Rascal

by Lea Hart

  Something she wasn’t going to let happen without a hell of a fight.

  CHAPTER TEN

  Three rapid knocks and a prayer.

  Unfisting his hands, Zach sent up the final one; “Let her not be on a date, let her be excited to see me and please, dear lord in heaven, let her welcome me with open fucking arms.

  The door swung open and he decided one out of three wasn’t bad.

  At least she was home.

  So, what if she had a frown and crossed arms. “Hey, baby, it’s Friday night and I thought we’d have a date.”

  “You flew from Vegas for dinner and a movie?”

  Bending down, he kissed her cheek and let her cinnamon scent calm his jangling nerves. “We could go dancing if you want, or maybe bowling if that’s your thing. No one says we have to be boring. In fact, I read about an all-night shooting range in the flight magazine on the way over, so that’s a possibility.”

  The corners of her mouth lifted, and he knew his big gesture wasn’t going to blow up in his face. “Admit it, this is a hell of a surprise and deep in your heart you kinda like that I showed up.”

  Opening the door, she stepped back. “I guess it’s not the worst surprise.”

  “Maybe even the best,” he replied as he stepped in and closed the door. Crowding her against the wall, he put his arms on either side of her head. “Missed your fire and sass and needed to get a good dose of it to keep my sanity.”

  Cecily’s chest rose quickly in response to his words and made her soft curves press into his chest. A tsunami of want crashed through his body and he knew if she got a hint of it, his ass would be on the other side of the door before a minute passed. “For the record, twelve days is too damn long not to see your face.”

  “Zach, you can’t…”

  “Yes, baby, I can. And the sooner you get used to me saying what’s on my mind the better, since I’m not stuffing shit down simply because it doesn’t make sense.”

  Letting out a breath, he realized the statement might’ve been too much and did little to mask how very much he needed her welcome.

  When her hands moved to his chest, he waited; was she going to pull him in or push him away?

  Feeling her hands fist into his shirt and her head drop against his chest, made the silent hallelujah almost impossible to keep down. “We need time together, so you can learn to trust my words and intentions, and I’m hoping we can get a head start on it this weekend.”

  “Is that what you want; my trust?”

  “More than anything in the world,” he replied as he lifted her chin. “Because, I’m pretty damn sure all the good stuff is on the other side of it.”

  “What kind of good stuff?”

  “The kind that let’s us drop our armor, our masks and all the other shit we’ve learned is necessary to survive in the world. I want to be your safe place and have the same from you.”

  “Is something like that even possible?”

  “I hope to hell it is.”

  “But…”

  “What in the world could be more important than seeing if something like that’s doable?”

  She wrapped her arms around his waist and he dropped his, encircling her in the tightest embrace he could. “Lay it out there, Cecily, and let’s deal with your concerns once and for all.”

  “I might have a color-coded list.”

  Laughing, he kissed her head. “I’d expect nothing less.”

  “I was very proud of it up until ten minutes ago,” she replied as she looked up. “It gave me all kinds of comfort in knowing that I could deal with you rationally.”

  “Then I showed up and blew the list to hell, ‘cause there’s no logic that can explain the happenchance of meeting the one goddamn person who makes the world topsy-turvy while giving you a sense of your place in it.”

  “Exactly, and I’d like you to know how annoying I find that.”

  “Noted and filed.”

  “I’m going to make you look at my list and expect you take it as seriously as I did when Inez and I made it the other day.”

  “How many bottles of wine were involved in the making of this list?”

  “Two, but we were eating Indian takeout and it’s spicy, so we had to cool ourselves down.”

  “Understood,” he replied as he gave her a tight hug and then stepped back. “Where can I take you to dinner?”

  “How does tacos and margaritas sound?”

  “Perfect.”

  “Today is my cheat day, and I feel like enjoying some guacamole.”

  “Your wish is my command.”

  “Are you my genie, Zach?”

  “I’m your genie, king, dream man and anything else you can think of.”

  Patting his chest, she gave him a saucy smile. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

  “Please do, because I’m here all weekend and plan on making you as happy and satisfied as I can.”

  “Really?”

  Running his hand down her soft, tawny skin, he nodded. “Meeting you has opened a part of me that I didn’t know existed, and I want to see what it means.”

  “I have dreams scheduled for chasing and don’t want to lose sight of them because I’m too distracted by you.”

  “Maybe those dreams can eventually include me, and having me in your life is going to make gravity disappear long enough so you can leap high enough to make them possible.”

  Bowing her head, she clasped her hands together. “Are you even real?”

  He took her hands and held them between his. “The real fucking deal, baby.”

  “I hope that’s true because if you’re not, God and I are going to have a problem.”

  Get ready to say a bunch of prayers of thanks because all of your dreams are about to come true.”

  When she didn’t give him a snarky, smart ass response, he knew she was at least considering the possibility.

  Which was a lot more than he could’ve hoped for.

