Love's Fun

by Karen Deen

  “Do you trust me?” was all he said in a lower-than-normal deep voice. It was a very controlling tone yet not at all scary.

  “It’s not the trust that’s the issue. I don’t really have the right shoes for a walk in the bush.”

  “Oh, shit, sorry, Ally, I wasn’t even thinking about your shoes. I’m such an idiot. I just wanted to take you to the place that makes me feel myself, so we can talk.” Looking into his soulful eyes I feel like I would actually walk ten miles in these heels right now to get to this mystery place. It’s obviously important to him and I wonder if he has ever brought anyone else here with him.

  “It’s okay, I’ll try to manage. Is it very far in?” I mean, I’m only wearing a three-hundred-dollar pair of shoes. Lilly would be horrified that my shoes were about to go off-road. To her that’s the equivalent of taking your luxury car on a gravel road.

  “Really? It’s only a little way. I have an idea. Can you hold this for me?” He places the basket in my hand and before I have time to speak, I’m squealing. Xavier is lifting me into his arms and walking forward. I don’t know what to say or do.

  I’m so close to him. His strong arms are wrapped around me. I can smell his cologne, which I decide is my new most favourite smell in the world. I should be freaking out right about now, but for some strange reason, I’m not. My biggest fear is that he will hurt himself carrying my weight. I’m not small and I’m sure much heavier than he would have been expecting.

  “Xav, please put me down, you’ll hurt yourself, I’m too heavy. I’m not little like other girls, like Lilly.”

  “Stop that. I lift three to four times your weight every day in the gym. Stop putting yourself down, it pisses me off.” With that, he comes to a stop in a little clearing. Slowly lowering my feet to the ground, he turns me to be facing him with no space between us. His hand cups my cheek while his other hand is resting on my hip, holding me firmly in place.

  “You need to see what I see - a stunning woman who fascinates me with her inner beauty. It baffles me why you don’t see the same thing.” His thumb caresses my cheek slowly. Sliding down, tracing along my lips.

  It’s like my world has stopped.

  There is no sound in the trees, no breath in my lungs or function in my brain. I’m totally mesmerized by his touch. “I promise I am going to make you see how exquisite you are.” His head drops a little lower. I’m panicking on the inside that he will kiss me. What if he does and I can’t move to kiss him back? What if I suck at kissing? What if my breath stinks? Why am I such a nut job? Really, Alesha, just frigging kiss the guy. Stop thinking for once. I close my eyes, waiting for impact.

  Then nothing.

  Silence. No movement. What the hell?

  Then he whispers, “Not yet, Ally, but soon, I promise. We need to talk first.”

  My eyes snap open and I stumble a little. I’m so confused.

  10

  Xavier

  I STEP BACK SLOWLY and pick up the basket from her feet where it dropped. Taking her hand, I walk us towards the shaded area near the creek where there’s the big flat rock that acts like a seat. I lay out the blanket and lead her to sit. I sit down next to her, making sure I’m not too close but close enough. I feel her energy. My mind is a complete mess. I have no idea what’s going on. I want to kiss her so badly. But I’m scared if I do that she will panic and shutdown.

  “Ally. I know you must feel pretty confused right now. This is not how I wanted our getting to know each other to go. Not that I don’t want you here, that’s not what I mean. Jesus, I’m not starting this very well.” Running my hands through my hair I take a big deep breath. I can’t look her in the eyes, so I am focussing down towards the creek. The noise from the water bubbling over the rocks, never standing still, is surprisingly making the situation a little calmer for me.

  “It’s okay.” I feel her turn to look to me as I quietly try to get some confidence to continue. I need to work out what I want to say and how to make her understand what happened this morning.

  “I want you to believe me when I say, I meant every single word I said to you this morning. I like you, I want to get to know you and I will try never to hurt you. I can’t say that I won’t, anymore, because I already have. I’m sorry that Dana gave you the wrong impression. I have a feeling she did it deliberately. She’s a client who’s decided she has a thing for me, which is getting very awkward. She’s very clingy, but it’s hard to do much because she worries me. I think if I tell her to get lost, she’ll badmouth me and our business, all over town. We can’t afford for that to happen. So, I just keep her at bay and try to make sure she gets the picture, even if she’s a bit batshit crazy.” I take a breath and keep going before she has time to say a word.

