Lone Wolf (The Pack Book 5)

by Kristin Coley

  I glanced back at the bed where Gran sprawled inelegantly and knew we needed to cover our tracks. Change her into her nightgown, tuck her under the covers, and pretend we have no idea what she’s talking about when she asks, I finally said, my legs quivering under my own weight.

  Can you make it into the kitchen? Paige questioned doubtfully, caught between me and Gran, and I nodded to make her decision easier.

  There’s nothing there to eat, but I can make it, I replied, attempting a smile, but it fell flat.

  Paige smiled mysteriously as she said, Second shelf on the left. I eyeballed her but she didn’t say anything more as I made my way to the kitchen, using the walls for support. I opened the cabinet she’d mentioned and almost squealed when I saw what she’d hidden there. I ripped the tin lid off the can and pulled out a Vienna sausage, popping it into my mouth, and moaned in satisfaction.

  I demolished the can before she came in the room and she shook her head when she saw me licking my fingers. Did you wash your hands at least? My finger hovered next to my mouth as I gave her a sheepish look. She rolled her eyes and walked to the cabinet, digging deeper than I had. Here. She thrust a can of Spam at me and my eyes lit up. For Caleb, she stated and my mouth curled in a pout. What’s your deal with him?

  He broke a promise, I answered thoughtlessly, the sting sharper than I would have ever imagined. I’d been angry at him for creating the connection but now that he’d severed it without my consent I was….I exhaled, unsure how I felt.

  You’re sad, Paige noted as I leaned against the counter. Her eyes narrowed as she tilted her head. And betrayed? It came out as a question, but instead of explaining Caleb’s role in my emotional state, I told her what I’d seen with Strickland.

  He’s working with hunters? Paige repeated, bumping into the table as she sank down onto a chair. Strickland? Hunters? She seemed as baffled as I had been by the knowledge, but anger quickly overtook her confusion. Do you think…her lips turned white as she pressed them together, eyeing me. You? She shook her head, quickly amending her half spoken question. Do you think Strickland is planning to give you to the hunters?

  I shrugged, not liking the thought but….Who else?

  Paige stood abruptly, her fists clenched as her hair started to swirl around her face and I leaned back, the counter preventing me from going far as her eyes glowed brighter than I’d ever witnessed, so bright they outshined Gran. He can try, she hissed, her normally clear voice almost guttural.

  Whoa, sister. We don’t know that for a fact…so maybe dial it down? Just a smidge, I held my fingers apart an inch, feeling her power pulsing in the air, so strong it was lifting my hair. It was easy to forget how strong Paige was, especially standing on family ground, where she could draw on our mother’s power, a power she should have inherited directly if not for the method of our mother’s death. She didn’t relax and I raised my hands. He’s not going to win, I told her. He can’t take me. We won’t let it happen. Together, I gestured between us, me and you, together forever, remember?

  Some of the tension eased from her face, and the strong scent of ozone started to fade as her power diminished slowly. I could use a shot of that juice, I joked, grabbing a glass from the counter and filling it with water to hide the faint trembling of my hand.

  Paige could level the village if she wanted, a fact Gran seemed content to turn a blind eye to, but the possibility never left my mind, not with our mother’s death etched in my memory.

  Here. Her intention dawned on me a second too late as she touched my arm and a jolt shot through me. The sensation might be compared to sticking your finger in an electrical outlet except I’d never done that since we didn’t have electricity. Generators were our main source of power and those weren’t reliable or used every day, but the surge of power Paige sent through me would have been enough to light every house for a year.

  Are you okay?

  Her voice rang in my ears as I blinked, wooden logs dancing in my vision as I tried to figure out what I was seeing. Paige’s face loomed over me and I realized I was on the floor and the dancing logs were the ceiling.

  I’m alive….I think. My nose twitched at the overwhelming smell of gunpowder, and I touched my face gingerly, almost expecting it not to be there.

  I didn’t know that would happen, Paige cried out, her hands hovering over me as she tried to decide if touching me again was a good idea.

