The First Queen: A Shifter Romance

by K. M. Carnoky

  “Do you know what it is about?”

  “No, but he would like to see you as soon as possible.” His eyes were honest and concerned when he peered down at me.

  “Very well then. Let's go now. I wouldn't want to keep him waiting,” I said as I stood up.

  James and I walked down the grand hallways in silence. I wanted to grill him about what the king wanted to see me for, but the pensive look on his face told me he was just as upset and confused as I was. The only sounds that we made were the soft scuffs of our shoes hitting the floor as we moved. When we reached the king's study, I paused in hesitation, not knowing what to expect in the slightest. I fiddled with my deep purple gown, trying to stall for time as I smoothed imaginary wrinkles.

  “Before you go in there, I just want to take a moment to say I’m sorry,” James whispered, unable to meet my eyes. “I should’ve trusted you, and I shouldn’t have followed orders so blindly. I understand if you aren’t ready to forgive me, but I just wanted you to know that I will always fight for you. No matter what happens in there, I will always be on your side from now on.”

  My guard was on my side once more. I had a protector again. And I had a friend.

  I just gave James a nod—not able to manage any words—took a deep breath, and pushed open the grand doors before I was overwhelmed with emotion.

  I had only been in the king's study once before when I had first arrived at the palace. It was where we had agreed upon the terms of our marriage. And, somehow, through the tension that I was feeling, I was still surprised by the intricate golden designs that laced the walls and the beautiful light fixtures that were hanging from the ceiling. The first time I had been in here I had counted all of the things that were worth more than my life, and it had been more than I would like to admit. But I was the queen this time; I would not be intimidated by objects.

  Now I quickly turned my attention to more pressing matters and just watched my husband pace around the room like an anxious caged animal.

  “Ah, Willow,” Archer said like he hadn't been expecting me. “Please.” He gestured for me to come closer. The doors were shut behind me with an impressive slam, sealing my presence in this room.

  I crept closer to him and to the desk where we had first discussed our marriage. And, there, on that stunning desk was a document that I had only seen once before but was seared into my memory. My stomach rolled at the sight of it. That document had trapped me here when all I had wanted was to run away. That document had forced me to go through with a bleak, loveless wedding. And that was the document that convinced me that only I could be queen.

  “Why have you called me here?” I demanded, stopping a few feet away from him.

  “I think that is time we make some changes,” he replied cryptically.

  I crossed my arms over my chest to hide my anxiety and to convey stubbornness and strength. “I see. You called me here to renegotiate the terms of our marriage.” The words came out as a hiss through tightly clenched teeth. “Well, I refuse to sign anything, Archer.”

  The king watched me for a moment. His dark eyes drifted over my face repeatedly, but I could sense that he was struggling to read what I was feeling. I didn’t even know what I was feeling. Eventually, he stepped away from me, moving towards his desk. When he grabbed the contract, I ticked my chin up, ready for a battle I most certainly could not win. But he didn't come back to me right away. In fact, he didn't even speak to me. He strode to the ornate fireplace where a small fire crackled away. And he tossed the carefully written contract into the flames. In an instant, those damning words were turned into nothing but ash.

  “What are you doing?” I demanded, feeling my anxiety elevate.

  Archer slowly turned back to face me, his expression somber. Those angry eyes had become so sad so quickly that it frightened me.

  “Things have to change, Willow. It has become infinitely clear to me that werewolves and humans can't coexist together. The first time I had been attacked by Ella's father, I had assumed it was because the change happened suddenly. I was a half-blooded ruler who could not choose sides, and both sides felt very unstable. I thought those feelings would pass. After the attack, I tried very hard to make sure both sides felt attended to. I didn't want another attempt at an uprising, and I hoped between my compassion and the defeat or surrender of those who had attacked me, humans would learn that fighting would only cause pain. I wanted the systems in place to work for both species. And it did for the werewolves. But, now, it has become tremendously clear that I cannot rein over humans and werewolves. I must pick a side. Similarly, I must pick a side with you because I cannot have a slave and a queen for a wife.”

  I wanted to weep. The stress that raced through my body made me want to pull at my hair so I would feel grounded or anything at all. But I just stood still and stared at my husband. I refused to show him weakness. I refused to let him see how much his simple words devastated my heart.

  “The contract has been destroyed,” Archer said, as if it wasn't clear, “You are no longer legally bound to me as the Queen, as my slave, or as my subject.” He took slow steps towards me. His expression was calm, but his chest was rising and falling too quickly, giving away his true emotions. “Things have to change, Willow. I have to make things right again.” His words sounded like he was trying to convince me of something I didn't believe.

  I had wanted this. I had wanted to be free of him so that I could go and live my life. I hadn't wanted to be married to a monster, and I had run away from him so I could be safe. He had been cruel at the beginning, distant afterwards, then awful towards the end. So why did I feel like falling to the floor and sobbing? Why did I feel like my heart was breaking in my chest? And why did I feel like I would never be able to fill the void he was creating in my chest?

