Broken Hero

by Olivia Hayle

  “Okay,” she murmurs. “Then I don’t regret it either.”

  “Good.”

  She shoots me a final smile. It’s a little shy. “Bye, Oliver.”

  “Bye, Lucy.”

  I watch as she climbs onto that deadly bike of hers—she stopped letting me give her a ride weeks ago—and disappears in the distance. I stand there for a long time, watching the dust rise from her tires and then settle.

  It’s not fair, what I do then. I know I’m a piece of shit for even contemplating it. But there’s just no other way to get rid of my impossible hard-on, and believe me, I’d tried reasoning with it before. But where Lucy is involved, it refuses to listen to logic of any kind.

  It’s basically soundproofed to facts.

  I head to the farmhouse and close the door to my bathroom. Making quick work of my jeans and my t-shirt, I turn on the shower head and fit my hand around my shaft. I’m already throbbing—I’ve been aching for release since she sat in my lap.

  Need is pounding through my hips, my pelvis, so strong I have to brace myself against the shower wall as I start to stroke. Images of her flash before my eyes. Bright eyes and tight shorts. I imagine sliding them down her hips, rewarded with the image of dainty underwear. I would slide her panties to the side and reveal the most beautiful pussy I’d ever laid eyes on. I don’t even have to see it to know that Lucy’s will take the prize.

  I grip my cock harder and imagine that it’s her gripping me, welcoming me into her slick warmth, that I can feel her soft body pressing against mine. Her breasts had been soft through the shirt, pressed against my chest.

  My balls ache and contract as need races through me. It’d been a long time since I’ve been this painfully hard.

  Lucy’s body would twist and twine underneath mine, soft and willing. I could practically see it. Hell, I still felt the softness of her lips on mine. My hand tightens and I’m pumping fast now. I should go slower, make my grip gentler, but I have no control. I need release.

  Fantasies dance before my eyes. Lucy in her soaked dress. Lucy in my arms. Lucy whispering my name. Lucy’s tight, sweet pussy accepting all of me.

  I groan loudly as tingles start at the base of my spine. Every part of me feels electrocuted. I come so hard I see stars, shooting ropes of cum. I watch as they’re washed down the drain. My legs are wobbly and my chest heaving as I give the sensitive head one final stroke.

  Fuck.

  She’s my employee, she’s so good, and so decidedly out of my league. She pulled away after I kissed her and she was clearly here to escape from something in her past. I know all of this.

  Still, I also know that the need I’d just released would return. I glance down at my sated cock, hanging thick between my thighs, and sigh.

  This feels doomed to become a daily routine.

  11

  Lucy

  My heart is pounding, and not just from the bike ride up to the Ranch.

  I want to see Oliver again. I know I shouldn’t—I know that starting something with him could jeopardize everything, my job here, my place in Claremont—but it’s impossible not to want him. I’ve been replaying the kiss over and over since yesterday.

  I’ve never been kissed like that before. It felt like I was all he wanted and all he needed. Like he’d rather die than stop for air. His hands on my waist had gripped and tugged, pulled me onto his lap—I’d been able to feel his hardness. Being in his arms had felt more right than anything had for months.

  A not so small part of me is angry that I pulled away. The other part likes to remind me of what happened at my old job, of the accusations of improper behavior. They hadn’t been true then, but if I started something with Oliver, they would be this time.

  You make an easy target if you sleep with the boss.

  That unfortunate fact remains true even if that boss is a hot-as-hell ranch owner with muscular arms and a crooked smile. Even if he has blue eyes and thick, golden hair.

  When my client propositioned him yesterday, I listened with bated breath to see if he took her up on the offer. A man who looks like that… but he hadn’t. He hadn’t seemed remotely interested and flat-out denied it when I tried to make a lame joke about it.

  Oliver’s pride seems unbending, and he’s a man of his word. I know enough about him to see the high standards he holds himself and the people around him accountable to. The man might be handsome as sin, but inside he was beautiful.