  Ah, let’s not, I suggested as she was about to pat my arm. My skin felt like it was crackling and energy coursed through me. It was almost as if she’d just charged my internal battery, except she’d almost fried the battery.

  Oh, okay, she replied, tucking her hands under her armpits. Sorry. Remorse lined her face and I nodded reassuringly.

  I’m fine, I lied adroitly. Brings new meaning to being buzzed. I stood up, quite positive I could fly if I wanted there was so much energy zipping through me. You pack a punch, sister. She frowned and I forced a soothing smile. I’m gonna go check on Caleb, I told her. You stay here in case Gran wakes up.

  What do I tell her? Paige asked, her eyes filled with panic.

  Nothing, I replied, giving her a warning stare. You tell her nothing. You have no idea where she was, or what she was doing. As far as you know, she was in bed.

  You think she’ll buy that, Paige asked doubtfully.

  I shrugged. She has no choice. I walked to the door or possibly floated, since I wasn’t sure my feet were touching the ground.

  Don’t forget his Spam, Paige reminded me and I hid a grimace, turning back around to pick up the can, almost afraid I’d fry the Spam right in the can when I touched it. You’re sure you’re okay?

  Never better, I answered, my toes digging into the ground, an irresistible urge to run coming over me. Now, go to bed, I ordered and she saluted. I shut the door, then let my feet fly across the yard and I leaped over the remnants of a campfire, landing with a bounce. Energy flowed through me, disguising the fact that my belly was still hungry, and I’d almost died not once but twice that night.

  I didn’t bother to walk down the stairs, instead jumping and landing in a crouch right in front of Caleb’s cell. His eyes popped open in surprise and I tossed the Spam to him. He caught it easily as I snapped my fingers. “I forgot clothes.”

  He peeled the lid off the Spam, digging into it with his fingers as he eyed me. “Sure that wasn’t an intentional oversight?” Dirty pants hung low on his hips, highlighting the defined planes of his abdomen – muscles that were so well defined because he was starving and dehydrated.

  “It wasn’t,” I assured him, dropping my gaze so I couldn’t be accused of ogling him. He offered me the can and I shook my head.

  “I ate,” I informed him and his gaze skimmed over me.

  “Not enough,” he replied, finishing off the gelatinous meat mixture and tossing the can on the ground. “I’m sorry I broke our bond without warning,” he said, surprising me. He came to the bars, hooking his wrists over them. “That wasn’t fair of me.” I moved my shoulder in a barely visible shrug, trying to pretend like it didn’t matter and he shook his head. “I didn’t want to do it.”

  “You were trying to save my life,” I whispered, knowing it was true. He nodded. “Why does it hurt so much?”

  He inhaled deeply, holding the breath for a long moment. “Because it’s a Pack bond, a mating bond. They aren’t taken lightly and they’re important to our mental well-being.”

  “You knew it would hurt,” I mentioned, fishing for information and finally he nodded.

  “I’ve experienced it before.”

  “A mate bond?” I questioned sharply, a sharp pang of some unfamiliar emotion going through me. He smiled like he knew what I was feeling, but quickly shook his head no.

  “A Pack bond. I’ve had to break a Pack bond before and it’s….hard,” he explained and I nodded.

  “Hard is one word for it,” I commented, touching my forehead. “It’s…I feel….lost.”

  “You never had a Pac
k,” he stated. “The mating bond between us,” he paused, searching for the right words, “It became more, it was a Pack bond too.”

  “It’s gone now.” The words came out unbearably sad and he closed his eyes, sucking in a sharp breath.

  “I didn’t want to do it.” I nodded, but didn’t speak. “I realized I was pulling strength from you. Dangerous amounts. Lethal.” He swallowed, his fingers restless. “I couldn’t…I couldn’t let you die. Not if I could prevent it.”

  “How did you know I would survive losing the bond?” I questioned, positive there were some who had died from the painful process. I lifted my eyes to his in time to see him smile grimly.

  “You are strong. So incredibly strong. Enduring the shift all these years. Living without a Pack? I knew you’d survive if only to come demand answers from me.”

