The Wolf At My Door

by Sam Hall

  “We’ve…we’ve only just met,” he said.

  “I know…” I said, taking little nips at his mouth, running a tongue against his lower lip.

  “Julie, Julie, we need to stop or….” I didn’t want to stop. My body had given up cheering and was now ready to lie down on the nearest available flat surface, spread my legs and take him inside me. Seriously, we needed to fuck. “Just tell me…” he said.

  Thinking about saying those thoughts out loud kind of jerked me out of my fever. I pulled away, smoothed my hair back and blinked. Yep, he was still smoking hot, and as I looked down, I got a clear outline in his jeans of what he had been thrusting against me. I reached out a shaking hand and found my fingers partially wrapping around something big. “Uh,” I cried. My brain rather helpfully supplied me with a 3D and full Technicolour recreation of what they thought this dick would feel like going into me.

  He pushed my hand away and said, “Not unless you say you want this.”

  Which of course gave my pre-frontal cortex time to kick in. I had no idea who this guy was, what the consequences would be for sleeping with a colleague before the much-lauded talk with Kelly. What would Finn think? I needed a job, not a boyfriend, I reminded myself. Buddy whined to be let in, and I turned and unlocked the front door, leaving it open.

  Part of me wanted him to take the need for consent away, to shove me against the wall and show me how good it would be between us, to bamboozle me with a flood of sensation that would overwhelm all my doubts. Trouble was, that had happened before, and when I woke up those doubts were still there, even if he wasn’t. Oh, god, I groaned internally. I was going to say no, for now at least, and I couldn't quite believe it.

  He smiled, part disappointed, part hopeful. “It’s ok, I knew you’d say no. Can we pick this up tomorrow? After you’ve talked to Kelly, if you still want to hang out after work, I’ll come by. I’ll grab some food from the mess crew. I know a great spot for a picnic.”

  “I’d like that,” I said. “I haven't had much of a chance to see the sights around here.”

  “I’ve got something I’d like to show you,” he said in a growl, then gave me the kind of long, slow, sweet kiss you give someone you don’t want to leave. We pulled apart finally when Bud came to the door and barked. “Cock blocked by a dog,” he said. “First time in my life. So, tomorrow?”

  “Tomorrow.”

  4

  After he’d loped off into the darkness, I realised what I’d done. Mentally, it seemed like a sane thing to do, not sleep with a colleague within hours of getting a new job. But who knew right hurt so good? My nipples were tight little beads, feeling every rasp and shift of my bra as I moved. My clit actually ached, throbbing in time with my heartbeat and leaving me wondering if I should call Shaun back. I shook my head and plodded over to the bathroom to have a long, long shower.

  When I woke up in the morning, I realised three things: I didn't need to worry about money anymore, I had somewhere to live, and I worked with a virtual herd of hot guys. I had slept badly, thrashing around in bed through a string of dreams where a variety of sexy partners got me all hot and bothered, only to have to take off for some reason before clinching the deal. My clit still throbbed sulkily, despite me doing my damndest to appease myself, but today was a new day. I bounced out of bed, freaking out Buddy and sending him skittering across the floor, wondering where the fire was. I just swept past him and into the bathroom. By 8:45 I was showered and dressed in the khakis someone had left last night for me, and ready to head down to have ‘the talk’.

  My dog got excited when I locked up the bungalow, racing down the hill and back again. Where he found the energy, I don’t know. “Morning.” I turned and saw the three blokes who’d sat next to me at dinnertime walking towards the compound as well. Jesus! Mountain guy really was huge. He’d have to be six foot seven or more of solid but not bulky muscle, which unfortunately led to my gaze dropping lower, wondering if he was big everywhere. It was like visiting Loch Ness. You had to look into the depths just to see if the monster was lurking there. Something shifted beneath the khaki fabric. Whoa, was that real? I thought as I stared at the considerable bulge. Visibility was compromised, but what was hinted at was massive. I jerked my eyes up, stumbling away. Holy shit! “Have a great day,” I said before walking quickly away, the guys’ laughter ringing in my ears.

