No Shift, Sherlock: A Vampire Hunter Urban Fantasy Mystery (The Legend of Nyx Book 3)

by Theophilus Monroe

  "It can. He said we have to find something that pierced his flesh. A nail from the cross. The centurion's spear. Maybe a thorn from his crown. Something like that."

  Devin snorted. "So now we both have to locate this book..."

  "Scroll," I said. "Jesus told me it was a scroll, not a book."

  "Whatever. We have to find the grimoire and also some two-thousand-year-old relic that probably doesn't exist anyway?"

  "Pretty much," I said. "And since it's connected, we still have to find Amelia's killer."

  Devin snorted. "Why don't we just add the fountain of youth to the list while we're at it."

  "Honey, I am the fountain of youth. Come and get me."

  Devin smiled wide. "Tempting. Really, it is. But you know. The creature is awake."

  Devin glanced to his right. I followed his eyes. Malinda was standing there smirking.

  "Y'all are gross!" Malinda said.

  "Why do you say that?"

  "You're talking about making love in front of me! No one wants to think about their mom and dad doing that!"

  I rolled my eyes. "Well, we aren't your real mom and dad. Therefore, not gross."

  Malinda stared at me blankly. "Still gross."

  "How long were you standing there anyway?" I asked.

  Malinda shrugged. "Pretty much the whole time. So you're talking to Jesus now?"

  I sighed. "I don't know. It was a dream."

  "I get it. As a witch, I've had the Morrigan appear to me in dreams before."

  "Really?" I asked. "What did she tell you?"

  Malinda bit her lip. "Mostly happened when I was in the asylum. She told me to be patient. I still had a purpose. Some shit like that."

  "Language, Mal!"

  "Shut up, Nicky. You cuss all the time."

  "That's fucking different!" I said.

  Malinda giggled. "And how is that different?"

  I snorted. "It just is. And don't tell me to shut up."

  Malinda stared at me and smirked. "Shut up, Nicky."

  "See, now you're being a smart ass," Devin said. "We still have to talk about this man you've been seeing."

  "What's there to talk about?" Malinda asked. "He gets me smokes and drinks, and I flirt with him a little in exchange."

  "He gets you drinks, too?" I asked.

  Malinda bit the inside of her cheek. "Oops. I need to really learn to shut my mouth when I'm ahead."

  "Ya think?" Devin asked. "Even if what you're saying is true, Malinda. You're using him if you're not into him like he is into you."

  "So?" Malinda asked. "He's a dude. He likes to be used."

  "That's not always true," Devin said.

  "Are we going to skip past this whole alcohol thing? Yes, you're technically an adult, Mal. But you're not of drinking age yet."

  "It's only a cocktail here and there," Malinda said. "I'm not getting drunk or anything."

  "Just don't hide it from us, Malinda," Devin said. "I'd rather you be honest. If you want to drink, tell us. Make sure we know."

  "Excuse me?" I asked. "If minors are drinking in our club. And more than that, we're responsible for her."

  "You aren't responsible for me," Malinda said. "Like you said, you aren't really my mom."

  "Well, you're the one who wanted to call me that. I never asked for it."

  Malinda shrugged. "I figured if you're going to act like a mom, I might as well call you that. And Devin's the cool dad who trusts me enough to let me do the same things most the other girls my age do already."

  I glared at Devin. "You see what you've done? You've let me be the bad guy. Or girl. You know what I mean."

  "Bad, bad girl," Devin said, smirking. "Would you like to be punished?"

  "Oh my God!" Malinda said. "G.R.O.S.S. spells y'all nasty as fuck!"

  "No, it doesn't. You need to go back to school. Devin doesn't your community college have a G.E.D. program?"

  Devin nodded. "It does. And that's not a bad idea. I can take you today, Malinda. We'll get you enrolled."

  "I have physical therapy today!" Malinda said.

  "Yes, while I'm in class. We'll go early and enroll you before your therapy."

  "Damn!" Malinda said. "I thought you were the cool parent."

  "Going to school was Nicky's idea!" Devin said.

  "Hey! Not cool, Devin!" I protested, snapping my finger through the air.

