Dragon Hunted

by Haley Ryan

  And I could finally begin to imagine how much pain she must be hiding from all of us. How much anguish she’d carried alone for the last fifty years. She’d lost everything once, and now it must feel like she was about to lose it all over again.

  She didn’t have to lose me, but it might take time for her to see that. Time to get over the death of a friend. Time to grieve the loss of my childhood. And maybe she would never be able to love me. Maybe there were some losses that could never be gotten over. Moments we could never get back.

  But there were so many things I never intended to lose again.

  Without hesitation, I walked over to Callum, threw my arms around him, and cried into his shoulder. “Thank you,” I whispered. “I’m so sorry.”

  He held me long enough for my tears to subside, then I hugged Declan and Ryker.

  “I don’t know how I’m going to manage without you,” I said, between hiccups. “I’ve gotten used to having you around to frustrate me beyond all reason. Promise you’ll come visit?”

  “Oh, I think we’ll do better than that,” Ryker murmured, ruffling my hair in his most irritating manner. “But for right now, don’t you think you’d better chase down that boyfriend of yours before he flies off without you?”

  I finally gave in to the impulse that had plagued me since we first met and kicked him in the shin. With great care and affection, of course.

  “I think I can manage my own love life, thank you,” I said, but had to throw the words over my shoulder because I was already on my way out the door. “Just don’t make any wild decisions without me!”

  Eighteen

  I found Draven in his room, stuffing a bag with the last of his belongings. He didn’t turn around until it was full and zipped, and his face seemed closed off.

  “Time to tell me the truth, Draven.” There was no way I was letting him run away this easily. “Tell me what happened. I know there was more in that message than you admitted to my mother.”

  He wouldn’t meet my eyes. “Telling you won’t change what I have to do.”

  “I’m not asking you to change it. I’m asking you to let me in. Tell me what’s put that look on your face.”

  “What look?” His face was carved from granite, cold and implacable, his grey eyes flat and dead.

  “The one that says you’re about to rip your own heart out and suffer through it alone because you don’t want to hurt me.”

  “Kira.” Something was tearing him apart. “I can’t involve you in this. It isn’t safe. But I also can’t keep my promise not to leave you, and for that… I’m sorry. I hope you can wait for me, but I understand if it feels like I’ve betrayed you.”

  I wanted to make that look go away, but our relationship was too new, too fragile, and too uncertain for me to feel confident that I could. We’d barely even admitted to having feelings for each other, and now he was facing something deep and treacherous and painful.

  And he thought he was going to have to do it alone.

  “I don’t have a choice,” he went on. “I know this person who calls herself Morghaine has answers you need, but I don’t know if I’ll be able to get them for you. And I can’t wait for the dragons. If I do…”

  He stopped, like he’d been about to say something damning.

  “If you do, what, Draven?”

  His fists clenched at his sides. He was still afraid to tell me.

  And I wasn’t having it.

  So I walked up and grabbed his shirt front in my fist. “Draven Elduvar, this isn’t how relationships work!”

  He was startled into finally looking at me.

  “I get that this is new for both of us. We don’t even know whether it will work between us, but the first thing we need to clear up is that a relationship is never one-sided. You don’t just promise to be there for me and then go off and deal with your own issues by yourself. That kind of stoic, manly behavior is crap, and we’re not doing it.”

  His lips twitched a little, probably in spite of himself. “We’re not?”

  “Nope.”

  “Kira, you’ve been hurt enough by my family’s drama. How can I drag you into it again?”

  I leaned in closer and glared at him. “Because it’s my family’s drama too! How can you have missed the fact that a dragon has her fingerprints all over this mess?”

  His jaw clenched again, and he shut his eyes.

  “Elayara is going to kill Rath if I don’t take down Morghaine in the next ten days.”

  I sucked in a quick, shocked breath. “What? Why? He’s her son! And why does she care so much about whether Morghaine lives?”

  “Because Queen Elayara was in that plot up to her neck,” Draven said fiercely. “She and Llyr hatched it together. And she knows that Morghaine—or whoever is using that name—can betray her to the rest of the fae. Somehow, in my father’s grief over this betrayal, Elayara was able to overpower him and make him disappear, so now she can finally have what she’s always wanted. Play the grieving widow and take power for herself. But it won’t last long if anyone reveals her part in the plot, and she knows Rath is onto her. The only way she can keep the throne is to get rid of him. And Morghaine. So she came up with a plan to do both.”

  And in doing so, she had found the perfect way to put Draven through a hell with no escape. He was already conflicted about his father. Had never known for sure whether Dathair protected him because he cared for him or because he wanted to use him. And now, he might never have a chance to ask. The only member of his family Draven had a decent relationship with was his brother, but in order to save Rath, he would have to abandon hope of finding his father and do something that would likely get him killed.

  Which, I suddenly realized, was probably part of the plan. “From her perspective, this also takes care of you, doesn’t it?”

  He nodded silently.

  Either he would fail, and Morghaine would kill him, or he would succeed, and the dragons would come after him for killing one of their own. Both options left him dead, and therefore unable to tell anyone what he knew about the plot against Dathair.