  “But you didn’t know you would be alive to answer them.” He shook his head and I sighed, hating my next words but needing to say them anyway. “You can leave now.” I unlocked the cage as he blinked at me in surprise. “You broke the bond.” I rolled my shoulders. “There’s no reason for you to stay now.”

  He didn’t move, his stance stubborn and I lifted my hand. “You can go.”

  “No.”

  “Caleb. You have to go. You saw what she did tonight. You think she’s going to magically stop?” A mirthless chuckle escaped me. “This was just the beginning. It will only get worse.”

  “And you know this?”

  “I’ve lived it,” I answered without thinking and his eyes hardened. “Trust me, you want to go while you still can. Go be with your Pack. I’m sure they’re missing you.”

  “Not without you.”

  “Why? There’s no bond. You are free.”

  “What if I don’t want to be free?” He contended, moving to the open door, but stopping short of walking out. “What if I want to be with you?”

  “I’d think she broke you,” I muttered, staring at him like he was crazy. “Tonight should have shown you how incredibly dangerous being with me is. There is no happily ever after here, Caleb.” I moved so the door was clear but he stubbornly stayed inside the cell and my head dropped back as I sighed. “She definitely broke you.”

  “She didn’t break me,” he promised, taking my hand. “But she did clarify a few things in my head.” I tilted my head back down so I could look at him. “I don’t want to live without you.” I shook my head and he shrugged. “What can I say? I kissed you and I liked it.” He tugged on my hand. “This time I want us to know what we’re doing. What it means when we give the bite.”

  “You want us to….to do it again?” I asked in disbelief. “Do the whole mating bond thing again?” I yanked my hand from his and started to pace. “You have definitely lost your marbles, Captain America.”

  “C’mon, Princess. Isn’t there a part of you that feels the same way? I mean you did bite me first.”

  My mouth opened, but nothing came out as I pointed at him. What he said had some truth but with it came the memory of agonizing loss, a loss that rivaled only my parent’s deaths. I wasn’t sure I could survive that, not again, and there was zero guarantee it wouldn’t happen. If Caleb thought he was saving me, hell, if I thought it would save him, I’d break any bond in a heartbeat, but it would be the last thing I did.

  I shook my head, unable to articulate the emotions threatening to choke me, but absolutely not about to put myself through that again.

  “Okay, will you think about it?”

  “Will you go?” I asked and he shook his head, leaving us at an impasse. My fingers curled around the door of his cage and I swore they bent slightly under the pressure.

  “I’m not leaving without you, Princess.”

  I looked up at him, terrified for us both, and his head came down, slowly enough I could turn away, but I didn’t. His lips touched mine, his fingers gentle on my chin as he kissed me thoroughly, each press of his mouth against mine a promise, one I was scared he’d both keep and break. He eased his head back, a bittersweet smile on his face. “That should have been our first kiss.”

  I chewed on my bottom lip, blurting out the first thing that came to mind. “As long as it’s not our last.”

  He gave me a slow grin, his hand brushing a strand of hair from my face, as he said, “Not by a long shot, Princess.”

  I shook my head, leaning against the door to push it shut and he stepped back so he was within the cell’s perimeter. “If you’re not leaving, I guess that means I should lock you up,” I uttered, not liking the idea, but he only nodded, seemingly unconcerned at being imprisoned. “She’s gonna come back, you know.” He nodded again, his eyes glinting like he relished the idea, and I narrowed my own. “What aren’t you telling me?”

  “Nothing important,” he assured me, hands held up innocently. “Trust me. I can handle your grandmother.”

  An unwilling chuckle swelled in my chest at his statement, but I didn’t bother to contradict him. Instead, I slipped my hand through the bars, letting a key dangle from my fingertip. “In case you find out you can’t,” I offered innocently, the tightness in my chest easing as he accepted the key. “You dying would upset me.”

  He glanced down at the key in his hand. “Same here, Princess.”

  Strickland came by to see Gran! The words blasted through my head and from the way Caleb’s head jerked, I knew he’d heard them too.

  I’m on my way, I told Paige soothingly, stepping away from the bars.

  “Why does it matter if Strickland went to see your grandmother?” Caleb questioned, his tone suspicious.

