THE MAN WHO HUNTED HIMSELF

by Lex Lander

  ‘This is for you. Just in case.’

  ‘Just in case of what?’

  ‘In case I’m, shall we say, incapacitated, and you have to beat off the two goons. We’re talking about self-defence here.’

  She shuddered and hugged her coat to her body, as if it were a bullet-proof vest.

  ‘You know how to handle guns, I’m thinking,’ I said.

  ‘Unfortunately, I already had occasion to demonstrate it to you.’

  ‘It’s loaded. I’m going to prime it.’ I operated the slide: clunk, clunk. ‘Now it’s ready to fire. The safety is on. It’s here.’ I tapped the safety with its prominent red dot. ‘Use your thumb to release it, like so.’ I demonstrated.

  ‘This is basic stuff,’ she said. ‘I learned it years ago, when I applied for my licence.’

  I shoved the gun back inside the spare compartment.

  ‘Excuse me for being over-protective.’

  ‘I love your being over-protective.’ She put her arms around my neck. Our noses almost touched. ‘Don’t ever stop.’

  The lovey-dovey stuff ended there, when the distant sound of an engine in low gear reached our ears.

  I looked past Maura towards the bend in the road, and sure enough, a tiny figure on a tiny cycle was bearing down on us. The Jeep was not yet in sight, but I had to assume it wouldn’t be far to the rear.

  ‘You know what to do,’ I said, and retrieved the Ithaca from behind the front seats. My parka pockets already contained another twenty shells. If I had to use them all, the damage to man and machine was going to be extensive. One last precaution. I took a roll of duct tape, lowered the rear hatch, taped over license plate, and raised the hatch again.

  Moving fast, I took up position at the front of the Audi, crouching below the level of the hood, and peered around the fender. Angelina was quite close now, already slowing, perhaps uncertain as to whether she should keep going or wait for the Jeep, which was just now rounding the bend.

  Maura chose that moment to hail her.

  ‘Hey, Angie, it’s me, Maura.’

  The family connection overcame her doubts, and she angled over to the Audi, a wide smile on her childlike-adult face.

  ‘Hi, Moya. What are you doing here?

  She didn’t dismount, but just came up alongside, at which point my view of her was blocked by the SUV. Bent double, I scuttled along the grassy verge beside the car, to emerge behind Maura. Angelina was standing with her bike between her legs, exchanging air kisses.

  When I popped up beside Angie she was totally unprepared and had barely reacted when I lifted her off the bike with one arm, and flung her into the open cargo compartment. Her bike toppled to the ground with a crash of metal meeting asphalt. She squealed, more surprise than hurt, then Maura was in there with her, sitting astride her, pinning her to the floor. As I slammed the hatch shut, I was aware of the Jeep accelerating towards us. I faced it, crouching to make myself a smaller target. The Ithaca levelled, safety off, finger around the trigger. Back in my element.

  The Jeep was less than fifty feet away, engine blaring. No gunfire from the bodyguards; they wouldn’t dare expose Angelina to flying bullets. No such issues for me. I loosed off all five rounds, starting with 00 grade, aiming for the front grill and the tyres. From under the hood came a muffled explosion; a tyre blew and the Jeep swerved, careering off the road into a clump of shrubs. A yell or two accompanied the accident, then all was quiet apart from the hiss of steam from the ruptured radiator.

  So far, nobody killed. Maura would be happy, and so would I if we escaped that lightly. Time was pressing. The two bodyguards would be back in action as soon as they could get out of the car. I had an unloaded shotgun, but the other priority was greater – subduing Angelina.

  Maura was on top, in both senses, but unable to overpower the spitting, struggling kidnappee. I joined them in the cargo compartment, grabbed a roll of duct tape, and secured the girl’s ankles. That put a stop to the kicking. With Maura holding on to her arms, I wound another strip around her wrists. From then on, I was able to leave it to Maura while I got us the hell out of there.

  I made it to the driving seat without going outside. In the door mirror, I saw one of the bodyguards stagger into the road, blood on his forehead, toting a handgun. As I piled on the gas, I heard a shot. It went nowhere near us. He was just making a noise for noise’s sake.

