The Arrangement: Collection B (Vol 4-6)

by Ward, H. M.

  “You can touch me, Henry.” I sit up and unzip my dress. I push the top down so he can see the bra.

  “Oh, God.” Henry sucks in air like there isn’t enough. He stares at my breasts, salivating. I know he wants to touch, but he doesn’t. He just looks at me and freezes. His eyes rise to my face. “How far would you go on a second date?”

  I don’t understand his question. I smile at him. “It depends on the guy. With you, second base is a given, and if you keep looking at me like that I might not be able to control myself.”

  The words feel like acid in my mouth. I hate lying. I imagine what I’d say to Sean if he asked me that. I shouldn’t feel any remorse. Sean is fucking some other call girl right now, but I don’t enjoy this. I put on the best sexy smile I can manage and crawl toward him on my hands and knees with my dress pushed down around my waist. “Kiss me, Henry. Don’t make me beg for it.”

  Henry takes me in his arms and kisses me forever. I lose track of time, but it feels like he’s avoiding doing anything more. When I reach for his belt, Henry shifts so he’s on top of me. He finally dips his head to my breast. His lips are gentle.

  I close my eyes and imagine I’m somewhere else. I want this to be over. My heart pounds harder and I realize that I’m afraid. Henry’s lips press against me over and over, but they feel like razor wire. There’s no connection, no desire. I know I need to force it. I thought lust would override my brain at some point, but it isn’t happening.

  Henry’s hands move up and down my body and he pulls me up onto his lap. He dips his head and sucks my taut nipples between his lips. I finally respond. His touch, and the ring clamped around me, makes it so I’d have to be numb not to. My hips buck into his and I tilt my head back. I grab hold of that feeling, knowing I need to hold onto it to do this. I keep picturing Sean and begin to feel more into it. My hands tangle in his hair and I say things, but I don’t hear the words. Henry stays there like that, kissing my breasts, neck, and lips until he suddenly stops. Henry pushes away and shakes his head.

  I’m flushed and breathing hard. I don’t understand why he got up. “What’s wrong?”

  He rubs his hands over his head and down his neck. “Nothing. Nothing at all. You’re perfect.”

  “Then, why’d you get up?”

  He smiles at me, still trying to catch his breath. “You said second base. I have to stop or I won’t be able to.”

  I grin at him and get up. His eyes fixate on my bra. The crystals are still dangling from my nipples. He finally tears his gaze away and looks up at my face. “You don’t have to stop, Henry. It’s okay, really.” I slip my arms around his neck and lock my eyes with his.

  He shakes his head. “It’s my fantasy, Allison. I want it to play out longer.”

  I don’t know what to do. Is he returning me? I freak out a little bit, but try not to show it. “So what do you want to do now? It’s still early.”

  Henry steps back and pushes me away. “Please, put your dress on. I’ll arrange another date with you. We can hit third base next time.”

  I smile at him, and reach forward, gently touching his arm. “Henry, I’m yours now.” He looks over at me with lust in his eyes, but he’s torn. I can see it all over his face. He wants me in a way that he can’t have me. “Have you hired a call girl before?”

  “Not for this.” He watches me for a moment, and then lowers his lashes.

  I wrap my arms around him and hold on tight. I hug him because he’s the sweetest man alive. I kiss his cheek and then step back and pull up my straps and zip my dress. “I can imagine why. You seriously bought me so you could date me?”

  He nods. “It’s the only way, right?” I nod. His eyes drift over my dress.

  An idea crosses my mind. I wonder if I should press him, but I do it anyway. I unzip my dress again and start to pull it down. “I want to show you something.”

  He waves his hands at me. “That’s unnecessary.” He actually looks away like he shouldn’t be watching me, but he can’t help it. Henry keeps peeking at me out of the corner of his eye.

  “Oh, it’s totally necessary. I want to show you what you missed.” I drop the dress to the floor and stand there in my little nothing bottoms and walk slowly toward him. “Do you still want to wait until next time?”

  Henry swallows hard. His eyes sweep over me. “You’re not playing fair.”

  I smile at him and back up. I want to make sure he asks for me again. This dating thing could help secure my job. I give him a sexy smile. “No, I’m not. Pick up your phone and take my picture. I want you to look at it later when I’m gone.”