  But it was Archer who slowly slid down onto one knee in front of me, his right hand digging in his pocket. He carefully retrieved a gold ring, holding it out to me between his thumb and his forefinger. A large diamond sparkled proudly in the center, surrounded by smaller pink gems that glowed in a halo, making the most precious flower I had ever seen. Delicate designs were etched along the sides, like small vines wrapped through the pristine gold. The ring spoke to me so much more deeply than the ring that had been stuck on my finger at my wedding. This ring had been made for me and me alone, and it was coming from someone who knew me well.

  “I will understand if you say no,” Archer began, his dark eyes locked on mine. “I know that I have not been a good husband or even a tolerable husband. But I love you. I love you more than I had ever thought possible. I was wrong to treat you the way I did. I do not want you to be bound to me by contract or law. I do not want you to be my slave or my subject. I want to be your husband. I want you to rule beside me as the first queen of the werewolves. And I want to love you the way I should’ve loved you all this time.” He swallowed hard, unable to make eye contact for a split second, but he raised his eyes back to mine. “Willow, will you be my wife? Will you marry me?”

  Chapter Forty-Eight

  “Oh Archer,” I breathed, staring at the beautiful ring that had clearly been made just for me. His words were so soft and tender. So heartfelt. And he said that he loved me, something he had never said before. My heart was fluttering away in my chest, delighted by his sweet confession. I had never felt so wanted and so cared for in my whole life. The contract that had broken my heart was nothing but ash now; those bitter labels had been abolished. I could be his wife, and he could be my husband.

  But I was still so hurt and bewildered by his behavior.

  I just stood there, my eyes moving between Archer and the ring he extended towards me with his trembling hand. I wanted to tell him that I couldn't marry him again. I couldn't go through a cold, unfeeling ceremony again, surrounded by people I didn't know. I wanted to be surrounded by those who loved me dearly—even if there wasn't many. I couldn't be with a man who only wanted me for the purpose of bearing a child, and I still didn't know
what would happen to me if I couldn't have a child with him. But I wanted to tell him ‘yes’ because there was no one else in this world that I would rather spend my life with, no matter what he had done or said to me. I would die for this man, and try as I might, I could never love a man—even one as sweet as Andrew—the same way I loved Archer. It was like he had been made for me.

  Archer studied me, those brown eyes moving over my face. He watched me open and close my mouth as I tried to answer him multiple times. And with every passing second, those eyes that were filled with such passion and love, slowly lowered, and the hand that was holding the ring dropped down in defeat. The ring disappeared into his pocket a second later.

  “I understand,” he whispered. But the broken sound of his voice told me that he didn't want to understand. “I have been an unworthy husband and a terrible mate.”

  “I want to,” I blurted, quickly reaching down and grabbing his quaking hand. “You have no idea how badly I want it. How badly I want you.” I couldn't stand seeing him so upset, no matter how he had alienated me.

  “So it's a 'yes'?” he asked, his face lighting up once more.

  It broke my heart, but I shook my head, staring down at my feet.

  Archer stood up, drawing my eyes upward as he moved slowly. There was still sadness in his features, but, now, there was something else as well. It was a look I had seen a hundred times before on the king. I would almost have to call it determination.

  “Tell me what you need, Willow,” he said with much resolve. “If you want the summer manor house I promised you, then it's yours. All the gold and jewels in the world are yours. I will have the best dress makers in the world come to our new palace. Jester will have the happiest life until the end of his days, and if you want a hundred horses, all you have to do is say it. I promise that you will never have to deal with another werewolf other than me if that's what's causing your hesitation. I will make sure all of your maids and guards are humans. If you want your old master hung then—”

  “Stop,” I interrupted, mortified at what he was about to say. “I don't care about any of those things. The last thing in the world I want is more diamonds and dresses. And I do not want revenge on anyone.” I took a deep breath to steady myself for the words that would be coming my way. “I just want you to tell me the truth, Archer. The whole truth. Then I can decide if I will have you as a husband.”

  Archer's expression shifted to one that I couldn't read, but he nodded his head in agreement rather quickly. His hand was still gripping my own tightly like it was a life line, but he slowly brought our bound hands to his lips, placing a tender kiss on the back of my hand. He then guided me over to an artfully crafted sofa and sat down.I sat beside him but made sure to keep some distance between us. I needed to think rationally, and his touch often impeded that.

  “You already know why I married Ella,” Archer began, his voice calculated, not filled with emotion like it had been when he asked me to marry him. “But I did lie to you. There was a war, and it was presumably as awful as you could imagine. I lost a lot of good men, but the humans lost more. I imagine it didn't affect you very much in the country, but it was bad and bloody. Unfortunately, I did not fight in it as I had been badly injured before.” The words sounded heavy on his chest, and he was unable to meet my eyes as he said them.

  I wanted to reach out and comfort him, but I resisted the urge by folding my hands in my lap.

  “Ella left me in the middle of the night, as you know. None of my guards claimed to have helped her, but I now know that that is a lie. I just trusted them too much to see it. There is no way that she could've escaped without a single soul seeing her. Matthew was my right-hand man. He knew every guard's schedule and had the power to dismiss them or give them early release from their duties. He was adored by everyone. No one would've thought twice about his orders, but it seems that his intentions weren't always pure, and he loved my first wife more than I did. He must've been the one who helped her run away, but he denied it time and time again. He was so upset about her absence, and I had trusted him so much.

