I just hoped by the time of the trail opening I’d be able to do that.
I was confused that Drew hadn’t mentioned her, a little hurt as well, but then again, I had kept a huge secret from him so perhaps I didn’t have any right to feel that way. I was disappointed too, I couldn’t deny it. It suggested that any moments I had thought Drew and I had shared had all been in my head. I was also a little worried for Izzy. I had no idea how this April would react to Drew having a daughter, and I really hoped it wouldn’t stop Drew and Izzy’s blossoming relationship in its tracks.
There wasn’t much time to keep thinking about it, thankfully. After a quick breakfast, we all headed outside into the garden. John, and all of the village helpers including Heather, arrived early to help us get the trail ready for its grand opening and check once again that everything was working perfectly. We knew the trail looked as good as we could make it, but everyone was nervous. We wanted people to turn up, to love it, and for it to do some good for the village, and we had no idea if we could pull that off.
I found my mum and Sally by the grotto, restringing a set of lights around the door that had moved in the breeze, Izzy barking orders at them. My phone vibrated in my pocket and when I saw Drew’s name on the screen, my pulse began to speed up instantly. I quickly handed my phone to Izzy. ‘It’s your dad,’ I said. She grabbed it eagerly, walking off to speak to him. I let out a sigh.
‘How was last night?’ Mum asked, noticing the look on my face.
‘We all had a lovely time.’
‘But?’ Sally prompted with a raised eyebrow.
‘But then Drew’s girlfriend turned up,’ I replied.
‘Girlfriend?!’ My mum and Sally said in unison, exchanging a look with one another.
I nodded. ‘Yep. They live together in Boston, apparently, and he hadn’t thought to tell us about her. She surprised him last night. God knows what she said when he told her about Izzy.’
‘Beth…’ Mum began, but then Izzy came back over, and she stopped speaking.
‘Dad wants to talk to you now,’ Izzy said, thrusting the phone at me. I looked at my mum who gave me a reassuring nod. I knew I couldn’t get through it with them all watching, so I took the phone and ducked inside the grotto with it.
‘Hello?’ I said, finally, leaning against the sleigh, which looked shiny after John had polished it the previous night.
‘Hi, I just want to say sorry again for your visit being cut short yesterday,’ Drew said in a low voice.
‘It was a surprise, I must admit,’ I replied, hoping that my voice didn’t break.
‘I know. I honestly didn’t think April would turn up like that. She had definitely decided not to come with me. Before I left Boston, things had been… difficult between us.’
‘It’s none of my business,’ I said, quickly, at the same time wishing he would tell me everything. I was dying to know what she had said when he had told her who Izzy was.
‘You must have wondered why I hadn’t mentioned her to you or to Izzy. I honestly thought that when I went back she wouldn’t be there. I really didn’t think—Oh, she’s coming downstairs,’ he said, breaking off abruptly.
‘You better go,’ I said, clutching the phone to my ear, wishing he would stay on there for the whole day.
‘I had a great time last night,’ he said in a low voice. ‘I wanted you to know that.’
‘Me too,’ I managed to whisper back.
‘I’m looking forward to tonight – seeing the trail and you guys.’
‘Us too.’
‘Would it be okay if April comes too? She’s dying to meet Izzy. She loves kids, so she was thrilled when I told her.’
I swallowed the lump in my throat. ‘Sure. I have to go now. Bye!’ I hung up before he could stop me. I closed my eyes for a moment. April was ‘thrilled’ about Izzy and would be at the trail opening. How was I supposed to act happy about that? Drew said that they had been close to splitting up but, suddenly, April had flown over, clearly to make sure that didn’t happen. But what did Drew really think about that? I wished I knew how he felt about her.
All I hoped was that April didn’t take Drew back to Boston with her any earlier than he had planned to go. I didn’t want Izzy to have to say goodbye to him any sooner. I tried not to let myself think about how I would feel saying goodbye.
I walked back out of the grotto, knowing there was still plenty to do; I wasn’t going to let them spoil the day.
