The Statesmen Snowbound

by W. W. Jacobs

  XI

  WHAT HAPPENED TO DENMEAD

  "Several years ago I found myself in New York; penniless, weary, andheartsick. I wandered one morning into a tiny park, mouldering in theshadow of the huge skyscrapers with which Manhattan is everywheredefaced. I sank upon a bench, pulled a soiled newspaper from my pocket,and scanned for the fiftieth time the 'Help Wanted' columns. Work Iwanted of any kind, and work of any kind had eluded my tireless searchfor days--ever since my arrival in New York. The benches about me werefilled with bleary, unshaven men; some asleep, others trying hard tokeep awake; each clutching a paper which presently it seemed they mightdevour, goat-like, in sheer hunger. The stamp of cruel want convulsedeach hopeless face, and crowsfeet lines of despair lay as a deltabeneath each fishy eye. About us in all directions towered hugemonuments of apoplectic wealth--teeming hives, draining the honey fromeach bee, tearing from thousands their best years, their finestendeavors, their very hearts' blood--all to swell the wealth of abloated few! And we, the drones, sat mildewing in the little open spacebelow!

  "The man next to me, his head hanging over the back of the bench inghastly jointlessness, awoke with a snort, stared about him stupidly,and something like a sob bubbled up from his Adam-appled throat. Hewiped his eyes with the back of a grimy paw, and diving into a greasypocket pulled out a short black pipe. Between consoling puffs he jerkedout, 'A man's a damn fool--a damn fool, I say, to come to New York tolook for a job! That's why _you_ are here. Oh, I know. I can tell.You're a stranger all right; that's easy to see. You look the part.'

  "'That's so,' said I, 'and worse. I am about down and out. Financially,I stand exactly twenty-one--no--twenty-three cents to the good.'

  "'I am right with you, friend--only more so. I have nothing, absolutelynothing! You've twenty-three cents, hey? A bad number, thattwenty-three. Give me the odd penny, and perhaps luck'll change for bothof us.' I put the copper into his hand, and in chucking it into hispocket he dropped it. It rolled out to the center of the walk, and in aninstant not less than a dozen men made a determined rush for it. Therewas a desperate struggle; others joined; it became a mad, screaming,tumbling, sweating mob. Instantly a crowd from outside gathered, and afree-for-all fight began. Hundreds flocked in from the adjacent streets.The affair quickly assumed the proportions of a riot. Knives andrevolvers were brought into play. It was every man against his neighbor,and an unreasoning wave of frenzy and blood seemed to sweep over thecrowd. The police rushed in from all quarters, but their efforts seemedpowerless. My new acquaintance and myself, the innocent cause of all thetrouble, managed to escape from the thick of the fray--he with the lossof a hat and a bleeding face; and I in much worse shape--physicallysound, but--I had lost my twenty-two cents! We hurriedly entered a darkcanyon which led to wider paths where quiet reigned. The tumult in thepark, sharply accentuated by pistol shots, came to us like the roar offalling water.

  "'What an astonishing thing!' said my companion. 'And all for a penny--abloomin' penny! And to think of the fabulous wealth stored in the midstof all these tigers! Do you suppose that mere walls of steel and granitecould withstand the fury of such a mob as this great city now holds,straining at its leash? Horrible things will happen in New York one ofthese days, and we will not have long to wait for it either. Disciplineof the crudest sort, and a leader, is all that is needed to start agreat army of destruction in motion!'

  "'But how about the police, the Federal and State troops, supposed to bein instant readiness?' I urged.

  "'They would count as nothing before the fury of an organized mob. Aportion of the monstrous mountain of wealth stored here in New York Cityshould be moved to a central, safer point; say St. Louis, Omaha, or evenfurther west to Denver. It's piling up here is an ever-present menaceand danger. It is a serious problem.'

  "'Quite so,' agreed I; 'but there is a much more serious problemconfronting you and me just at present, and that is a certain sickeningemptiness which makes one weak and giddy. My few coppers stood betweenus and--and--well, serious thoughts of the future. I have never beggednor stolen, and yet----'

  "'Oh, don't bother about that. The thing's easy,' said my friend; 'justwatch me.'

  "A fat, prosperous-looking man approached. His sleek face, garlandedwith mutton-chop whiskers, was creased in smiles. Evidently a broker whohad just 'done' some one, was my sour thought. There were but few on thestreet, and the outlook for business was favorable.