  "Oh shit," Malinda said. "She finger snapped. You're in trouble now, Dad."

  "See," I said, firmly placing my hands on my hips. "She knows what is!"

  "So what are you going to do today," Devin said. "While we're doing all of that."

  I sighed. "First, I'm going to call Hailey. See if she can get me in touch with Cain. He's dealt with infernal objects. And he's the only person I know who was alive when Jesus was around. Maybe he'll know where we can find one of the relics we need to destroy the grimoire."

  "Good thinking," Devin said. "And you're still committed to the show tonight?"

  I nodded. "I still have a few questions to ask Joey. And the other girls."

  "The new girls?" Malinda asked.

  I nodded. "Amelia said something to Joey before she went outside. I want to know what it was. Probably nothing. But maybe it'll give us a clue. And the other girls were sitting there with Amelia when she started feeling ill. They might know more than they said. Since, you know, everyone was in quite the panic last night."

  "Sounds like a plan," Devin said. "If it's all the same, I think we'll skip the show tonight."

  "No!" Malinda said. "Connor will be there!"

  "Yeah, exactly," Devin said, grinning ear-to-ear.

  "See, now who's the bad guy?" I smirked.

  "You will be. Because I know when you see this Connor guy, you won't be able to keep your mouth shut."

  "Damn straight!" I said.

  "Please don't say anything to him!" Malinda said. "I promise I'll stop smoking."

  "Do you promise you'll stop talking to Connor?" I asked.

  Malinda grunted. "No."

  "Then he and I will definitely be having words."

  Malinda shook her head. "So embarrassing! Why can't you be my friend? The one who used to talk to me all the time at the asylum?"

  "Stop smoking, drinking, kissing married men, and blowing up blood bags in my office. You were easier to talk to back then."

  "Because I was catatonic? That's seriously fucked, Nicky!"

  "That's not what I meant," I said. "Look, Mal. I get it. You were robbed of your teenage years. Guess what, so was I. I didn't have a childhood at all. I just went from being what I was to being a grown-ass woman."

  "Cry me a river, Nicky. Or don't. If you did, it would feel like going home."

  I snorted. "I'm going to choose not to take that personally. Look, Mal. What I'm trying to say is I get it. I know you didn't have much in the way of parents."

  "Yeah. Understatement of the century. My parents murdered my friends."

  "I get that," I said. "I'm saying acting out isn't completely unexpected. I just don't want you to do anything you'll regret."

  "You've gotta live to learn," Malinda said. "Let me live!"

  I nodded. "I will. But when I see a train coming at you, I will pull you off the tracks."

  "You didn't have anyone doing that for you. When you became human."

  I chuckled. "Not true. I had Donnie. She taught me what it means to be trans. She showed me how the world works. If it wasn't for her, trust me, I never would have made it."

  Malinda sighed. "Alright. I get it. But could you try to, you know, ease up on the helicopter parenting a bit?"

  "How do you even know what that is?" I asked.

  "I googled overbearing moms. That's what came up."

  I laughed. "Alright, fair enough. I won't helicopter parent you. But I might bat-shift parent you a little."

  Malinda rolled her eyes. "Fine, but keep your distance. And don't guano all over my fun."

  I smiled. "I do have to talk to Connor. But I
promise I'll be cool about it, okay?"

  "Pinky swear?" Malinda extended her hand, pinky-finger extended.

  I hooked my pinky finger into hers. "Pinky swear. Totally cool. I'll be the coolest of cools ever."

  Malinda smiled. "By the way, Mom. Saying that? Totally not cool."

  Chapter Eleven

  I called Hailey. She was going to track down Cain. I gave Hailey the basic rundown of all that had happened. I told her about my dream. She and Annabelle, the Voodoo Queen, were doing research into the grimoire. And how to stop a legion of angels if, worst-case scenario, Mina got the scroll before I did. So far, they hadn't turned up much. But the notion the grimoire might not have been written by the Nazarene but was called as such since it was penned in his blood was something. She was going to run it by Annabelle and see if they could come up with anything. Meanwhile, I had to wait. Hailey was a vampire, after all, and she couldn't make the trek to Vilokan to find Cain until sunset. Hadn't thought of that. Should have. I'm a vampire hunter, after all. But Hailey was a friend. I hardly thought of her as a vampire at all. Shame on me for not thinking through the obvious.