  That Audi could really move. We were doing 100kph in a matter of seconds, bouncing a bit on the rough surface.

  ‘How’s it going?’ I shouted over my shoulder to Maura.

  ‘I think we’re good,’ she came back, accompanied by a ‘Fuck you!’ from the captive.

  Worse language followed, only to be cut off in mid-expletive.

  ‘Duct tape makes a great gag,’ Maura called out.

  I had to laugh.

  Our first stopping place was the Sleazy Motel to collect our luggage. Maura did the packing while I babysat our prisoner, who tried to make enough noise to attract someone’s attention, but no one was around to hear.

  The account had been settled in advance. After loading the luggage on the back seat, we set off on Route 101.

  ‘Where to now?’ Maura asked, as she fastened her seat belt.

  ‘Santa Barbara.’

  ‘For my plane?’

  ‘To be near it, yes. We’re not going anywhere far away just yet. We need to rent a house for a month, somewhere relatively isolated in case of rowdy guests.’

  ‘A month sounds like a long time.’

  Her hand had sidled onto my thigh. It was a hell of a distraction. I didn’t remove it though.

  ‘We won’t need the whole month, or anything like it,’ I said. ‘I just don’t want to feel under pressure if negotiations drag on.’

  ‘It’s too late to try and find somewhere this late in the day. All the agencies will be closed when we get there. Maybe we should have stayed another night at the motel.’

  ‘Not a chance. I’m allergic to bed bugs. Not only that, but they know the car now, whereas they didn’t before. Don’t forget they have Gratrix on the payroll. He can get cars tracked just by picking up the phone.’ I wished her hand would stop roaming around. ‘Switching cars would be difficult with Angie in the back.’

  We passed the town limit sign for Pismo Beach. Traffic was building up. In the gathering dusk, most vehicles had their lights on.

  ‘Another motel then, I suppose.’

  ‘We’ll find one on the 101, this side of Santa Barbara. We’ll transfer Angie to the room, make her as comfortable as we can. As she’s your relative, you get to play nanny.’

  I was looking at her as I spoke. She shot me a return look that was less loving than usual.

  ‘So long as it doesn’t involve wiping bottoms.’

  It might, was my thought. I didn’t voice it.

  Five or six miles north of Santa Barbara, we spotted an illuminated VACANCY sign beside the 101. It would have to do, whatever its facilities or lack of. Twenty-plus cabins formed an E without the middle stroke, around a courtyard-cum-parking lot. Lights were on in three of them.

  ‘It’s the Bates Motel,’ Maura said with a shiver.

  ‘Can’t say I know it.’

  ‘Psycho. The movie.’

  Be that as it may, we didn’t get Anthony Perkins to welcome us, or his mother. The desk clerk was fat and waddled as he walked, but not creepy. We opted for a cabin in the most ill-lit part of the courtyard, which also happened to be the farthest from the office. Number 17. The clerk let us in, showed us how things worked, and took his leave, complete with a hundred dollar bill.

  Now for the tricky part. Manhandling Angie from the Audi’s trunk to the cabin took both of us. She squirmed, kicked her bound legs, and glared fit to kill, but we got her inside without attracting attention, as far as I could tell. At any rate, no curtains twitched in any of the three occupied cabins, and the clerk was probably preoccupied with how to spend the hundred.

  We half fell through the door
and onto the nearer of the two single beds. Angie landed face down and I couldn’t help but notice her cute little butt, encased as it was in skin tight Lycra. But Maura’s was no less cute, and there I could at least claim proprietorial rights with no guilt feelings about perving.

  Maura shut the door, and we hauled our reluctant guest off to the bathroom. Sitting her against the wall, between the WC and the shower, I removed her cycling helmet and knelt beside her.

  ‘Now listen carefully, Angie. You’re going to be staying with us for a few days, like it or not. If you behave, we’ll make you as comfortable as we can. Misbehave, and you’ll be strapped up like a mummy. Nod if you understand.’

  A glare of defiance was all my little speech earned me. Maura, standing behind me, said, ‘Let me.’

  ‘Wait a minute, love. You’ll be too soft on her.’ To Angie, I said, ‘Promise not to scream or yell, and I’ll remove the gag. If you break your promise, the gag goes back on and stays on. I’ll accept a nod as a promise.’