  Mandy and Sarah are already sitting on the porch when I arrive.

  "Hi, guys!"

  “Lucy, look!” Sarah does a 360 spin to show off her yoga pants. “I’m actually using them to do yoga in!”

  I laugh. “That’s great.”

  Mandy gets up from the chair and stretches. “You’re still coming to the fair tonight, right?”

  “Yep. I’ll actually be manning the bakery stand for a while, so you have to come by and buy some cookies.”

  She puts a hand on her chest. “It’s a tough job, but someone’s gotta do it.”

  They head down the porch and we walk together towards the spa. It's a beautiful day; a clear blue sky without a cloud in sight. The town fair, I had been told, was the pride and joy of Claremont’s social calendar. Every year the planning committee sought to top the one prior, and the entire town pulled together to make the day as special as possible.

  Sarah unlocks the door to the spa. “That’s why I'm doing yoga,” she says. “So I can eat your aunt’s cookies later.”

  Mandy laughs. “As if you wouldn't anyway.”

  Sarah pretends to look affronted. “Are you saying I can't control myself around baked goods?”

  “I'm saying you do what you want, when you want.”

  They unroll their mats, side by side, while I roll mine out in the front. It's been a long time since I've taught others. I might know the movements by heart, but I’m still happy we decided on running a trial class.

  Sarah sits down cross-legged on her mat. “Jack does say I lack impulse control.”

  “Is he bringing the kids tonight?”

  She nods. "They're so excited for it, it's like Christmas."

  “They love the merry-go-round, right?”

  “Oh, it’s their favorite.”

  “Nora barely spoke of anything else the last time I saw her,” Mandy says with a smile.

  I shake my head at them. “Are you guys ready to start?”

  “Yes. I’ve even turned off my phone,” Mandy confirms. “I’m ready for blast off.”

  Sarah rolls her eyes. “Dork.”

  It's so good to be back on the mat like this, to be stretching out and relaxing. The routine I’ve chosen is an easy one, with plenty of soft poses in between the difficult ones. I correct their downward dogs and remind them of their breathing. For a long while, we practice in blessed silence, nothing but the sound of our movements and slow breathing.

  It's nearly an hour and a half later when we finish with the last pose and just relax on the mats. The sound of birds and the hum of nature filters in from the meadow beyond, and the air smells of lemongrass from the essential oil burner.

  I’m entirely relaxed.

  Correction—I should be entirely relaxed.

  Because the calmer my mind gets, the more it drifts to Oliver's lips on mine. They tingle at the memory. I clench my hand into a fist and try to force the image of him to disappear. Relax. Don’t have R-rated fantasies of your boss.

  “Come on, you two,” I say, sitting up into a lotus position. “Time to slowly return to the real world, and to thank each other for the practice.”

  Sarah doesn't open her eyes. “But I'm finally relaxed. No dishes to do, no children climbing about.”

  I grin. “Come on.”

  “Just five more minutes?”

  Mandy and I pull her up into standing, laughing. “We have a fair to get ready for.”

  The midday sun is hot as we walk back along the gravel path. I’ve spent more time outside in the past few weeks than I did for yea
rs in Dallas, cooped up in dimly lit treatment rooms, and it shows. My skin is more tan, yes, but I feel much brighter. Funny that I never realized how much I missed the sun.

  Sarah shoots Mandy a sly look. “Is Logan coming to the fair tonight?”

  “I don’t know. You’d have to ask him.”

  I can clearly hear the tightness in her voice. “Maybe he will, if Oliver is going. Don’t they go way back?”

  Sarah nods. “Years and years. But Oliver isn’t coming. He’s a lost cause.”

  “Really? I thought that—“

  A car honks on the driveway, the motor idling.

  "Shoot, he's early." Mandy swings her bag up on her shoulder. "That's my brother. I'll head home and get ready. See you both at the fair?"

  “Text me when you get there.”

  Mandy takes off at a light jog and the car door slams behind her. I barely have time to see the driver before it takes off in a huff, dust rising from the dry gravel.