  "'Pardon me, friend,' whined my companion, stepping out in front of him,'but can't you give a fellow a lift? I'm a mechanic by trade, and----'

  "'Oh, cut it out!' said the fat man, leering knowingly. 'I'm on to whatyou're going to say. Why don't you fellows vary your song anddance--just for luck? G'wan. Get out of the way!' And he tried toside-step us. With a quick glance over his shoulder, my new acquaintanceshoved a revolver right up in the teeth of the prosperous one. Skywardthe podgy, bejeweled hands, and we deftly went through him, securing hiswallet, watch, scarf-pin, and then stripped his fingers of theiradornment. It was over in a flash, and the fat man on his back by adexterous push and go-down which the Japs might add with advantage totheir much-vaunted jiu-jitsu.

  "--Shoved a revolver right up in the teeth of theprosperous one!"]

  "'Beat it!' urged my companion, and 'beat it' we did; dropping casuallybut hurriedly into a corner saloon, then through a side entrance outinto another street. I looked at my friend admiringly.

  "'I suppose there's hell to pay around the corner just now,' said hecoolly; 'but we are as safe here as if we were in Jersey City--andsafer. Still, it won't do to linger. Come this way,' and he led me intoa lunch-room of the baser sort.

  "'Sit here, at this table, and I will eat at the counter. We had bestnot be seen together, though they would never look for us here.' I gazedat him in amazement. My bearded friend had become smooth-shaven! Hisneck, but a moment before collarless, was now surrounded by a highwhite-washed wall; he flashed a crimson tie, and somehow his clotheslooked newer and sprucer. Of all the lightning-change acts I have everseen, this was certainly the extreme tip of the limit!

  "'What do you think of it?' he asked, grinning, jamming his whiskersstill further into his pocket.

  "'Wonderful!' said I.

  "'Now,' said he confidently, '_I_ am absolutely safe, and I don't thinkthe stout party saw _you_. Don't worry. I caught only my reflection inthe little swinish eyes. I saw nothing in the background. What'll youhave to eat? There seems to be enough in the pocket-book--which I oughtto empty and chuck--to buy up several lunch-rooms, with the Waldorfthrown in for good measure.'

  "'How much?' I asked.

  "'Not now,' he whispered, 'not now. Wait until we get out. Theproprietor is looking at us. Here's coffee, and pie, and sandwiches--icecream--oh, anything you like!'

  "We munched in silence and he pushed up a twenty-dollar bill in payment,much to the surprise of the man behind the counter. The change pocketed,we strolled out leisurely, picking our teeth with easy nonchalance.

  "'I hated to give that fellow the double cross, but really, old cock,that is the smallest denomination in the bundle. Wander down to theBattery with me and we will investigate further.'

  "'You're an Englishman,' I essayed knowingly. 'I am on to the lingo.'

  "'Not on your life!' said he. Born in Newark, New Jersey, deah boy, Iassure you--right back of the gas-house; what? These togs o' mine werehanded out to me by an old pal--a cockney valet--and the accent goeswith 'em, don't ye know?'

  "'I'm on,' said I, sadder but wiser, and then relapsed into reverie.

  "The Battery was thronged as usual, but we found a bench away fromprying eyes.

  "'Gee whiz! Jumping Jerusalem! Julius Caesar! Joe Cannon!' murmured myfriend as he emptied the stuffing of the wallet into his hat. 'Am Idreaming again? I've often dreamt that I have found a bunch ofmoney--picking it out of the gutter, usually--dimes, quarters,halves--bushels of 'em! But this is different--oh, so different! Can itbe real? Am I on the boards again? Can it be only stage mon----? Lookhere; isn'
t this a windfall? Isn't this a monumental rake-off for anon-profesh? Heaven knows I'm but an amateur in this line--normally anhonest man, with but slightly way-ward tendencies. WhoopingO'Shaughnessy! Just look! Six one-thousand-dollar bills, fiftyone-hundreds--that's eleven thousand! A sheaf of fifties and twenties,swelling the total to something like twelve thousand! Hoo-ray! Again Iask, am I dreaming? Pinch me, I'll stop snoring, 'deed I will. I'll turnover, dearie, and go to sleep again! Twelve thousand plunks! Wouldn'tthat everlastingly unsettle you? Well, well, well! Not so bad for amoment's effort before breakfast, eh? Ain't it simply grand, Mag? Iwonder who and what our friend is, anyway. He wasn't dressed just forthe part of bank messenger, though he had the inside lining, all right!A pursy old broker, I guess. Might have been a book-maker--you never cantell. Anyhow, I am sort o' sorry for the chap. It would break _me_ allup if I lost a wad of that size! Who is he? Hell, what a fool I am! Hereis the name on the flap of the wallet.

  ABNER MCNAMEE, 24 Broadway, New York.