  I decided to call Geraldo. Since he was dealing with a family emergency, I didn't want to be intrusive. Still, I wanted to offer moral support and let him know about everything that was happening. He probably wouldn't know anything, I figured, but since he worked there, I didn't want him coming back to discover all the shit that had hit the fan in his absence.

  Geraldo also didn't know about what I really was. He knew I was a trans woman. He just wasn't aware of what I used to be. He also didn't know my bat shifting trick wasn't really an illusion. He'd pressed me on it more than once, wanted to know how I did it, where I kept the bat when I wasn't on stage, things like that. All I could think to say was a magician never reveals her tricks. It didn't satisfy his curiosity. But we hadn't been back from New Orleans long anyway. As busy as things were at the club, he hadn't had much of a chance to press me on the matter further.

  "How's your mom doing, Geraldo?" I asked.

  There was a long silence on the phone. "She's dead, Nicky."

  "Oh my God! I'm so sorry!"

  "Happened the night before. I'm sorry it took me so long to call in. I just..."

  "No, I get it. Makes total sense. What happened, if you don't mind me asking?"

  "My mom came to the show Wednesday night. Her first time to see me on stage."

  "She did? I didn't know."

  Geraldo sighed. "She didn't want to make a big deal about it. She wanted to blend in, you know. The club wasn't exactly her scene."

  "I get that," I said.

  "Strangest thing," Geraldo said. "She was in excellent health. Not that old. She was only sixty, you know? But on the way home, she stopped breathing... and..."

  Geraldo was sobbing through the phone.

  "I'm so sorry."

  "Took her to the hospital. But we were too late. The thing is, the doctors couldn't find a damn thing wrong. They said it was like her heart just stopped beating. I guess it happens sometimes."

  I bit my lip. "There's something I need to tell you... it might only be a coincidence."

  "What is it?" Geraldo said, sniffing.

  "Last night, you know I was auditioning background singers, right? Well, I let one of them open up for me. And afterward, the same thing. She had a great performance. Brought the house down. She was fine. Better than fine. But then, she keeled over in the parking lot. No one knows why she suddenly died. The coroner hasn't examined her or anything. At least not that I'm aware of. But I'm not family, so I doubt they'll tell me what they find, if anything."

  "And you think it's connected?" Geraldo asked.

  "Like I said. I don't know. But maybe? They were both in the club."

  "Maybe a virus?" Geraldo asked.

  "I don't know. So far as I know, nothing like that has happened to anyone else who was at the shows on either night. It would be weird if a virus hit two separate people on different nights apart."

  "My mom had a drink. Did the girl have a drink, too? Maybe a poison in one of the liquors or something?"

  I sighed. "She did have a cocktail. But you know how much people drink. If there was poison, I'd still suspect there'd be more than two people affected."

  Geraldo sighed. "We're down in Joplin right now. For the funeral. It's where my dad was buried, and she wanted to be buried beside him. But I should be back in a few days."

  "Alright," I said. "Well, if the funeral home notices anything about her body, let me know. I assume it's too late for an autopsy."

  "I think so. We didn't order one. Damn. Maybe we should have. I never thought foul play, you know?"

  "I get it," I said. "Like you said, sometimes these things happen. It's sad. And I hope it was a coincidence. But in case it wasn't, I thought you should know."

  "Right," Geraldo said. "I'll ask the mortician. But you know, I don't know if they look for things like that, so I doubt anything will turn up."

  "I don't think so, either. I just wanted to call and check in on you. And to let you know what was going on."

  "Thanks, Nicky. One more thing. We should have a new shipment of booze arriving today around noon."

  "I'll throw out all the old bottles, just in case."

  "Exactly what I was thinking."

  "You hang in there, okay? Again, my condolences. I'm so sorry this happened."

  "Thank you for calling, Nicky. Means a lot. And like you said, I hope you're wrong. I really hope this was nothing but a regrettable coincidence."

  "Me too, Geraldo. You take care, alright?"

