Pure
Page 33
“praying your way through the day,” 37, 39
premarital sex, 8, 11, 11n, 28, 47n, 97, 129, 138–39, 141n, 143, 187, 194, 283
pride, 108–9
“Process of Recovery and Rebuilding Among Abused Women in the Conservative Evangelical Subculture, The” (Giesbrecht and Sevcik), 67–69
Proverbs of Ashes (Brock and Parker), 48–49
psychotherapists, 16, 141, 169, 171, 172, 177, 202, 232, 236
lack of training on religion and religious communities, 174–75, 176
sex therapist, Dr. Sellers, and writing a sexual autobiography, 173
Purity Culture Rehab Project, 175
purity movement, 20–26, 200n, 253
adolescents’ sexual attitudes and, 21, 26–27, 77–79
Choosing the Best curriculum provider, 25, 63
complementarianism and, 62, 63
as consistent with evangelicals, 20–26
consumer products related to, 22–24, 23n
as cultural, 260
as damaging, 267–68, 269
exporting of, globally, 260–61
failure, 28
false promises of, 143
family versus, 157–58
as good/bad binary based, 10, 144, 221, 233
I Kissed Dating Goodbye and, 263
impact on girls, 2, 4, 7, 8–13, 27–28, 73, 76, 129, 138, 154, 200, 234, 259
impact on non-evangelicals, 30
marital sex and, 137–38
meaning of being “pure,” 12–13
men and, 31, 138, 232, 234–35, 259
number of young people reached by, 25, 25n
object lessons of, 8–10, 9n, 21, 23, 152–53, 237–38
prophylactics as sinful, 195n
PTSD-like symptoms in women and, 8
purity’s definition and, 77–78
research findings on, 28, 28n
sex/shame brain trap and, 196–97
sexual violence, silencing and hiding it, 91, 233–34
shaming and, 10, 12, 14, 26, 30, 32, 138, 153, 155, 173–74, 189, 232
stumbling blocks for girls in, 3, 3n, 51, 61–62, 76, 91, 122, 265
successes of, 32
support for those leaving, 175–76
thoughts, feelings, included in, 13, 235–36
tiger/lamb language and hypersexuality, 139–40
virginity and, 76–77, 237–38
Youth for Christ’s DC ’94, 25n
purity myth, 76–77, 129
Purity Myth, The (Valenti), 76, 129
purity pledge, 24–25, 76, 86, 260–61
unplanned sex and, 194–95, 195n
purity ring, 11, 23, 23n
Pynes, Jeana, 275–77
R
Reagan, Ronald, 22, 22n
Regnerus, Mark, 78, 78n
Forbidden Fruit, 78–79
Religious Trauma Syndrome (RTS), 171
revirgination ceremonies, 12n
Rezendes, Michael, 93
Romans, Chapter 14, 28–30
romantic relationships, 69–70, 71–72
abstinence and, 259
author’s adolescence and, 2, 4–7
celibacy and, 118, 120
dating as sin, 260, 261–62
dating breaks, 120
dating Jesus, 115–16, 117, 118–20, 121
difficulty in, 191, 198, 219–29
God brings the man to the woman, 117, 130–31
kissing and, 119
modern Christian music and, 119
non-evangelical partner and, 131–32
online platforms, 220, 229, 229n
pregnancy fears, without intercourse, 183–84, 188, 189–90, 191, 195–96
purity culture and, 117
same-sex, 201, 205–6
sexual attraction and, 151
shame and sexual feelings in, 217–19
single women and, 116–17, 121–22, 130–32
women’s independence and, 120, 121
Ryan, R. M., 278n
S
Sarah Lawrence College, 104, 105, 109–11, 184–86
Seattle Pacific University, 173
self-esteem
author’s voice and, 101–2, 104, 108, 110–11, 114, 255
gender, sexuality expectations, and, 4, 109, 111–12, 160–61, 270
hatred of self and, 66, 187, 270
“The Lie” and, 67, 69, 69n, 70, 71
male approval and, 111–14
pride as sinful and, 109
purity culture’s effect on, 154, 187
sex education and, 279
sexual abuse and, 95, 237–38
sexual activity and feeling worthless, 194
shame and lowered, 6, 7, 15, 109, 112–13, 153–54, 160–61, 194, 203, 270
strong women role models and, 72–73
women’s bodies seen as evil and, 235
Sellers, Tina Schermer, 173
online platform (thankgodforsex.org), 174n
Sex, God, and the Conservative Church (Sellers), 174, 174n
Seventh-day Adventist Church, 264
Sex, God, and the Conservative Church (Sellers), 174, 174n
Sex and the Soul (Freitas), 21, 77–78
sex education, 152n, 276n, 292
abstinence-only, 8–10, 21–22, 22n, 25–27, 76, 151–52, 195n, 276n, 278
in church, 152–53, 155
Highlands Church, Denver, Colo., and, 276–79
internet pornography and, 277, 277n
lack of, for evangelicals, 133–37
OWL program, 152n