  “She was just letting me know,” I answered offhandedly, not wanting to tell Caleb that it looked like Strickland might have betrayed us.

  “That’s not what it sounded like,” he replied, his gaze thoughtful. “She sounded scared.”

  I forced a smile. “Paige freaks out. It’s her thing.”

  “Uh huh.” His gaze tracked me as I headed for the stairs. “You can tell me, Dru. All I want is to keep you safe.”

  “Don’t worry,” I told him, pausing on the step, my gaze confident. “I’ve had twenty years of practice doing just that.”

  ***

  Oh thank goodness. Paige twisted her fingers together restlessly as my gaze swept the room.

  Where is he?

  He left, she answered immediately and I glanced at her. I told him Gran wasn’t available.

  Then why the urgent message? I questioned, trying not to grimace since clearly my presence wasn’t necessary.

  I thought you should know.

  My lips compressed, but somehow I managed not to shout. Has Gran woken up?

  Noooo, Paige drawled in relief. No sign of her.

  My eyebrows came down but I didn’t comment, giving Gran’s room a wary glance. There was a saying about letting sleeping bears lie, but I had a feeling that it didn’t matter when she woke up, none of us would be safe. Okay, I’m going to take a quick nap. I rubbed my gritty eyes, not sure I could sleep even though I was bone tired. Between Paige’s energy shot and Caleb’s kiss, my body felt like it was buzzing, but I needed sleep if I was going to recover completely. Wake me if something happens, I ordered and Paige’s head bobbed, her ponytail swinging.

  Will do.

  I nodded, crawling into the bed gratefully, the sun streaming in through the window not enough to bother me as I closed my eyes. Thoughts swirled like smoke, ephemeral and difficult to pin down, and I gave up trying as my mind shut down, the hours of strain taking their toll.

  ***

  “Why are you still asleep?” The venomous question was accompanied by an abrupt fall as I found myself lying on the floor. I lifted my head to find Gran standing in the doorway, her expression icy with disdain. “I will not allow a lazy lay-about in my home.”

  There was no point in explaining but I attempted to anyway. “I went hunting last night and didn’t return until dawn.”

  “And you have nothing to show for your hours of hunting?” She sneere
d, making it clear she doubted my explanation. “Strickland returned with two boars. A dangerous hunt, but one that will keep us fed for weeks.”

  Two weeks at best, I thought to myself, but didn’t bother correcting her. “I saw Strickland in the woods,” I said instead. “Funny thing, he was not alone.”

  Gran’s eyes widened the tiniest bit and something in my chest squeezed tight.

  She’d known.

  Strickland’s meeting with the hunters – it wasn’t at his behest but Gran’s. She’d invited hunters onto our land. The only question that remained was why and I knew I would never get a straight answer from her.

  Her eyes narrowed to slits and a cold sensation slithered down my spine. “Were you snooping?” She kept her voice low, but it did nothing to disguise the dangerous undercurrent. “Did you follow him, perhaps?” I shook my head slowly, barely breathing as she stepped closer. “Then how did you see Strickland in the woods? Did he sneak up on you?” I couldn’t answer as power filled the room, sealing out the oxygen with a pop. “Ungrateful child casting accusations, but can’t answer a simple question.” I struggled to breathe, but it was impossible as she stalked closer. “You’ve become defiant with the arrival of that wolf. Perhaps it’s time you were reminded of your place. A place you have only because of my generosity.”

  I couldn’t move as her power arced along my skin, a waterfall compared to the trickle I possessed, and my wolf cowered, unable to defy her command. I wanted to scream in protest, defend myself, but I couldn’t get off the ground, my knees glued to the hard floor as she closed in.

  Gran, Paige’s cheerful voice cut through the ringing in my ears and gave Gran pause. Where are you? I made your favorite….eggs and oatmeal. We heard her moving closer and Gran released her power with a snap, causing me to sprawl on the floor in a heap. Paige appeared in the doorway, acting as if she didn’t see me on the ground, my forehead touching the cold stone as I sucked in a lungful of air. I was worried you would be hungry. You missed dinner last night and when I checked on you, you were deep asleep.