  Sarah shakes her head. "I do wish she and Logan worked out."

  “Do you know why they’re… the way they are?”

  “Something happened in the past.” Sarah waves a hand. “I’m sure they’ll get over it.”

  I think back to how some of my friends stood up for Kyle, despite what he’d done, just because of his high-paying job. “Sometimes the past matters.”

  Shrewd eyes look at me, and not for the first time, I get the feeling that under her bubbly facade Sarah is an excellent judge of character. “Yes, sometimes it does. The class you just led was fantastic, by the way.”

  “You think?”

  “Yes. This town won’t know what hit them.”

  My smile is entirely genuine. “That’s amazing. I’m excited to get started on flyers.”

  “And I’ll make sure to let people know tonight, too. Anyone who is anyone will be at the fair.”

  I push my hair back and try to keep my voice neutral. “But not Oliver?”

  She sighs. “No. I’ve tried to convince him for days, but he just says that it doesn’t interest him.”

  “Yeah, he’s not seen around town that often.”

  “He says he doesn’t like it anymore.” Sarah leans closer, her voice conspiratorial. “He used to be such a lively guy.”

  “Oh?”

  Sarah nods. “The life of the party. Sure, he was always a bit rough around the edges, but the whole town loved him. I used to be so envious of that, of his easy smiles and popularity.”

  I frown at the wistful way she’s describing him. “I think he’s still pretty lively.”

  “Oh, of course, Luce. I’m not trying to imply that my brother isn’t still a great guy. He is. The greatest. But something changed after he came back… he just wasn’t the same. Not as quick to laugh, or to smile. There's wariness in his eyes that I’m not sure will ever go away.”

  I think of the sly smile he’d shot me yesterday and how his entire being had seemed to relax out by the glen.

  I don’t for a second believe he’s a lost cause.

  “I think what’s been hardest on him has been this town. Everyone’s poking and prodding, you know?”

  “Nothing ever stays secret in Claremont.”

  “Exactly. And if you’re a private person…” Sarah shrugs. “That’s hard. Even now, on a Saturday, he’s working.”

  “Really?”

  “Yes. He’s up in that office right now, working away. I said hi earlier. I’m sorry, but I have to run. I have to go get the kids ready.” She rolls her eyes. “My youngest said she wanted to wear her swimsuit, so I’m probably looking at a thirty minute fight just to get her into anything else.”

  “Of course, go ahead. I’ll see you down there tonight.”

  “Do you want a ride?”

  "No, I borrowed my aunt's car today."

  “Right, well, see you later then.” Sarah waves and heads off towards her car, and before I have time to start towards mine, she’s fired up the engine.

  I glance back towards the big house. Working away, huh? I fumble with my car keys as she drives away, and just as she disappears from view, I turn and head back to the main house.

  My heart is beating fast. We haven't spoken since the kiss, not since I apologized and he asked me not to. His eyes had been soft, softer than I'd ever seen them before.

  I don’t know which Oliver I’ll encounter now. I don’t know if it’s the one who was so angry at me, Jack and Tim, or if it’s the one who shared his lunch with me behind his house. I don’t know what I’m going to say about the kiss. Great, Lucy, I think. I’m going in blind, but the desire to see him again is overwhelming.

  The door to his office is half-closed. I pause, suddenly remembering that I’m dressed in old yoga pants and a sweaty top. I’m not wearing a shred of make-up.

  “Sarah? Is that you?”

  I freeze in the hallway, caught between my desire to find a mirror and the draw of his deep voice. The latter wins. It wasn’t really a fair contest, anyway.

  I push open the door. “It’s me. Am I bothering you?”

  Oliver’s hair is messy and his green sweater is casual. He looks as if it’s his day off, like he’s not in armor, and my chest warms at the sight.

  “Hi,” he says. “I wasn’t expecting you.”

  I don’t miss how his eyes momentarily flick down my body. We’re both dressed down today, and there’s an unexpected intimacy in that. “I didn’t mean to barge in.”

