Victory for the Ops Room Girls

by Vicki Beeby

  Jiří gazed at his hands in silence for several long seconds. Then he turned his pain-ravaged face to Milan. ‘When the war ends, will you come with me?’

  Milan nodded. ‘I will. We will leave no stone unturned until we have found our families.’

  Jiří grasped Milan’s hand. ‘You promise?’

  Milan couldn’t help a fleeting thought of Jess. What would she say to him leaving for Czechoslovakia at the earliest opportunity? While his common sense told him she would understand – she knew how it felt to fear for one’s family, after all – he wondered if she would wait for him if he left her for an unspecified length of time. Still, he had no choice. He needed to know what had happened to Eliška and Franta, and he would do all he could to help Jiří. ‘I promise,’ he said.

  It was only later that it occurred to him that he had, without realising it, pictured a future that didn’t lie in Czechoslovakia. A future with Jess in England. What would Jess think? She seemed fixed on acting, and now spent more time with Leonard Steele and her acting friends than she did with him. Even if she did choose him, how would he support her once he left the RAF? Before he had always pushed such thoughts out of his mind, not daring to believe he would survive the war. Now, as the Allies advanced ever closer to Berlin, he knew he could not put off such decisions for ever.

  He would request leave for the concert, he decided. He rarely took leave, having nowhere to spend it, so he doubted he would have trouble getting his request granted. He would use the occasion to try to work out whether he and Jess had a future.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Jess burst into the anteroom, carrying a large parcel which she had just collected from the post office. Seeing Evie and May in chairs beside the fire, she made a beeline for them. ‘It’s arrived!’ She put the parcel on the floor then dropped onto her knees on the rug and tugged at the twine that held the lid securely onto the box.

  ‘What is it?’ asked Evie, gazing curiously at the box.

  ‘A present from Mrs Grey.’

  May gave an excited squeal. ‘Is it what I think it is?’

  ‘I hope so.’

  Evie looked from May to Jess. ‘Are either of you going to let me in on your secret?’

  ‘Patience!’ Jess freed the last knot with a sigh of relief and unwound the string from the box. Then she eased off the lid. Inside was the dress they had made out of parachute silk for the pantomime. Jess had worn it when playing Cinderella.

  She held it up with a flourish for Evie to see. ‘You shall go to the ball, Evie Bishop! What do you think? We’re about the same size, so it should fit. There are several underskirts to make it stand out, but if you’d rather go for a sleeker look, we can remove them. That would give a load of fabric to make long sleeves.’

  Jess was gabbling rather, as Evie hadn’t said a word. Instead, her eyes had filled with tears. Jess gazed at her in dismay. ‘If you don’t like it, there’s so much spare fabric, we could make up a new dress to a completely different pattern.’

  Evie shook her head, pulled out her handkerchief and dabbed away the tears. ‘Don’t be silly. This is perfect. You’re a genius, Jess.’ She stood and took the dress from Jess, holding it up against herself. ‘I can’t believe this is really happening. I’m going to marry Alex!’

  She pulled Jess and May into a three-way hug. ‘Thank you both. I thought I was going to have to get married in my uniform.’

  ‘Well that would have been the something blue sorted,’ Jess said, hugging Evie back.

  Evie looked at the dress. ‘I suppose this would count both as the something old and the something borrowed.’

  ‘No, wait. Come upstairs. I’ve got the perfect something borrowed.’ Jess led them up to their room. She reached under the bed and pulled out the box containing the silver and gold peep-toe sandals Leo had given her. ‘Go on. Try these on with the dress. I want to see how they look together. Then we’ll decide on any alterations.’

  Evie stripped off her uniform and, with Jess and May’s help, eased the dress over her head. Jess pulled up the zip then stepped back to look. The sweetheart neckline and tight fitting bodice showed off Evie’s slender waist to perfection. Her red hair seemed to glow a deep bronze against the white parachute silk. The skirts billowed around her. Evie beamed at her friends in the mirror. ‘I don’t want you to change a thing. I really will feel like I’m marrying my Prince Charming now!’