‘Okay?’ Mum asked when she saw me.
‘Yep,’ I said, smiling at her. I was determined to be.
We ate an early dinner of stew and mash and then we all piled into our coats and headed outside. Darkness had fallen and the clear, crisp sky was dotted with a thousand stars. We all held torches to walk to the trail, which wouldn’t be lit up until everyone had arrived.
We decided in the end to make the trail free as Gran had bought most of what we needed, and the rest had been donated or lent to us by people in the village – it seemed the best way to draw as many people as possible to Glendale Hall and prove to the council our community spirit was well and truly alive.
Heather was the first to arrive with her dad, and they walked over to where we stood under the banner she had designed. ‘The driveway is already filling up,’ she said as she hugged me. ‘The whole of Glendale will be here tonight, I’m certain of it.’
‘Fingers crossed! Your banner looks so good.’
‘I had forgotten how much I love to draw. It’s been a long time.’
‘Same for me with gardening. This trail has been so much fun to work on.’ I was really proud of all we had achieved in such a short space of time. I looked at the trail ready and waiting for people to view them, and a shiver of excitement ran through me. More people joined us, and a large crowd started to build up. Pretty much the whole village was there. And then Mum nudged me and nodded in the direction of two men walking across the grass – it was Mr Murray from the council with another colleague. At least they had done as promised and had turned up. I just hoped they saw enough to change their minds about their plans for the village.
Once the crowd was large enough, Mum, Heather, Izzy, Sally, and I moved to the front, assembling ourselves together in a line. John went to the light switches, ready for his cue.
‘Thank you all for coming,’ Mum said, loudly drawing everyone’s attention to us. ‘This project has been a real labour of love for all of us. We wanted everyone to have a lovely evening when we created the trail but, as you know, what we wanted to do was to bring our village together again. This has been a real team effort – so much has been donated and so many people lent their time and expertise too. I’m so proud of how quickly we put this together and I really hope you will all love the finished product. Beth?’ She turned to me.
I hadn’t planned to say anything. I cleared my throat. ‘We know how much you all love living in Glendale. Coming back here, I’ve been reminded of just how special this place is. I really hope we can work together to make it a village to be proud of again.’ I glanced at the two men from the council and hoped that they felt the same. ‘I think it’s time we opened the first ever Glendale Christmas Trail, don’t you?’ There was a scattering of applause. ‘Okay then, let’s the start the countdown!’
Voices rang out in the silence loud and strong.
‘Five!’
‘Four!’
‘Three!’
‘Two!’
‘One!’
I found myself crossing my fingers as I turned around. The trail behind us burst into light. I breathed a big sigh of relief as a cheer went up from everyone. We stepped aside and watched as people entered the trail. I couldn’t help but hope as I saw their faces lit by the fairy lights that this might become an annual tradition.
‘I’m going to get your grandmother,’ Mum said then, heading back to the house. Gran had begged to be allowed to see the lights for herself, so we had got her a wheelchair and Mum was planning to push her down through the
trail. I was happy we had found a way to let her see it, particularly as she had funded so much of it.
‘This looks incredible,’ a warm voice said from behind us.
‘Dad!’ Izzy cried as we turned to see Drew, Rory and April walk over to us.
‘Hi, guys,’ Drew said with a warm smile. I couldn’t help but look at Drew’s hand entwined with April’s. My stomach lurched. I looked up slowly and found his gaze on me. I didn’t want to look at April at all, but the curiosity was too strong. She was as pretty as I had thought she was in the dim light outside his farmhouse – blonde, blue-eyed and tanned, with a dazzling, sparkling white smile. I felt dizzy all of a sudden. And then April had to drop her hand as Izzy launched at Drew and they shared a big hug. I hated that I was glad about that.
‘See how good it looks!’ Izzy said when she pulled back.
‘It does look great,’ Drew replied. ‘Iz, this is April – she’s my girlfriend from Boston,’ he said in his easy way.