  I arrived at the admin building well before 9 and set Buddy up with a bowl of water on the porch. “Hi,” Karen the receptionist said. “Can you fill out these forms for me? I’ll let Kelly know you’re here.”

  “Come through, Julie,” Kelly said. I dropped the completed paperwork on Karen’s desk and walked into her office. She smiled once we were both seated. “I have your contract. The trial period is for a month. If at the end of that time we find you are not a good fit for the job, the contract will be terminated.” I swallowed hard, glad I hadn't slept with Shaun. I still had to win this job, and trying to do so with a sex hangover wasn’t helpful. “You will have several performance reviews though, so there should be no surprises for anyone. You look worried.”

  “I’m not sure what the position entails, so I guess I don’t know if I can even do this job.”

  She smiled at this. “I was going to get Finn to go over that, but to reassure you, it’s basically doing whatever he needs. From menial things like getting coffee, to helping with paperwork. In some ways, you’ll be a personal assistant, though the work won’t be restricted to administrative stuff. I tend to look after the overall organisation, keep the books in the black and make the big decisions. The day to day running is down to Finn, so your job is to make that easier for him.”

  “Ok, I guess all I can do is do my best, and hope I meet your standards.”

  “You’ll be fine. Now, from Finn’s comments about the mess hall, it’s beyond time for me to chat about the HR issues of working here.”

  “News gets around fast, huh?”

  “You’ve lived in a small town, you know what it's like. Don’t worry or anything, he said you dealt with the attentions of the male staff confidently and appropriately, but the reality must be faced. We are hours from civilisation and have few female staff. Sexual and romantic relationships happen. We accept and support that, but everyone needs to be clear how this works. Your sex and love life is none of our business, except when it creates potential risk for the company. The risk lies with sexual harassment, obviously. Female staff often find our views on workplace relationships comparatively permissive when starting work here, sometimes shockingly so. Some, even many, male employees will make plain they are interested in a sexual or romantic relationship. They may do this during or after work, though this can’t take away from the tasks they have to do that day. If this gets oppressive, or makes you uncomfortable in any way, let me or Finn know, and we will deal with it. All parties involved will be notified when a formal warning is in place, and any offensive actions beyond that point will result in an immediate termination of employment for the offender. Please, feel confident that we will support you. I know many workplaces pay lip service to the idea of zero tolerance for sexual harassment, but I assure you, that is not the case here. We are too far away from anything, so we must police ourselves for the wellbeing of our organisation. Now, did you have any questions?”

  I frowned as I tried to get my head around it. “So, you’re telling me it would be OK to flirt with some guy when I’m supposed to be working, as long as I get my work done?”

  “We expect our employees to be self-directed and show initiative. If you’re looking for a boss to micromanage you, this won’t be a good fit for you. The expectation is that you can manage your time wisely and complete all tasks set. If you think you can fit some flirting in while doing this, feel free, but realise that this will be frowned on during time sensitive tasks.”

  “So, sleeping with the entire male workforce, as long as I get my work done, is OK?” I asked with an incredulous laugh.

  “We have over four
hundred male staff, so that would be a considerable feat of endurance. Some staff are in relationships, so causing distress by trying to break up happy couples would definitely be frowned upon. Creating discord in a functioning workplace would be grounds for a negative performance review, and if you were attempting to force yourself on a man in or out of a relationship, he could bring a sexual harassment case against you. But other than that, my question would be, would it interfere with your work? Were you getting all your tasks done? That’s actually a good question. I’ll make a note to add that to the next group training session.”

  I let out a laugh that sounded almost more like a bark. This had to be a joke. What kind of crazy place was this? My boss was coolly telling me how to have gang bangs without messing with my work performance! I scrubbed at my face with my fingers, hoping maybe to wake myself up from the weirdest dream my id could have thrown at me. “You’re struggling to take this in,” Kelly said. “That’s common. Would you like me to give you some time? We can continue this later?”

