Almost Just Friends

by Jill Shalvis

  After they’d finished painting, he’d kissed her good night, and it’d been her to deepen the kiss. He’d given a low, rough, sexy male growl of approval and pressed her up against a dry wall to free up his hands. And goodness, those talented, knowing hands . . . She’d been desperately trying to get down to bare skin when her phone had gone off. One of the other EMTs had gone home sick and they’d needed Piper immediately.

  Now, in the light of day, with her good spots still quivering at the midnight memories, she added a new item to her list:

  Discover Cam’s best body part.

  When she realized she was smiling wickedly, she shook her head. She’d finally cracked, no doubt from a deadly lack of orgasms. But hey, that was a fixable problem. And if she got it together before Cam left Wildstone, she could fix it with him. Hmm. Maybe she should start a list on how exactly to make that happen. Or where she wanted it to happen . . . With a grin, she wrote: Have sex not on a bed . . . Then a shadow fell over her.

  She jumped and slammed the journal shut as Cam sat down next to her.

  He studied her face, his own amused. “I’d give a lot of money to know what you were just writing.”

  She lifted a shoulder. “Making a shopping list.”

  He shook his head. “You’re a terrible liar.”

  This was true, and she felt her cheeks burn. “It’s got nothing to do with you.”

  “Wow. Lies on lies. Now I really want to know.” Leaning in, his mouth brushed her earlobe. “Bet I could get it out of you.”

  If he kept doing that, the truth wasn’t the only thing he’d get out of her. And where was Winnie? She looked around. No sister in sight. What the hell?

  “You waiting for someone?” Cam asked.

  “Winnie. And she’s late. What are you doing here?”

  He opened his mouth, but her stomach growling loudly beat him to it.

  With a smile, Cam opened the basket and pulled out the cheese and crackers, and got busy with a knife.

  She devoured the first cheesed-up cracker he handed her, and he quickly made her another.

  This time she managed to slow down enough that he was able to make one for himself in between feeding her. When he stopped to suck some cheese off his thumb, the sound made her shiver.

  Noting her squirm, he smiled, and his eyes seemed to darken with heat. “You okay?”

  She decided not to answer on the grounds she might incriminate herself, but when he held out another loaded cracker, she bit his finger, making him laugh.

  “Careful,” he warned. “Payback’s a bitch.”

  That gave her an anticipatory shiver. Seriously, his voice alone could give her an orgasm. And by the look on his face, he knew it too. She busied herself with eating, and he laughed again, softly, knowingly.

  Next time she’d bite him harder.

  “You’ve been putting in long hours.” With this, he gave her yet another cracker. “Both at work and at home.”

  He was making sure she was eating, she realized, discombobulated by the barrage of sweet and sexy from him. He made her dizzy, in the best of ways. “I need to get everything fixed up sooner than later.”

  He nodded. “Are you going to rent the cottages out, then?”

  “Sell. I need out from the huge overhead.”

  “Oh,” he said, seeming surprised.

  “Why?”

  He shook his head. “Nothing.”

  “Feels like something.”

  “Have you talked to Gavin and Winnie about selling?”

  “No. Up until this latest visit home, they’ve shown no interest in what happens to the place. So I figured they’d be excited about having their portion of the profit.”

  “Maybe you should talk to them about it.”

  She shrugged. “As you’ve seen firsthand, we don’t do ‘talk’ so well. Oh, and I tried the listening thing. It’s . . . a work in progress.”

  He looked like he one hundred percent understood that. And she knew he did, and that also, he missed Rowan. Scooting closer, she reached out her hand, which he took in his and squeezed in silent thanks. And now suddenly she didn’t want to bite him so much as she wanted to hug him.

  Digging into the basket, he came up with some grapes, which he shared with her. “What happens if you sell?”

  “We’d divide the profit three ways, which should leave me with more than enough to follow my dream of going to college to become a physician assistant. The sale would hopefully cover the move and tuition at the University of Colorado.”

  “When do you start?”

