The Arrangement: Collection B (Vol 4-6)

by Ward, H. M.

  “Here,” Mel hands me a box of tissues. I take them without looking up at her. She sits on the bed, across from me. For a while she says nothing. Then, Mel gets up and takes off her heels and puts away her dress. Water runs for a few minutes and then she comes out of the bathroom. After all that, Mel is in her jammies. She pulls her thick hair into a ponytail as she talks. “You can tell me, you know. I won’t judge. God knows, I don’t have the right.”

  I look up at her. My vision is fuzzy. My eyes feel swollen and I can barely swallow. I don’t want to talk about it, but I feel like I need to respond. Maybe it’ll make me feel better. Maybe. My lips part slowly and the words tumble out. “I told Sean that I loved him.”

  Mel doesn’t react even though I can tell she wants to. Instead, she shifts her legs and presses her lips together, trying not to chew me out. I know she wants to scream at me for being so stupid, but I also know she won’t. Mel can tell how close I am to mentally cracking. Her voice is gentle when she asks, “And then what?”

  I straighten in my chair and sniffle. Dabbing the tissue to my nose, I shrug and say, “He sent me back.”

  Mel’s head sways as her jaw falls open. “Like, he returned you?”

  I smile sadly. “No, it’s worse than that. He exchanged me. I said, ‘I love you’ and he said he wanted a new girl.” That scary look on Mel’s face is getting worse. Clearing my throat, I choke out, “That’s not the worst part.”

  “Oh shit. What else happened?”

  “Before I went to Sean’s tonight, Black gave me an advance so that I could buy new clothes. She didn’t like that I was wearing the same stuff. She gave me about half of my pay. When things went the way they did, I took the money and threw it in his face. Then, I walked out.” I breathe deeply and pinch the bridge of my nose. It feels like my face exploded.

  Mel’s voice is uncharacteristically quiet, “Black advanced you money and you threw it at the client?” I nod. “And Black wants it back, no doubt.” I nod again. “And I assume she fired you?”

  “No,” my voice is barely a whisper. It scratches out of my throat with a toad-like quality. “I get to work for free until my debt is paid off.” I glance over at her, not wanting to, not wanting to see the look on her face.

  Mel is rendered speechless for a moment, then everything comes out in a rush. “Avery, you have to go and get that money back from Sean. You don’t want things like this. Black’s not someone you want to be in debt to. You have to—”

  I put up my hand and cut her off. “There is no way in hell that I will ever go back to Sean and beg to get that money back, so you can just stop there.”

  “Now’s not the time for pride, Avery.”

  “You’re wrong, Mel. Now is the time for pride, because it’s the only fucking thing I have left. I sold myself to some guy that liked tugging my heartstrings. He made me think that he loved me. He made me think that my whole shitty life…” My voice trails off. I can’t finish saying it. Sean gave me a reason to breathe. He gave me something to look forward to, and he lit the embers of hope inside of me. I thought I’d never feel alive again, and now that I do, I want to die. Emotional whiplash isn’t for people with broken hearts. I feel like I’ve been torn apart.

  Pressing my fingers to my forehead, I rub little circles and say, “That scrap of pride is all I’ve got. I’m not going back to him. I’m not talking to him again, ever—for any reason. I’ll work it off.”

  Mel nods, but I can see it on her face—she doesn’t approve. She’s thinking, trying to help me figure things out. After a second she asks, “How much do you owe? Maybe I can lend you the money. It’s better owing me than Black.” She knows something that I don’t.

  I look at her for a moment and shake my head. “It was enough to buy a couple of cars, Mel. Thanks for offering, but I doubt you have it. Plus, you need to pay your bills. This was my mistake. I have to clean it up.”

  “What’s she going to have you do? You know Black’s guys do some nasty stuff, right?”

  I shrug. “I don’t care anymore. I really don’t. I okayed the entire sheet, you know.” Mel looks shocked. “I said I’d do anything.”

  “How could you say that?” she squeaks with her jaw hanging open.

  I pull my knees into my chest and wrap my arms around my legs. I don’t look at her. “How could I not? It doesn’t matter. None of this matters.”

