Sin of Silence (Sinner's Empire Book 1)

by Nikita Slater

  Shaun had a flashback to the shadowed woods where Jozef took her to end her life. Fatima had no idea how close Shaun had come to fulfilling Fatima’s nightmare.

  Fatima burst into tears which caused Shaun’s own tears to spill over. She cried freely as she listened to her mother’s sobs and tried to reassure her over and over. “They didn’t hurt me. They kidnapped me so I could treat a man who was injured. I saw too much though and they couldn’t let me go.”

  “You have to get out of there,” Fatima insisted. “I’m calling the consulate.”

  “Don’t!” Shaun said impatiently. “I’ll hang up and I really don’t want to. I want to stay on the phone with you for as long as I can.”

  “But why?” her mom said just as impatiently. “What’s going on? Are they holding you hostage? Do they want anything? We’ll pay it. Anything, I’ll find a way to get it. Your father had a lot of friends in high places. I’m sure we could scrape together as much as we need.”

  Shaun sighed and pulled her legs up, placing her head wearily on her knees.

  “No, they don’t want ransom.”

  “Then what? They have to want something, or why are they keeping you there?”

  Shaun thought about telling her mom about the engagement but decided to keep it to herself. As much as she wanted to talk to her mother about everything, she didn’t want Fatima worrying more than she already was. Finding out her daughter was about to be forcibly wedded to one of the most terrifying men in Europe might put Fatima over the edge.

  “I don’t know, mom. I guess they have to keep me since I saw their faces and know who they are.”

  “And you can’t tell me?” Fatima asked again, desperation in her voice.

  “I’m sorry,” Shaun whispered.

  There were a few seconds of silence and then Fatima said, her voice calmer, “No, I’m sorry, baby. I shouldn’t be trying to force information from you that you clearly can’t give. I’m just so grateful to hear your voice. It’s been hell. I haven’t slept in weeks.”

  Shaun nodded, though her mother couldn’t see it. “Me neither.”

  “Are they treating you okay?” Fatima asked helplessly.

  “Yes, please don’t worry about that. I’ve been assured that I won’t be harmed as long as I stay with them. In fact, I’m being treated more than fairly. They took me shopping to replace my clothes. I’m getting all my meals and then some. More than anything, I’m suffering from boredom. I’d kill for a surgery.”

  Again, Fatima paused as she digested what her daughter was telling her. “You’re not… are you… getting attached to these people?”

  “I don’t have Stockholm, if that’s what you’re thinking.” Shaun crossed her fingers in case she did actually have Stockholm Syndrome and was lying to her mother. “I’m just trying to make the best of a bad situation.”

  “Okay, but I don’t want you to ever forget that they killed somebody. No matter how kind they are to you now, they’re killers, Shaun. I feel like…” Fatima choked on her words and paused to take a few deep breathes and gather herself. “I feel like I just got you back after thinking you might be dead. I can’t handle knowing you’re alive and well somewhere, only to find out they killed you anyway. I know you can’t tell me much, but I promise you, Shaun, I will do everything I can to find out where you are. I swear to god, if they’ve harmed a single hair on your head, I will kill every last one of them with my bare hands.”

  Shaun choked back her tears as best she could as mama bear Fatima showed her claws. “Thank you,” she whispered.

  They remained silent for another minute as they tried to calm down enough to talk. It hit Shaun for the first time since getting on the phone with her mom that Fatima didn’t sound like she’d been asleep. It should be very early morning in Montréal.

  “Mom… where are you?”

  “I’m in Kiev. I got here a few days after you went missing.”

  She didn’t know why it hadn’t occurred to her before that Fatima would travel to where Shaun had gone missing. Shaun would have done the same if her mother had been kidnapped. It made her heart ache to know her mom was relatively close, less than a day’s drive away, yet they couldn’t see each other; might not ever be able to see each other again.

  “I’m sorry you’ve been put to so much trouble.”

  “Oh baby!” Fatima exclaimed. “There is no trouble. You are my one and only, I will do whatever it takes to get you back.”