  “The program has six start times a year, so it just depends on when I get it all together. It’s about the money at this point. I need to have enough to cover myself for the two-year program, and I need Gavin and Winnie to have enough that they won’t need me to supplement them.”

  He ate a few grapes. “You’re a good sister.”

  “One who’s made a lot of mistakes.”

  “Such as?”

  “Being too tough on them, and maybe not affectionate enough. I never had the time to really listen to them. I was just hyperfocused on not screwing up all our lives.”

  “You did your best.” He shrugged. “Besides, we all have our faults.”

  “Yeah? What’s yours?”

  He looked at her for a long moment. Instead of answering, he went back into the basket and pulled out a bottle of wine. He held it up and she nodded, so he poured them both a glass.

  “Are you trying to say you have no faults?” she asked.

  He snorted. “I’m definitely not saying that.”

  “Well, then?”

  He cocked his head and studied her. “Maybe I don’t want to tell the woman I’m insanely attracted to exactly what those faults are.”

  That gave her body a shot of pure lust. How many times had she been told by a sexy man that he was insanely attracted to her? Exactly zero. To cover up her reaction, she gestured at him with her glass of wine. “But you do admit you have them.”

  “I’m human, aren’t I?”

  She’d been teasing, but her smile faded because he wasn’t. He’d fooled her for a moment, distracting her, but yeah, he was still grieving. And who wouldn’t be? She lightly nudged her shoulder to his. “I’ve got lots of faults. I’m impatient, single-minded to the point of distraction, hate to be vulnerable, which means I avoid real conversations, and . . .”

  He raised a brow when she trailed off. “Don’t stop now, it’s just getting good.”

  Drawing a deep breath, she admitted her truth. “Despite what you seem to think, I’m not a great older sister.”

  He cocked his head, his gaze warm but curious, and utterly devoid of judgment. “Let me recap what I know. You came here with Winnie and Gavin when you were just a kid yourself. You had your grandma’s help for a while, but you mostly raised them on your own. Yeah?”

  She nodded, and he squeezed her hand.

  “In my book, that makes you a great sibling, and possibly the best person I’ve ever met.”

  She took a deep gulp of the wine. The shockingly good wine. She looked at the bottle. “Wait a minute. Winnie hates wine. Why would she buy herself such a good one?”

  “Probably because she didn’t buy it.”

  She lifted her head and stared at him. “Because . . . you bought it? You set all this up?”

  He held the eye contact. “No.”

  She stared at him some more, and then it hit her. “Ohmigod, you think I did this?”

  “Didn’t you?”

  She closed her eyes. “She set us up. I’m going to have to kill her.” Standing, she looked around, certain they were being spied on by her annoying, meddling, interfering sister.

  Cam stood too. “Okay, so you didn’t do this.”

  She moaned. “I don’t know what’s worse, that you think I did and then denied it, or that Winnie thought I needed so much help getting your attention that she had to put it all together for me.”

  That got her a smile. “Tr
ust me, you do just fine attracting me all on your own.”

  “Yeah?”

  “Oh, yeah.” He nodded his chin toward the tire swing. “That thing safe?”

  “I hope so. Gavin and Winnie spent a bunch of years on it. If you get some good momentum going, you can fling yourself pretty far into the water.”

  “As competitive as you are, I bet you went the farthest.”

  “I’m not that competitive.”

  He practically rolled his eyes out loud.

  “Okay,” she conceded with a laugh. “I am. But I never used the swing.”

  “Why not?”

  Well, this was awkward. She started to turn back to pack everything up, but he stopped her by taking her hand in his.

  “Hey,” she said. “If you don’t have to tell your secrets, I sure as hell don’t have to tell mine.”

  He considered her for a beat. “How about this? A secret for a secret.”

  She narrowed her eyes in doubt, but he looked genuine, and she realized this might actually be too good a deal to pass up. “Okay,” she said, but then grimaced, because this was embarrassing. “I misdirected you when we were at the beach. The water thing . . . it is a phobia. I’m . . . ridiculously and overwhelmingly terrified of deep water.”