  “I know you’re shy, and my stupid sister told you all sorts of crazy things about me, but don’t believe everything you hear. I’m not all what everyone thinks I am. You know how people gossip and love to think they know everything. I won’t lie, I have been a ladies’ man, including with the occasional client. Looking back on it now, I feel embarrassed by that. Meeting you is making me look at things differently all of a sudden. I know this is going to sound so cliché, but they were all a bit of fun and really meant nothing to me. It makes me sound like a jerk and it’s probably true to an extent, but it was always a mutual arrangement. I never led anyone on. To be honest, I became a bit of a trophy for the gym bunnies. It’s a status symbol to say they’ve slept with me. And to be truthful, I hate it, every single part of it.” I feel like I’m rambling. Totally not like me. I’m the smooth-talking guy who has women eating out of the palm of his hand after a few words. I’m so far out of my comfort zone because for once, the words need to mean something. She means something.

  “Why do you do it then? Why let them treat you like that?” Her sweet caring voice almost brings me undone.

  “When I was younger, I thought it was cool and felt like I was this legend. I played the part, so I’m just as much to blame. Lately, though, I want more than that, which has shocked me. I have never pictured settling down or wanting anything more than a one-night stand. Then you came out of nowhere, rocked me and made me sit up and take notice. That first night at the bar I couldn’t take my eyes off you.”

  “I noticed.” She giggles and blushes a little.

  “I tried not to embarrass you, but you captured my total attention. You’re nothing like any woman I have dated, I want to know everything there is to know about you. I can’t get you out of my head, Ally. In a few days you have totally consumed me. How did you do that?” I need to touch her. Sitting this close to her is making me twitchy. Sliding my hand slowly to the arch in her back and around her waist, I feel her tense a little and then slowly relax again.

  “I don’t understand what you see in me. Those other women are far more attractive than me and they are probably into all the things you’re into. I’m just plain old me, the nerdy girl who would rather curl up on the coach and read a book than hike ten miles.”

  “How do you know I don’t like that, too?” She starts to answer but I cut her off holding my finger up near her mouth. “You don’t because we don’t know each other yet. We don’t know our likes or dislikes. That’s why I wanted to talk to you today, just us on our own and away from everyone else. That’s why I brought you to my special place. Not even Nat knows about here. Just you.” I need to stop. Her face is telling me her head is spinning. I have overwhelmed her, something I was trying not to do, and then everything just came out.

  “Sorry, I just need a minute.” Ally gets up and starts pacing. Watching her, I can see her brain cells processing everything I’ve said.

  “I understand. I’m a lot to take in - the good, the bad and the stupid. Oh, and don’t forget the very funny part.” The pacing stops, and the giggling starts. It’s like heaven to my ears.

  “You really think you’re funny, don’t you?” She pauses. “I have no idea where to go from here.” Slowly she steps towards where I’m still sitt
ing, and I offer my hand as she gets closer.

  “How about we just sit and talk. That would be a good start. Maybe we can start again, at the very beginning, before I stuffed it up.”

  “Xavier, you didn’t stuff it up. Part of it’s me, too. My ridiculous shyness doesn’t help.”

  It’s like she has a permanent blush mark on her cheeks when I’m around. It’s a little cute, I’m not telling her that, though. I’ve already said way too much today. “Can we be friends and then see what happens?”

  “If that’s what you want, then happy days, I’m in. As long as I can still train you and Lilly. You don’t get out of that so easily.” I feel the tension starting to leave the conversation and my normal humour is returning. I just want her to keep smiling and agree to spend some time with me outside the gym as well.

  “Can we set up some time to spend together as friends? You know, to get to know each other. Coffee, lunches, dinners.”