  Shaun smiled and nodded. “Thank you, it feels good to hear that. Will you go back to Canada now that you know I’m okay?”

  “No,” Fatima said, her voice stern. “I’m not leaving without you. I promise, Shaun, I won’t stop looking. It’s only a matter of time.”

  “I’m scared for you,” Shaun admitted. “These people are unpredictable. As you know, they aren’t afraid to kill people they think are obstacles. I won’t be able to survive if anything happens to you.”

  “I feel the same about you.” Fatima sounded exhausted and Shaun regretted putting her 61-year-old mother through the strain. Fatima was healthy and strong, but she shouldn’t be spending her retirement searching all over the world for her grown daughter.

  “I’m so sorry about all this. I didn’t mean for any of it to happen.”

  “I know, baby,” Fatima assured her. “You’re doing everything right. You continue to give the people who took you what they want. I’ll find you, and when I do, we’ll go home together.”

  Shaun felt a wave of homesickness so strong she began silently crying again. She had to choke back tears as she said, “I want that so bad.”

  They continued to talk for several more minutes until a soft knock sounded on the closet door. Saskia opened the door a crack and peeked around, her concerned gaze on Shaun tear-soaked face. She whispered, “Jozef is asking the staff where you are.”

  Shaun nodded and said to her mom, “I have to go.”

  “Can you call me again?” Fatima asked sharply. “Is there a way for me to contact you?”

  Shaun looked at Saskia, who guessed at the question. She shook her head, her expression apologetic.

  “I can’t, mom,” Shaun said, despair leaking into her voice. “I’m always watched and even this one phone call puts the person who gave it to me at risk. I can’t do it again.”

  “I understand. You don’t stress about it, I’ll content myself with this conversation, with knowing you’re alive and healthy. It’s enough, for now.”

  Shaun realized how much it took for her mom to agree to no contact. Not that she had a choice, but Fatima could get quite vocal if she wanted something. She was trusting her daughter’s judgment in this. “I love you, mom.”

  “I love you too,” Fatima said, her voice strong despite the tears choking her. “I will keep looking for you. Never doubt it, baby.”

  They hung up.

  Overcome by emotion, Shaun curled onto her side on the floor of the closet and sobbed, her longing for her mother, for her home, so strong that she didn’t know how she would manage to get up again. To keep living. To walk out of the closet and go back to pretending everything was perfect in Wonderland.

  She felt movement beside her as Saskia sat down. After some hesitation Saskia’s hand came down on her shoulder and she patted Shaun awkwardly. As Shaun’s tears began to dissipate a tissue box landed on the floor in front of her nose.

  “Are you trying to comfort me?” Shaun reached for a tissue and blew her nose.

  Saskia looked sheepish. “Yeah, sort of. We’re not a really huggy family.”

  Shaun let out a watery laugh. “I found that out when your mom hugged me earlier.”

  “Oh, she’s the worst,” Saskia said with a quick grin and a fake shudder. “Like being hugged by the grim reaper. Creepy and boney, but weirdly comforting at the same time.”

  Though Shaun laughed at the assessment, she couldn’t help but agree. She pushed herself up on the carpet and sat next to Saskia, both of them with their backs pressed to the
chest of drawers.

  “Your mom was upset?” Saskia asked tentatively.

  “Yeah,” Shaun sighed.

  “Mine would be too.”

  They sat in companionable silence until Shaun’s tears stopped and she felt well enough to stand again. She handed the burner phone to the younger woman. “I don’t know how to thank you for this. If there’s anything I can ever do for you, I don’t want you to hesitate. I’ll do whatever I can.”

  Saskia nodded; her head tilted to the side thoughtfully. Then she handed the phone back to Shaun. “It can’t be traced back to me. You keep it… in case your mom tries to call back.”

  Shaun took the phone and held it to her chest. It meant a lot to her that Saskia was willing to make such a sacrifice. Saskia had to know that by giving the phone to Shaun, she was risking her entire family. Shaun could walk out of her suite and immediately call the police, bringing hell down on the Kobas.