  His brows went up in surprise.

  “What, you think I’m not afraid of anything?”

  “I don’t think you often admit it,” he said. “That’s what surprised me. As for the phobia, that was perfectly clear.”

  She moaned and covered her face.

  He pulled her hands free. “Tell me what happened.”

  “Why do you assume something happened?”

  “Call it a hunch. Plus, you just crossed your arms and looked away.”

  Dammit. She dropped her arms. “One secret at a time. And it’s your turn.”

  “Okay . . .” He paused. “I called in a favor and got some extra leave time. I’ve got another three weeks from the DEA, though I’ll still have to fly out for Coast Guard training for a few days. But I’ll be back.”

  She stared at him, absorbing that news.

  “Look at that,” he said. “I just left you speechless.”

  Yes, and he’d also just changed the rhythm of her heartbeat. “To help your dad?”

  “Among other things.”

  “Such as?”

  He just looked at her.

  Oh. Oh, wow. She went a little warm and mushy in some spots, while other areas, such as her brain, started to panic, snagging the very air in her throat so that she couldn’t breathe.

  “Yeah. Now you’re getting it,” he murmured, apparently a mind reader now, and he touched his wineglass to hers with a soft clink.

  They drank, and then he set his glass aside and took hers to do the same. He pulled her into him and was lowering his mouth to hers when she put a hand on his chest.

  “Problem?” he murmured.

  Um, she wasn’t sure. Her heart was pounding, and then there was anxiety and worry chasing each other through her veins. To distract from that, she said, “If Winnie did this, she’s watching.”

  Cam looked around and shook his head.

  “Trust me.” She hurriedly began to gather everything, shoving it all back into the basket.

  He was sticking around for longer.

  For her.

  He liked her, maybe as much as she liked him. Which was a good thing, right? So why then did she feel the need to retreat and take a moment to think too hard? “Sorry,” she said as they walked back.

  “For?”

  “For cutting things short.”

  He gave her a long look.

  “What?”

  “I thought maybe you were going to admit you just freaked out when I told you I’m going to be around for a bit longer.”

  She stared at him, mouth ready to deny it, but . . . she couldn’t.

  Because he was right.

  Chapter 16

  “Let’s see what you’re packing.”

  Gavin led an annoyed, grumpy CJ through the dark on the trail around the lake.

  “When are you going to tell me what the hell we’re doing?”

  It was midnight, quickly becoming Gavin’s favorite time in Wildstone. “You work too hard.”

  CJ laughed roughly. “What does that have to do with anything? You showed up at the end of my shift, insisted I come here to the lake with you, that you had something of vital importance to show me. So? What is it?”

  The cop was in street clothes tonight. Sexy jeans. Long-sleeved button down opened over a T-shirt advertising CJ’s brother’s motorcycle shop. Bad ’tude all over his face, which came, no doubt, from a tough shift. And possibly a general pissiness from feeling things for Gavin that he didn’t want to feel. Overall look: hot as hell.

  CJ hated to be managed. Gavin knew this because he was the same. So if anyone in the world understood CJ’s current mood, it was Gavin. He stopped and stripped out of his shirt, then kicked off his boots.

  CJ just shook his head. “Are you crazy? It’s February.”

  “Yes and yes. It’s also still sixty degrees. We’ve done this in far colder weather.”

  “This being . . . ?”

  “Skinny-dipping.” Gavin smiled. “You telling me you don’t remember?”

  CJ didn’t budge. He also kept his emotions close to the vest. Whatever he was thinking, he wasn’t about to share. “The last time we did this,” he finally said, “we were young and stupid. And high.”

  Gavin laughed. “Come on, old man. Strip. Let’s see what you’re packing.”

  “You already know. You’ve seen it all before, most recently the other night.”

  Gavin had no idea why, when the guy was acting all buttoned up, that it totally turned him on. Clearly, he was mental. Proving it, he just smirked. “Some things bear repeating.” He unbuttoned his jeans.