  "'Abner McNamee! Abner McNamee!! Abner Mac----! Ain't this the limit!Abner McNamee! We can't take this money! Just my damned, hydra-headedluck! You hear me? It has always been that way with me--all my life! Wecan't take this money, pardner! It's got to be returned! This money'sall got to go back--every cent of it! Ain't it a shame? Abner McNamee! Ioughter have known him at the time, but I only saw him once, and thatwas years ago. He has taken on a lot of flesh since then. Abner McNamee!Who'd 'a' thought it?'

  "'Who the devil is Abner McNamee?' I asked, scenting treachery. This wasa share and share alike affair, and no crooked work, and--I needed themoney! 'What's the game--this McNamee business? Do you think I am afool?'

  "'Look here, pal,' said my companion quietly, 'say bye-bye to yourdirigible and drop to the ground. You're all up in the air. Of course weare together in this thing. I've no thought of doing you. I know you canmake trouble if you want to. You could turn me over to the first copthat heaves in sight, and there's one over there now--why don't you doit? Of course _I_ would have something to say in that event, and thenthere would be _two_ of us in trouble; and with Abner confronting thepair, the odds would be all in my favor. He'd never recognize _me_! No,sir! But what's the use of hot-airing like this? Be good, now, andlisten to me. We can't, can't, can't keep this money! Do you hear? Nowlet it filter through your make-up--slowly at first, and then as fast asyou like. Honest, pal, we've got to give it back!'

  "'Why?' I asked, still skeptical.

  "'Oh, what's the use of your going on like that? You worry me with yourfool questions! Here, take it all and accept the responsibility, and Iwill leave you! Here--take it! Take it, you idiot!'

  "Somehow, I hesitated--held back by Heaven knows what.

  "'No,' said he, returning the wallet to his pocket, 'I thought not! Youknow a thing or two after all. You haven't lost your mind. Looks aredeceptive sometimes.' I instantly regretted my indecision.

  "'What's the matter with the money?' I asked. 'I was just kidding you.Give it to me. Hand it over. I will take it.'

  "'Never-r-r! Never-r-r!' he whispered mysteriously. 'This money belongsto THE CAUSE!'

  "'Oh, come off!' said I with a foxy wink. Don't you think because I am acountryman I gambol exclusively on the green. I am not altogether to theemerald by a pailful! I've got you where I want you, and you know it!Quit your fooling and hand over the wallet! There's a cop over therenow,' I added meaningly.

  "'Yes, over there--I see him,' said my companion slowly. 'A cop--a verynecessary evil, highly ornamental cops are, and occasionally useful. Nowkindly look over _this_ way, deah boy, and you'll see two more of 'em.'

  "I looked, and then----WOW! (The Milky Way.)

  * * * * *

  "They took me to Bellevue, and three days later I found myself echoing,'Six one-thousand-dollar bills, fifty one-hundreds--that's eleventhousand. A sheaf of fifties and twenties, swelling the total tosomething like twelve thousand! Hooray! Am I dreaming? Pinch me, I'llstop snoring, 'deed I will. I'll turn over, dearie, and go to sleepagain! Twelve thousand plunks. Well, well, well! Not so bad for amoment's effort before breakfast, eh?'

  "And my nurse smiled wearily."

  * * * * *

  "That New York is a fearful and wonderful place," said ColonelManysnifters gravely. "I will never forget the first time I went thereas a young man. Why, I didn't get any sleep at all! The first night Iwas there I turned in about two-thirty, took off my clothes, and got inbed; but it seemed sort of foolish and wasteful. Sleep in New York?Well, hardly. I argued that I could do that at home--and me paying threedollars a day! So I got right up, dressed, and started out to see thesights. It was about three o'clock then, and there wasn't any one aroundbut the night clerk and myself. I asked him if he couldn't lock up thehouse and go out with me for a little while. He smiled, and said that hewould like to do it, but he was afraid the boss might kick; so we had adrink together, and I went by myself. I was a green boy then and didn'tknow any better, but I am on to the little old town now, all right! Theyall know me up there. As soon as I get off the ferry, perfect strangerscome up, call me by name, shake hands, and slip me a card. I don't meanto brag, but I know the location of every poolroom in the city! I have afriend in New York who writes the dramatic criticisms for themoving-picture shows; he puts me in touch with the theatrical andnewspaper element, and I have seen some high old times up there, I tellyou! One night--but, hold on--I've had my inning, Mr. O'Brien is at thebat, I think."

  "--Writes the dramatic criticisms for the moving pictureshows."]

  Mr. O'Brien blushingly admitted the charge.

  "This is the first time I ever spoke in public," said the young manmodestly, "and I crave your indulgence. If you don't mind, I will tellyou about Judge Waddington and myself at Atlantic City last summer.Every one in Washington knows the Judge, and hopes that some dayCongress will take up his claim and adjust it satisfactorily. The oldgentleman is about all in, but we are doing what we can for him."