  Henry grabs his phone off the counter and takes a few quick pictures of me. I lay on the bed and he snaps more. When he’s done, I take it and delete all but one shot. Henry looks down at his one picture. “That was evil.”

  “Allison does evil things.” I grin at him and slip my dress back on.

  “Yes, you do.” After I’m dressed, he comes over and pulls me against him again. Henry presses his lips to mine and kisses me again. When he’s breathless, he pulls away. “You better go.”

  He walks me to the door. I lean in and brush my lips lightly to his. “Good night, Henry. I can’t wait to see you again.” I wink at him and turn away. I make sure to sway my hips as I walk away. I can feel his eyes on me. I hope I made the right decision. I didn’t want to push him. It felt like he’d regret it. Henry wants this to feel real, so I’ll make it real.

  When I walk outside, I see Gabe smoking at the edge of the sidewalk. I shift around people, cut through the crowds on the sidewalk, and make my way over to him.

  Gabe shakes his head. “Did you get thrown out?”

  “Nope. I think I did good. I wanted to tell you that I’m done for the night. I’m going to hang out in the city for a while. I’ll check in tomorrow. Have a good night.” I’m smiling too much. I can’t wait to see Sean.

  Before I turn to walk away, Gabe nods. His voice follows after me. “You want me to drop you off?”

  I turn back. “No, that’s okay.”

  Gabe stands and takes a long pull on the cigarette before putting it out. As he walks over to me, he lets out the smoke. “I know where you’re going. Let me drive you so you don’t get mugged on the way there. You can’t go in the subway looking like that.” Gabe shakes his head, like I have no brains.

  I’m not dumb enough to deny anything. “Will you tell her?”

  “Only if I’m asked, Miss Stanz, and since I already know you’re screwing Mr. Ferro, I think it’s safer if I drive you to his hotel.”

  “I’m not screwing him!”

  He gives me a look. “Call it what you want, but it’ll get you fired. Wait here. I’ll get the limo.”

  Gabe returns to the curb with the car moments later, and then drives me a few blocks to Sean’s hotel. I’m early and really excited. I thought I’d be creeped out and covered in sweat. Instead, I feel pretty good.

  Before we pull up, Gabe says, “Something’s wrong with him, you know. More so than with other guys. Ferro did something.”

  I lean forward. “What are you talking about?”

  Gabe is in line to get to the drop-off. He pulls the car up. We’re next. “It was in the papers a few years back. Plus the guy is off. Don’t trust him. I know you do, I can see it on your face, but you’re not an old guy like me. I see what he is. I wish you’d stop this. The guy you were just with is safer than Ferro.”

  “What are you talking about? What did Sean do?” I finish my question just as we pull up. The hotel worker opens the door. I hesitate. I want to hear what Gabe has to say, but he’s silent.

  I step out of the car and watch him pull away. The floor of my stomach twists and the skin on my neck prickles. I look up at the building. The windows are lit all the way up to the penthouse. I go inside and try to shake off the bad vibe that’s crawling over my skin.

  The elevator carries me up and I’m on Sean’s floor. Smiling, I walk towards his room just as the door opens. I stop i
n my tracks when I see who steps out. I hear her voice, and see her, but I can’t believe it. Part of my brain keeps telling me that she wouldn’t do that to me, but there she is. A million emotions collide until I can’t think.

  Mel. It’s Mel. She said she was working tonight. She’s the only other girl at Black’s that will do the things Sean wants. She mentioned a sick guy a few weeks ago. Now I know who she meant.

  Sean stands in the doorway with his shirt unbuttoned, holding the door open. His dark hair is tousled and his cheeks are rosy. Images of him and Mel together flash through my mind. I want to scream. I want to walk over there and shriek at both of them, but I don’t move. I’m frozen.

  I wish I could rewind and start over. I wish I never met him. In a matter of seconds, I’ve lost my best friend and Sean. It’s as if he feels my eyes on his face. Sean slowly looks up and freezes. Our eyes lock. His lips part and everything seems to happen in slow motion. Mel turns and has the same horrified expression on her face.

