Light Up My Life

by Winters, Bella

  Kayley grabbed a couple of beers from the fridge. She handed one of them to me. “I just don’t know if I should be doing this,” I said. “I feel like I’m leading him on.”

  “You aren’t. You discussed everything with him before this. You told him how you really feel. There is nothing left to talk about. Now, it’s just going with the flow. Why are you so scared of putting a label on something, or of doing something that could conceivably be labeled?”

  I sighed. “I don’t know. But it’s this weird fear, almost like shame, has me right by my throat and it won’t let go. No matter how hard I try, it just keeps messing with me. It’s constantly tapping me on the shoulder. Should I be doing this? Should I be thinking this? I don’t know if it will ever go away.”

  “That’s tough,” she replied. “You should just embrace it and realize it is a part of you. And then you can just tell it to go to hell. Ignore it and it will go away. Or it will just become a part of you. The best thing you can do is to do what you want to do without any regards to it. To overcome a fear, you have to constantly expose yourself to that fear until it no longer has any meaning to you.

  “I agree,” I said. “That’s why I think I’m going to go for this. I will still be afraid, because it is such an antithesis of what I told myself I was going to do with my life, but eventually I’m hoping it will be the right thing and then that fear and anxiety will go away.”

  “That’s right,” she replied.

  We turned on a funny movie and lost ourselves in it. As I watched and relaxed a bit, I thought about how bad the day actually was. I did not have a good day in the slightest. In fact, Jenna yelled at me all day and told me what a piece of crap I was right to my face. I was tempted to contact someone about this harassment. No one had a right to speak to me that way. As an employee I had some rights. But I knew that I would lose if I did go to the Better Business Bureau or contacted a lawyer about unfair employee treatment. I was hoping that maybe one of our clients would overhear and say something, but so far, they’d all been pretty tight lipped.

  I hated that job and I that stupid bitch. I’d nearly let her have it today. I was so close to telling her to go to hell. She needed to be told off and good, then she needed her damn head slapped off. That’s what she really needed. I wanted to be the one to do that to her so badly, but as of right now I was stuck.

  We finished the movie and I went to bed. As I got ready for bed, I realized that the one thing really keeping me going was the fact that I had softball tryouts in a few days. I felt I might actually have a shot at making the team. I’d been practicing when I could. Typically, I would get up early in the morning and I would go to the fields in the park near my place. There I would practice pitching into the backstop and hitting off the tea into the fence. I was getting the feel back for things, but I needed someone to really practice with if I was going to get my form back. I might not have that kind of time before the tryouts, though.

  I wondered if Lance would be interested in helping me. That could be a good possibility. He was athletic and I was sure he’d love to help me with anything I asked him too.

  Lance… I’d gone almost ten minutes without thinking about him. I was gushing so hard over this man. He was amazing and I couldn’t hide the fact that I wanted him more and more all the time. But I had to play it cool and just see how things moved along. I didn’t really know him yet. And I didn’t know quite yet how we would work as a couple.

  I laid down and closed my eyes, dreading the next day at work, but looking forward to the evening with Lance. Maybe a miracle would happen, and I could just drop this job soon. I needed a miracle alright.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Lance

  “Wow, that was amazing,” Kat said as she pushed herself back from the table.

  I smiled and poured her another glass of wine. “I’m glad you thought so.”

  “Where did you learn to cook like that?” she asked me.

  “I am actually self-taught. I picked it up during high school when I started playing competitive sports, and most notably started to do martial arts. I decided I needed to take much better care of my body and be careful about what I put in it, so I just started messing around in the kitchen bit. Technically, our personal chef Albert taught me a few basics, but my father put a stop to it because he didn’t want me to fancy any careers in the culinary arts.”

  “So, he would have been devastated if you’d wanted to be a chef?”

  “Oh, he would have gone ballistic. That’s just the way he is. He hates the fact I’m a firefighter, but at least it’s a masculine pursuit in his eyes. Being a chef, not so much.”

  “I see,” she said. “So, how has that been? Work hectic lately?”

  “Not too bad actually,” I replied. “I’ve been keeping myself pretty busy. Yesterday I had the day off, but I spent it being busy.”

  “Yeah, you were telling me about some of your interests and pursuits. That’s awesome. I don’t see how you find the time or the energy.”

  “Well, you have to make the time,” I said. “You have to feed your body right, exercise properly, rest well, and make sure you don’t let anyone, or anything waste your time. Life is far too short, and most people spend the majority of their time with people and things who waste it.”

  “That’s pretty insightful,” Kat said. “I like that philosophy.”

  It made me happy to hear that she thought I had something to say that would make her think a bit or look at life a different way. This was only because I had a way of spending far too much time inside of my own head. I often sat around when I was younger musing about things and just trying to wrap my head around how life worked, and how I could make mine better. I already decided at an early age that I did not need money to make me happy, but I now found it ironic that I was so upset by the prospect of not receiving my inheritance. Then again, that was more about the injustice of being cut out then it was about the actual money. Hell, I would probably give a lot of it to charity, or maybe use it to invest in some worthwhile startups and give some up-and-comers a chance to show the world what they could do.