  It was killing her to cooperate, but eventually she nodded.

  ‘Right. You’ve promised not to make a noise if I remove the gag.’

  I yanked the tape off, no finesse, just brute force. She did yell, but only from the pain.

  ‘Was that a yell I heard?’ I said.

  ‘Yes,’ she hissed. ‘It hurt, you cocksucker.’

  ‘My-oh-my, doesn’t she have a way with words?’ I remarked to Maura, still looming agitatedly over me.

  ‘Oh, stop it,’ Maura said, almost cross with me. In reality, she was fighting a smile.

  I straightened up. ‘I’ve got three rolls of duct tape, Angie. Don’t make me use them all.’

  ‘All right, all right,’ she said sulkily. ‘You’ve made your point.’ Her eyes widened. ‘Hey, I remember you. You’re that schmuck that came to see Dad in France.’

  ‘So I am. Now let’s focus on making you comfortable, and how to deal with bodily needs and the like.’

  ‘You’re not touching me!’ she squeaked. Was this the same girl who fucked me with a single glance only a few weeks ago?

  ‘You’d change your mind if I were twenty years younger.’

  That earned me an elbow in the ribs from Maura.

  ‘It’s okay, Angie,’ she said to the girl. ‘I’ll take care of that stuff.’

  ‘Fuck you. You’re in this with him, so you’re as bad as he is.’

  ‘I’m out of here,’ I said, and flapped a farewell, closing the door after me.

  We gradually organized ourselves. We let Angie into the bedroom and sat her on a bed so she could watch TV. I went shopping for some takeout food, came back with three different pizzas, beer, coke, and Evian water. With her wrists bound Angie still managed to feed and water herself. A very independent type.

  Supper was just about over when Maura’s cell chirped its Dixie theme. It was Richard. Sitting on his ownsome in Mexico City and wondering where we were.

  ‘Tell him to overnight there, and fly to San Luis in the morning.’

  She punched the button on her cell to mute our conversation.

  ‘Really?’

  ‘It’ll keep him occupied for the next twenty-four hours. He may be useful to us as a go-between. Anyhow, let’s keep him in play for now.’

  ‘If you say so.’ She didn’t seem convinced.

  As the stress of the past few hours began to tell on me, I was finding decisions harder to make, so I said, ‘Tell you what, let’s make it your call. I’ll go along with it.’

  ‘No, I’m fine with it. Just think it’s a shame we can’t use him.’

  Shame or not, I was happy to keep him on the team, and might yet have a role for him, but for now it suited me to maintain some distance between us.

  Maura activated the speakerphone and relayed my instructions.

  ‘Okay, if that’s what you want,’ Richard said through the speaker. ‘San Luis Obispo, right?’

  ‘Hi, Richard,’ I said. ‘When you get there, check into a hotel and let us know where.’

  ‘Sure ... Drew. See you soon then.’

  ‘You bet.’

  ‘Take care,’ Maura said to him and shut down her cell. To me, she said, ‘It still seems a waste, his hanging about in Mexico City.’

  ‘Trust me. It’ll work out.’

  ‘So Richard’s one of your gang as well,’ Angie said.

  ‘Yes, honey,’ Maura said. ‘We’re like Bonnie and Clyde, except there are three of us.’

  It impressed me how well she was settling into the part of kidnapper.

  ‘Now switch your cell off,’ I said to her.

  ‘Why so?’

  ‘I’m not a hundred per cent certain of this, but I believe they can trace calls on cell phones these days. Carl may not have the means, but Gratrix sure will. So, my love, turn it off.’

  She was always quick on the uptake where logic was concerned. She switched the cell off.

  ‘If we want to communicate with them, we’ll do it on Whatsapp or text. The thing that matters is to be connected to the network for as short a time as possible and only switch on when we need it.’

  Angie wanted a visit to the bathroom. Off she went, hopping, with Maura steadying her. Maura returned after getting her settled. The bathroom was next door and the walls were thin so I got to listen to the sound effects, which was a fringe benefit I could have done without.

  The sleeping dispositions brought out the shining knight in me. I allowed Angie one of the beds, and made do with the floor, a blanket, and two pillows. The carpet was threadbare, so no cushioning there. In the small hours, after much tossing and turning, I had company.

