All I Ask
Page 6
When Aria let her eyes wander over the seats, she realized many other people were waiting expectantly for them to begin. She looked at Christine, hoping the young woman would offer an answer.
“Stage-fright? I get it. That’s why I’m a stage manager as opposed to a performer,” she whispered.
“No. I mean, maybe a little. But who are all these people?”
“Oh, that’s the rest of the cast; they all received their calls and offers over the weekend, there are only three parts left uncast. Whichever one of you ladies don’t land the lead will be the understudy and play the role of the best friend. It’ll be great, you’ll see. Give them a hint of the caliber they’re working with,” she offered a bright smile.
Aria swallowed. Drew couldn’t help himself from touching her. He’d been reading every article he could get his hands on about Aria in the time they’d been apart. Drew was fascinated by the young woman. He placed his hands on her shoulders from behind. Aria froze. He gently massaged the tension until she turned to face him.
“You’ll be great, Aria. You may not remember me as much as you recall my brother, but I remember you. You’ve always possessed a talent beyond your years,” Drew’s warm words brought her a measure of comfort.
“Thank you. And trust me, Drew, I remember you well. You’re a bit older now though, you’ve got to be, like, thirty now?”
“Easy! Twenty-nine is as close as I intend to admit, thank you very much.”
They shared a laugh as he took her hand and led her on stage. Aria took a deep, cleansing breath and released it before turning to face Drew and begin their final audition. They would be acting the scene that prefaced the closing number of the play. It was an exchange between the living female lead and the spirit of her dead lover.
“Do you have any idea how it feels to watch you live your life when I’m stuck in the darkness?” Drew demanded.
“And how do you think it feels for me?” Aria allowed her voice to waver.
Drew looked at her with a powerfully sad expression. It was nothing short of heartbreaking; he was talented. Aria turned her head away as the score began to set the mood lightly. Drew came close enough to touch, but he kept his hands to himself.
“If only I could hold you again,” he whispered.
Aria looked at him once more. She knew the character she played was supposed to be torn between continuing to live her life or abandoning it all to join her lover in the afterlife. It was a choice she had considered at one point when she felt there was nothing left to live for when all those she loved were already dead. Now she looked at the man who could easily have been in that house with her had he not been performing in an off-Broadway production of Newsies.
“If I die, I would be able to join you.”
“No! Don’t ever consider such a thing. No matter how much we want to be together you can’t end your own life to join me in the veil,” Drew’s desperation could have been real.
“If you’re not here, I don’t want to be here either.”
“You once asked me to love you forever, and I will. All I ask is for you to live,” the line was the cue for the orchestra to increase their volume and ease into the beginning of the song.
In this piece of music, Jill can imagine her lover holding her once again. Aria began the song with the soft tones of sadness it called for as Drew gently wrapped his arms around her from behind. It put her in mind of D’Angelo, and the night they sang that very song together. Aria closed her eyes and leaned back against Drew, pretending he was the man she wanted him to be. The song flowed naturally from her as she no longer had to fabricate the feelings needed to evoke the emotions of the song. Drew turned her to face him as their voices mingled in the finale of their duet.
Drew knew it wasn’t in the script, but he felt the moment present itself with their chemistry during the song. Aria was looking at him as though she truly loved him; the way she may have looked at Erik if he had been there. He pushed the thought from his mind. Erik was dead. He was real, and he was there with her. Drew gently touched her face, lifting her chin to the angle he needed. The kiss was intoxicating. He began it softly, tentatively then allowed it to deepen as she showed no resistance. When Aria allowed her hand to travel to Drew’s face, she realized her fantasy had been shattered by the smooth skin she found. The kiss came to an end with the sound of applause and catcalls. Aria opened her eyes to find Drew staring down at her with a sheepish grin on his face.
“Well, I’m not sure how D’Angelo will feel about the improvisation, but I’m smitten,” Drew whispered.
Aria offered a nervous laugh, “They always say the first kiss is the hardest obstacle to overcome on the stage.”
“I didn’t think it was too difficult,” Drew gave her a half-smile before wrapping his arm around her waist so they could take a bow.
“Genius!” Patrick was bounding up the steps at stage left, “Pure and utter genius. Though, I will tell you D’Angelo is a bit of a stickler for his scripts. I wouldn’t suggest going off-script again.”
Drew shrugged, “It felt right in the moment.”
Aria offered an embarrassed smile. Her head was spinning. She could still feel Drew’s lips moving against her own and taste the warmth of their tongues as they explored. It wasn’t something she expected, and she wasn’t sure how she felt about it. Her feelings were warring with each other. For a few moments, she let herself entertain the idea that if she couldn’t be with Erik, she could turn her affections toward Drew. D’Angelo didn’t seem to feel for her the way she felt for him; she wouldn’t be ending a relationship when there wasn’t one.