  Evie’s feet were a little smaller than Jess’s, so the sandals, which had pinched Jess’s feet, fitted Evie perfectly.

  ‘You can keep them,’ Jess said. ‘They’ll never fit me properly. Then they can be the something old and the dress will be something borrowed.’

  ‘Are you sure?’ Evie raised the hem of the gown to admire the knotted gold and silver straps around her feet. ‘I can’t keep these.’ She met Jess’s gaze in the mirror and gave a wicked grin. ‘I’ll spend the whole day swooning over these instead of Alex.’

  Jess grinned back. ‘Seeing as every time you’re together, you usually trip over your own feet because you’re too busy gazing at him to look where you’re going, I’ll consider that an improvement.’

  ‘What about your something new?’ May asked.

  Evie sighed. ‘Unless I want to get married in my ancient WAAF blackouts, it’ll have to be new underwear. Goodness knows where I’ll find anything pretty.’

  ‘We’ll find something. Some of the shops are getting more things in from America now.’

  The dress had been made in a very short time; some of the seams had ripped and when Jess made Evie stand on a chair so she and May could inspect the hem, they noticed that the hem lay slightly lower on the left.

  ‘It didn’t matter in the pantomime,’ Jess said, taking a pincushion from her sewing box and pinning the hem. ‘No one would have been looking at it carefully enough to notice a crooked hem. There’s no way we’re going to let you walk down the aisle in a lopsided gown, though.’

  Finally, when they had made a note of everything that needed mending or adjusting, Evie removed the dress with a reluctant sigh. ‘I wish I could wear that all the time.’

  ‘It’d get in the way something terrible in the Filter Room,’ Jess told her, picturing the billowing skirts sweeping all the tracks from the table whenever Evie turned. She took out a large coat hanger from the wardrobe and used it to hang the gown on the back of the door.

  Evie sank on her bed looking suddenly wistful. ‘Alex has found a cottage to rent right here in Stanmore. I’m going to apply to live out.’

  ‘But that’s wonderful.’ May sat on the bed beside Evie. ‘There’s no reason you’d be turned down, is there? Why the long face?’

  Jess did her best to hide her feelings behind a smile while Evie seemed to grope for words. ‘It is wonderful. I can’t wait to show you the cottage. It’s beautiful. It’s one of the houses in the row at Little Common.’ Jess knew the houses Evie meant. They were more like part of a country village than a London suburb. The cottages were clustered around the edge of a pretty pond.

  Jess turned abruptly, making a show of straightening the gown on its hanger. She’d had plenty of time to get used to the idea of her friends marrying, but right now her throat ached, and she didn’t trust herself to speak without her voice cracking.

  Thankfully, Evie and May didn’t seem to have noticed anything wrong. ‘I suppose it’s all happening so fast,’ Evie said.

  Jess found the power to turn with what she hoped was a twinkling smile. ‘Fast? You’ve been engaged for years. I was beginning to think you didn’t want to get married.’

  As soon as she saw Evie’s expression, Jess wished she could take back her words. She had meant them to be gently teasing. Instead they had spat out like machine gun fire. She sighed and flopped onto her own bed. ‘I’m sorry. That came out all wrong. I’m happy for you, Evie. I really am. I just suppose I’m not quite ready to lose you.’

  ‘Lose me?’ Evie came to sit next to Jess. ‘Jessica Josephine Jane, that’s the mos
t ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard.’

  Despite herself, Jess felt a reluctant smile tug at the corner of her mouth. ‘I don’t suppose either of you are ever going to forget my full name, are you?’

  ‘No chance,’ Evie said. ‘But we promise only to use it when you’ve said or done something particularly thick-headed.’

  ‘That’s all the time, then,’ said Jess with a grimace. ‘There are times I really don’t know how either of you can put up with me.’

  Evie and May exchanged a worried glance. ‘What’s got into you?’ Evie took Jess’s hand. ‘Jess, you’re the truest friend anyone could have. You’ve stood with us through thick and thin. You don’t think either May or me are going to let that go after we get married? What kind of friends do you take us for?’