  Elayara had planned for everything—which meant she probably also had a plan for me, and for everyone else who’d been there in Idria that day.

  Hugh.

  Faris.

  Wynter.

  Wait, Wynter?

  “Why did Wynter bring you the message? If Elayara is out to destroy all the witnesses, why did she trust someone who might know the truth?”

  “Because Wynter is a mercenary. My guess is, she’s been playing both sides.”

  “Do we trust her?”

  Draven shrugged. “I don’t have anyone else to trust. And she seems to have some interest in saving Rath, even if she only wants to save him so she can kick his ass for him.”

  I didn’t for one minute think the fae queen would let Wynter live, and the longer the mercenary played this dangerous game, the more jeopardy her life would be in.

  But that was true for all of us.

  “Draven.” I reached up tentatively to touch his cheek, forcing him to meet my eyes. “Don’t you see what’s happening here? We’re all a part of this. We have been ever since the beginning. You, me, Faris, Wynter, Rath. Even Morghaine. If we go our separate ways, Elayara will be able to pick us off one by one. None of us are going to be able to just sit on the sidelines, so why not do this together?”

  “I’ve always worked alone,” he said. “It’s easier that way. If I don’t have anyone close to me, they can’t get hurt. And Kira”—his hand came up to cover mine—“I don’t know how to stand by and watch you get hurt.”

  “Then don’t!” I said fiercely. “Fight with me. Fight beside me. Stand at my back, and we’ll do this together.”

  “I don’t know if I can,” he admitted, gripping my fingers tightly. “This bond… I don’t understand it yet. I only know that I have to protect you— that your life and safety are worth everything I have to give. And if you stay here, with your family, even if I’m n
ever allowed to return…”

  I finally understood.

  “You would rather give me up than see me hurt.”

  He shut his eyes. Nodded.

  I brought up my other hand to rest gently on his face. “Draven, look at me.”

  His eyes, when they opened, shone so brightly, I almost couldn’t hold them. “I’m not staying here,” I said plainly. “I’ve already decided. Maybe someday I’ll come back, but for now, this isn’t where I need to be.”

  “You’ll be hunted,” he reminded me. “It isn’t safe for you out there.”

  “I won’t live in a cage,” I said softly. “I need to understand who and what I am, and now I have another piece of that puzzle. I’m a dragon. A bronze dragon, and the daughter of the Queen of Dragons. And now that I know what that means, I have to decide what to do about it, and how it fits with the rest of my life. Because I’m also still just a girl who lives over a bookstore on Twenty-third Street. I don’t want to give up either part of my life, and I don’t know how to do both just yet. So I’m going home, no matter whether you choose to stay with me or not.”

  He smiled crookedly. “Still not doing things the easy way.”

  “Nope.” I smiled back, despite the pain that faced us both. “But I hope in the end I’ll do this in whatever way is most honest with myself.”

  “Kira, you’re the most honest person I know,” Draven said, finally reaching out and pulling me close. “Even when it’s infuriating, even when I don’t understand it, your honesty is one of the most courageous things about you, and I would never want to change it.”

  But then he paused, and I knew I wouldn’t like what he was about to say next.

  “So I’m going to be honest with you as well. Whether you stay here or not, I can’t take you with me. To find Morghaine… I’m going to have to go places and meet with people you should never come within a mile of. Not because you’re weak, or because I don’t trust you, but because…” I felt him swallow, heard his sigh. “Kira, it isn’t just the danger, though that’s a part of it. But you have no idea what kind of life I’ve lived. What kinds of things I’ve seen. Done. If you knew…”

  “It wouldn’t change my mind.”

  “But can you understand why I might not want you to see me that way?”

  I could. I didn’t want to admit it, but I understood his point. And I ached, knowing that there were parts of himself he felt he had to hide from me.

  Maybe he would always feel that way. And if he did, could we really make this thing work?

  He pulled back from me then, but held onto my arms.

  “That’s not all, and this part may be even harder for you to accept. My gryphon side…” His grip tightened. “I don’t understand it yet. All I know is, the longer we’re together, the closer we get, the stronger this bond becomes, and I don’t know if I can trust myself to control it. No one ever taught me what to expect, because they didn’t believe I was gryphon enough to experience it.”

  I heard the bitterness in that admission—the pain of being utterly rejected by his mother’s people while he was still only a child.

  “When I was younger, I both loathed the mate bond and longed for it. And hated myself for both. How could I not want to find a person to love so completely? And yet, how could I want to experience the very thing that killed my mother?”

  I was grateful for his honesty, but that didn’t take away the sting. Did he regret being tied to me this way?

  I pulled away from his hold.

  “Draven, if you don’t want this—”

  “No.” He didn’t even let me finish. “Kira, don’t mistake me. I tried to run from you, and realized not only that I couldn’t, but that I didn’t want to. Not ever again. But I also can’t ignore the danger.

  “What if I snap and kill someone by accident? What if I misjudge a friend and hurt them because they seem like a threat? I don’t think I can take that risk. I need to know more before my ignorance endangers you and the ones you love.”