  “They sound awfully like dates to me.” Ally is trying to scowl but the little raised corners of her mouth give away the hint of humour in her sentence.

  “They are. Friend dates. Merely for the purpose of having fun and getting to know each other. Proper dates are defined by the place you go, the fancy clothes you wear and the place you end up at the end of the night, or whose place, should I say.” That earned me a smack on the arm!

  “You’re incorrigible.” With that we both burst out laughing. She’s right. That’s me to a T.

  Once we settle down, I reach for the basket and check my watch. “We need to get you fed so you’re not late back to work. I wouldn’t want to upset that big scary brother of yours.”

  “Who, Luke? You should be more scared of Grant, he’s the badass. Not sure he would approve of me out to lunch with a male without a chaperone. I mean to say, you did tell me you have a bad reputation. That may not be acceptable to big brother.” Rolling her eyes tells me how frustrated she gets with Grant at times.

  “Little protective and overbearing, hey?”

  “You have no idea. It would be okay if I was sixteen instead of twenty-five. Not sure when he will ever let go and stop trying to be our father. Hopefully Zara will keep him so busy he won’t have time to worry about us.”

  “If she ever lets him in. That woman is hard as steel. Good luck to him, I say.” I love Zara, but she’s so focused on where she is heading, she might miss the one guy strong enough to be her equal. Time will tell.

  “What have you brought for us to eat? I’m starving. It’s been a very trying day so far. Some would say a bit of a rollercoaster.” I’m a little shocked how much she’s relaxing and talking. A few words were all she was managing to say to me this morning, sentences that didn’t even make sense; now, a fluent conversation, even with a hint of comedy. I never imagined this would happen. I still thought I would be grovelling for her to listen to me, let alone agree to see me again.

  “I didn’t know what you would prefer so I grabbed a chicken Caesar salad, a turkey sandwich, a roast beef bagel and a vegetarian salad. Take whatever you would like but if you don’t like any of those then I’m screwed,” I say, throwing my hands in the air.

  “I’m not a fussy eater. I grew up in a family of five kids and a father who wouldn’t let you leave the table until you had eaten what Mom served. I’ll eat pretty much anything, oh, except oysters. They’re so disgusting they’re like swallowing a mouthful of salt water. Urgh, no thank you.” This is what I’ve been hoping for.

  “Pity, they’re a great aphrodisiac,” I say, winking as I pass her the basket. “See? Now I can say we are officially on a friend date. I know one piece of information about what you dislike in life, that I didn’t know five minutes ago. To make us even, I hate artichokes. They are put on this earth to punish your taste buds.”

  “Guessing I won’t find any in the Caesar salad then.”

  “Fuck no.” We both smile and grab something to eat.

  While eating, we continue to chat about life growing up. Our families, where we lived, went to school, all the general bits of information you would know about a friend. I was conscious of the time and getting Ally back to her office, even though I could stay here all day. Unfortunately, I also have clients to train this afternoon and it wouldn’t be fair to leave them all to Natalie to handle on her own.

  “I don’t want to go but we both really need to get back to work. I’ll just pack everything back in the basket and then we can head back to the car. Ready to be carried again, Princess Alesha?”

  “No way. I’ll walk this time. You will break your back. I’ll survive.”

  “Not happening, you will break your ankle in those shoes. I’m not taking responsibility for injuring you, so you can then use as an excuse to pike out of the training sessions. Lilly will crucify me. Your sister’s scary, I can already tell that. Don’t mess with her where her sister is concerned.”

  “You’d think she’s the big sister the way she carries on. Sometimes I can’t move in my family from overbearing siblings.” Her voice goes a little higher as I whisk her off her feet again. The protesting starts again but not with much effort. I think she’s worked out she’s not going to win this argument no matter how hard she tries.

  It doesn’t take long for us to emerge from the bushes to the look of disgust from two old ladies who are walking in the park. I’m sure they had other ideas of what we’d been up to in the bush. I want to correct them, but I’m so used to owning what people assume so I smile and keep walking, still carrying Ally, much to her protest. I’m not giving up the extra time I get having her this close. I keep carrying her to my car to steal that little extra.