  Jess’s throat felt so thick she could scarcely force out the words. ‘You don’t know what I was like. Before the war.’ A strange buzzing sounded in her ears. She had put off this moment far too long, telling herself she could wait just another day and then another until weeks had passed since she had resolved to tell her friends the truth. But she couldn’t bear hearing Evie’s promise that nothing would change knowing that everything would change if only they knew.

  May leant forward, her face creased with concern. ‘We know what you’re like now and we love you for it. I don’t think you can have been much different before we knew you.’

  ‘And of course things will change,’ Evie went on with a nod to May, ‘but you don’t think we’re planning on leaving you behind, do you? I can’t imagine a life without you. It’s as unthinkable as a life without Alex or—’ she seemed to grope for another piece of her life she couldn’t bear to be without ‘—or maths,’ she finished with a triumphant smile.

  Despite herself, Jess snorted. ‘I’m flattered. Better not let your mum know she comes somewhere behind maths, though.’

  Evie eyed Jess keenly with a gaze that made Jess feel distinctly uncomfortable. ‘My mum knows she means the world to me. You, on the other hand, seem to be particularly dense this afternoon. What have I got to say to make you see sense?’

  Jess shrugged, unable to meet Evie’s eye. Her secret was a relentless pressure in her chest. She didn’t want to hide it from her friends any longer, yet neither could she bear the thought of losing them. Evie was still holding Jess’s hand and now she squeezed it. ‘I don’t know what more I can say. Except that if, once I’ve got my maths degree from Oxford and possibly a PhD as well, Alex and I decide to start a family, I can’t think of anyone I’d rather have for a godmother than you.’ She gave a little nod to May. ‘And May, of course, but she doesn’t seem to be suffering the same loss of sense as you today.’

  It was as though the effort of concealment had finally caught up with her. Her ears filled with a buzzing noise. This couldn’t be happening. She was Jess the flirt, the confident girl who always had a cheery quip on her lips and who breezed into a room bringing sparkle and glamour. She didn’t dissolve into tears when a friend told her how much her friendship meant.

  Unfortunately, her body didn’t seem to have got the message. She pulled her hand free from Evie’s and covered her face when her mouth started to quiver. Much to her horror, a sob welled up from her lungs and burst from her throat. The look of shock and dismay on Evie and May’s faces would have made her laugh if she wasn’t so busy trying to suppress the tears that now poured down her cheeks.

  ‘Jess, what on earth is the matter?’ Evie’s face creased with concern. ‘Is it Milan? Has something happened?’

  All Jess could do was shake her head, unable to get any words out through the sobs that heaved from her lungs. She took the handkerchief that May handed to her and wiped her eyes. It was May’s round-eyed look of fear that helped her control her breathing and force out a few words. ‘Milan’s fine. It’s me. You won’t want to be friends when you know.’

  ‘How can you say that?’ Evie rubbed Jess’s shoulders.

  There was no concealing it any longer. Evie and May had shown such confidence in her. She couldn’t let them go on believing a lie any longer. It took several minutes to control her sobs enough to get any coherent words out. In the meantime, Evie and May hovered over her, patting her shoulders in the same manner someone would approach an unexploded bomb.

  Finally she spoke. ‘I’m sorry I hid this from you.’ She blotted fresh tears with the hanky. ‘I know you won’t feel the same way about me when you know. And I won’t blame you.’

  ‘Know what?’ May asked.

  Jess drew a shaky breath. The only way to do it was get it out quickly. Milan hadn’t abandoned her, and she drew hope from that. ‘Hannah isn’t my cousin. She’s my daughter.’

  Evie and May exchanged glances again. Then Evie took Jess’s hand, still clenched around the handkerchief, and patted it. ‘We wondered how long it would take to get you to confess.’

  ‘I… what?’ If Evie had announced she was going to leave the WAAF to become a chimney sweep, Jess couldn’t have been more flummoxed. She looked from one to the other of her friends. ‘Didn’t you hear what I said?’

  Evie gave Jess what could only be described as a pitying look. ‘If you think we can be your closest friends for five years and not realise that you’re hiding what you regard as a deep, dark secret then you’re insulting our intelligence.’