“Up next, we have the same scene played with Karen Moreau and Andrew Overland,” Patrick paused to shake a finger in Drew’s direction, “Stick to the script this time.”
Aria took a seat near the rest of the cast but kept herself somewhat distanced to avoid unwanted conversation. While she waited for the scene to begin, she glanced around the theater. She knew it was going to take a lot of work to renovate Durant Theater, but looking around at the auditorium she was taken by how much work her project needed. The beautiful statues and pillars starkly contrasted the red curtains and seats of the Majestic Theatre. A small movement caught her eye in the first box on the left-hand side of the theater. The outline of a man wearing black was just visible from her seat. D’Angelo was there. She felt the color drain from her face; he was there, and he’d witnessed Drew kissing her. She could practically feel his eyes on her as she returned her attention to the stage.
Karen and Andrew had great chemistry on the stage. Her delivery of the lines was more than believable than Aria’s had been. Their voices harmonized perfectly. Aria felt the decision coming before Patrick, and the others discussed their choice. She reminded herself that she hadn’t expected much from the audition to begin with; it was the first time she’d tried out for a Broadway production! Whether she was cast as the lead or as a supporting character, Aria would be content, even happy, with the outcome.
Patrick climbed the stairs to the stage and asked Aria to join him on the stage with the other two actors. Once they were all standing together, Aria prepared herself for the moment of truth.
“I’m pleased to announce that Karen Moreau will be joining Andrew Overland as the leading lady in our production. Aria Durant will be her understudy and taking the role of Molly, the best friend of our heroine!”
The applause represented the mixed feelings the cast displayed on their faces. Many of them felt the same way about Karen, she was more trouble than she was worth. Aria reminded herself that it was exciting for her to even be part of the production. When she looked up at the box again, D’Angelo was gone. It was impossible to guess what she’d be facing when she got back home, but she had a feeling they’d exchange some heated words. Aria sighed to herself.
Drew took her arm, “I’m not sure what they’re thinking. You were perfect. If I have anything to say about it, Karen will be out of the picture in no time.”
Aria laughed,
“It’s okay, really. I’m just glad I get to take part in the production.”
He shook his head and smiled at her, “You’re something else, Durant.”
Aria shrugged. She didn’t want to become one of those actresses who threw a fit over casting. This was her first role in a Broadway production. She wasn’t about to turn it down because she didn’t get the lead. As Aria left the Majestic Theatre, she couldn’t help but smile. She hoped D’Angelo would choose to be happy for her rather than focusing on the unexpected kiss.
The smile that stayed on her face all the way home faded as she entered the passcode for the back door. She knew D’Angelo had been at the theater for her first audition and saw him at the theater after Drew kissed her.
Once inside, the first thing she noted was that the stage lights which she had left on were off once more. D’Angelo was there. She could feel him. He watched her walk onto the stage with a confidence that belied her embarrassment at what he witnessed on the stage of the Majestic Theatre.
“Congratulations,” the tone was ice cold.
“Gee, I almost believed you,” Aria replied without stopping on her way across the pitch-black stage.
“You can’t seriously be interested in that hipster, can you?” He demanded.
“And what if I am?” She challenged.
“Aria, can’t you see he’s trying to take advantage of you?”
She turned around to face the direction from which his voice came, “Really? And what gives you that idea?”
“Andrew Overland is a sycophant. Surely you must know that.”
“Oh? I haven’t seen him in years, how on earth would I know what he’s like?”
D’Angelo released a frustrated huff. Aria knew more was bothering him than his opinion of Drew. He wasn’t ready to admit that watching her with Drew was too much for him. D’Angelo wanted Aria to be his and his alone.
"You know, if seeing Drew kissing me bothered you so much, maybe you should do something about it."
"And what would you suggest I do about it?"
He was standing close enough that she could practically feel the anger coming from him in waves. Aria shrugged; all her bravery faded away in a fraction of a second. Every fiber of her being was begging him to understand that Drew wasn't the one she wanted.
"I didn't ask him to kiss me," Aria muttered.
"Well, you certainly didn't stop him, did you?" D’Angelo forced the words out as though trying to expel their bitter taste.
"No," Aria whispered, "We were acting."
"I believe your director told you how I feel about not following the scripts I’ve written."
She couldn't tell him that the entire time she was singing, it wasn't Drew who sang with her, but Aria couldn’t say she was acting either. When D’Angelo first told her to think of a person or situation that summoned the feelings she needed to sing a piece, it was always her memories of Erik. On that stage, everything had changed, and the first person to come into her mind was D’Angelo. If she told him that, she would have to admit what she had been thinking about while Drew held her on that stage.