  ***

  Cecily walked back from the salsa bar and put the small dishes on the table. “People are pigs when something is free.”

  “Was someone taking more than they need?” Zach asked as he stood and waited for her to slide into the booth.

  “Yes, and it wasn’t pretty.”

  “Never is,” he replied.

  “Should we get back to the list?” she asked as she shook out her napkin and put it in her lap.

  Zach pushed her margarita closer and waited. “Drink some of that, and then we can discuss item number forty-seven.”

  Lifting the glass, she pursed her lips. “I feel as though you’re mocking me and not taking this seriously.”

  “I’ve successfully challenged everything from the blue list as well as the orange, so that’s a mischaracterization, if ever there was one.”

  She licked the salt off her glass and then took a sip and knew she’d let her crazy reach new and formerly unimagined heights. “I can’t even defend my behavior. I’ve gone to the dark side, and the only explanation I can offer is that it gives me some illusion of control. Which apparently I’m in desperate need of because I know the attraction I feel for you is like no other.”

  Zach moved closer and draped his arm over her shoulder. “Nobody loves the illusion of control more than me, since I’ve struggled with it my whole life.”

  “In what way?”

  “You sure you’re ready to hear this?”

  Nodding, she looked up. “I think I should hear the scary stuff before we sleep together.”

  “I was thinking we could have a lot of mind-bending sex first, so I could get you addicted to the way I make you feel, and then share all the scary and less-than-flattering parts of ourselves.”

  “It’s not a bad strategy, but if you’re really planning on being my king, I need to know what I’m in for,” she replied as their meal was delivered. “But we don’t have to do it here.”

  “Here’s as good a place as any since the setting isn’t going to make what I have to tell you any b
etter.”

  Cecily lifted her fork and speared a shrimp. “There’s nothing you can tell me that’s going to change the way I feel around you.” She popped the shrimp in her mouth and chewed it slowly.

  “Are you ready to accept the beast within me?”

  “Everyone has one, and to believe otherwise is foolish.” Looking over she noticed he was picking at his food. “Eat.”

  “Yes, ma’am.”

  Nodding, she went back to her meal and wondered if she’d survive exposing herself. She’d never done that with anyone she was dating, but hiding behind her lists and logical thinking no longer seemed like such a good idea.

  She’d claimed the willingness to be brave a couple of times and had never actually done it, so tonight seemed as good a time to try as any.”

  Pushing her plate away, Cecily wiped her mouth and looked at Zach’s empty plate. “Guess you liked your enchiladas.”

  “Seems so, since the only thing I didn’t do was lick the plate clean.”

  “Next time.”

  “I like the sound of that,” he replied as he took her hand. “You ready to hear a story?”

  “As I’m ever going to be.”

  “I’m going to dive into the deep end.”

  “I like the deep end.”

  “Get ready then, because here we go.” Closing his eyes for a minute, he let out a breath. “My mom left our family when I was six, and my father chose to deal with it by drinking every day. Our lives hadn’t been perfect, but having any kind of mama is better than having none. My father fell apart the moment she walked out the door, not only because he had to raise three sons by himself, but also because he had to learn to live with a broken heart. He drowned himself in the bottle every night and let his rage have free reign, which meant he was abusive most days. I grew up in a trailer park, and it was by the grace of God and my older brother, Cole, that me and my younger brother survived.”

  “God, Zach, that’s so fucking tragic.”

  Turning, he raised an eyebrow. “Can’t believe you said fuck.”

  “I bet I’ll say it again before you’re done telling the story.”

  “You probably will,” he replied as he lifted his beer and took a gulp. “As you can imagine, growing up that way gave me a lot of rage that I didn’t know what to do with. My temper used to get the best of me and by the time I was in high school I was a brawler, and considering my size and strength, it became a problem.”

  “Is that what all those rumors were about?”

  “Yeah. I got into a fight with a kid when I was seventeen and almost killed him.”

  Sucking in a breath, she let the weight of his words settle. “Do you remember what started it?”

  “The guy was an arrogant asshole and was always baiting me about where I lived, my drunk daddy and shit like that. I usually just ignored him, but he wouldn’t let it go one day, and I lost my shit. He was in the hospital for a week and recovered completely, but his parents were pissed and pressed charges.”

  “Is that why you left school early?”

  “Yes and luckily I was under eighteen so I was able to cut a deal by graduating early and agreeing to go into the Marines instead of jail.”

  “Why do I feel like that’s just the beginning of the story?”

  “Turns out a big guy with a temper can be turned into a lethal fighting machine and that’s what I became courtesy of the United States.”

  Tracing his big hand with her finger, she let out a breath. “Bet that wasn’t easy.”

  “Actually, it was a blessing because I took all my rage and turned it on the enemy, and considering I entered boot camp a year and half after 9/11, I had a lot of opportunities to work my shit out.”

  “What happened when you came home?”