  “Sadly, it seems that he has done much more than simply allowing my wife to slip away in the night. I think he also helped Ella's father enter the palace in the dead of night exactly a week after she had left. He made it into my bedroom before anyone knew he was in the palace. He nearly killed me. That silver blade had cut me open from my sternum down to my stomach. I nearly died right then and there. But James saved me. He heard my cries, disarmed Ella's father, and managed to get a doctor just fast enough to keep me from dying. It was a miracle I survived, but that didn’t stop the war from beginning.

  “A few months later, you came into my life. I know that I was not a good husband or even a decent one. I struggled with trusting my own emotions because I hadn't felt half as strongly about Ella, yet she had managed to hurt me quite badly. I was terrified of what my mate would do if things ended gravely. After Ella, I became angry and vengeful. A day with you, and I knew that I would be crushed if you ever left me. Still, I needed someone strong by my side to rule with me. Otherwise, I had to rule by myself so I forced the contract on you. I had to keep the humans scared to prevent another uprising, but that didn't seem to work, and neither did the contract. I should've trusted the mate process more heavily than I did,” he confessed.

  “But Ella was your mate too,” I protested.

  Archer's face showed how appalled he was by the idea. “My God, she was certainly not. There is only one person in this world that was designed for me, and it is you, Willow. You are the only mate I will ever have.”

  “But she told me . . .”

  “She lied. She didn't have a scar on her neck like you have on yours. I never marked her because it was pointless. It would only hurt her, not strengthen our bond. Not that there was any bond to strengthen in the first place. And, if she was my mate, I would assume that she wouldn't leave in the middle of the night, though you disproved that theory.”

  His joke fell flat.

  “But if I was made for you, why did you send me away?” I demanded, my voice breaking with hurt. I wanted to be strong and stoic—to just review the facts in front of me—but my emotions were getting the best of me. Obviously, the hurt I felt had only been repressed, not handled.

  “Oh God, Willow. I'm so sorry. I'm such a fool.” He groaned, dropping his head into his hands in shame and frustration. “I never thought you were a witch or an alchemist. I just let people overrule me when I was ill and . . . God, I'm sorry,” he blubbered.

  “I just want to know why,” I pressed, sniffling as I regained some of my composure.

  “Shortly after you arrived, I began feeling ill. I didn't think anything of it at first. It was just slight stomach pains every once in a while and a small wave of dizziness. But, every day, it got a little worse. In a few months, it was becoming noticeable but still bearable. I was sick, but not deathly so. I thought more sleep would cure it. My doctors could find nothing wrong with me so I didn't know what else to think. But it continued to progress, continued to get worse. After another month, I had a hard time getting out of bed in the mornings, and it was then that my doctors finally identified that some kinds of toxic plants were being mixed into my food. It was tasteless so I never noticed until it was too late.”

  “And you instantly thought it was me?” I whispered.

  “No. My first thought was to change the kitchen staff. There were only few people who were directly in contact with my food so I let them take something like a vacation. They were all given four weeks off. But I continued to grow more and more ill. The poison had been moved to my beverages instead. So I moved all of my guards around. Well, most of them. It didn't matter. I got worse. I ended up changing around the majority of the house staff, but nothing seemed to stop the awful concoction from ending up in my body, whether it was in my tea, in my food, or on my toothbrush. I thought there was no one else in the palace that could be doing this to me, but then my doctors were able to fi
gure out what the substance was.”

  “And somehow that pointed to me?”

  “It was a mix of rhubarb leaves, bulbs of Hyacinthus, and wild lily,” he stated, finally lifting his eyes to meet mine again.

  Honesty rang in every word he spoke, but it made my stomach sick to finally realize what he was saying.

  “But I used to grow those,” I whispered, stunned and mortified. “They were hard to grow because they aren't from this province, but people loved buying them at the fairs. I was the only girl in the village who could keep them alive until . . .”

  “I know,” Archer agreed. “Matthew informed me that he had done some digging on you, and your owner had confirmed it.”

  “Someone framed me,” I said in disbelief.

  “I didn't want to believe it. And I wouldn't have believed it, but Matthew told me I had to stay away from you, and my father supported his decision. You see, when a king becomes as ill as I was, he is no longer seen as a fit ruler so my father and my best guard seemed like the next feasible option to the royal court. Matthew convinced my father that you were the one who was trying to poison me as you were the only person who I had not moved around, and you were the only person that no one would expect it from. It started shortly after you arrived, and you knew where to get these plants and how to keep them alive. You bonded quickly with everyone; they all trusted and loved you. And they would all do anything for you. You were furious that I had taken you away from your life and treated you so badly. And you were human. You wanted me dead because you thought I was more beast than man. You just couldn't manage to stick the right dosage into anything without me managing to detect it. My father believed Matthew right away, and he overruled my defiance easily.”

  “That's not true,” I whispered, my voice coming out with a pitch of hysteria. “I would never do that to you, no matter how much I disliked you. And our relationship was just getting to a wonderful place when you started to get sick. All I wanted to do was make it better.”