  “Thank you,” Shaun said with heartfelt gratitude.

  Chapter Thirty-Six

  Jozef was in their suite when Shaun quietly opened the door and let herself inside. At first, he didn’t see her. He was sitting on the sofa, the TV blaring a music video. The lyrics for Journey’s "Don’t Stop Believin’" filling the apartment as Jozef tapped on his phone, texting someone. Shaun was surprised he enjoyed retro music. Based on the club, she would’ve pegged him as more of a DJ kind of guy.

  Shaun wasn’t ready for a confrontation with her intense captor, so she quietly closed the door and moved noiselessly toward the bedroom. It was a mistake. Something must’ve alerted Jozef to her presence because he was on his feet instantly with his gun in hand pointing it at her. Shaun made a terrified squeak and jumped away, bringing her arms up to protect herself, as if they could stop bullets.

  Once Jozef recognized her he put his gun back in the holster strapped to his chest.

  I’m sorry, I didn’t realize you were here, he signed, remorse bright in his eyes. I promised I wouldn’t point my gun at you and already I’ve broken this promise.

  Shaun believed he was truly regretful.

  It’s fine, you only startled me. She approached him slowly. The man looked incredibly good in casual clothes; a pair of jeans and a T-shirt with his leather jacket. I suppose you don’t like people creeping around behind you.

  He dipped his head in a nod, his lip quirking. Anyone trying to sneak up on me is usually trying to kill me.

  Shaun took another step closer to Jozef. Has that happened before?

  Yes.

  Jozef took the final steps between them, standing closer than a casual acquaintance would, but still not touching her. His gaze caressed her face, then dropped down her body. It wasn’t a particularly lascivious look, but the air around them began to feel heated and Shaun’s heart picked up in anticipation.

  Jozef lifted his hand slowly, as if trying not to startle her again. He brushed the backs of his fingers down her cheek. You’ve been crying.

  Shaun’s eyes widened. In her haste to get a little alone time after her call with her mother, she’d forgotten what a mess she must look like. She scrubbed her hands over her cheeks to erase the tear tracks. Jozef took her hands in his and gently lowered them.

  Why? he asked.

  Shaun glanced away, her gaze landing on the TV, which was now playing the music video for Blondie’s “Heart of Glass”. Despite the upbeat track, the atmosphere surrounding them had a distinctly intimate feel. When they communicated without speaking, it wrapped them in a silent bubble, one where they were the only two people in the world. Shaun felt as though she couldn’t lie to Jozef. She wasn’t sure why. After everything he’d put her through, she didn’t owe him her loyalty.

  Still, she wanted him to know. I miss my mom.

  Pain darkened his eyes and she realized he actually cared. He didn’t want her to feel the anguish of missing her mother. He shook his head as though he didn’t know what to say. Then he looked at her, his eyes blazing as though he’d made a decision.

  I will find a way for you to speak with her, at least send a message.

  Shaun was speechless. He was going back on his decision not to allow her a phone call. The moment was deeply significant. It felt like he was taking a major step toward trust. She knew it was stupid, but she wanted to trust him back. She felt like she had to tell him the truth.

  I already called her. She watched his face carefully as she told him.

  There was an instant blankness to his expression that told her he was shutting down their moment and she couldn’t stand it. She took the final step between them, leaving only a tiny space so she could sign to him. Please don’t be angry. I had to. It was killing her thinking I was dead. When he didn’t move, she added, think how your aunt would feel if she thought you were dead.

  When he didn’t respond, but still stared at her with his icy gaze, despair started to sink in. She’d been stupid tell him about the phone call. Of course he was going to be angry; she’d done something he'd expressively forbidden. Still, she hadn’t had a choice and if he couldn’t see that, then that was his problem.

  Shaun tried to step away from him, but he grabbed her arms and held her still. She stared up at him. Slowly he released her as though waiting to see if she would bolt. When she didn’t, he began signing. Your conversation has upset you. Tell me.

  He brushed his fingers down her cheek again.