  “No, I….” I shook my head. “What you’re suggesting would have me fired, feathered and tarred for being an unrepentant slut at my previous jobs. It’s just hard to hear my new boss say, sure, go for it, sleep with whoever you like.”

  Kelly shrugged, “Well, I can tell you from experience, we tried it the other way too, of course, and it didn’t end well. We had major issues with interpersonal conflict, good qualified people leaving the organisation to pursue the relationships we were banning, not to mention sexual harassment. We spent considerable time with a team of mediators and psychologists, and came up with an alternative way to manage the situation. This was reviewed by consultants from industries with high incidents of sexual interaction in the workforce and refined. So far, it’s worked well for us. We’ve even had articles written about our HR practices in some esteemed journals on business management, if you want to read them.”

  “Ah, no. I’ll take your word on it. Wait, what industries? Like porn?”

  “Some were from the adult entertainment industry, others from the BDSM community, and some representing sex workers. It was incredibly illuminating, once we move beyond our enculturated view of sex to a more pragmatic one, job satisfaction increased…”

  I just bet it did, I thought.

  “Staff retention, productivity, any metric you’d like to apply improved. We’ve worked this way for ten years, with an incident rate most companies would die for. It’s a social experiment, but so far, it’s been a successful one.”

  I sat there, trying to look all keen and professional, but seriously, my brain went straight back to when the guys walked in the door to the mess hall. It played back in super detail the many, many details I hadn’t noticed the first time, perhaps exaggerated for my benefit. Then it was a slideshow of Shaun’s kisses and his sandalwood scent, the guys bringing me food, the bloke with the monster dick, and Finn… I shook my head, and said, “What about when there’s an unequal working relationship? Like a leading hand and a subordinate?”

  “Thinking about Finn, are you?” My eyes went wide, but she just laughed. “It’s OK, I noticed a bit of a frisson during the interview. That can be more difficult to negotiate, due to the power imbalance. Irrespective of who wears the pants at home, during working hours, it’s important that assigned roles are respected. If you are adept at shifting gears, from your work persona to your domestic one, I can’t see there being an issue. It’s been awhile since Finn has had a significant other, and it would probably be good for him. But if you found it too hard, I would suggest you either terminated the relationship or asked for a transfer within the organisation.”

  “I didn’t mean… It doesn’t matter.” I’d bounced in here full of energy, and now felt like I’d somehow gone through the ringer. The anxious part of my brain was screaming, “It’s a trap!” and was sure the moment I stepped out of line, I’d be sacked on the spot. I also couldn’t see a bunch of red-blooded straight guys being OK with all of this. If anyone was going to police a woman’s sexual interactions, it was guys. Incredibly sexually responsive to him equals ideal mate, incredibly sexually responsive to a few guys equals slut. I seriously had no mental models to make sense of what she was proposing. It was always one guy, one girl, married until someone strayed, and then the condemnation of the whole town came down on their head in Melville. I swallowed, my throat suddenly dry. I felt like a kid let loose in a candy store, but some of the candy would end up with me out of a job, again giving hand jobs in alleyways if I wasn’t careful. Well, fuck.

  “I’m sorry this conversation has been so focussed on sexual interactions. I’ve told our instructional designer it doesn’t really send the right message. Sex first, job second, but the complex nature of this workplace means it’s something that has to be addressed from the start. Finn has mentioned you have been approached already by some of the men?”

  “Uh, yeah.”

  “Then please don’t feel pressured in any way to respond. Find your feet, if that’s what makes you feel comfortable. You’re in control here, do what works for you.” I nodded, just wanting this conversation to end. This was like getting the sex talk from Mum, but worse. I had to impress Kelly to keep my job. I needed some time to get my head around this and work out what I thought, and I didn’t want to do that in front of the boss.

  “Ok, thanks,” I said. “Should I go find Finn now?”