  Whatever he was saying, it didn’t sound promising.

  “So, you’re saying we can’t be together until you have a chance to ask other gryphons how to control the mating bond?”

  His eyes gave me the answer his lips couldn’t.

  “And you won’t have that chance while you’re off chasing Morghaine. Trying to save Rath.”

  His chin dropped, like he couldn’t bring himself to look at me. “This mission is too important, and I…” He trailed off, running his hands through his hair in what looked like desperation. A frantic grasping for something he was afraid might already be lost.

  “You’re afraid you’ll be focused on me, and the mission will fail.”

  His head lifted suddenly, and when his eyes met mine, I saw despair. He believed I was going to reject him over this.

  “This bond is not a leash, Draven.” I tried to hold my voice steady and failed utterly. “And it’s not a chain. I won’t tie you to me. You have things you need to do, and so do I. Maybe we’ll be able to work this out, and maybe we won’t. Maybe there are obstacles we just won’t be able to overcome, but know this: you walking away from me now isn’t the end.”

  It was as if I’d finally found the key—the key to giving him hope. He’d been terrified of losing me, but prepared to do the right thing in spite of it. And somehow, he didn’t see how amazing that made him.

  So when he opened his arms again, I rushed into them and let myself sink into his chest, wrapping my arms around his neck and burying my face in his shoulder.

  I had no idea when I might see him again, and I didn’t want to forget how this felt.

  “So, what are you going to do?” I murmured into the fabric of his shirt.

  “Find Morghaine. Save Rath. Take down Elayara.”

  “By yourself?”

  After a long pause, I felt his sigh. “No. Even if I manage to find Morghaine, that will be the easy part. Rath will be well hidden and heavily guarded. And Elayara… Taking her down won’t be accomplished by fighting her. That can only be done politically, and I’m no match for her there.”

  “Promise me one thing,” I said, and I could tell he heard how serious I was because he went completely still. “Promise me that when you locate the dragon calling herself Morghaine, you’ll try to find a way for me to talk to her. Whoever she is.”

  “I don’t know if that will be possible, let alone safe,” he said finally. “But Kira, I know how important this is to you, so I will try.”

  And I had no doubt he would keep his word.

  Just as I had no doubt that I wouldn’t be sitting still, hoping he would find her for me.

  Draven might be afraid to endanger me by asking for help, but I wasn’t about to give up that easily. I had friends. Connections. And this time, I wasn’t going to be waiting around for someone else to make the decisions.

  There was a chance that I could find her first.

  “You know I can hear you planning to do something crazy,” he murmured into my hair.

  “Hey!” I protested. “I would never do anything crazy! Impulsive, maybe, but not crazy.”

  He pulled away from me a little and shook his head. “You’re willing to take a chance on a half-fae assassin who walked into your store and pretended to steal a book to get your attention. After that, I nearly got you killed at least three times, broke my promise and ignored you for months, tried to reject you because of your family, and then almost killed your brother because I was ignorant of my own magic. And now… I’m about to leave you again. So how is that not crazy?”

  I punched him in the ribs, fighting back tears. “No, I’m taking a chance on the man who helped me when no one else would. The one who believed in me when I was still hiding behind my ignorance and waiting for someone else to take care of me. And the one who risked everything to rescue me from a dying world when there was nothing in it for him.”

  He looked down with a wry smile that transformed his face—from the cool but handsome Draven I k
new, to completely stunning.

  “I don’t deserve you,” he said softly, brushing his calloused fingers across my cheek in a caress that left me breathless and melting.

  “Of course you don’t,” I said. “You deserve far more than I’ll ever be.”

  “More than a stubborn, brave, beautiful dragon princess who was willing to give up her crown for me?” He shook his head. “There is nothing more than that.”

  “I’m going to use that against you someday.”

  “I hope”—and I heard the fierce longing in his voice—“that you get the chance.”

  Then he cupped my jaw and kissed me, and I ached, because his kiss was perfect and because I knew it was goodbye.

  At least for now.

  “I need to go,” he said.

  “I know.”

  “But I’ll stay in touch as I can.”

  “You’d better.”

  “I won’t tell you to be safe.”

  After all, he was the one who dragged me out into the big, dangerous world in the first place.

  “Then you’re a better person than me,” I said, trying to sound more cheerful than I felt. “I’m going to demand that you exercise the utmost caution, because if you die, I will personally hunt you down and kill you again.”

  And I would. After I hunted down everyone responsible for hurting him.

  “Come back to me,” I said simply.

  “I’ll try.” He held my gaze for one last moment, and then he was gone.

  And I had no idea whether I would ever see him again.

  For a moment, I had no choice but to sit down on the bed, put my hands on my knees, and breathe through the pain of it.

  He’d really left me, and understanding his reasons didn’t make it hurt any less.

  I had to refocus. Had to remember what we were fighting for, and it wasn’t just for our future together. That might be a pretty big priority for me, but there was so much at stake for so many others.

  It was time to go home and make my own battle plans.

  I would need to pack. Hug my brothers. Say my goodbyes. Hope that I wasn’t cutting all ties with the people I would leave behind.