her and Carol keeping her hands on her shoulders. “Becky went through hell,” Carol said. “But she made it out and now she’s okay!”

  I ran up to Becky and squeezed her, dying to explode in the words running through my mind.

  “Are you okay? Does it hurt?” I asked her.

  Becky smiled at me a ghostly smile and shook her head, her eyes twinkling. I stared into them, hoping they would give me an answer or any answer at all. “Your…your tongue.”