  Jess gazed back uncomprehending. ‘You mean you already knew about Hannah?’

  ‘We weren’t certain, but we had a pretty good idea. It was clear you were avoiding taking us to meet your family, and it was also clear you were so ashamed about something you thought we’d leave you high and dry if we found out. It didn’t take much effort to work out what it was.’

  ‘If it’s any comfort, we weren’t sure until just now,’ May added.

  ‘I suppose you can tell me who the father is an’ all.’

  Evie said, ‘Seeing as you looked like you wanted to curl up in shame when you told us about Leo, I assume it’s him.’

  ‘Good grief, can’t a girl have any secrets?’ Jess could hardly take in what she was hearing. Ever since Leo had turned up, she had lived under a tremendous weight of dread that her friends would discover her secret and disown her. Now it turned out she was so transparent, everyone knew. ‘Why didn’t you say something?’

  ‘You seemed so ashamed. We thought you’d feel worse if you knew what we were thinking. Besides, we were just guessing. It’s not the kind of thing you ask a person.’

  ‘I suppose not.’ Jess studied her fingernails for a moment. Then: ‘And you still want to be my friend?’ She cringed at her tone. She sounded like a lonely child pleading to be playmates. Maybe it wasn’t much different.

  ‘Of course we do,’ May said. ‘I thought we were best friends. Best friends don’t abandon each other just because they made a mistake.’

  First Milan and now her friends. It seemed she had seriously underestimated them. Jess swallowed to ease her aching throat before saying, ‘Sorry for not having more faith in you. I just couldn’t face seeing the disgust in your eyes.’

  ‘It’s only natural to be afraid,’ Evie said.

  ‘Yeah, but it would have saved me a whole agony of worry.’

  ‘What about Milan. Have you told him?’

  Jess nodded. ‘I told him right after he hauled Vera and Hannah out of the wreckage. He was fine about it too.’ She dabbed the last of the tears from her cheeks with a shaky hand. If only she’d confided in Evie and May before, she’d have been saved all this dread.

  ‘That’s wonderful,’ May said. ‘There’s nothing to worry about.’

  Evie, however, was chewing her lower lip. She leaned closer to Jess, her expression serious. ‘Why do you keep seeing Leonard Steele? He’s bad news.’

  ‘How many times do I have to tell you? He can help my career.’

  Evie leaned back shaking her head. ‘I don’t buy it. You want to know what I think?’

  ‘Do I get a choice?’

  A ghost of a smile appeared on Evi
e’s face. ‘Not really.’ She looked away for a moment as though marshalling her thoughts, then took a breath and met Jess’s gaze. ‘Has it occurred to you that you are trying to punish yourself?’

  ‘Why on earth would I—?’

  Evie held up a hand to stop Jess’s protests. ‘Hear me out. You’ve got a wonderful chap who is crazy about you and, judging from the way your whole face seems to glow whenever he’s around, you’re head over heels in love with him. Yet, unaccountably, you keep him at arm’s length all the time you’re both at Amberton and give him the push for no real reason when you get transferred.’

  Jess shifted position while Evie spoke then shifted again. The mattress was lumpy, and she couldn’t seem to get comfortable. ‘You blew hot and cold with Alex,’ she couldn’t resist saying.

  ‘True. And I nearly lost him because of it. I’m trying to stop you from making the same mistake.’

  Jess could see nothing was going to stop Evie saying her piece. She might as well hear her out. ‘Go on, then.’ She knew she sounded like a petulant child; it was all she could do not to fold her arms and stick out her lower lip.

  ‘Very well.’ Evie gave Jess an understanding smile. For some reason it only served to annoy Jess more. ‘So you are free to spend time with as many men as you like during the four years you’re apart, yet although you go on a few dates, you never see any man more than two or three times. You never let them get serious about you because you know you could never regard them as anything other than a bit of fun to pass the time. You say it’s because you don’t want to get tied down. Whereas we—’ Evie inclined her head towards May ‘—know it’s because you can’t bear to spend too much time with any man who isn’t Milan.’