parental concerns, 277, 278–80
parental input, 151, 152, 152n
success of, 277–78, 278n
Sex Is Not the Problem (Lust Is) (Harris), 116
sex/sexuality
abstinence related to faith and, 23–24
adolescent sexuality, of evangelicals, 2–3, 3n, 4, 39–40, 193
children’s sexual experimentation and, 79–81
damage done by purity message, 7, 74–84
double standard for women, 3–4, 6–7
fear, anxiety, and shame linked to, 7, 8, 13, 27–28, 122–23, 193–98, 209
guilt of women vs. men, 27–28, 27n, 28n
healing of, 280, 289–90
human need for sexual expression, 122–23
ignorance about sex and, 133–37
impure thoughts and, 77
level of religiosity and response to, 26–28
masturbation and, 122–29
meaning of being “pure” and, 12–13
men’s lust blamed on women, 3, 3n, 4, 86, 92, 235
paranoia and, 195
pleasure and, 28, 122–23, 124, 126, 137–40, 193, 197
pregnancy fears, without intercourse, 6, 183–84, 188, 189–90, 191, 195–96
purity, rules for, 2, 77–78
purity culture, prophylactics as sinful, 195n
purity culture, shame and, 6–12, 17, 20–21, 77, 193–94
repression of, 65, 117–18, 122, 126–27, 140–41
rethinking approach to, 199–215
self-punishment for sexual feelings, 140
sex outside of marriage and, 11–12, 28, 209 (see also premarital sex)
sex/shame brain trap, 188–98
sexual ignorance and, 74–75, 77, 79–84
as sin, 11–12, 129
as slippery slope, 134–35
as a stumbling block, 3, 30, 43–44, 107, 108
tiger/lamb language and hypersexuality, 139–40
virginity and, 12n, 76–77, 86, 90, 137, 151, 193–95, 219, 237–38
See also shame (sexual shame)
sexual abuse, 30, 30n, 31, 31n, 91
blaming the victim, 88–90, 91, 95, 96, 236, 238
Catholic church and, 93
church’s silence about, 94
church youth pastor, revealed as sexual predator, 43, 53, 104, 152
class-action lawsuit, 266
complementarianism and, 67–69
&nbs
p; Dunn’s advocacy for survivors, 95–98
evangelical Christianity/evangelical church and, 68–69, 68n, 232–33, 236, 237, 239–40
feelings of worthlessness and, 237
going public with, 241–42
Harris and, 266
institutional silencing of victims, 93–94, 266
“The Lie” and, 67
19 Kids and Counting and, 235
rape, 85–90, 233
rape within a family, 232–34, 235, 236, 238–39
religiosity, degree of, and abuse as “good” for them, 49
religious and gender-based shame, symptoms akin to, 173–74
self-blame and, 90, 95, 244–45
sexual violence against males and gender nonconforming people, 236n
shaming and, 88–89, 95, 96
submissive behavior and, 68, 68n, 126
wrongful classification of rape and other forms of sexual violence, 91, 97, 239
Sexuality Information and Education Council of the United States (SIECUS), 22
sexual pleasure, 137
sexual revolution, 22
shame (sexual shame), 14–15, 199, 208, 268–69
after marriage, 138
author’s, and sexuality, 6, 7, 187–88, 249–54
behavioral issues related to, 203
body shame, 91–92, 153
brain encoding of, 14–15
freezing up or sense of stasis and, 199–215
as hidden or unnoticed, 16–17
judgmentalism and, 66, 221
language of, 10, 14
masturbation and, 122–28, 145
modesty doctrine and, 92
physical reaction to, 223–28
PTSD-like symptoms in women and, 8, 16, 170, 172
purity movement’s shame-based sexual ethic, 8–10, 9n, 12–17, 21, 26, 30, 77, 138, 173, 197–98, 209, 214–15, 235, 268–69, 270, 280
“the purity myth” and, 76
race and, 265
religiously rooted, impact on lives, 17, 90, 150–59, 170, 173
rewiring the brain to overcome, 252–53
self-esteem affected by, 7, 15, 109, 112–13, 153–54, 160–61, 194, 203, 270
sex guilt as, 28n
sex/shame brain trap, 183–98
sexual abuse and, 88–89, 95, 96
sexual dysfunction and, 6–7, 184, 186–87, 198
sexual thoughts and, 13, 124, 212–13
shame triggers, 210–13
shaming experiences akin to trauma, 15–16, 240
spike in young people experiencing, 173–74
what it is, 14
in young evangelicals, 193–94
Silver Ring Thing, 23, 24
federal funds for, 24
Simpson, Jessica, 11
sin
anger as, 108
Bible on, 158
blaming the victim and, 96
complementarianism and, 109
confession of/testimony story, 232, 241
cultural basis of, 260
marital problems blamed on, 129, 139