"It wasn't in the script, you’re right. Drew said it felt right."
D’Angelo was seething. He wanted nothing more than to tell her how watching the scene unfold on the stage had affected him, but he couldn't. He wanted Aria to belong to him in a way he could never fully express. Seeing someone like Andrew take her into his arms and kiss her so passionately made D’Angelo want to scoop her up and hide her away from anything that may harm her. He couldn’t do that, he couldn’t protect her from herself.
"Tell me why it bothers you so much," Aria begged. "Why do you care so much about this?"
He was silent. The only sound that could be heard between them was the rhythmic beat of their breath. Aria was beyond frustrated with him. He hadn’t told her he felt anything for her, but she could feel it in the way D’Angelo spoke, in the way he hugged her the night before. The tension between them was more than she could bear.
"Don't move, promise me," he whispered.
"Why?"
"Trust me," he was closer to her than she expected.
"Okay, I trust you."
Aria felt her heart rate increase as she waited to find out what he was going to do. He was impossibly close to her. A hand gently caressed her cheek; she knew he was wearing gloves. Yet another barrier he put up between them. The faint scent of leather drifted into her nose as she fought the urge to lean into his touch.
"I'm sure you've wondered why I insist we practice in the dark," he murmured as his other hand traveled down to her waist. "Of course, I meant what I told you about how your body processes information when you're robbed of your sight. But it's more than that."
Aria drew in a ragged breath, her hands balled into her shirt to keep her from reaching for him. It was nearly impossible. She took another deep breath and tried desperately to exhale calmly through her nose.
"There are things about me that you can't know. You would be disgusted if you could see me," D’Angelo gently brought his hand from her cheek to grip the base of her neck.
"Why?" She managed to whisper.
He laughed softly, and the sensation of his breath against her skin sent her reeling. Aria's breath hitched as he gently placed his lips against her forehead. She was enraptured. He’d pulled her close enough that he moved to rest his chin on top of her head. Aria took in his scent again.
"I'm not the kind of man you would want. This isn't a face that would earn your affection."
Very little thought went into what happened next. Aria couldn't say that she decided to go against his request, it was more like a reflex. She tilted her head up at the same moment he realized what she was going to do. It wasn't clear to him if he had no time to stop her or if the part of him that wanted to cross that threshold was stronger. Aria gently pressed her lips to his, and the heartbreak that tore through him was too much. All thought was abandoned. They were lost in a dream from which neither wanted to wake. His hands roamed down her back but soon returned to grab the back of her head. Aria was hopelessly lost. D’Angelo returned to his senses far sooner than she wanted him to. Their kiss ended with both of them breathless and wanting more.
"You broke your promise," his voice sounded desperate when he finally found it.
"I didn't mean to, I swear," Aria whispered.
Neither spoke for a few moments. Everything inside Aria felt heavy, the feeling of unspent desire. In the darkness between them, Aria could almost swear every nerve ending was shooting electricity between them.
"Why?" It was more a desperate plea than a simple question.
"Because you've made me feel things I thought were impossible."
"No. I showed you how to find the feelings you repressed in an effort to protect yourself," D’Angelo replied with bitter understanding.
"You can't tell me you don't feel anything for me. No one has ever. . .I've never. . .you were so worried about my kiss with Drew? It was nothing compared to this."
"What are you saying?" He sounded as though he was fighting back tears.
"I don't love him," it was the safest way for her to express what was in her heart.
"Love him? You don’t even know him!”
“You’re missing the point,” Aria waited for him to catch up to her train of thought.
“This cannot happen again, there are some lines that we can’t come back from once we’ve passed the point of no return.”
“Got it. So, I’m not allowed to be interested in Drew, but being with you would cross a line. Clear as mud,” Aria shot her words out. “Listen, I need to go get changed. Drew asked me to dinner tonight, and I think I’m going to take him up on that offer.”
D’Angelo didn’t say another word. The sound of angry footsteps trailed away from her until she heard nothing but her own breathing. She had lived enough years straddling the space between darkness and light; if the darkness wouldn’t have her, she would have to step into the light.
Aria was practicing more than the rest of the cast because she had to be prepared to step into the lead role if she was needed. That meant she and Drew spent time practicing together when the rest of the cast was done. Her co-star wasn’t shy about his interest in her. So many members of the cast commented on the natural chemistry between them that Aria herself began to question simple interactions. Aria wondered how many of her practice sessions and conversations were overheard by D’Angelo. He may not be speaking to her, but she was sure he was always there.