  I wasn’t sure how to bring up this subject, but now that we’d eaten, I figure I might as well get it out of the way. “Would you like some ice cream for dessert? A sundae perhaps?”

  “How do you stay in such good shape eating ice cream?” she asked playfully.

  “Well, I work out a lot,” I said. “And it is low fat ice cream. A sweet treat that I only indulge in a few times a week.”

  “You’ve got to live a little bit, right?” she asked.

  “That’s right,” I replied.

  “Sure, I’ll have some. With fudge and whipped cream?”

  “Coming right up,” I said.

  I quickly prepared the desserts for us to enjoy. Then I sat down at the table beside her. She was such a joy to be around and I’d been able to think of almost nothing else but her and sex since our encounter the night before last.

  “This is delicious,” she said. “Are you sure it’s low fat?”

  “Yep. But it is not fat free. That’s the key. They’ve made great strides in healthier junk food options in recent years. Taking all the fat out of something would leave it tasting like a foot.”

  She laughed and snorted a little bit causing ice cream to slip out of her mouth. Kat was embarrassed and she quickly wiped at it. I had to chuckle alongside of her. This was hilarious and full of life. I was so attracted to her energy.

  “I’m sorry,” Kat said. “I didn’t think I had that much wine.”

  “You are fine. Everyone’s entitled to a mistake here and there. I won’t hold it against you,” I teased.

  “That’s a relief.”

  She smiled at me. Wow, what a smile. I loved to see her smiling. She was perfect, so perfect… I wanted to reach over right then and hold her in my arms. If I could have just told her then how much I was falling for her.

  It was a new experience for me. That type of love had never r
eally found me before. I was looking forward to experiencing whatever came next, but I had to be patient. And that was the biggest reason why what I was about to ask Kat was so difficult to get through.

  “Kat, there is something I need to ask you,” I said.

  She looked up from her ice cream and pushed it back from her so that she could give me her undivided attention. She had a little bit of whipped cream on her upper lip. I smiled and wiped it off with my napkin. She blushed. “Thanks. What is it you want to ask me?”

  “Um… I’m not sure how to ask this, but I wouldn’t do it if it wasn’t of the utmost importance to me.”

  She knew that this was serious, and her face now reflected this. Kat leaned in closer to me. “What is it? You can ask me. Just go ahead. It’s alright.”

  “My father has revised his will to cut me out of it,” I said.

  She gasped and covered her mouth. She was genuinely shocked. “I’m so sorry to hear that. Are you ok?”

  “Yeah, I’ll be fine. You see, he cut me out of the will, but there is way for me to get back into it.”

  “Ok. What do you have to do?” Kat asked. I could see the anticipation in her face.

  “I can get back in the will if I get married and have a child within the next three years.”

  Her mouth dropped open widely. Kat paused a moment and then shook her head. I wasn’t sure if she realized what I was really asking, or if she was just trying to get her head around it.

  “What are you going to do? That’s a bit bizarre, isn’t it? What did you tell him?” Kat asked. She was flabbergasted by what my father was asking of me. I was glad to know she felt the same way that I did.

  “I told him ok and then I left. We hadn’t even ordered our food yet. I had to get out of there. I was so pissed.”

  “I would have been, too. Bastard,” Kat said.

  I sighed heavily and leaned closer to her. “I want to do it.”

  She paused and stared at me. I could tell she was getting confused now.

  “Do what?” she asked.

  “That’s my inheritance. If my father said this is what I have to do to get it, then there is nothing else I can do, unless I just let it go.”

  “So, you are going to get married? To who…?” Kat asked. I saw her eyes growing wide and then a gasp rose in her throat as it donned on her what I was really asking her.

  “Yes,” I said. “I want it to be with you.”

  She was almost hyperventilating now with anxiety. I tried to calm her down by holding her hand, but she slipped away as she stood up. She ran a hand through her hair. “Do you realize what you are saying?”

  “I do,” I said. “I’ve thought long and hard about this. It makes sense.”

  “What makes sense? To ask me to marry you after only our second date?”

  “No, but this makes sense. I need to do this to get my inheritance. And I would gladly give you money for your troubles.”

  She stopped and looked at me. “You are serious? Are you really asking me this?”

  I took a deep breath and stared into her eyes. “Yes, I’m really asking you this.”

  “Wow…I can’t believe this…”

  “I realize this is a huge decision. And I don’t expect you to make it right now, but I want you to know I’m very serious.”

  “We barely know each other. I really like you and we are having a great thing starting now, but I don’t think this is a good idea.”

  I took my time in responding to her. I did not want to frighten her with this anymore than she already was. It was a lot to take in. I heard how crazy it sounded as it came out of my mouth. I hated that I was putting her in this position, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized that I loved the sound of her becoming my wife. It was a bit maddening. I did not want an actual wife, but when I thought about Kat, I could not get the image of her walking down the aisle in a beautiful wedding gown out of my head.

  “I know it’s a bad idea,” I said. “But we would not be married as far as being that far into our relationship goes. It would be more of a legality, just something on paper. That way my father would welcome me back into the will and I would get my money. And you would get yours.”