  ‘Hello, darling,’ Maura said, and nibbled my ear as she slid under my solitary blanket and coiled herself around me. She wasn’t naked. To begin with.

  ‘Is Angie asleep,’ I whispered. The girl was breathing steadily, but might have been putting it on.

  ‘Do I care?’

  ‘Jezebel. Okay then, but none of your usual sound effects – agreed?’

  ‘Promise.’

  Only when our lovemaking was in its stride did it transpire that Maura’s promises were worthless.

  TWENTY-THREE

  The morning dawned misty, or maybe it was smoggy, LA being just over the hill. While I mothered Angie, Maura went property hunting early in Santa Barbara for a house in the country: three bedrooms, two bathrooms, and crucially a furnished basement. She was back around one, having viewed three properties.

  ‘It’s the other side of Santa Barbara,’ she told me, ‘in an area called Toro Canyon Park. Nearest neighbour is about quarter of a mile away. I paid three months up front, and it wasn’t cheap. We can move in today.’

  ‘Well done. Closer than I would like, but I guess it will have to do.’

  ‘Your gratitude overwhelms me,’ she sniffed.

  ‘You know what they say about sarcasm?’

  She gave me a cheeky grin. If it hadn’t been for the presence of an increasingly truculent Angie, we might have made love there and then. Under her belted leather coat, she was wearing jeans, tight enough to stop the circulation, tan knee-high boots, and a baggy white sweater. All very fetching. I was in jeans and sweater too, but there the similarity ended.

  ‘You can’t keep me forever,’ Angie grumbled, ‘so I don’t know why you need a fucking house.’

  Maura and I looked at her. She was sitting on a bed, her back against the headboard. It was Maura who answered.

  ‘I’m sorry for you, Angie, but this is about getting my daughter back, so you’ll just have to put up with it. If your father really loves you, he’ll want to swap sooner rather than later. It’ll be up to him. If he drags his heels, you can give him a hard time about it when you’re reunited.’

  ‘I need a shower and a change of clothes.’

  ‘You can borrow jeans and a sweater from me,’ Maura said. ‘I’ll buy you some underwear later.’

  Angie mumbled something that might have contained the odd expletive.

&n
bsp; ‘Maybe we can give her some elocution lessons while we’re together,’ I said.

  Maura was amused by the idea.

  I went on, ‘Talking about your daughter reminded me of something: have you spoken with her lately?’

  The familiar worry lines resurfaced.

  ‘At the beginning of the week, as usual. We’ve texted since then. Why?’

  ‘Call her. Anyone can send a text message.’

  She gave me a startled look. That hadn’t occurred to her. She needed to acquire a layer of deviousness for dealing with the likes of the Heider clan.

  ‘I’ll call Justine’s cell,’ she said, cranking up her own cell phone.

  ‘Put it on speakerphone.’

  Justine was slow to pick up. Eventually she did, and Maura said, ‘Justine, Maura. I want to speak to Lindy.’

  Instead of responding, Justine fired at her ‘What are you doing to Angelina?’

  ‘The same as you’re doing to Lindy. Holding her against her will. You’ll get your daughter back when I get mine back. Now – let me speak to Lindy.’

  ‘Let me speak to Angie.’

  ‘Maura asked first,’ I cut in.

  The line went quiet. Then, more subdued, Justine said, ‘That’s Freeman, ’enley, whatever your name is, I suppose. Don’t you hurt my daughter.’ This was spoken in French, her native tongue.

  ‘C’est vôtre décision. La vôtre et celle de Carl.’

  At that point, Angie decided to contribute to the negotiations.

  ‘Come and get me, Mom!’ she yelled. ‘We’re at – ’

  Maura proved that she could pack a wallop when enough was at stake. The punch landed on Angie’s ear and was forceful enough to knock her off the bed. I made a mental memo to myself to stay out of striking range if ever Maura and I fell out.

  ‘What’s going on?’ This, shrilly, from Justine.

  Maura picked up the cell phone from the bed where she had dropped it.

  ‘Everything’s good, Justine. I had to exercise a little discipline, that’s all.’