masturbation as, 122–23, 124, 125, 127, 147
pride as, 109
prophylactics as sinful, 195n
purity movement and, 51, 117
sex as, 11–12, 134–35, 146, 196, 264
sexual pleasure as, 124, 126, 129
sin-leveling, 91
sin nature, 124
slippery slope, 134–35
Smart, Elizabeth, 237–38
Solomon’s Porch, 23
Soul of Shame, The (Thompson), 14–15, 208
Southern Baptist Church, 27, 274
Southern Baptist Convention, 19, 162, 162n
True Love Waits and, 25
views on women, 162, 162n
Southern Seminary, 162
Sovereign Grace Ministries (blog), 266
spiritual abuse, 91
Spotlight (film), 93
STIs (sexually transmitted infections, also called STDs), 22
Stiver, Irene, 202–3
Stewart, Martha, 184–85
stumbling blocks
Biblical reference, 3
definition of, 3
judgmentalism as, 30
No Shame Movement and overcoming, 265
purity culture’s, for girls, 30–31, 61–73
“the purity myth,” 76–79
Romans 14 and, 29–30
strict gender role expectations, 61–62
women’s sexuality as, 30, 43–44, 107, 108
women’s sexuality eliciting men’s lust, 3, 3n, 4, 86, 92, 235
wrongful classification of rape and other forms of sexual violence, 91
“you are the problem,” 51, 52, 61, 122, 138, 161, 200–202 (see also post-traumatic stress disorder)
suffering, 41–42, 46
Christianity and, 51–52
female martyrs, 42
goodness and, 54–55
as one’s own fault, 51, 52
as way to Christ, 143, 148
support groups and therapy, 174–77
online platforms, 175–77
psychotherapists, 174–75
SurvJustice, 95
synesthesia, 216–17
T
Tennant, Agnieszka, 118–19, 119n
testimony story, 11, 11n, 241
Thank God for Sex (thankgodforsex.org), 174n
This American Life (radio show), 234
Thompson, Curt, 26
The Soul of Shame, 14–15, 208
Tidd, Mark, 271
Title V abstinence-only-until-marriage program, 22, 25
Totem and Taboo (Freud), 3n
trauma, 170, 240, 243
brain’s reaction to, 15–16
dementors (in Harry Potter books) and, 239
Religious Trauma Syndrome, 171
sexual abuse and, 173–74, 239
sexual purity movement and, 8
shame as, 15–16, 240
See also post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)
True Love Waits, 25, 43, 260–61
U
Unitarian Universalist Association (UUA), 276
United Church of Christ (UCC), 271, 276
University of Wisconsin–Madison, 87, 94
Uram, Shelley, 15–16
V
vaginismus, 141
Valenti, Jessica
The Purity Myth, 76, 129
Violence Against Women Reauthorization Act, 95
virginity, 12n, 76–77, 86, 90, 129, 219
marital sex and, 137
rape and loss of, 237–38
sexual activity and, 193–95
sexuality education and, 151
“technical,” 194
virginity fetishism and, 76–77
W
Wellesley College, Stone Center, 203
Wesleyan Quadrilateral, 283n
What’s the Difference? (Piper), 164
Wheeler, Barbara, 18–19
White House Task Force to Protect Students Against Sexual Assault, 95
Williams, Layton E., 166–67
Winell, Marlene, 140–41, 171
women’s issues, 161–79
evangelical women leaving the church over, 168–69
intersection of women’s rights and religion, 161–62
intimidation of assertive women, 163–66
at Southern Seminary, 162–63
Wright, Verdell A., 263, 269
Y
Year of Biblical Womanhood, A (Evans), 41–42
Youth & Society journal
study on religious institutions and support for women, 108
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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Names: Klein, Linda Kay, author.
Title: Pure : inside the evangelical movement that shamed a generation of young women and how I broke free / Linda Kay Klein.
Description: First Touchstone hardcover edition. | New York : Touchstone, 2018. | Includes bibliographical references and index. |
Identifiers: LCCN 2018005457 (print) | LCCN 2018028718 (ebook) | ISBN 9781501124839 (eBook) | ISBN 9781501124815 (hardcover) | ISBN 9781501124822 (pbk.)
Subjects: LCSH: Women in Christianity. | Evangelicalism. | Christian women—Sexual behavior. | Sex—Religious aspects—Christianity. | Women’s rights—Religious aspects—Christianity.
Classification: LCC BV639.W7 (ebook) | LCC BV639.W7 K556 2018 (print) | DDC 261.8/357—dc23
LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2018005457
ISBN 978-1-5011-2481-5
ISBN 978-1-5011-2483-9 (ebook)