  CJ raised a brow.

  A challenge. And Gavin Manning had done a lot of things, but he’d never backed down from a challenge, even when he should have. So he shoved his pants down and off, and then gestured for CJ to get on with it.

  CJ took in the sight, which was more than slightly gratifying.

  “Well?” Gavin asked. “Am I doing this alone?”

  “You avoided my question.”

  No shit. “Which one?” he asked innocently.

  CJ just shook his head at him.

  “Right. The whole ‘what are we doing’ thing.” Gavin decided not to press his luck. “Spending time together.”

  “We already tried that when we were kids. It went spectacularly wrong.”

  It had. And all of it had been Gavin’s fault. “Maybe I want to see if it could go spectacularly right this time.” He held his breath while trying to look cool and nonchalant—not easy when bare-assed naked, by the way.

  Their gazes locked and held for a long beat. Gavin waited for another objection, but one didn’t come. Finally, CJ swore and muttered to himself, but tugged off both his shirts and tossed them aside.

  Gavin smiled.

  CJ rolled his eyes and lost the rest of his clothes, and Gavin blessed the moonlight that gave him a front-row view of the only body that had ever driven him crazy.

  Beneath the moon, they stood on the tire swing together and catapulted themselves into the water. They raced, swimming their asses off to the rocks about a hundred yards out. They bodysurfed on the swells. They spent time, hours of it, just . . . being.

  Later, much later, lying flat on their backs in the wild grass staring up at the stars, CJ reached for Gavin’s hand. “Thanks.”

  Gavin turned on his side and propped his head up with a hand, smiling. “Anytime.”

  This tugged a rough laugh from CJ. “I meant for . . .” He shook his head. “Look, I don’t make time for this stuff anymore. I don’t make much time for myself at all.”

  “All work and no fun?”

  “There’s more to life than hookups and fun, Gavin. I’m still not sure you get that.”


  “I do.” Gavin ran a finger along CJ’s set jaw. “I’m done with that life, Ceej. There’s nothing for me there anymore, nothing but emptiness and loneliness and trouble.”

  “How do you know you’re done with it?”

  “Because I’ve been lucky enough in my life to have it all, and then stupid enough to throw it away and have to live with that. I’ve seen both sides. I guess some of us have to sink as low as we can sink before understanding what life’s really about.”

  “And what’s life really about?” CJ asked.

  “It’s about being with the people you care about most, about living in the present with honesty and no regrets.” Gavin managed a half smile. “Or at least as few regrets as possible.”

  CJ stared up at him for a long beat and then pulled Gavin on top of him. “Then here’s to as few regrets as possible.”

  And that was the last time they communicated, at least with words, for the rest of the night.

  THE NEXT MORNING, Piper groaned her way out of bed at the crack of dawn. The new locks for the front doors on the cottages had arrived the day before and she wanted to get started on installing them.

  And not because she hadn’t slept, thinking about Cam’s accusation that she was running scared. True, by the way, and she hated that.

  She staggered into the kitchen seeking caffeine. She stopped short at the sight of Gavin and Winnie. “Seriously,” she said. “The two of you are starting to worry me.”

  “I’ve got work,” Gavin said. “I’m working with Cam on the books. The job’s small, only a few hours here and there, which is great, but not enough for me. So I’ve also got a few other job interviews today.”

  Piper blinked. “In Arizona?”

  Gavin and Winnie exchanged a look. “No,” Gavin said. “Here. One in Wildstone, another in San Luis Obispo. Both IT entry-level positions with sucky wages, but they’re something. I want to be able to contribute to the household.”

  “And I’m working too,” Winnie said.

  “Oh? On another ambush?”

  Winnie had the good grace to look a little contrite. “I was just trying to help.”

  “Well, don’t.”

  “Fine.” Winnie rose. “I’ve got to get to work too.”

  “Where?” Piper asked.

  “Here. And the good news is that I’m cheap. Free, to be exact.”