‘Hi there, lovely, aren’t you gorgeous?’ April said, bending down a little to greet Izzy.
‘Hi,’ Izzy replied, stepping back towards me, a little unsure of this new woman in our lives. I put my hand on her shoulders to give her a squeeze.
‘Is Heather already here?’ Rory asked, straining to see behind me.
‘Yeah, she and her dad are walking the trail. You could catch them up though,’ I replied.
‘You wanna show us the trail? I can’t wait to see it!’ April said then to Izzy. She actually held out her hand and Izzy, with a brief glance up at me, stepped forward to take it. I tried not to let myself feel jealous, but it was hard not to when they all waved merrily and walked off towards the twinkling lights together.
Drew looked back at me for a moment, but I wasn’t sure what the expression on his face meant. I forced on a smile, and they faded away.
‘Beth, you look as if you have the whole world on your shoulders,’ Sally said, finding me then.
‘It just feels like so much is changing, so quickly. I certainly didn’t think Izzy would be spending Christmas Eve with her father when I came home.’
‘Things don’t always turn out how we plan but they also have a way of working themselves out,’ Sally replied. ‘Glendale needed you back. Look at what you’re doing for the village and for your family.’
‘I wish it was as easy to sort myself out,’ I said with a wry smile.
‘I used to tell you that you were too impulsive, that you just followed your heart and didn’t think enough about where it would lead you,’ Sally said. ‘But it sounds like you need to remember that girl. Sometimes we think too much when we’re older.’
‘I can’t believe you’re telling me to be more impulsive,’ I replied with a shake of my head. Sally was Mrs Sensible and had always been that way. I had always been the rebel of the family. But she was right: as you grew up, you tended to weigh things much more carefully. And usually that was a good thing, but perhaps, sometimes, you did just need to go with the flow.
‘Are you joining us, Beth?’ Gran called, as Mum wheeled her to the trail. I followed them, looking at Gran, whose eyes were wide, and then at my mum who was smiling. There was something about Christmas that brought out the child within us all.
It felt as if the three of us were getting a second chance. Just for one night, all our problems, Gran’s illness, our past, all the regrets, the lies and our worries about the future, could all be put aside as we disappeared into our winter wonderland if we let them.
Chapter Thirty-Four
Drew came to find me later. I was in the kitchen warming up with a cup of coffee. ‘There you are. I wanted to catch you before we head home,’ he said, appearing behind me and making me jump. I had been lost in thought, staring out at the garden, sipping my drink. ‘We all loved the trail. You have a real talent for making things beautiful,’ he said, his voice soft as he stood close by me. ‘You’re wearing it,’ he said, smiling, as he reached out to touch the necklace he had given me. I had taken my scarf off inside and the star and moon pendant sparkled in the kitchen light.
‘I promised you when you gave it to me that I always would. And then I left it in your car. I’ve missed it all these years.’ I looked away from him, not wanting to add that I had also missed him. The necklace reminded me of the two of us as teenagers, giddy with our young love, feeling like we had the whole world at our feet. I missed them. I had wanted to take it off when I saw April, but I knew that was just a knee-jerk, childish reaction. I kept it on to remind me of what we once had. It was clear now we would never get that back but maybe one day I’d find that kind of love again. It reminded me that I was capable of loving someone like that at least.
‘I hoped I would get it back to you one day. What’s wrong? You look sad, which is crazy, as tonight is going so well,’ he asked his eyes focused on me. He was always able to read me, which was kind of annoying, but I also liked that he hadn’t lost that ability.
I lifted my face and met his gaze again. ‘Just thinking about the future, I suppose. Our time here seems to be going by so quickly, but also so much is changing it’s hard to keep up with it all. I feel a little bit lost I think.’
‘I know what you mean. Before April came back, I was going to tell you guys that I have been offered another job. At the hospital in Inverness. It would mean I could finish my residency here in Scotland.’
‘Wow.’ I tried to ignore the fact my heart had sped up a little at the idea of Drew being so much closer than he currently was. ‘How do you feel about that?’