  Before either of them says anything, I step towards Mel. “How could you!” My hand flies and I slap her in the face. My palm stings as she closes her eyes and takes the hit. Mel doesn’t move.

  I glance at Sean, but I can’t even speak. My fists clench and unclench at my sides. I breathe too hard and feel my throat tighten. Tears sting my eyes as betrayal snakes its way into my heart.

  I turn on my heel and run.

  23

  Heart pounding, I press the button for the elevator a million times, but the doors don’t open. My body is surging with too many emotions. It feels like I’m going to fall to pieces. I hear them behind me. Sean’s voice rings out in my ears, but I don’t want to listen. Nothing they say will fix this. I feel like there’s an axe in my chest and I’m bleeding out. The sense of betrayal is strangling me and muddying my thoughts.

  I don’t wait. I run toward the end of the hallway and shove through the door. I’m in the stairwell. Before I know it, I’m running down the stairs as quickly as possible. Just as I fly down the first set of steps, the door bangs open. Sean is standing there, shirt open, and breathing hard.

  I stop. Time freezes and I wish to God that we never met. His eyes lock with mine. His lips part like he’s going to say something, but I don’t want to hear it. I’m done. No, it’s past that. I can’t bear this. I can’t take the lot I’ve been handed. It’s strangling the life out of me. As it is, I can barely breathe. The moment shatters when I look away. I’m running, heart pounding, flying down the stairs. My hand grips the railing hard as my body whirls around when I reach the landing. My heels are slowing me down.

  Sean’s voice rings out behind me. “Avery, wait!” But I don’t stop.

  Footfalls follow close behind me growing louder and louder. There’s no going back, not after this. Mind racing, I try to decide what to do, where to go. They both know the places I run to when I’m shaken, when life has brought me to my knees. My heel catches the edge of a step wrong and I stumble forward. My arms flail in front of me and I catch my balance.

  “Damn it, Avery! Stop!” Sean is closer, so much closer. If he touches me, I’ll scream. Emotions are building inside of me, and the only thing that keeps me from shattering is that he isn’t touching me. He can’t touch me. I can’t stop.

  The balls of my feet smack each step, barely touching it as I fly down another flight. I’m huffing. Hysteria is closing in around me. I feel it slick over my skin like a snake. I can’t choke it back down. I can’t banish it. Sean calls out again, but I don’t stop.

  Just as I’m about to round another landing, there’s a loud crash behind me. Sean stumbles forward after jumping from the stairs above. He curses as he lands and his knee buckles, knocking him toward me. The momentum sweeps us into the wall.

  “You have the shittiest timing,” he huffs. Sean’s body is crushing me into the wall. He takes a deep breath and straightens, but leaves me trapped between his body and the wall. A hand rests on either side of my head. He leans into me. “It’s not what it looks like.”

  I don’t want to hear it. “I know what I saw.”

  I try to twist away from him. My heart is slamming into my ribs and my brain is telling me that it’s going to break if I stay here. He can’t touch me. I have to leave. I have to. Frantic, I try to twist away from him and duck under his arm, but Sean’s hand juts out and grabs my wrist.

  “Let me go,” I growl. My voice is so low. I’m going to snap. I feel my mental rope—the one that holds me together—coming apart string by string.

  Sean leans in close to my face. “No. You’re wrong and if I let you go, I’ll never see you again. Walk up the stairs, Avery.”

  I shake my head and try to pull away. “Go fuck the rest of my friends, and leave me alone.”

  “Avery.” There’s a warning tone in his voice, but I don’t care.

  I dig my nails into his arm and try to pry my wrist away. “I said leave me alone!” I scream the words in his face. They echo through the stairwell. The vibrations bounce back at us.

  As I speak, I twist and fall to the floor. Sean can’t hold me. My wrist comes free. I jump up and just as I start to run, he grabs me by the waist. I scream as I’m whirled around and hurled over his shoulder. My dress gets hiked up insanely high. Sean holds onto my legs at my thigh and tightens his grip. I kick and slam my fists into his back, but he doesn’t let go. Sean turns and starts back up the stairs. The movement makes me stop flailing. I hold onto him, afraid of falling over the edge of the railing and down the center of the staircase.