  "Yeah, you too."

  I hung up the phone and stared at my apartment wall for a minute in thought. It wasn't a coincidence. At least, I was about ninety percent sure it wasn't. And if that was the case, it meant I could narrow it down to people who'd been at the club both nights. I got dressed and left for the club. I wanted to check the video. To see what I could come up with. I could also cross-reference the ticket sales between both nights. I could significantly whittle down my list of suspects that way. Not to mention, I needed to get there by noon to let the delivery guy in with the new stock of booze. And, I had to dump any opened bottles we already had. I seriously doubted poisoning had anything to do with it. After what Brucie said about how Amelia's soul had left her body, and after seeing it happen on camera, I knew I was probably tossing good alcohol down the tubes.

  Still, it was something I could do. And since I told Geraldo I'd do it, I had to stick to my word. If he came back and saw old bottles there, it would look like I wasn't taking the only semi-rational explanation for what had happened seriously.

  I went into my office at Nicky's and opened my laptop. I pulled up the records of ticket sales from the two nights in question. How many people would come to see the same show two nights in a row? I knew there were some regulars. I saw them in my audience frequently. But even they weren't likely to come two nights in a row. A couple times a month, maybe. It would be odd for anyone to attend on consecutive nights.

  I exported my sales records into a spreadsheet. Didn't know how to use the damn program. A lot of buttons on the top of the screen that might as well have been hieroglyphics. Devin usually handled this kind of crap. Keeping records and whatnot. I did know that the spreadsheet could alphabetize things. I figured that would help me cross-reference the names.

  I had two spreadsheets open. I knew there was a way to move one column from one document into the other one. That kind of shit was beyond my pay grade. It took all I could to figure out how to highlight the column and alphabetize the names. Eventually, I figured it out.

  I checked the list twice. Sort of like Santa Claus. No matches. But two tickets were sold the night Geraldo's mom died to a name that did stand out. Someone I knew was there the night Amelia died: Katie Troyer. The redheaded singer.

  Surely not...

  But there was one more person I knew had been there two nights in a row. Someone who didn't buy tick
ets because someone had been giving them to him under the table.

  Connor. The guy Malinda was flirting with. If the guy was trying to get to me, somehow killing people in my club, what better way than to feign an interest in Malinda? The way she talked, I was sure she'd told him she lived with me.

  So much for pinky swearing I'd keep it cool. "Brucie," I called out.

  "Hey, Nyxie!" Brucie said, appearing out of thin air. I hated when he called me Nyxie. But I'd given up trying to convince him not to.

  "I think I have, like, three suspects. But there's one I'm especially suspicious of."

  "Gotta light?" Brucie asked.

  "You're smoking cigars every time I see you. You mean to tell me you don't have one yourself."

  "I do. But it got wet. You know, because I touched it."

  I snorted. I fiddled in my desk drawer and found a candle lighter. I lit it in front of Brucie as he lit his cigar, took a puff, and, of course, blew it right in my direction.

  I wafted my hand through the air to clear the smoke as I coughed. "Can't you turn your head or something when you blow that shit?"

  Brucie took another puff. Then he turned his face up and puffed out several donuts of smoke in a row.

  "Much better."

  "I just mastered that one last week. Pretty cool, eh?"

  "Yeah, it's awesome."

  "So who's the unlucky villain?" Brucie asked.

  I sighed. "Some guy named Connor. Malinda, the blood witch you met the other night. She's been flirting with him. But I think he's been using her to get close to me. Anyway, Geraldo, who performs as Gina, his mom was here the night before, and apparently, she died the same way. Suddenly. They couldn't explain it. Connor is one of a couple people who were there both nights."

  Brucie extended his hand, reached around into, well, what looked like nothing, but his hand disappeared into it. Like a little portal or something. He pulled out a half-empty bottle of Captain Morgan and took a swing. Then he burped.

  "I don't know how you can chug that stuff."

  "It makes me feel alive!"

  I chuckled. "You should be glad you don't have a liver. Or lungs."

  Brucie shrugged. "If I ever did have some, I don't know, that's for damn sure!"

  "So, we still don't know what creature could have done this. If it was a supernatural at all."