  She gave him a call on her walkie talkie and then asked Karen to set me up with my own, a utility belt with a dizzying array of attachments, and an ID badge that also worked as a key to the areas I was allowed into. I went outside and sat down next to Buddy in a daze, my fingers burying themselves into his fur. A cart pulled up in front of me, and I started to get to my feet, but saw it was Shaun. He was smiling, but then noticed my expression. He climbed out and took a seat beside me, placing a big hand on my leg and giving it a pat. “How’d it go?”

  “I…”

  “It’s a lot to get your head around, huh?”

  “You could say that again.” I let out a long sigh. Life had been so much simpler in Melville. Stupid drought, stupid downturn. I turned to look at Shaun, really looking at him for the first time in the morning. Yup, my brain hadn’t been making it up. He was fucking gorgeous, and I both wanted to see exactly how those fingers on my leg would feel up inside me with a bit of a curl, and jump in my car and drive and drive and never come back. I don’t know if he could see all that in my face, but his expression became sympathetic, and he pushed a strand of my hair behind my ear.

  “Don’t worry too much about all of this. Just find your feet, there’s no rush. Just let things happen organically, if they’re going to.”

  “I just… I’ve got a million questions. Like, how do you choose?”

  “What? A guy? The same way you always did. Find someone you’re into and are attracted to.”

  “But what if you’re attracted to a lot of them?”

  He chuckled at that. “God, don’t tell the guys that. You’ll have a stampede on your hands. Look, I don’t know if you’re ready for this, but the women here, they often…end up with more than one guy.”

  My head jerked up at this. “No fucking way.”

  “Well, yeah. There’s too many blokes and not enough women. Some people really get off on it, especially women. Y’know how you girls can keep on coming, you have us at a disadvantage there, so…”

  “OK, stop. You’re right, I’m not ready for this. Fuck, couldn’t they have told me this was some kind of swinger club before I drove all the way out here…” I put my head in my hands. A warm hand came to rest on the back of my neck, making small circles on the skin.

  “Look, you want out of here? I’ll give you the petrol money to get to the next town. Don’t feel pressured or trapped. If you choose to stay, if you choose to give any of us the time of day, you do so because that’s what you want to do, OK?”

  “Why are you being so nice?” I asked. “Last night you were all ‘anytime,
any place baby’.”

  “You wanna know the truth?” I nodded. “I read romance novels.”

  “No way!”

  “Yeah, you can keep that quiet, but I wanted to work out how women’s minds tick. So I figured it’d be a good place to start, and a lot of blokes in those books are really sexually aggressive. I gave it a go, but it seemed to put you off a bit. It’s why I waited outside, figured I better take another tack, see if that worked.”

  “Well, in the name of market research, they both kind of worked, but I think I prefer nice guy.”

  “Nice guy it is, then. So, you still up for a picnic, or do you need a bit of time?”

  I tried to think about it but struggled. My brain was mush right now, but I looked at him and remembered what they kept telling me. I was in control, I didn’t have to do anything I didn’t want to. I could hang out with him this afternoon, see how I felt about it, and then go from there. “Yeah, I’d like that.”

  “Cool. Well, here comes Finn. I’ll be at your place at 5:30, OK?”

  5

  “Julie, I’m going to get you to work with Nerida today, if that’s OK. I’ve got some dramas beyond the gate I need to look after, and we’ve got to do your training before you go in there. She’ll be ecstatic, just let her know this is not long term. Ask her to show you how to do stock control in the animal shed and the veterinary clinic,” Finn said. He was looking a bit flustered, sweat already beading on his forehead.

  “Yeah, sure.”

  “I’ll be back with some of the animals for Doc Hobbes, but if I’m not by lunchtime, go to the mess shed with Nerida.”

  “Ok.”

  “And stop worrying so much, you’ll be fine.” He stopped the cart outside the animal shed and let me get out before taking off at a rapid clip. I shook my head and wandered in.