  “Are you listening to yourself? You can’t let some dumbass guy ruin your life. He wanted a fuck and you gave him your heart. He doesn’t deserve you, Avery.

  “I’m so sorry. I wish I could fix this for you, but telling Black that you’ll do anything and everything is a bad plan. There are some sick bastards on her client list. They’re too twisted for me, so I know you aren’t going to be into it.

  “Plus, checking the anything box gets you anything. You’re not ready for that—and no, you don’t want to know what crazy shit they do.”

  I rub my eyes with the heel of my hands. “What choice do I have?” Mel doesn’t answer. I stop rubbing and look up at her.

  “Go get the money back from dickwad. Say, ‘gimme my money back so I don’t have to be a hoe for free.’” I tilt my head to the side and give her an expression that says I’d rather die first. She puffs up. “Well, you realize what it means then, right? That you gave it him for free. If you let Sean keep that money, it’s like you fucked him for nothing, and in return he gave you the biggest mind-fuck of your life. Go get your damn money back.” Mel is on her feet. She goes to her closet and pulls out a jacket, and stuff hers arms in the sleeves.

  “You are not going, so sit down.” When she bends over to find her sneakers, I repeat myself, “No. Mel, leave it. Please.” I walk up behind her. When Mel turns around, I feel the plea etched into my face. “Leave it alone.”

  She’s mad. I can see the tremor of anger course through her arms. Mel flexes her fingers and lets out a rush of air. Her finger is in my face. She tries to hold it still, but she’s so angry. Even though I know she isn’t mad at me, it feels like it. She growls at me, “I swear to God, if I see that motherfucker on the street, I’m going to rip his goddamn face off.”

  The corner of my mouth lifts. “That’d be okay, probably.”

  Mel snorts. The tension flows out of her back and her hand returns to her side. Mel shakes it off as fast as she can, but I can tell that she still wants to defend me. “I’ll give him a tattoo with that pretty carving knife I stole from naked dude.” She laughs. It sounds a little crazy, but I laugh, too.

  I glance at the door. Her words from before finally sink in. “Did you say someone was in my room with Amber?”

  “You know I did, and you don’t want to know who. I can’t believe it myself.” Mel peels off her jacket and throws it into the closet. It lands on the floor. Mel slips off her sneakers and slides the closet doors shut.

  “Well, now I have to know.”

  “No, you don’t. It’ll make you all sorts of crazy.” Mel doesn’t meet my gaze. Her eyebrows inch up her forehead and disappear, like she can’t believe it. I have a sinking feeling. She knows who it is and doesn’t like it. That’s why she doesn’t want to tell me.

  There’s only one person we both like and we both thought he was gay. “No,” I gasp, with my eyes wide. My hand flies to my mouth as it sinks in. “She’s with Marty?”

  3

  “Yeah,” Mel answers with a strange look on her face. One of her lower eyelids flutters, like she’s disgusted. “He’s been in there all night. Marty came up the stairs looking for you and stumbled on her.”

  “How do you know?” I ask, and glance at the door and then back at Mel. “I thought you were going to be out all night.”

  Mel shrugs. “Black reassigned me at the last second. I thought I was going to be out all night, too. When I got in, I texted M-boy to hang out. He said he was busy. So, after that I got nothing to do, right, so I figure that rattling the skank-hoe would be fun, so I go down and bang on her door.” Mel pauses and folds he
r arms over her chest. “Guess who answered?”

  Shaking my head, I say, “I can’t believe it.”

  “Well, believe it—turns out that Marty-boy is straight, although doing Amber is kind of twisted.” Mel is obviously disgusted. Her opinion of Marty just fell about six feet.

  I blink a few times. The thought of Amber and Marty is too much. I don’t want them together. I don’t really think about it, but I find myself on my feet and before I know it, I’m walking down the hall to my room. Mel is on my heels, telling me to think it through, but I don’t want to.

  They can’t!

  Stopping in front of my door, I try the knob. It’s locked. Odds are the door is blocked, too. I bang on the old wood so hard that the glittery sign Amber has placed above the door falls on my head and then tumbles to the carpet. I can’t believe how fast my anger is stoked. Maybe I’m too out of it to do this now, but I can’t stop.