  Shaun gave herself a brief moment to savour his gentle touch, closing her eyes and leaning into him, allowing his wildly masculine scent combined with a subtle and expensive aftershave to wash over her. She nodded her head and he cupped her cheek. Then he dropped his hand and took hers in a strong grip. He pulled her toward the couch, indicating she should sit with him.

  They sat facing each other, Shaun’s legs tucked cross-legged beneath her. He watched her steadily, giving her the chance to tell him about the conversation.

  Shaun began signing. It was bittersweet to hear her voice. I always miss her when I’m travelling but I’ve never felt this way before. As though I might not see her again. Our conversation had a desperation to it, like we were both saying goodbye in case it was the last time we talked. Tears began spilling from her lashes, but she kept signing, knowing her emotions were causing her to mix up the words, but not caring. Jozef would understand what she was trying to say. I can’t stand the thought that I might never see her again. She’s the most amazing woman and mom, and after my father passed, we leaned on each other. Now I need her more than ever and I can’t have her. It hurts so much.

  When she stopped signing, Jozef gave her a moment to compose herself. She used the edge of her sleeve to wipe the wetness from her cheeks. A hiccoughing sob jumped from her throat and out of her mouth. She covered it with her hand, while Jozef watched her with a warm glow in his eyes.

  When he'd made sure she was calm enough to watch, he spoke. I remember the sound of my mother’s voice. It’s the only thing I remember about her. His gaze was steady on hers and she understood that he was telling her something he’d probably never told anyone before. I can’t remember her face, or what her touch felt like, but I remember the sound of her voice. Not the words, just the sound. I think she used to like singing to me.

  Tears leapt to Shaun’s eyes, but this time for a different reason. Jozef could understand her pain because he’d been separated from his mother too. It was strange, having a moment of shared pain like this with her captor. He was the cause of her pain, yet he was also the one making her feel better. He wasn’t making false promises either, telling her she would see her mother one day. She respected him more for not lying to her.

  Fatima’s words about Stockholm floated through her brain but she shoved the thought aside. Even if she had Stockholm, she was helpless. She was navigating a new world with a new set of rules. Her old ones didn’t apply. If Stockholm helped get her through this nightmare, then so be it.

  Yet, as she looked at Jozef, she began to realize that she wasn’t living in a nightmare. Not really.
Sure, it was terrifying to be constantly surrounded by armed men, with the knowledge that one false move could get her killed, but she couldn’t exactly call her situation a nightmare. She was being waited on hand and foot, given anything her heart desired as long as it didn’t relate to her being set free. Although, none of those things really mattered to her, and she suspected she was going to become quickly bored with having such easy access to everything. It was Jozef who made her look forward to waking up each day, despite waking up in a mansion filled with intrigue and criminals. She could no longer deny it, she was falling for her darkly handsome kidnapper.

  Chapter Thirty-Seven

  Shaun reached out tentatively and touched the scar on his throat. “When did it happen?”

  He hesitated, as if deciding how to answer. She suspected this was a topic he didn’t enjoy talking about, which was why she hadn’t brought it up before. Now that he seemed more willing to share with her, she wanted to know about him. About the kinds of things that had shaped the man he was now.

  Finally, he told her, I was stabbed in the throat when I was seven. I don’t remember anything except waking up in the hospital with my aunt and uncle by my side. They told me my parents were both dead.

  Shaun frowned and scooted closer to him on the couch, leaning in to examine the scar. This close she wasn’t able to sign, so she whispered, “Whoever stabbed you would have damaged your trachea, causing vocal cord paralysis. This is why you can’t speak, isn’t it?”

  Shaun had suspected, but she hadn’t put a lot of thought into why Jozef communicated nonverbally. His lack of speech could have been something he was born with, completely unrelated to the knife to his throat, or it might have been psychological.

  Jozef nodded, his head brushing hers as she leaned in to look at him.

  “Whoever did this was either really bad at aiming, or they weren’t trying to kill you,” she murmured, almost to herself. “If I had to guess, I would say you were stabbed, straight in, straight out with a short blade. Your attacker was trying to damage your vocal cords.”