  “Transition into civilian life hasn’t been easy since it turns out that the trained killer Uncle Sam turned me into wasn’t completely left on the battlefield. The mindset and skills I used most every day for ten years don’t work very well outside the theater of conflict, and it’s taken some time for me to acclimate.”

  “And how is the acclimation going?”

  “I’ve been out for two years and have done my fair share of therapy and most days are pretty good, so I’ll say there’s hope.”

  “Sounds like you’re doing all the right things.”

  “I am, but I run hot sometimes and have never been in a real relationship, so I don’t know how this thing between us is going to trigger my need for control.” Lifting her fingers, he pressed a kiss to them. “I don’t want to lie and make you think I know how to handle all the shit you stir up in me, but I’m going to do my best.”

  “You’ve never had a girlfriend?”

  Letting out a chuckle, he pulled her close. “I just upchucked my most personal shit and that’s what you came away with?”

  “Well, yeah…”

  “The trained killer, temper and controlling my shit doesn’t seem more important?”

  She waved her hands and blew a raspberry. “No, because it seems as though you’re aware of it and doing the work to manage it. But the not ever having a girlfriend thing is a little concerning.”

  “And why in God’s name is that?”

  “Because being in a relationship is just a hazy concept for you, and once we get into it, you may not be all that interested when reality sets in.”

  “I’ve always dealt with reality head on and am not going to rabbit at the first sign of conflict. If I can handle a drunk, abusive father and ten years hunting terrorists in the world’s hell holes, I can sure as shit handle the likes of you.”

  “Well, when you put it that way, I suppose you can.” Letting her eyes run over his face, Cecily let out a breath. “But you better remember I’m not free salsa.”

  “I have no idea what that means.”

  “Don’t treat me like free salsa, because I’m guacamole and cost extra. I gave you one pass on having your hand on my leg one minute and on another woman’s ass the next. It won’t happen again.”

  “Understood.”

  “I have my own personal baggage that I like to lug around, and seeing you with the blond triggered all the insecurity that I’ve worked really hard to get rid of.” She lifted her glass and then set it down when she saw that it was empty. “And I’m mad for allowing myself to be in a situation where that happened.”

  “I’m so fucking sorry. I thought not making a big deal of her impression of an octopus would be the fastest way to end it, but that was dead wrong.”

  “I should give you a little of my truth, so you know what you’re dealing with.”

  “Information is power, so lay it on me.”

  “My parents divorced when I was seven after my father had an affair. Apparently, my mother had become unappealing because she’d gained weight after giving birth to my sister and me. She didn’t have much time to keep herself shiny and bright since she was taking care of two young girls, and my father decided he could do better and traded up.”

  Zach scraped his hand down his face. “Sorry, baby.”

  “No sorry is necessary. Mom handled it, just like she did a hundred different difficult things every day. She never let us see her sorrow and pain and did everything she could to give us an amazing childhood. My father on the other hand, did what he could in the limited time we had with him to decimate the work my mother put in. He couldn’t stand having a fat daughter and my sister’s anorexia wasn’t acceptable either. The whole situation left me with more than a few issues about not being enough or lovable since the first man in my life thought I was neither.”

  “I could fucking kill him for what he did.”

  Leaning away, she raised an eyebrow. “How literal was that statement?”

  Shrugging, he ran his finger over her hands. “Not very.”

  “You could’ve said not at all, and I would’ve believed you.”

  “We’re going to deal in honesty, baby, and nothing less.”

  “Fine, but if I ever a
sk you if my butt looks big what is the acceptable answer?”

  “Bring it here and let me have a bite so you know how much I love it.”

  Laughing, she pulled him close and kissed his cheek. “You really are Prince Charming.”

  “I told you.”

  Cecily laughed and lowered her head onto his shoulder, hoping she’d survive his charm. “Are we done with true confessions?”

  “We can be.”

  “Let’s go to my place and—”

  “Let our bodies confess their feelings?”

  She looked up and saw hope flare in his eyes and decided it was time to give into the fire burning between them. “Yeah, we might as well see what they have to say.”

  “Mine is going to be saying, ‘More, more, more.’”

  “I wonder what mine will say.”

  “Hopefully the same.”

  “Without a doubt,” she mumbled as he slid out of the booth, holding out his hand. Taking it, she knew whatever was ahead of them wouldn’t leave them unchanged.

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  Giving himself extra points for making it inside, Zach kicked the door shut. “The next forty-eight hours are mine.”

  “I don’t think so,” Cecily replied as she stepped back. “In fact—”

  Backing her against the wall, he grinned with what he hoped was a polite smile and let his pelvis come into contact with hers. “So many things I want to do to you,” he said against her neck. “Things that take time. Things that will hopefully imprint me on your soul, making it impossible to ever let me go.”

  Cecily let out a shaky breath and put her hands against his chest. “Are you that good, Zach?”

  “Better,” he replied as he pressed his thumb against her lower lip. “You ready?”

  “Not sure that’s possible.”

  “Are you scared?”