‘I don’t know. It was the reason that things were… tense… between April and me before I left. She was angry that I was even considering it. She believed our life was in Boston and pretty much said if I took the job then we were over. But I was thinking about Rory. If I was here, I could help with the farm, and I have missed Scotland, you know?’ I nodded; I felt the same. ‘But now April doesn’t seem so against the idea. That’s why she came to surprise me, to tell me that, and see Scotland for herself.’ Drew let out a heavy sigh, and then he turned to stare out into the garden as if it might hold the answer he was looking for. I wish it did for both of us. ‘And now I know about Izzy, well, that’s even more of an incentive. We have a lot to talk about, I guess.’
‘Have you two been together long?’ I asked, unsure what answer I was hoping for.
‘We met at university. She was the sister of my roommate Dan so the first day I moved in, she was there, but it was a while before we became a couple, and we’ve been together, on and off, since then. Things were so weird before I left, it’s hard to get my head around her being here, and her saying that we could move here and build a new life, have a future here… together.’
I didn’t like the idea of Drew building a future with April, but I couldn’t deny that Drew moving to Scotland would make Izzy incredibly happy, so I would have to deal with that, accept it and be happy about it, for her. I swallowed hard. ‘Izzy would love it if you moved back here,’ I said. ‘You know that.’
‘April already loves her, you know. They’re getting on like a house on fire. April can’t wait to have her own family,’ he replied, not realising how painful his words were for me. I looked away. ‘But how do you really know if you’re meant to be with someone forever?’
I shook my head. ‘If you ever work that out, please let me know.’
‘I knew once,’ he half whispered.
I couldn’t look at him. I touched the necklace around my neck. ‘Me too.’
‘Do you think?’ He coughed. ‘Do you think we would have lasted forever?’
‘There was a time when I was so sure of that.’ I dragged my eyes to his. He was standing so close to me, it felt if either one of us took just one step then our lips would meet. I wished he would, but I knew he wouldn’t. And that I couldn’t. ‘Sally just told me that I needed to follow my heart. I think that’s good advice.’
‘If only I knew what my heart wanted,’ he replied with a rueful smile.
I wished it did too if only to put me out of my agony.
‘There you are!’
We both jumped this time, and Drew quickly stepped back from me as we turned to see April walking in. It felt as if we had been caught doing something we shouldn’t have been.
‘I think it’s time to head off, Drew, we’ll have to be up early to get the turkey cooking,’ April said, smiling, but I saw her eyes flick between us uncertainly.
‘Of course,’ Drew said. He turned to me. ‘I’ll call Izzy tomorrow to wish her a merry Christmas, and we can arrange a time for me to see her?’ I nodded, not trusting myself to speak. ‘And congratulations again.’
I watched them walk out together, Drew’s arm resting on the small of April’s back as they left.
And I exhaled slowly, and shakily.
* * *
When I stepped outside again, my mum waved me over: I joined her and Mr Murray and was introduced to a Mr Tom Walker who was in the council’s finance office.
‘I’ve just been telling these gentlemen about all the people who are keen to open up businesses on the high street again. As they’ve seen tonight, the community here really wants to have a chance to rebuild the village together. I am, though, very worried about the high rents that are being charged.’ She gave them an arched look.
‘The problem is, I’m afraid, the need for distribution of resources,’ Mr Walker replied. ‘Although the rents may seem high, they are necessary to keep the buildings, which are very old, maintained, as well as the high street itself – the hanging baskets in the summer, the trees at Christmas, the road sweeping, the potholes etc. We have one pot that everything comes out of. Some of the rent money goes towards social care too, which as I’m sure you’re aware is costing more and more. For instance, if we decided not to sell to New Horizons and then also cut the rents, we would have to cut resources to other, perhaps, you could argue, more significant areas. I sympathise, I really do. I don’t want the high street to become flats, but we are running out of other options.’
Coming Home to Glendale Hall Page 18