  “Why didn’t you put me down? I can walk, my legs are fine.” Placing her next to the car, making sure she is steady on her feet before I step back to open the door.

  “I’m not going to lie, I love the feel of you in my arms and I wanted to make it last as long as possible. Is that okay with you?” The look she gets on her face every time there’s a tough answer makes me smile. It’s like you can see the decision-making process happening in her head. Working out what to say and if she has enough confidence to answer me. She would never be able to tell a lie as her face would give her away. I can’t imagine Ally would ever be the sort of person to lie to anyone.

  “If I say yes, does this mean it is more than a friend date?”

  “Only if you want it to be, beautiful.” It’s my opening and I’m not letting it pass me by. Dropping down to her cheek, I give her a soft slow kiss. I want so much more but that’s a good start. The scent she’s wearing lingers with me. It defines her beauty. It is sweet yet subtle and not overpowering, just like her.

  “That is definitely blurring the lines of a friend date,” she whispers beside my ear as I pull back.

  “I’ve never been one to stay within the lines. I hope you don’t mind.”

  Shaking her head to indicate no is all I get. I pushed her back into the shy corner, but it was worth it. Next time, I’ll be tasting her lips and she’ll be moaning from enjoyment.

  I don’t need to say any more, just open the door for her and help her in. At least she’s smiling so I haven’t stepped too far over the line.

  The silence is back for the trip in the car. I’m determined to make sure it’s not like the trip here where not a word was spoken. I start to chat about my clients for the afternoon and what I have in store. Although Ally doesn’t say much, she is actively listening and seems to be interested. It takes no time at all before we are pulling up outside her office again. Opening her door, I go to follow her inside when she stops me with her hand on my arm.

  “Thank you for our friend date lunch. I enjoyed it all. Even the blurred-line part.” There’s that blush again. “I’ll see you on Wednesday morning for training. Are you picking me up?”

  “Wouldn’t miss it. Same time, same place. I was hoping to see you again before that, though, for another friend date perhaps? Maybe even just a coffee, if you are too busy for lunch. I think it
’s just like I mentioned with the training. We need to book in these dates, so we get to the level of friendship we are trying to achieve.”

  “Oh, my goodness, you are so full of it, aren’t you? Why can’t you just say you want to do coffee. Instead you just give me the whole story. You make me laugh.”

  “Better than making you cranky. Coffee date, tomorrow. Time?” I’m not giving up until she agrees.

  “Ok, ok, eleven tomorrow but just for a short one. I have work to do. Got it?” Oh, I’ve got it all right. Got it bad, actually.

  “Deal, see you here at eleven am. Now let me walk you to your office.”

  “No!” she yells a little too loudly. “Sorry, no thank you, I mean. I’m already going to be interrogated by Lilly, given crap from Luke. I don’t need to add any more fuel to their fire. That’s only two of my siblings. I’ll see you tomorrow, if that’s okay.” I really want to walk her up there, but I understand what she’s saying. It’s the sort of thing I would do to Nat as well.

  “Okay, but just this once. Tomorrow, it’s happening. I mean, I can’t have your dad saying I’m not a gentleman, now can I?”

  “Sure, whatever you say. Thanks again and I’ll see you tomorrow.” Wanting to kiss her again, I decide her hands are the safer option outside her office. Ally is not one I can imagine who will be in favour of big public displays of affection. Besides, we are supposed to be friends and I’m already pushing it past that on the first date. She’s kidding herself if she thinks this friend thing is going to last very long. I’ll be blurring the lines a little more every time I see her. Well, outside the gym anyway.

  My kiss earns me a little giggle and she’s gone through the sliding doors, leaving me standing there wondering where my life is heading. I bounce from day to day and it is freaking me out the sudden urge I’ve got to spend every available minute I can seeing Alesha. A smile dawns across my face when I think of her riding in the elevator upstairs freaking out. She is a planner and I am taking over her schedule. I’m surprised she didn’t want to check her diary just to fit in coffee.