  “How much would I receive?”

  “I think twenty million dollars sounds fair, don’t you?”

  Her jaw practically fell on the floor. I stood to inherit almost three hundred million. I would probably give a hundred million to charity and then give her twenty million. After that I would still have far more than I’d ever need.

  “My God…” Kat said. I could see that the idea of that much money was irresistible, which was part of the reason I knew she would be up for this. It was an impossible offer to turn down. She would be set for life. Her future children would be set for life. As if reading my mind, she looked up at me and said, “But we are supposed to have a child as well?”

  I sighed. “Yes. We are. That is the stickiest part of this arrangement. I’ve thought about this and I was thinking that it’s the thing that makes this most difficult. Have you ever thought of having children?”

  “Um… well, yes. I do want children one day, but I never thought of it being through this sort of thing.”

  “Right,” I said. “I fully understand that and the spot I’m putting you in.”

  “Ok, well let me think about this for a few days,” she said.

  “Of course,” I replied. “I would expect nothing less. But I appreciate your consideration. You are an amazing woman to even do so.”

  “I do need the money and it isn’t right the way your father is trying to strong arm you. I can put myself in your shoes. I understand what you are going through.”

  I walked over and held her hand in mine. “Thanks. That means a lot to me. It is so helpful to have your support during a tough time.”

  She looked up at me and I saw the look of concern in her face. I leaned down and kissed her sweetly. Her soft lips caressed mine back and I felt my heart soaring. Tingles like I have never known echoed out from my lips heading right towards my heart.

  I was instantly hard. My cock was rubbing against my pants just aching to get out. I wanted to set it free and place it inside her beautiful body. It was all I’d been able to think about the past few days since our last encounter. Her mouth was so warm against mine, the flesh so soft on me, and her sweet, succulent tongue was probing the inside of my mouth now, caressing me lovingly and sensuously. All of this was cranking my engines even higher as I held her body in mine.

  Kat leaned back into me as I kissed her, her body getting warmer in my embrace, her curves beginning to undulate and move side to side. It felt beyond sweet and I was once again reminded of how emotional being with her made me feel. These feelings were not just physical. No, they were very much emotional and all of this was making me feel how much I could love this woman, how I could want this woman for real to be by my side forever, and how I did not want to grow old and alone like my father. He and my mother were on speaking terms, but they’d been separated years ago. She didn’t divorce him for some reason, mostly to spare him the pain of an expensive divorce. They had settled on some arrangement, but the fact that he wanted to chase skirt and never really settled down, had cost him so much in life.

  I didn’t want to end up that way and let the love of my life slip right through my fingertips. I wanted to love her and hold her. I wanted her to always look at me that way with those loving eyes. What had I been doing wrong in my life that I had missed out on so much? Or maybe, I had been waiting for Kat to come along. Yes, that had to be it… But now that I had her, I was not going to let her go.

  “Let’s go upstairs,” I suggested.

  Kat smiled and her eyes gave me the look that she wanted to devour me. And that was something I could handle.

  I led her upstairs and I closed the door behind us. Kat instantly took the initiative and was out of her dress within seconds. She was wearing a pair of sexy thong underwear and no bra. Wow, she looked a
mazing. I could not stop gawking at her as she stood there sexy and confident, staring at me and smiling.

  “Take it off,” Kat said.

  I didn’t waste a moment wondering what was going on. I just followed orders. I quickly removed my sports jacket, button up shirt, shoes, socks, and my pants. Then I yanked my boxer shorts down. I figured it had all taken about twenty seconds. I wanted to do it fast, but still look smooth. I think I pulled it off pretty well.

  My cock was sticking out from my body. I was already hard as a rock. I walked towards her stroking myself, really letting her have a good look at it. Her eyes were glued to my prick like a hawk. Yes, I loved the way she looked at me. She wanted me as badly as I wanted her. I was going to fill her sweet pussy with every single drop of cum I could summon forth from my probing cock. I hoped she was ready for it.

  “Oh, that looks delicious,” she said as I came forward.

  I slapped my palm with my dick. “Yeah? Would you like a good taste?”

  She giggled and slowly sat down on the edge of the bed. She was now at the perfect height. I walked slowly towards her and she grabbed my prick and pulled me the rest of the way out of impatience and total want. Kat opened her mouth and took me inside of her deeply. She felt so damn good. Wow… I could hardly breathe as I entered her hot mouth. Her teeth were already gripping me tightly, creating that snug fit that I so desperately craved. And then she was moving her head down on me, moving that mouth all the way down, really working that throat.

  “Fuck…”I moaned as she deep throated me. I’d rarely had a woman with her exceptional oral skills, perhaps never. She was amazing at what she did, the way she sucked me. It was like she knew exactly all the right buttons to push. And I loved every second of it. I couldn’t have instructed her even if I could really speak. She didn’t need it; she knew how to work my cock.

  I rocked my hips forward and watched my cock disappear between those sweet lips and into her wet, warm pool of spit inside of her mouth. The teeth were grazing and then releasing as if pulling me inside of her farther until I was at the end. Just when I thought she might start to choke on me, she went down even farther.