  “You’re never a bother.” His eyes are dark and piercing, and I know he’s thinking about the exact same thing that I am. About our kiss yesterday. How close we had gotten, out there in the glen. I lean against the door frame, my mind blank.

  “I wanted to say thank you for yesterday.”

  “It was my pleasure. You’re a really good rider.” His smile is crooked. “Well, for a big city girl.”

  I raise my eyebrows. “Acton counts as big?”

  “It’s ten times the size of Claremont.”

  “It’s hard not to be. This town is so small that everyone knows one another’s zodiac signs.”

  He shakes his head, a smile hovering around the corners of his lips. “Not yours, though. No one knows quite what to think about you."

  “They’re getting to know me,” I say. “Slowly.”

  Oliver nods. “And I’m sure they like what they see.”

  I can’t help the smile that spreads across my face at the compliment, and it’s mirrored in the sparkle in his eyes. My stomach is a mess of nerves, of butterflies, of excitement.

  I want him to kiss me again.

  “So, the fair is tonight,” I say, running my hand along the door frame. “Apparently, the whole town is going to be there.”

  He frowns. “So I’ve heard, yes.”

  “Your sister told me you’d don’t usually go to things like that.”

  “To amusement fairs? No, there aren’t many in Claremont.”

  I shoot him a small smile, and I appreciate the effort of humor, but it's not what I meant. Oliver knows it too, because he glances away and sighs.

  “This town talks too much,” he says.

  “I’m with you on that one. I can’t imagine having been talked about for… five years?”

  He snorts. “Try all my life.”

  “Maybe their opinions don’t matter. Maybe it’s just background noise, you know,” I say. It’s still something I’m working on myself.

  His gaze grows thoughtful. “Maybe you’re right.”

  "I'll be there if you want to come." I smooth my hair back behind my ear, suddenly awkward. "So will Sarah. Just wanted to let you know…"

  “Thank you.”

  His eyes catch mine again, and I know he feels what I feel. The pull between us is as strong as it ever was. I want to come closer, to be welcomed into his arms again. To feel the heat of his lips against mine.

  My courage falters.

  “I hope I see you later,” I say, and head out of his office without waiting for a reply.

>   12

  Oliver

  Lucy leaves, and the ranch is all mine again. Quiet, and calm, and empty. I used to prefer it that way.

  I work for another couple of hours. There are always things to do around the place—orders to place and invoices to pay. Working at the computer had become a refuge, a way to shut myself into my office and away from questioning looks or social interaction. It's also a fucking bore. My body is used to manual labor, to walking for hours with heavy equipment and sleeping on the hard, bare ground. A screen is a paltry replacement.

  Shutting down my computer, I grab my toolbox from the cupboard and lock the door to my office. A habit, perhaps, but it’s a good one. People are far too trusting.

  A sharp ache shoots down my arm and I push a hand against my tense shoulder. Austin pads beside me as I head down the hall. I pass by paintings as familiar to me as the back of my own hand. Landscapes, placed in thick wooden frames. They’ve hung in this house for far longer than I've been alive. They're from my grandfather’s time, when he ran this place with an iron fist. When the family was still big and thriving.

  I stop at a gilded mirror at the end of the hall and run a hand across my face. The man staring back at me feels like a stranger. Too many sleepless nights and long days have left their mark.

  When I returned, I had a couple of sessions of therapy. It was mandated, yes, but it was also widely encouraged in my unit. None of us wanted to become a statistic.

  The therapist said a lot of things, but one thing in particular had stuck with me. You’ll feel like a ghost for a long time, Oliver, he’d said. But over time, the world will return to you in full colors. Let it take time.

  Maybe it would. Maybe it wouldn’t. But looking in that mirror, all I can see is a shadow of who I’d been. Once upon a time, I‘d run through this hallway, cousins in tow, struggling to stay upright when I turned the narrow corners. I'm not that boy anymore—not the same young man, either.

  And maybe it’s time I stopped hiding that.