  He can tell I’m afraid. “You should have walked back up the stairs.” That’s all he says before his walk turns into a run. I bounce on his shoulder and cling to him like I’m going to die. A terrified scream rips from my throat. Sean finally hits the top landing and pushes back through the door. We’re in the hallway and headed toward his room.

  Mel’s voice rings out as we approach. “Awh, shit. She’s going to kill you when you put her down. You know that, right?”

  Sean moves fast. He shoves past Mel and we’re in his room. I hear the door close behind me. Mel leans against it and shakes her head before turning away. I want to scream at her, but just as I start to talk, I’m jostled. Sean’s hands are around my waist. He lifts me from his shoulder, and tosses me on the bed. I yelp as I fall through the air and land on the mattress.

  I dart upright, but before I can move Sean jumps on top of me, pinning me down. His face is too close to mine. His touch burns like acid. I writhe and try to break free, but I can’t. I kick and scream. Sean watches me with those irritating blue eyes.

  How could he be so cold? How the fuck could he do this to me, then drag me back here like it doesn’t matter?

  Sean’s looking down at me. I can feel his eyes on the side of my face. “I’ll let you go, but you have to look around first. Look at the room, Avery.” Sean’s voice softens.

  He watches me, but I don’t want to look. I stare at him defiantly. Anger is consuming me. Every muscle in my body is corded tight, ready to snap. My vision flickers at the edges and spots of red burst behind my eyes like fireworks. I’m so angry that I’m shaking.

  My mind keeps replaying the past few weeks. They streak by like a movie that’s playing too fast. I see Sean’s face on the day I met him, that smile, then the kite hitting his head, and I remember the feeling of his lips on my body, and it’s too much. I can’t take it. Every thought, every memory is toxic. It’s killing me. The urge to run shoots through me again. I lean forward like I’m going to say something and spit in his face.

  Sean takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly. He wipes my saliva away with the back of his hand. “I deserved that, but not for this.” His hands slip into my hair on either side of my face. He tilts my chin up and meets my gaze. “Please, look around.” The way he says it is so frail, like he’s given up.

  It rips through me, but I can’t calm down. When his hands fall away and he stands up, I jump off the bed and run straight at him like a crazy perso
n. My fists bang into his chest and I’m screaming. Words fly out of my mouth and I don’t even know what I’m saying. They tangle with tears and all logic is lost. I can’t think. I wish to God that I couldn’t feel. “I didn’t want this! This wasn’t supposed to be my fucking life! And you and your goddamn demons! I have my own! I can’t live like this! I can’t!

  “I’m falling apart. It’s killing me. I’m drowning and there’s no way to stop it. When I fall asleep at night, I feel the water around my neck, cold like a metal noose. Every night, the noose grows tighter and tighter. I wish I never met you! I’m not falling for your screwed-up shit anymore. I don’t care how you feel. I don’t care what I see!”

  When I turn away from, Sean I’m shaking. There’s a tremor that runs down my spine. It swallows me whole. My face is damp with cold sweat. I close my eyes hard and try to focus my blurring vision as I move across the room. I’m leaving. They can’t stop me.

  Sean says nothing. He watches me step toward the door without a word.

  But Mel is there. She moves in front of the only way out, blocking it. She folds her arms over her chest and she shakes her head. “You are not leaving until you turn around.”

  “Get out of the way.” My jaw locks and my eyes narrow. My fists tighten at my sides. Her eyes drop to my hands before returning to my face.

  “Do you plan on punching the shit out of everyone who cares about you?”

  “You don’t care about me.”

  She throws her head back and laughs. “You’re such a wreck that you can’t tell your ass from your elbow right now. The man asked you to look at the room and you can’t even do that. Your brain left your body the minute you stepped out of that elevator. Or was it earlier when you were fucking Henry Thomas? Maybe you left your brain with him?”

  My jaw drops. It hangs open, but I don’t breathe. I thought she was my friend. I thought Mel cared about me, but she doesn’t. Betrayal winds its way up my throat and chokes me. I want to punch her. I want to scream at her, but I can’t say anything. Then, when she brings up Henry, it’s like a verbal bitch-slap.