  Before I know it, I’m pounding the door like a lunatic and screaming, “Open the damn door, Marty! I know you’re in there!” I’m practically punching the door when Amber yanks it open.

  Amber’s eyes dart to my fist and then to Mel. She shrieks and jumps back, like I’m going to slug her in the face. “You said she wasn’t coming home! You said you weren’t coming home!”

  I was nice to her and this is how she repays me. “So, you decided to sleep with my best friend? Just kill me while you’re at it! Where is he?” I push past Amber and into the room. Fury is building in my fists. If I don’t punch something soon, I’m going to snap. I can’t believe Marty. I can’t possibly fathom why he’d want Amber.

  But when I shove into the room, the sight makes me stop in my tracks. The emotions boiling inside of me don’t know where to go, so they come out of my mouth is a strangled sobbing laugh. My mouth gaps open and my fingers try to cover it. I’m stunned into silence.

  My side of the room has been barren since I moved in. I couldn’t afford to decorate it. After I shove past Amber, I see Marty sitting on my bed—fully clothed—and waving the tips of his fingers at me. The bed he’s sitting on isn’t mine. I mean, it is, but the bedspread and pillows… OMG. And it doesn’t stop there—the walls, the bed, the windows, the nightstand—everything is beautiful.

  It’s decorated in purples and browns. It’s exactly what I would have wanted, but better. Everything is perfect. The bedspread is two-tone raw silk in my favorite shade of lilac. The little lamp on the nightstand has a vintage shade with tassels hung from the base. There’s a dark chocolate colored frieze rug on the floor, so when I step out of bed in the morning my feet won’t get cold.

  There’s art—a real painting—above my headboard. I have a tufted headboard! My side of the room doesn’t look like a prison cell anymore. It’s a real bedroom, soft and pretty like Mel’s room. The entire time I look around, Mel is muttering obscenities and craning her neck the same way that I am, trying to take it all in.

  I can’t speak. I can’t breathe. My fingers are jammed to my lips as I stare.

  “Do you like it?” Marty sounds uncertain, like maybe he shouldn’t have done it. “You always said it was lacking, that you would have done something with it.” Marty looks at his hands and twists his fingers. “I wanted to give you a present. You’ve been through hell this week. I thought you were going to be out tonight. I was going to decorate, just slip in and out, but then Amber came in and… well, you came back early.” Marty gives me a lopsided smile and stands. Extending his arms, Marty says sheepishly, “Surprise.”

  I slam my hand against my chest to free the words caught in my throat. My lip trembles when I pull my fingers away. Every bit of my brain is in emotional overload. I can’t process what he’s done. Pressing my lips together, I try to speak. At first nothing comes out. I clear my throat and try again. “It’s beautiful. I love it! I can’t believe you did all this!” I run over to Marty and throw my arms around him. He towers over me so that my head is barely at his shoulders. He hugs me and pats my back.

  When Marty pulls away, he says, “It’s kind of shabby chic meets modern. I didn’t know what style you’d like, so I guessed.”

  I can’t stop smiling at him. I run my palm over the bedspread, feeling the soft fabric beneath my hand. “It’s perfect. Everything is perfect. I love it! I can’t believe you did this for me!”

  “You deserve it, kiddo.” Marty smiles at me. I can tell that he wants to say more, but Amber is there. His eyes flick over to Mel. “Someone said that work was getting harder and harder. Having something nice to come home to, well, it makes things a little better. And since you’ve got a good job, I thought you might want to stay for the summer and graduate early. We’d have so much fun.”

  “You’re staying this summer?” I ask, and he nods.

  Mel finally speaks up. “You almost made her brain blow up. And holy shit—you need to decorate my room. I would have never put this stuff together and it looks freakin’ awesome.” Mel’s still looking at things with her mouth hanging open—the curtains, the table, the linens. I have linens!

  Marty laughs and looks at me. “What’d you think I was doing?” His eyes cut to Amber and he startles. He does a double take. “Oh. Oh!” He smacks me lightly with the back of his hand. “Miss Dirty Brain!”

  Amber’s voice is hard. She glares at me. “What, you think I said all the crap in the stairwell for—fun?”

  I’m glad Amber’s nuts. I’m glad she’s always the same, always a bit bitchy. My hands fly up, palms facing her. “I don’t know my ass from my elbow. Do what makes you happy, Amber, just don’t do it on my new bed.” I giggle and jump on it and fall back. The throw pillows that were so neatly stacked get squashed under my head, while the rest tumble to the floor.

  “Awh, it took twenty minutes to get those just right,” Marty whines.

  I smile and sink into the new pillows and sigh happily.

  “Yeah, but look at her face.” Mel says. Her hard edges soften a bit. She glances at Marty. “You did a good thing, here. I’m glad you weren’t doing that thing over there, because I’d have to smack you around with a stupid stick for that.” Mel jabs her thumb at Amber.

  “I can hear you,” Amber sneers as she answers from her bed.

  “I know,” Mel yells back and rolls her eyes. “I said it loudly, you daft hoe.”

  Amber mutters something, but I talk over her. “You guys are great. Thank you. I needed this.”

  Marty grins and claps his hands like he’s five. “That’s what I was hoping you’d say. You know what happens now, right?” A huge grin sweeps across his face. “Sleepover!”

  Amber groans and covers her head with a pillow, while Marty shows me the inflatable beds with matching sheets that he put in one of the drawers under my new bed. We stay up until everyone passes out—everyone except me.

  I can’t sleep. Every time I close my eyes, I see Sean’s face and hear his words, I’m going to tell Black to send another girl. You can go.

  4

  The days pass slowly with little sleep. It’s hump day. Three days since I last saw Sean. Three days since he ripped a hole in my heart. In two days I will work for Miss Black and not get paid. In two days I will pay for my mistakes. I can’t think about it. Not now.

  I slip out of bed before Amber and jump into the shower. The hot water beats some of the tension out of my sore body. Quietly, I move in the room and get ready for the day. As I dress, I look for my Mom’s cross. I feel myself sinking and I want it. I dig through my jewelry and fail to see the necklace.

  The last time I had it was over the weekend at Mom’s grave—then the beach. A shiver slips over my spine. If it fell out of my pocket at the beach, I’ll never find it again. I dig through my dresser again, but it’s not there. A frantic feeling is squeezing my throat. I find the clothes from the beach—still filled with sand—and dig through the pockets. My chest constricts. I can’t breathe.

  My eyes have the stinging panicky thing going on when Mel pushes the door open. “It’s pancake day. G
et a move on girl.” She snaps her fingers at me. Amber rolls over, muttering nasty comments at Mel. Mel steps inside and finally takes a good look at my face. “What’s the matter?”

  “I lost my mom’s necklace. It isn’t here.” I clutch my face, trying not to freak out. I turn to Mel and drop my hands to my sides. “I must have dropped it on the beach.”

  Mel knows how much that necklace means to me. A sad smile softens her features. Mel jerks her head toward the door and says, “No problem. Field 5, here we come.”

  “But—”

  “But nothing, Avery. Come on. I bet we have time to grab some hotcakes to eat in the car. It’s not the same thing, but it’ll be better than nothing. There’s an hour and half before class. We can totally make it there and back in time. Come on.” Mel turns and heads out the door.

  I’m on her heels. We pretty much run to her car. Mel is wearing a nice pair of jeans with rhinestones on the back pockets and a form fitting sweater that shows off her curves. I’m wearing ratty jeans with holes in the knees, a tank, and my holey sweater. The wind cuts through it, stinging my skin.

  Mel takes a fast detour through a McDonald’s drive-thru and grabs us breakfast. Then, she speeds out to Jones Beach. The bridges are empty at this time of day. The only people up this early are deer and cops.

  Mel stuffs her face with a pancake rolled up like a burrito. When make it to the parking lot, she says, “Okay, we have about forty-five minutes before we have to leave. I know where you guys were, but let’s start from where you parked and then head out onto the sand.” I nod and point to where we parked that day. Mel rolls the car into a slot and kills the engine. We both get out and start looking.